Gov Of The Gaps (Mirror)

We're getting a lot of disease in our town lately, and we don't know how to stop it. Does anyone have any ideas?

"Yes, I have an idea."

"Mr. Scientist, go ahead."

"Yes, I have this theory. You see, that disease is caused by teeny tiny little life forms called germs. These germs get inside us and attach to us and do things that make us sick."

"So what do you propose?"

"I propose we clean everything up. Maybe we can lower our disease rate a little bit if we get rid of all the things we think are yucky."

"Maybe."

"Well, I'm not certain, but it hasn't been tried, so perhaps we can brush the germs away. And maybe there's a way to kill the germs. Also, I have another theory that we are actually made of teeny tiny little blots that are just like the germs. But of course, this is all a theory. But if we ran some studies, then perhaps we could determine if there was a statistically significant way of lowering the disease as a response to cleaning."

"Okay, Storyteller, what is your solution?"

"We sacrifice a goat to Bosa, and Bosa will protect."

"Scientist, do you have anything to offer besides maybes and buts? We ask a simple question, and all you offer are theories and maybe if we do this, we might see an improvement. You don't have a solid answer to the simple question. Why can't you be more like the Storyteller? See, sacrifice a goat—that's a simple and sensible solution to our problem."

"Wow, just wow."

"Scientist is [ __ ] talk as usual. As for your first statement, it hasn't been tried—you are a reptilian alien gray Jew. I don't like what the Storyteller says all the time, but I can see where he's coming from, unlike you [ __ ] talk."

"Um, Mr. Scientist, we in Floraa want to take your advice."

"Great! Let's get cleaning."

"After cleaning, disease actually went up in Flora."

"Wait, no, no, no, no, no, no. It couldn't go up. We got rid of all the germs. It must be a statistical fluke! Cleaning out the germs couldn't make more disease. This is impossible. We didn't sacrifice a goat to Bosa, and Bosa's got mad! Now he's punishing us. I believed in you, man. I believed that cleaning would make us healthier, and now look at what happened! We'll be sure never to clean again. Come on, let's sacrifice a goat!"

"You know, like actually do something that'll work."

"Hey, everybody, you won't believe what Obama did yesterday."

"Um, hey everybody! As we all know, there's been a rash of property disputes, and we have no way to solve them. For example, we have this property dispute between Digletts and this walking plant thing, and we have no way to settle it. Does anyone have any ideas how to settle property disputes in our town?"

"I have an idea, Mr. Scientist. Go ahead!"

"Okay, I propose we all get into a series of contracts and make deals about how to settle property disputes. And whatever way proves to be the best is what every way will gravitate to. Now what I think will happen is that private courts will issue rulings, and these rulings from the private courts will be enforced negatively. If you disobey a private court ruling, then the court will just contact a creditor or loan company and lower your credit rating or even make it so you can never get a loan if your crime is bad enough. Or they will contact utilities and get them to shut off your water and electricity. And with private courts, they have to earn their respect. So if a court gets abusive, then that court will no longer have respect and can no longer issue rulings. So it's a self-correcting system. So you don't get abuse from the courts. And perhaps courts will even contact a defense agency to execute people if they do things like rape or murder. But this is all just my theory. And again, if they execute too many people, then the court gets no respect and will no longer be used. And so it's self-correcting. And this is just a theory."

"Well, I can't predict what the absolute best way will be, and there's a bunch of ways to solve this problem. You know, we just need to try it out. We just need to see what works. We just need to— we just need to test things. Okay? It's the scientific method! So you can't predict?"

"And it's maybes and all these… maybe just a theory. Hm."

"Storyteller, what's your solution?"

"We give a bunch of people a bunch of guns and have them tell us how to solve the problem. If anyone doesn't obey, we throw them in prison, and if they resist that, we shoot them."

"Scientist, do you have anything to offer besides maybes and buts? We ask you a simple question, and all you offer are theories. And maybe private courts will work this way. You don't have a solid answer to the simple question of property disputes. Property disputes—this is level one stuff, scientist! Why can't you be more like the Storyteller? See, give a bunch of people a bunch of guns. That is a sensible solution to our problem."

"Wow, just wow."

"Scientist is [ __ ] talk as usual. Oh look, the state is collapsing! Now we can finally see this anarchy in action. The state controls all the roads and forces people to pay for them. What, with no state, these roads all go to hell. The state violently forced people who hated each other's guts to live together so they could collect taxes from both groups. What now? With no state, these groups are fighting each other. The state managed courts and dispute settlement and violently prohibited any competition. They violently prohibited any private courts. What now? There is no mechanism for dispute resolution! That's it! The chaos that comes from a collapsed state is proof that you need a state, because when a state monopolizes something, then it collapses! That thing that it monopolized is no longer provided. That's all the evidence that I need that we need a state!"

"What? No! These people had no time to prepare for anarchy! To say anarchy can't work because a collapsed state is chaotic is like saying humans can't farm because a janitor stranded in a field doesn't know how to farm. In fact, the chaos in a collapsed state is caused by the state having violently prevented anyone else from doing those things. So when the state collapses, those things can no longer be done. I believed in you, man, and now look what happened! The state collapsed, and it's just terrible! We'll be sure to never let people interact without violent coercion again. Come on, let's sacrifice a goat! I mean, go vote. You know, like actually do something that'll work."