HOW TO UNDERSTAND YOURSELF | MARCUS AURELIUS | STOICISM

The Stoic Greeks had the maxim, know thyself. How do we in this digital age come to know ourselves in terms of our personalities and, more importantly, our potential? In this video, you will learn eight transformative Stoic techniques to really know yourself. Utilize this chance to explore your mind's infinite potential. If you are on a journey towards personal growth and deep self-discovery, stick with us until the end. Let us start our journey to becoming more self-aware.

One, watch yourself like you're watching a stranger. Have you ever wondered how differently we might behave if we stepped outside ourselves and observed our actions and reactions as if we were someone else? This idea lies at the heart of a powerful Stoic technique: observing oneself with the detached curiosity of a stranger. We're often tangled in our web of emotions and biases, leading to a clouded view of who we are. Let's break it down. Imagine you're watching a movie where you are the main character. How would you critique the actions and choices of this character? This shift in perspective allows you to see yourself more objectively, helping you identify habits and reactions that might not align with who you want to be. This isn't about self-criticism but about gaining clarity. When you watch a stranger, you don't have the emotional baggage that comes with self-observation. You see their actions, good or bad, for what they are. This is what we're aiming for: a clear, unbiased view of ourselves.

The Stoics teach us to observe without judgment, like a scientist watching an experiment. When you feel anger rising, step back. Ask yourself, "Why am I angry?" Watch your emotions as if they aren't yours. This practice brings surprising clarity. Instead of being swept away by emotions, you start understanding their roots. It's not about suppressing feelings, but understanding them from a distance. This perspective is critical in a world where emotions can be as fleeting as social media trends, yet as impactful as real-life decisions. This shift in perspective isn't easy, but it's powerful. Remember this Stoic wisdom by Seneca: we suffer more often in our imagination than in reality. By observing yourself objectively, you reduce unnecessary suffering caused by misconceptions and overreactions, leading to a more peaceful and authentic life.

2. Accept yourself completely. The good, bad, and ugly. You know how, when you look in the mirror, you sometimes focus only on the flaws? It's easy to do that with our personalities, fixating on our mistakes or the parts of us we don't like. This constant self-criticism creates an inner narrative that's far from kind. But here's the thing: true growth starts with accepting every part of yourself, the good, the bad, and yes, even the ugly. It's about acknowledging your whole self without denial or overemphasizing the negatives. Stoicism isn't about just seeing the bright side; it's about seeing the real side. It teaches us to embrace our entire being.

When you accept yourself, flaws and all, you're not giving up on improvement. You're starting from a place of honesty. The power to change comes with honesty. As Marcus Aurelius wisely said, "Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom destiny brings you together, but do so with all your heart." This acceptance is the foundation of real transformation. Try this: write down your strengths and weaknesses. Don't shy away from the truths you're uncomfortable with. Now look at this list as a map, not as a judgment. Your strengths are your tools, and your weaknesses are opportunities for growth. Instead of beating yourself up over the ugly parts, ask yourself, "How can I grow here?" Self-acceptance doesn't mean stagnation. It means empowering yourself to evolve from a place of understanding and compassion. Remember, every part of you has a role in your journey. By embracing every aspect of who you are, you set the stage for genuine self-improvement. It's not about becoming someone else. It's about being the best version of you.

3. Challenge yourself constantly, but start small. Just as we talked about embracing every aspect of ourselves, there's another step that's just as important: challenging yourself. Yes, accepting yourself is vital, but growth happens when you step out of your comfort zone. It's like a muscle that needs both rest and exercise. You've accepted yourself. Now show what you can become. Stoicism teaches us the value of continuous self-improvement, but here's the key: start small. Big leaps can be overwhelming and often lead to setbacks. It's like trying to climb a mountain with one giant step. Instead, take it one small hike at a time.

Epictetus asserted that great things do not emerge overnight. Apply this knowledge by setting small, attainable goals. Want to be more patient? Try holding back a quick reply in your next conversation. Aspire to be more fit? Start with a short daily walk, not a marathon. Here's something you can do today: identify one small thing you've been avoiding or wanting to improve. Create a plan to tackle it in the simplest, smallest way possible. If it's reading more, start with a page a night. If you're speaking more confidently, practice with a close friend or in front of a mirror. Celebrate these tiny victories. They may seem small, but they're the stepping stones to greater achievements. Your potential is like a dormant seed waiting for the steady water of effort and the nourishment of persistence to grow into something extraordinary. Remember, every big journey starts with a small step. By challenging yourself in bite-sized pieces, you're not only building your abilities but also your confidence.

4. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today. Have you ever caught yourself scrolling through social media, feeling a bit down because everyone else seems to be doing better? It's simple to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others. However, only your yesterday self is a fair comparison. This goes beyond feeling better. It's about valuing your journey and growth. Just like we talked about making small, incremental changes, this technique is about measuring those changes. Instead of looking at others and feeling behind, turn your gaze inward. How have you grown since yesterday? Maybe you're a bit more patient, a tad more knowledgeable, or just a little stronger.

Marcus Aurelius once said, "You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength." Apply this by focusing on your progress, not others' paths. Here is an action you can take: every night, spend a few minutes reflecting on your day. What did you do better today than yesterday? It could be anything. Maybe you listened more closely in a conversation, or you chose a healthier meal. These aren't just achievements; they're evidence of your ongoing evolution. Document these, maybe in a journal or a note on your phone. Over time, this record will become a powerful reminder of how far you've come, step by step. By focusing on your own growth rather than comparing yourself with others, you free yourself from unrealistic and unhelpful standards. You start to appreciate your unique journey, recognizing that each day brings you closer to the person you aspire to be.

