shower thoughts that actually make sense..

Somewhere on Earth, in a random corner of the world—well, actually, the Earth is round, so there aren't really corners—but in a random corner of the world, there's a worm. Just a single worm, and he holds the world record for digging deeper into the Earth than any other worm that has ever lived. And to him, I say congratulations!

Now, when I'm not sitting in my room thinking about worms, I'm trying to save the world for what it could be, not what it is at the moment. But a lot of times, I realize—wait, I can't see! Where are my glasses? And, you know, for those of us out there who wear glasses, we're actually blessed. I hate cleaning my glasses, but the amount of dirt and smudges that end up on them is literally a visual representation of what could have ended up in your eye.

So, our eyes may not work properly, but at least they're clean, right? And, you know, speaking of our body, there's a lot going on that we just don't really realize. Like, for example, your body is constantly 3D printing your hair 24/7, 365. And now, because of quarantine, the average hair length across the world's population is slowly increasing, day by day—unless you're bald, and well, I'm sorry for that.

And like, you know, your nose—sneezing can get pretty frustrating. You get right to the edge, and it's just gone. By the way, the next time that happens to you, just stare into the light. No, not that one—really anything but that. Sneezing is just really weird. Other than the nasty gunk that flies out of your nose, it also seems to defy the laws of physics. Why are our heads propelled forward when we sneeze instead of backwards? You'd imagine that they work like thrusters, but they just don't!

Anyways, back to physics! It's kind of mind-blowing that nowadays, it's much easier for humans to leave our planet to go to outer space than it is to reach the deepest place on Earth, the Mariana Trench. If the ocean was crystal clear, people with a fear of heights would never board a cruise ship, because it's pretty much the same thing, right? But you don't have to leave Earth to have a good time. If you happen to live in a so-called third world country, just know that that term doesn't really make much sense. We're all on Earth, the third planet or world from the sun, so doesn't that make every country on Earth a third world country?

Earth is pretty rare, though, for many reasons. For one, life—we may not be the only ones, but from how it's looking right now, we're the only ones around here, at least. We see diamonds as precious and valuable jewelry, but things like amber are far rarer than any diamond you could find. Amber is made from trees, and trees are living, breathing things—something that, at least as far as we've looked, we can't find elsewhere. However, there are literally planets where it rains diamonds on a galactic scale! The very things that we see as valuable and exquisite are quite common, but things that we overlook daily are much, much rarer than you actually think.

You get about 80 years on this planet, and depending on where you live and the life you lead, that number may vary. In a way, the average life expectancy and average Wi-Fi speed are directly correlated, if you think about it. But imagine if, when your time comes and life slowly fades away, a question pops up giving you two options: one, respond into a new life with no memories; or two, respond into a new life with memories. If you choose option two, perhaps déjà vu and that gut feeling you get come from these past memories of your past lives.

Maybe something I think about a lot is the fact that when the first human came into existence and made its way to the land, that we will never know if, when it looked up into the sky, did it see the sun or the moon first? You know, something interesting is that when you look at the moonlight reflecting off the water, you're seeing light from plasma reflected off a solid that was then refracted by a gas and then ultimately reflected by a liquid. All forms of matter coming together, and you probably haven't even thought about it before. It's kind of cool!

Speaking of liquids, it's odd how humans sweat when they're hot, but objects like your cup sweat when they're cold. And now that I think about it, the first humans to ever see a total solar eclipse probably thought the world was ending. And then, like 20 minutes later when it went away, probably experienced the most relieving feeling anyone has ever felt.

Speaking of the end of the world, there have been plenty of extinction-level events throughout Earth's history. They've all killed anywhere from 50 to 90% of all living things. Imagine all the foods, fruits, and other things that were completely wiped out of existence! It doesn't matter, because we could just look at it. Though your tongue somehow knows exactly how everything you look at will feel, and also, you don't really fully understand how strong you chew until you accidentally bite your cheek.

Do we really need to chew that hard? Or next? But who knows when that'll happen, right? Humans are pretty impressive; we've done a lot. Not all of it was good, but hey, we're learning. Every single cell in your entire body knows how to replicate DNA, but you, as a conscious human, well, you have absolutely no idea, do you? We're actually pretty dumb. You can see it daily! We're so slow that we had to make an undo button for the undo button.

We're spending billions upon billions of dollars to develop artificial intelligence in computers, because, well, we can't develop enough intelligence in ourselves. We make mistakes. We're pretty brutal, too. We enjoyed the idea of punching so much that we turned it into a sport, and it's not even who can punch the most or the hardest. The weird thing is that the less punching you do, the better you are at the sport. It's like golf, except the ball is the other person's face!

