The Joke That Accidentally Became A 'Fact' @JoeKwaczala
The first person to kiss Paula Abdul isn't who you think it is. We are told that, according to Paula, I had my first kiss under a tree near the school. It was with a boy named Michael, who rarely spoke, but he would sometimes give me one of the cookies from his lunch.
Maybe it was the gifts that made me feel special. I don't know, but when our lips touched, it felt magical. But there were no lips, at least not on a guy named Michael, who had cookies.
The whole story is made up. It's a joke written by Joe Quozzala. It was published on ClickHole in 2015, where the joke was that it sounds like a story from her youth, but it's actually adult Paula Abdul just talking about her week so far.
But the punchline was lost on many, and today, if you Google Paula Abdul's first kiss, you will find that that joke has become consensus history. Now, I looked into it, and Paula Abdul's first kiss actually came from a man named Craig Schiller.
But I'm glad that quiet Michael, a man who was never born and has no lips, is here with us. He sounds nice.