NERD WARS! Punisher Vs Riddick (Vin Diesel)
Nerd Wars: Vin Diesel versus Marvel characters take two.
So this week we're doing, uh, Vin Diesel from Ric, yes? Or Ric as Vin Diesel, or ridiculous, ha! That movie you like, that you like that.
Versus The Punisher. The Punisher being one of the baddest ass characters, the blackest wearing character with the skull on his chest in all the Marvel Universe. Yeah, I'd say you're right. I, yeah, you got that one. I got that one point, Ridic.
But no, how is that a—? All right, any time I name a fact, I get a point, which as people watch know I don't do that very often. So, Jeff, why don't you go ahead and kick off the argument?
Okay, I am going to give Ridic the battle, if only for his extra human vision. He polished his eyeballs—polished his eyes! I haven't seen The Punisher do anything remotely that badass!
Ric, he lives in this world where it's like, you know, he's in outer space. They have space cards and stuff—night vision! That's his fraking power—night vision! I got news: Punisher has night vision!
Go! Have you been trapped in interstellar mins? Here's how a battle between Punisher and freaking Ridic would work in a mine.
Oh, I win! I win! No, that—give him—see, that isn't Punisher.
Like, where are my glasses? Adam can't even see right now!
Put them on. Go ahead!
You know you're a freaking idiot, Jeff. You're a freaking idiot!
All right, like seriously, Ric's only thing is being able to see. That's his—that's his freaking superpower! Like a race of warrior he came from, a Warrior Race, yeah? And he's the last surviving guy, and he was an elite warrior in the Warrior Race.
Let me ask you something. Mhm, have you ever read Punisher versus the Marvel Universe? Have you ever read freaking Ric fanfic?
Punisher kills the Marvel Universe! Punisher kills everyone in the Marvel Universe, including Captain America! Including Captain America—with a gun!
H—what? With a gun!
What point? Trip x? No! Triple X just won that battle!
Triple X didn't—triple X isn't The Punisher! There's a—there's a difference! There's a difference! Keep arguing this [ __ ]!
All right, all I got—the ultimate trump card! But I'll let you make one more point.
You have the ultimate trump card? You have no freaking card! One more point! One more point!
Yeah, one more point is I just want to mention some of the other crappy movies Vin Diesel's been in: The Pacifier!
All right, you're telling me the guy from The Pacifier can beat The Punisher? Absolutely wrong! Iron Giant too!
Iron Giant? Another turd!
What? Yes! You're dead! You heard me! You heard it here!
Here's the ultimate point, right? Yeah, let's hear it! Freaking Ric spent an entire movie with Claudia Black!
Point Ridic! No, that's not—that's not the hottest woman in all of sci-fi in my—
In my book, Farscape, one of the best science fiction series to do.
Point Ric! That has nothing to do with a fight between these two people! That has nothing to do with a fight between these two people!
The mine? He wins the mine scenario hands down! He wins the—he wi—the woman scenario hands down!
What—what is, uh, what has he got going for him? What, Ric? Nothing!
Punisher! The only way that rck would beat The Punisher is if affirmative action got involved, because since he's mentally [ __ ] they'd probably just give it to him!
Rck basically took out an entire Empire. It took out an entire Empire!
I've already mentioned, Punisher took out every superhero that exists in the entire Marvel Universe!
Yeah, and rck took out an entire Empire!
No! An entire Empire of [ __ ]!
Yeah, you heard me! Did you see those guys? Yeah, the Kilmorey or whatever the freak they're called—they can [ __ ] warp through space.
Kind of—I don't know! They can—through space!
Describe an Intergalactic species of emo kids! Okay, that's what—that's what, uh, Ric can do!
That's—yeah—way to go! Way to go! Next time there's a rave I need to break up, I'll call up Vin Diesel!
But if I need a badass guy to get killed, I'm calling The Punisher!
And next time I have a party, I'm calling Vin Diesel too! I'm not inviting The Punisher, 'cause he can't get any ladies!
He'd be fun at a party!
He would be fun at a party! If this was an argument of who would be a better party guest, I'd say Vin Diesel!
Vin Diesel in a heartbeat! Keep posting your suggestions; I'll keep arguing and making Adam upset.