I'm quitting my med school

I'm quitting from my med school. If you have been following this channel for a while, and if you have ever watched my med school vlogs, you might think that, "Oh, I knew that because this girl was so unmotivated to go to med school." She was doing all of the things outside of med school, like traveling, eating a lot of food, and she wasn't really talking about the lectures. You might think, "Oh, here we go." The reality is, I'm not quitting medicine; I'm quitting my med school. So there is a difference between them. I'm not an Ali Adult, too, okay? I respect Ellie, but I don't think that it's something that I would do. I wouldn't drop off my med school or anything.

But in order to explain why I'm quitting my med school and what I'm gonna do with my life, we need to firstly talk about why I took a break from med school in the first place. You might know this, but last year, when I started my channel, I was taking a break from med school, and I never explained why I was taking a break. So there were two main reasons. The first one is that I always wanted to study abroad. During the time that I was taking a break from med school, I was preparing myself for medical school admission tests of Italy.

If you watch these vlogs, you probably see me studying biology, chemistry, physics, and maths, and like different various topics of the exam. But because of COVID and also because of some personal reasons, I didn't/couldn't go to Italy and take the exam. So because I didn't take the exam, of course, I didn't enroll into the med school that I wanted to. I also applied for German med schools; my NC score was 1.2. In order to get into medical schools, you need to have 1.0 to 1.1 sometimes. Sometimes, people get in with 1.2, but I couldn't get in. So my plan was to prepare myself during that time to study abroad, but it didn't happen.

I started my Turkish uni, and I was going there. The second reason why I was taking a break was because I’ve covered. Because of COVID, the education was online, and I actually tried for a month to attend the lectures online, but it was so bad. Firstly, because of the time difference, you know, I was in Japan, and the lectures were held in Turkey. The recording was really bad; the sound quality was really bad; the connection was really bad, and professors weren't prepared at all. So, I thought, "I cannot do this. I cannot do this for a full year. I don't want to have my education in this situation, in this quality."

So I took a break. While you’re in my uni, my Turkish uni gave everybody the permission to take a break from med school. You know, if you have any problems or if you don't like the education online, you could take a break, so I did that. I also had some family issues that have been going around health-wise, so I needed to stay in Japan. That was also another major reason why I was so often in Japan in the last year. Health is really important, and you know I had some family health problems. Because of some family health problems, I was in Japan for a very long period of time, but I'm not going to talk about that because when I talk about something related to my family, I think I'm not respecting their privacy.

So, I cannot really talk about that much, and I wouldn't be really comfortable talking about someone else's privacy. So, we're gonna skip that part. So, yeah, basically, last year I was preparing myself for an exam, but I couldn't take that exam. So that was a little bit of strategy for me because you prepare yourself mentally, all of your vision and stuff for that, but then you can't do that, you know what I mean? It was really tough for me.

Then you might think, "Why are you quitting med school in the middle of the year?" If you watch my previous vlog, my Italy vlog, you know that I went for an exam. So, I didn't know that there was an exam at this time of the year. I learned it a couple of weeks ago, and I decided to take the exam. I took the exam, and I got in. You know, it's a private uni so it's much easier to get into public uni, but I scored second highest out of 250ish people, which is pretty impressive. I mean, I was pretty impressed.

The test itself was pretty easy, not gonna lie; it was about biology, chemistry, physics, a little bit of general culture, and I think logical reasoning. Also, in Italian med schools, it's really easy to get in, but really hard to graduate. I have a lot of friends who are studying in Italy, so all what they're saying is that. So basically, I took the exam, and I got in. I don't know when I'm gonna start, but I'm gonna start from the middle of the year. I think I'm gonna start med school in Rome either this month or next month. I have no information available at this moment, so I'm waiting for the uni's response.

But I'll study; I’ll continue studying medicine in Italy in Rome. I don't know if I was able to transfer from my Turkish uni to Italian unis, but I took the exam, and but you know, I'm literally starting from scratch. I mean, I'm gonna jump in in the middle of the year, but that something happens in Italy, and that's nice.

So, the reason why I want to study abroad, let's talk about this. The reason why I want to study abroad, which abroad means not Turkey, not Japan in my case, is that when I did my exchange year in Germany when I was in high school, I really loved the environment. I really loved the diversity of culture, the ways of thinking, the language, and everything. It really, really, really helped me grow as a person. It really changed my mind, how I think, how I do things, and that was probably one of the best years I have ever had in my life.

