15 Lessons Defeat Teaches You

There are two types of people in this world: those who've experienced defeat and those who are about to be defeated. Unless, of course, you're Miyamoto Musashi or Sun Tzu. Even then, we're talking about legends. Listen, we don't want to discourage anyone, but the truth is, given enough time, defeat and failure become an inevitability.

Can you prepare for it? Sure, by all means. This is what this video is about. Can you avoid it? Well, not exactly. People say this a lot, and we don't mean to sound cliché, but defeat truly is the best teacher. You want us to prove it? Then make sure to watch until the end.

Day Luxor, here are 15 invaluable lessons defeat teaches you. Welcome to a Lux.

Number one: pick your battles wisely. Some battles are simply not worth fighting, so pick them wisely. Before engaging in conflict with anyone or embarking on a journey, make sure you actually know what you're getting yourself into. Once you step inside the ring, so to speak, there's no going back. Unless you're prepared, and arguably even then, there is a chance you'll face defeat. And that's okay. We all have to learn in some way or another. Just be aware of what potential defeat could cost you.

At the same time, you don't want to be a doormat. Some battles are worth fighting, even if you think you'll lose. It's all up to you to decide, just to be as strategic as possible about it, especially when it comes to matters of life and death.

Number two: defeat builds character. Now we mentioned that some battles are worth fighting. That's because defeat is the best teacher. Hard times create strong men; strong men create good times; good times create weak men; and weak men create hard times. It's a fact that modern humans experience way fewer hardships compared to someone who lived, let's say, 100 years ago.

Our struggles are different, but arguably pretty bearable. That's because we're living in the Golden Age of humanity, as far as our history tells us. We're rarely exposed to what people as close as a few decades ago considered real hardships. All this comfort has made us kind of weak, though. Similarly, going through the pain of defeat, with enough open-mindedness, will strengthen your character. So don't run away from it. Alexa, embrace it and use it to become the best version of yourself.

Number three: you're not entitled to anything. It's human nature to think that we deserve more than we're actually worth. Act like this, and soon you'll come face to face with a feeling called disappointment. Now, this might sound controversial, but just hear us out; we've got a good point here. Most of the things that happen around us are way beyond our control. We can put ourselves forward and pour our soul into the thing, and it could still not be enough.

Now for argument's sake, let's say you truly deserve to win a competition. What if it doesn't happen? In the end, you'll still experience defeat and resentment, unless, of course, you change your perspective. Just think about all the things that can be taken away from you right now. It can get pretty scary, right? The truth is, we are not entitled to anything.

So whatever the outcome, with every action and step you take, remember that your perspective is the only thing that can be taken away from you. If you value inner peace, detachment from outcomes and healthy expectations will serve you very well in life.

Number four: if you want to win, know yourself. Sun Tzu, the undefeated Chinese general who mentioned in the intro and the author of the book "The Art of War," once said, "Know yourself and you will win all battles." Don't underestimate the value of this quote. A Luxor, before mastering anything else, we are required to master ourselves; otherwise, you can't guarantee you'll do your best.

Life is unpredictable, and things can get stressful at times, revealing our true natures. Self-mastery can and will prevent potential errors of judgment and undesirable emotional reactions. If you still believe this isn't the case, rest assured defeat will come, and it'll eventually teach you this lesson.

Number five: if you want to win, study your competition. Make sure there are no blind spots. Sun Tzu also said the following: "If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained, you will also suffer a defeat." Because look, knowing your competition is just as vital as knowing yourself. Those two principles complete each other very nicely.

How can you prepare accordingly and come up with a good plan unless you study your enemy? How can you ensure that your enemy remains defeated and doesn't fight back later, causing you a loss? You can't, unless you know precisely how your competition thinks and acts. If you don't, be sure that your rivals will, and they're going to play things to their advantage.

Be a good strategist; study your enemy. Don’t wait for a potential defeat to come and teach you this lesson. Always be one step ahead.

Number six: rely on yourself more than you rely on others. There are few things more valuable than self-reliance. If you expect others to accomplish your goals in your place, we've got some bad news for you. Nobody will work on your business the way you do. Nobody will deliver and fight with the same determination and passion as you do. Great leaders understand that, and as a result, they keep their teams in check.

If you sleep on your dream and take more time to relax than necessary, just know that things have a higher chance of falling apart quicker than you think. Don't wait for the moment to come; act now and remember this: the only high expectations you should have are from yourself.

Number seven: defeat is an opportunity to learn. You can choose to see defeat as a negative external event, or you could choose to see it as an opportunity to analyze and correct the flaws in your strategy. What better way than to put your values and knowledge to the test? If they fail you, it's fine; find something else that works better or tweak them to fit into the context.

This is how scientists and entrepreneurs approach life, their case studies, and new and potentially disrupting ideas. If you adopt this mindset, defeat will naturally become food for the growth mindset.