Now that I think about it, we should make a show where pro athletes fight convicted felons. We could call it "Pros vs. Cons." We kind of invented time, though, so props to us on that one! But dogs—dogs are a different breed, literally. Dogs can understand human language pretty well, if you think about it, but we can't even understand what a single bark means. Maybe they have better language skills than we do.

They probably think we're hypocrites, too. We scold them for going to the bathroom in the house, but they've probably seen us do the same exact thing hundreds of times. You know what's funny? It's more socially acceptable to dislike children than it is to just like dogs. I hate children. Sorry! Dogs are cool, but I hate mosquitoes. The degree to which one hates mosquitoes is in direct proportion to how much mosquitoes love them. It's a love-hate relationship!

A lot of times, you just immediately smack them and, well, end their life. They're pretty brave creatures for only having one HP, but if you really think about it, you're only killing the slowest and smallest ones, meaning you're leaving only the biggest, fastest, and best mosquitoes alive to breed and make even bigger mosquitoes. You can't win!

But on the topic of death, as usual, I've been thinking about it recently. If somehow we managed to cure aging and all diseases known to man, that means the only way we could die would be from horrible and gruesome deaths. If you Google a question, and the person who posted the answer to it has died, Google basically functioned as a Ouija board, didn't it? And you know, most of us spend a good bit of time in cemeteries in our lives. It sucks, but you essentially keep visiting cemeteries until you stay there permanently.

They're full of various kinds of people from all around the world—doctors, lawyers, engineers, war heroes, people from every corner of the planet. But speaking of war heroes, most people who participate in wars don't really get to find out if they won, do they? There are heroes in every aspect of life, but the most impressive ones I find are people who take naps. It takes real courage to wake up twice in one day, as if once wasn't hard enough!

You're a different person to everyone you meet. You're the hero, the villain, the sidekick, and even the extra in other people's life stories. But don't think about it too much; it changes a lot when you meet people from your past. They remember a version of you that probably no longer exists. And if it's been more than about seven years, you are literally fundamentally an entirely different person. Every cell in your body has been replaced with a new one. So, if people keep telling you you have changed, well, you have! Just own it.

But hey, pretty much everyone in 2015 who was asked, "Where do you see yourself in five years?" probably got that question extremely wrong. That's just how the world works! But, you know, I actually hate that phrase. The same people who respond with "that's how the world works" when told to be nice or something are the exact reason why that's not how the world works.

A lot of the world's problems exist simply because there's just too many of us, and we're stubborn. We don't like change. Quick question: do you think babies know that dreams are real? Because if not, they must think they go on the most insane adventures every day. Maybe that's why they cry when they wake up— their brain just made up stories that aren't real. But they get scared of them because they don't know any better!

I guess it's better to wake up from a bad dream and realize it was all in your head, as opposed to waking up from a good dream and realizing that none of it happened. Speaking of babies, though, it's okay—they can't even count. They're just dumb sacks of meat! But there reaches a certain point in everyone's life where "how high can you count?" changes from a matter of knowledge to a matter of sheer willpower.

A lot of things change as you get older. As a child, you're amazed by some of the things that adults are able to do, but once you're actually an adult, it becomes very clear that most adults are unable to do some of the simplest tasks. In fact, the information age—the age of the internet—has produced the first generation of grandparents who are not by default the most knowledgeable and well-informed people in any room they enter.

As we get older, the younger are getting smarter and smarter. But it doesn't really seem like it, does it? We all share the same birthdays and birth years as other people, but as time goes on, as they slowly die, you get closer and closer to being the last one alive. It makes you wonder who the last person born in the 1900s will be and where we'll be when that day comes. In fact, if you're under the age of 40, the oldest living person on the planet has been asleep for more years than you've been alive!

But just like time, years are man-made. Like, if somehow we all came to a consensus and agreed, we could live in the year 3000 starting tomorrow. And you know, maybe that's what we need. 2020 has been rough on everyone, and in some places, it's not really getting any better. It's crazy! I live in an apartment, and I'm at the point where I know my neighbors more than I'd like to.

I can hear them waking up. I know what time they do their dishes. I know what time they wash their clothes. It's creepy! I feel like a stalker. I swear I'm not! But on the internet, that's not always the case. There's a lot of information you can find on someone with honestly just a few clicks. Someone's IP address can give you their location, and it's getting a lot easier to track down anybody in the world.

You see all the time where your favorite creators end up having crazy fans show up at their doorstep, and this happens a lot more than you think! With ExpressVPN, everything changes. ExpressVPN hosts a virtual private network, which essentially masks your identity while online. This is something I would recommend everyone try out—not because everyone has to worry about stalkers, but because its benefits extend far beyond that.

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I've personally been using it for the past month, and I've enjoyed it much more than other VPN software I've used in the past. If you're interested, click the link at the top of the description and check out ExpressVPN. You'll get three months free on me. So, stay safe! You'll thank yourself later. [Music]