On this channel, too, I really want to globalize, and I like diversity. I like different ways of thinking. I like to learn; I like to get out of my comfort zone. I always wanted to live in a country that is neither Turkey nor Japan. I think it's a really, really great opportunity to expand my vision and explore new things.

You might think, "You know, you were born in Japan, but you grew up in Turkey, so you could study in Japan too." The truth is, yes, since I studied every single thing in Turkey, I could get into Japan, you know, medical schools much easier than a normal Japanese citizen because I wouldn't need to take the national exam. So I only need to take the SAT and a couple of tests.

But the thing with the Japanese education system is that, firstly, it's expensive, but it's actually another big problem. The second one is, the Japanese medical system is really different from what I would want from a medical system. What do I mean by that? So, the Japanese medical system is really different from the rest of the world, and the university is not diverse. So, the majority of the people are from Japan, and probably like 99% or something in medical schools; it's really hard for foreigners to get into Japanese medical schools.

Also, after graduating from Japanese medical school, it is possible, of course, to work abroad, but it's really hard, as I heard from my relatives and stuff. Since I wanted to experience diversity, different cultures, and different languages, Japan wouldn't be my choice because, you know, I know Japan. I know the language; I know the people; I know the culture really well. So why would I go there if I want diversity?

So that's the reason. I mean, I like Japan—no offense—but you know, my expectations from a med school and their med school system are really different from each other. I don't think like a typical Japanese person. Even a lot of Turkish people think that I'm a typical Japanese. I'm not at all. You know, Japanese people are pretty conservative in their own way, and Turkish people are really conservative in their own way, but I'm not conservative at all; I'm pretty liberal.

So, you know, let's talk about the rich parents factor. Because I'm gonna study in a private uni, a lot of people think that oh, it's because you have rich parents. It's nice to have a rich parent because it's easier to get into private unis, and oh, if I had rich parents, I would go there too. Girl, I'm gonna pay all of the tuition fee by my own, also the rent, also the living costs by my own. My family might help with the rent. I'm currently able to afford all of them by myself, with this channel, with the amount of money that I make by my own.

You know, I'm literally gonna pay my own tuition fee. It's not about rich parents. When I went to Italy last time for an exam, I paid for my flight tickets, I paid for my hotels, I paid for every single thing that I got. I even got like presents for my family. I paid all of them. My mom gave me pocket money, which I ate dinner for that, but except that—thank you, thank you Mom, thank you Son—except that, I paid all of them by my own. Yes, my grandparents really helped me about my education, and they really support us financially, that's true, but I'm gonna pay all of education fees by my own. Girl, I'm independent.

So yeah, but the thing is, it's gonna be challenging, not gonna lie. Because, you know, currently in Turkey, the currency is Turkish Lira, so it's obviously easier for me to live in Turkey. But if I move to Italy, the currency is gonna be Euros. So everything is going to be expensive. Actually, half of the things are not that expensive because, you know, import taxes and stuff are pretty expensive in Turkey, and I buy a lot of imported things anyways.

It's gonna challenge me, but I always set myself challenges, and why I do it to myself, I don't know. I'm gonna support myself financially, and in order to do that, I really have to work hard on this channel, harder than I worked before, but it's fun, though. I like this channel.

So the next thing, my future plans. I don't know about continuing in private uni. I might transfer to a public uni in my second or in my third year in Italy. I might do that, and I'm thinking about doing an Erasmus, Erasmus Plus, with Germany, preferably in Berlin, so that I can visit my host parents. I have a lot of friends in Berlin, so it would be nice. It would be nice, but it doesn't matter. To be honest, the reason why I want to do an Erasmus in Germany is that firstly it's the language. I mean, I learned German every single day; I'm crying. So I really, really want to use that language, and I feel like it's going to be a pretty, pretty interesting experience on my side.

Another future plan is: where are you going to live? I don't know. I don't know where I'm gonna live in the future. I might live in Europe—very high possibility. If I graduate from Italy in uni, which is my current plan, it would be easier for me to work in Europe. But I don't know, I might crave Asia and I might move to Asia somewhere like Singapore and stuff. I might do that. I expect everything at this moment for myself. So I might do that, but I'm not really sure. But my current plan is to stay in Italy, do an Erasmus with Germany. I might work in Germany, I might work in Italy, I might work in Singapore, I might even move to the U.S., who knows?