Number eight: resilience is everything. Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter, try again. Fail again, fail better. This quote from Samuel Beckett illustrates this point perfectly. You could choose to give up, admit your defeat, and remain a loser forever, or you could choose to be relentless in your pursuit of victory and choose to never give up.

Just think of all the famous people who failed in life and chose not to give up. Just a few examples: Michael Jordan, the best basketball player of all time; he was kicked out of his high school basketball team early in his career. Walt Disney was fired from his job at a newspaper because they claimed he lacked imagination. The first two motor businesses founded by Henry Ford failed miserably. We could go on like this for hours, Alexor, but it's clear to say that resilience is key to success and a valuable lesson that people learn in defeat.

Don't get discouraged; be relentless, and you certainly will thrive.

Number nine: the value of flexibility. Being flexible is crucial, especially in the current day and age. Technology is on a mission to disrupt our daily lives and our business models faster than ever before. Whatever your perspective, those who learn how to adapt and pivot when things change are going to have an edge over their competition.

Defeat will teach you to be flexible and always come up with new ideas. If you don't embrace change and remain stagnant, well, the world will forget you.

Number ten: the value of patience. Stubborn and reckless people learn this lesson the hard way. Not being patient is a sure path to defeat, whatever the context. When we force things, what we find is the outcome might be the opposite of what we expect.

A tree takes a long time to grow; a battle requires preparation and careful planning, and a great business is built over decades. Those who understand that will know the process of achieving your goals matters more than how fast you end up at the finish line. Great things take time to build, and if you fail to grasp that, nothing you achieve is going to last.

Number eleven: the virtue of humility. There are two types of people in this world: those who are humble and those who are about to be humbled. If there's one thing that defeat can teach you, it's humility. Acting cocky and being arrogant is all fun and games until you can no longer back it up.

And be sure people will use any given opportunity to call you out on your BS. At which point, you could keep acting like a clown or embrace that humility. Don't let your own ego cloud your judgment, because defeat could be right around the corner. Many failures in life could be avoided if you decide today to dissolve your ego and be more humble. Even your biggest enemies will respect you for that. Be humble in victory and proud in defeat.

Number twelve: the virtue of courage. Victory is not final; defeat is not failure; it's all about courage. This is a quote from one of Winston Churchill's speeches that he gave during World War II, when all hope seemed to have been lost, and it continues to inspire people even today. Courage is a force of strength in the face of pain and adversity.

In extreme situations, defeat can only be acknowledged if we lose the battle with life. As long as you're breathing, keep fighting with courage, even when the odds are against you. If you lose, at least you did your best and learned the value of courage.

Number thirteen: strive for excellence, not perfection. Salvador Dali, a renowned Spanish artist, once famously said, "Have no fear of perfection; you'll never reach it." And hey, it's hard to disagree with that. What we should do instead is strive for excellence.

If you think you've got the perfect technique, the perfect business model, the perfect anything, you're about to come face to face with defeat. People who think they can attain perfection will be ignorant of their blind spots. This is a recipe for disaster and disappointment.

But sometimes this is the price we have to pay in order to be more realistic. Forget about perfection, Elixir; strive for excellence and accept you can't possibly get everything right.

Number fourteen: under-promise and over-deliver. Some people are masters when it comes to creating unnecessary hype. Defeat teaches one to work in silence, master their craft, and over-deliver when the proper time comes. That's how you surpass people's expectations.

Talking too much creates a few obvious risks. First, someone might steal your idea. Secondly, if you flex about something before achieving it and you don't deliver according to those set expectations, your credibility will be affected. And thirdly, according to the law of instant gratification, you'll experience lower motivation levels because you've already experienced those dopamine hits prematurely.

So, Alexor, talk less, work more, and let the results speak for themselves.

Number fifteen: focus only on what you can control. It's possible to make no mistakes and still lose. This is not a weakness; that's life. Distinguishing between what we can and what we can't control is key to preventing undesired outcomes. Fail to understand this, and you'll make all sorts of stupid mistakes.

If you can't do something about it, let the problem solve itself or find a way to work around it. Don't wait for defeat to sneak around and teach you this lesson. Find your own way, and Alexa, with all this being said, it's time to wrap up this video.

But don't quit the video just yet; we're curious to know what's the most important lesson defeat has ever taught you. We've thought a lot about this topic, so naturally we're very curious to hear your take on the subject. So drop your answer in the comments below. We love starting conversations with the community.

Now, if you enjoyed this video, hit the like button to make sure this video reaches the open world of the internet. And because you stuck with us until the very end, of course, here's your bonus.

Number sixteen: as cliché as it sounds, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. True strength comes from real hardships and numerous defeats. As long as you live, every failure is a chance for you to grow and become stronger.

Similarly to how a muscle is built by ripping fibers apart during intense workout sessions, that's basically what it's like being a stronger human as a whole. This mindset has kept humanity alive for thousands of years. The miracle of life proves this.

So whatever happens, remember: if you're still breathing, you only lost the battle, not the war. And we'll end on that note. Thanks for spending some time with us today, Alexor. We'll see you back here again tomorrow.

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