5. Take responsibility for yourself. There's a powerful shift that happens when you start taking full responsibility for your actions, your thoughts, and your life. It's like grabbing the steering wheel of a car that's been aimlessly drifting. Sometimes we blame circumstances, other people, or luck for where we are. However, taking charge of our responses and decisions helps us steer our lives in the right direction. Shifting our focus from comparing ourselves with others to reflecting on our personal progress naturally leads us to this next step: owning our journey. It's about saying, "This is my path, and I'm responsible for walking it."

Epictetus wisely stated that we cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them. When you embrace this, you empower yourself to respond to life's challenges with maturity and wisdom. Start by identifying areas in your life where you've been placing blame elsewhere. It might be in your relationships or your personal goals. Now ask yourself, "How can I take more responsibility in these areas?" Not being harsh on yourself, recognizing your power to change things. For instance, if a project at work isn't going well, instead of blaming the team, consider what you can do differently to improve the situation. You gain respect and trust from others while growing personally. The sense of control and self-respect that you gain by taking responsibility for your life is profound and transformative. You begin to view challenges as opportunities to learn and grow. The next technique builds on this, taking us deeper into the art of living a Stoic life of self-discovery.

6. Choose your influence wisely. Every day, whether we realize it or not, we're influenced by the people, media, and environment around us. It's like the air we breathe—sometimes refreshing, other times polluted. These influences can shape our thoughts, actions, and ultimately our lives. The problem arises when negative or toxic influences start steering us away from who we truly are or want to be. Recognizing and choosing these wisely is crucial for our growth and well-being. As we embrace taking responsibility for our lives, as discussed earlier, part of this empowerment is choosing who and what we allow to influence us.

Seneca once said, "Associate with people who are likely to improve you." Surrounding yourself with positive, supportive, and inspiring people can propel you forward. Similarly, choosing media that uplifts and educates rather than degrades and distracts is vital in your journey of self-improvement. Start by evaluating your current circle of influence. Are there people who consistently drain your energy or lower your aspirations? It might be time to reassess these relationships. In the same vein, consider the media you consume. Does it enrich or clutter your mind? Actively seek out individuals and resources that align with your values and goals. Whether it's books, podcasts, or conversations, ensure they contribute positively to your growth. Remember, it's not about cutting people off, but about intentionally cultivating an environment that supports your journey.

7. Say yes to only what matters. Our time, energy, and attention are among the most valuable things we have. Yet how often do we find ourselves saying yes to things that don't truly matter? Overcommitting or getting caught up in trivial matters can lead us away from our true goals and passions. The art of saying yes only to what aligns with our values and aspirations is a powerful skill to develop. Reflecting on our last discussion about choosing influences wisely, this principle extends to our decisions and commitments. It's about aligning our actions with our values.

As Marcus Aurelius reminds us, "It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live." Living truly means making choices that resonate with who we are and what we want to achieve, not just filling our time with busyness. Start by assessing how you currently spend your time. Look at your daily activities and ask yourself, "Does this add value to my life? Does it align with my goals?" If the answer is no, it's time to reconsider that commitment. This doesn't mean you should never help others or engage in leisure. It's about balance and intentionality. For example, before taking on a new project or attending an event, weigh its importance against your personal and professional goals. Will it bring you closer to where you want to be? Alternatively, politely decline and focus on what matters. Saying yes only to what's truly important helps you live a more focused and fulfilling life. It's about choosing quality over quantity in every aspect of your existence.

In the next technique, we'll explore another Stoic technique that will help you maintain this focus and live in accordance with your true self. Stay tuned.

8. Make others better. One of the most rewarding experiences in life. Often we get so focused on our personal development that we overlook the profound impact we can have on those around us. True growth is how we improve ourselves and uplift others. It's about creating a positive ripple effect that extends beyond our individual lives. As we've explored, focusing on what truly matters includes the relationships we nurture and the influence we have on people. Seneca beautifully stated, "Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness." This is about extending the wisdom and strength we've gained to others. It's not just about self-improvement; it's about community improvement.

Start by being a positive presence in the lives of those around you. It could be as simple as offering a listening ear, sharing insights from your own experiences, or encouraging someone who's facing challenges. You could volunteer your time, mentor someone, or just make it a point to spread kindness and understanding. Remember, it's not about grand gestures. Even small acts of support can have a significant impact. By helping others, we not only make their lives better, but we also reinforce our own growth and find a deeper sense of fulfillment. In this journey of self-discovery and Stoic practice, remember that your growth is a beacon that can light the way for others.

Bonus tip: start a daily journaling habit. This is a bonus tip for those who've journeyed with us this far. Did you know that Marcus Aurelius, one of the most revered Stoic philosophers, essentially wrote a journal? His famous work, Meditations, was never meant for publication. It was his personal reflections and his way of practicing Stoicism every day. This highlights the power of journaling as a tool for self-discovery and personal growth. Each step we've explored, from observing ourselves objectively to making others better, can be deepened through journaling. It's a space where you can converse with yourself, ask questions, and reflect on your daily experiences.

You don't need fancy notebooks or eloquent words. Just start with your thoughts and feelings, raw and unfiltered. As you write, you'll find clarity and insights that were previously hidden in the hustle of daily life. Remember what Seneca said: "True happiness is to enjoy the present without anxious dependence upon the future." Journaling brings you into the present, allowing you to appreciate your journey, learn from it, and plan your future with intention. Which of the Stoic techniques appeals to you the most? Drop your thoughts in the comments. Today's discussion is a small part of our larger journey of learning. If personal development and self-discovery excite you, signify in the comments by writing, "I'm in search of wisdom." Let's continue to explore and embrace the teachings of Stoic philosophy together.