So, I actually got a question from Instagram before asking, "Is it a betrayal for the country?" I couldn't understand the question, "Why would it be a betrayal for the country?" I don't really like strong nationalism, to be honest, because, I mean, if you like it, no offense, but for me personally, I never associated myself with an ethnicity or with a country. To be honest, a lot of people think that I'm really tied to Japanese and like fully Japanese and stuff, but girl, no. When I go to Japan, people realize the way that I think is really different from what they think and what they believe.

Also, from my face, you can tell that I'm not Japanese. Like, from Japanese people, I don't look fully Japanese, and from Turkish people, I'm like Japanese as hell. So, first, you can tell from my outer looking, and secondly when we talk, you can clearly see that the way that I think is really different from Japanese people. Yes, there are some parts that are really Japanese in my thinking, but generally, the way that I think is totally different from Japan and also totally different from Turkey.

I never felt like, you know, in a country that I'm at home, or like, you know, I never said, "Oh, it's so comfortable here" or something because my opinions were always different from the people that I was surrounded with. I'm not talking about my mixed friends because, you know, with my mixed friends, we can really understand each other's struggles and stuff. But, no, you know, just because I was born in Japan and I grew up in Turkey, I don't owe anything to either of these countries. So just because I'm gonna study abroad, why would it be a betrayal to that country?

Whether you like it or not, you're gonna represent your country in your own way, and if you would give good impressions to people, people might like that country. I actually heard that quite a lot; you know, after getting to know me, people change their opinions about both countries because they realize that I'm really different from their expectations. So no, I don't think that's a betrayal for the country. Do whatever makes you happy; you don't owe anything to anybody.

My future plans about YouTube. So when it comes to YouTube, I'm thinking about doing it more consistently, because when I was in Turkey, you know, currently when I was studying in my med school, I knew that I'm going to study abroad. So I wasn't really motivated to study in my Turkish medical because why would I try so hard to score high and, you know, pass all of the classes, even though I know that I'm gonna leave this school? So I wasn't really motivated, and there was no reason for me to study that hard. Yes, I was scoring enough so that I can pass all of the classes, but I wasn't aiming for the best.

I was kind of like in a transition phase that I didn't know what to do. Now since I'm gonna move to Italy, I'm gonna start my new life; I'm gonna set everything from scratch, which is good. Which is good, and I'm thinking about filming this experience, you know, living abroad alone by your own at the age of 20s. I think it's something really cool; I'm gonna support myself financially. What a move! I'm proud of myself; you should be proud of yourself too.

I'm thinking about doing these videos more consistently, preferably two to three times a week because I'm gonna hire an editor, and we're gonna do more like professional stuff. I have a lot of plans about YouTube. If I wouldn't have YouTube, I cannot pay my tuition fees, so I need that. You know, I always see YouTube as a business opportunity. When I say I'm going to pay my tuition fee by my own, people cannot believe it, and the fact that they cannot believe it makes me wonder because it means that they still couldn't recognize that YouTube is such a big business platform.

When it comes to YouTube in terms of business, you can expand your audience. When you're gonna start as some sort of business, it's always easier for you when you have an audience that loves and craves what you create. When you produce some sort of product, there are people that gonna buy them anyways. We're gonna talk about this in another video, but you know, YouTube is a huge business platform, and I always consider this channel as a business platform; therefore, I'm making money out of it, and from that money, I'm doing my own thing.

Long story short, two to three times a week. Tossing. Let's talk about learning Italian. Since I'm moving to Italy, my med school is in English. You know, the course itself is completely held in English, but when it comes to clinical years, of course, the patients probably don't know English, so I need to learn Italian in three years. Since I've been giving a lot of tips about learning languages, I think it's going to be really, really fun if I would learn a language from scratch because in Italian, when it comes to Italian, I only know a couple of words. Ciao! That's it. That's it; these are the four words that I know, so that is my all Italian knowledge.

I think it's gonna be really, really, really fun learning Italian from scratch and, you know, seeing that improvement from time to time. New contents are coming. How am I feeling? Not gonna lie, I'm feeling kind of scared at the same time, really excited, you know, because I know the feeling from the exchanges I did in high school. But the difference between them is, I am not going there temporarily; I'm literally moving to a different country and starting my new life. It's really scary, to be honest, because I'm not gonna have any of my family, any of my family members, anybody else who can help me during that time.

I don't know the language, and since I'm also going to move all of my, you know, bank accounts and stuff to Italy because I'm gonna be a resident in Italy, I have to learn about taxes and laws and everything, accounting and stuff in Italy too. It's gonna be really tough; I don't think that it's gonna be easy. It's gonna be really, really tough. I know that, like from my mom, she literally moved from Japan to Turkey after marrying my dad. So, I know the difficulties, and I know the things that I'm gonna face, probably, so I'm scared. I'm scared, not gonna lie; but at the same time, I'm really excited because I know that it's gonna grow me as a person so much, and I think I'm gonna gain a lot of new perspectives.

That's how I want to shape my life, and I'm gonna shape my life in that way. Let's talk about how my family is feeling. So, you know, from high school, I think from like at the age of 15 or something, I was always telling my parents that I want to live abroad, study abroad, go to different countries, and you know not stay in Turkey nor Japan. That was my goal from high school, so they always knew the plan, and I never changed the plan because it was always the same. I always changed the countries and stuff, but I never changed the big picture.

So, my mother always supported that because she knows that I like to, you know, communicate with different people, learn new languages, explore new cultures, and do the things that are outside of my comfort zone. That is something that I always enjoyed as a kid, because in that way, you can learn more things. The more you challenge your comfort zone, the more it becomes bigger and bigger, and I feel like there is no right nor wrong in this world. There are the social values that you have that you build from your childhood, and I like to challenge them.

So my mom always supported me in that, and it wouldn't be a problem for her because, you know, we have Japanese past. So whenever she wants to visit me, she doesn't need any visa. She can visit me as well as my brother. You know, he's working currently six times a week, so it might challenge his schedule, but if he really, really wants, he can do that. But when it comes to my dad, my dad is devastated. My dad is currently in depression because he never thought that I could get in.

Like why? Because, you know, in my mind, no matter if it's gonna take one year, three years, five years, I don't know, maybe ten years—I will follow my dreams, and I will go abroad, and I will study there. That was my plan; I was always telling him, but he couldn't believe that. So he was, like, really pretty chill, and since he has a Turkish passport, visiting me is not that easy because he needs visas in order to enter Italy to visit me. So, he's currently in depression because he is gonna miss me quite a lot. I'm a dad's girl, so I understand him.

But at the same time, I'm gonna follow my dreams. Sorry. But yeah, you know, I can visit my family whenever I want to because luckily I earn my own money, so I can easily buy a flight ticket. And secondly, I have a Japanese passport, so I can visit my family whenever I want to. So that's a good thing.

And now lastly, let's talk about how it's going to change this channel. Obviously, this channel is going to change. I knew that I'm not going to stay here, but I needed to make sure that I studied but at the same time managed YouTube and stuff. There was a lot of stress going around me, but since now I’m going to build my life from scratch in a country that I never lived before, and I don't have anybody that I know, it's gonna be tough. But I'm thinking about filming every single experience that I'm gonna have in Italy, like you know, in a language-wise and cultural-wise and medical-wise.

I think it's going to be really, really, really fun. I, of course, need to hustle a bit; that's the reality. If you want to do med school and YouTube at the same time and maintain a healthy lifestyle and social life, I'm sorry, but you need to hustle a bit more than anybody else around you. I need to do that. You might say, "Oh, take a break from YouTube." Girl, YouTube is a huge business platform. I would never ever take a break from YouTube, and also I wouldn't be able to pay my tuition fees without YouTube, so excuse me.

Even a lot of people think that I'm a workaholic or, you know, a work robot or something. I like going to parties, enjoying with my friends, going to nice dinners, and stuff, as much as I love working. I like working, not gonna lie; you know, I make my own money. It gives me financial freedom, and it's an awesome thing. But at the same time, I like partying, I like going out with my friends, I like to eat outside, I like to explore new countries and stuff.

My motto when it comes to life is: work hard, play hard. I'm gonna achieve all of these aspects in my life. If you have watched, "I'm gonna, I decided to change my life," you probably know that I was pretty stuck in my life, but I finally feel the energy to get out of this. So stay tuned; I'm going to transform this channel into something much better than this, and I feel like I'm being more and more and more and more comfortable with this channel.

I don't think that I showed really my personality on this channel because my family watches these videos. But yeah, stay tuned for new videos. Thank you for listening to my life update. I don't know who cares about this, but I'm making this video anyways. Let me give you some kisses.