The Benefits of Ignoring People
The Book of Genesis recounts how Noah, following God’s orders, built an ark to survive a global flood, a task he was determined to complete. But people met him with ridicule when carrying out his task, as they found it hard to believe such an event could happen. Their response wasn’t surprising, as corruption and moral degradation reigned supreme in Noah’s environment. But despite the ridicule, he continued carrying out his divine task, following the instructions as provided by God.
When the flood came, Noah finished the Ark and managed to save all the species aboard. This story shows how ignoring the widespread disbelief and mockery aimed at him allowed Noah to complete his mission. The idea of ‘ignoring people’ has a negative connotation. We may think about purposefully ignoring someone out of a sense of superiority or not replying to text messages as a form of manipulation. We generally see the act of ‘ignoring people’ as rude.
But is everyone entitled to our attention? Does that mean we are obligated to respond just because someone wants to communicate with us? Sometimes, by ignoring people, we do ourselves a great favor. Moreover, I’d say that ignoring people from time to time is necessary to keep our sanity in a world that constantly tries to grasp our attention. This video explores the benefits of ignoring people.
There’s no shortage of other people’s opinions. Primarily online, we encounter numerous people blurring out what they think, often anonymously. We could easily let these opinions (which usually vary greatly) influence our thinking and decision-making, which isn’t always bad. However, the more we adopt other people’s opinions, the less autonomous we become in our own thinking.
The American philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson criticized people’s tendency to rely on outside influences in their choices. He wrote an essay titled “Self-Reliance,” emphasizing people’s inner guiding light as the best compass for making decisions. He believed in trusting one’s own thoughts and convictions over societal expectations or external advice. He argued that true fulfillment and wisdom stem from embracing one’s individuality and inner voice. According to him, trusting in one’s inner voice leads to a better, more authentic life.
I quote: "What I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think. This rule, equally arduous in actual and in intellectual life, may serve for the whole distinction between greatness and meanness. It is the harder because you will always find those who think they know what is your duty better than you know it." End quote. The opinions of others can be valuable and food for thought. However, Emerson thinks they’re no match for our inherent voices.
Ignoring other people (especially those inclined to tell us what to do and how to live and think) allows us to hear our inherent selves better. Emerson admits that being alone is the simplest way to shut out external chatter, yet he argues that the real test is staying true to our inner voices even when surrounded by others.
We can’t deny that technological advancements have made our lives easier in many areas. When it comes to communication, people worldwide can now reach us in various ways, from old-fashioned letters and phone calls to the eloquence of messenger apps and video calls. If we have an online presence on various social media platforms, we become even more receptive to people contacting us and socializing.
Whereas our interactions were once confined to those physically around us, the digital age has brought the whole world to our doorstep. And it’s knocking. The smartphone has become an extension of the human body and is a source of unending stimuli. Day and night, this device bombards us with messages and notifications and allows us to access an unlimited amount of information within a couple of seconds.
But to many, this unnatural and unprecedented amount of human noise has disrupted their inner peace. Worse still, plenty of research suggests that the use of social media contributes to psychological problems. A study published in the U.S. National Library of Medicine shows that excessive social media usage is currently the second leading cause of psychiatric-related disabilities.
I quote: "The use of social networks is strongly correlated with the development of anxiety and other psychological problems such as depression, insomnia, stress, decreased subjective happiness, and a sense of mental deprivation." End quote. Although this study focuses on mental disorders, it shows how exposure to and immersion in social media can be detrimental to our mental health.
This is not surprising, considering the excessive amount of stimuli, the ongoing competition for attention, and the influence on one’s self-esteem. Even though it can be helpful and fun, social media is human noise amplified, a mass-produced superficial way of relating to each other. It’s another addition to the already rowdy media landscape, designed to grab our attention.
Ignoring all this chatter by switching off our smartphones and televisions can help us regain our inner peace. Imagine the dramatic reduction in stimuli and the silence as we’ve muted the thousands of voices that usually yell at us. We could go from being controlled by technology to being like calm Taoist sages sitting quietly by a river.
As a content creator, I have encountered countless people who insult me and offer non-constructive criticism, mainly intended to discourage me. I admit it was overwhelming at first, but as time passed, I got used to it, learned to ignore the trolls, and accepted that wherever you’re visible, people will be trying to take you down. We’re affected by insults and negative opinions because we care about what people think of us.
This concern with the opinions of others, our estimation in their eyes, and our reputation seems to be both natural and learned behavior. The predicament of this desire to be liked (preferably by everyone) is that despite this desire, we have no control over who will and will not like us. Haters will hate. There’s nothing we can do about it. We can get angry at them, argue, or try to change them. But we can also ignore them.
Ignoring people is often the wisest course of action, as it takes the least energy, costs minimal attention, and we don’t risk being pulled into an exhausting argument leading to nowhere. After all, most trolls and haters don’t intend to change; they just want to stir the pot. Stoic philosopher Epictetus uses an interesting analogy that could help us become more resilient to people’s toxicity.
Imagine going to an ancient Roman bathhouse. In such a place, some people tend to splash water, act rudely, and use abusive language. If we go there with the mindset that it’s in the ‘nature’ of this place to encounter such people and that our goal is to keep our heads cool when visiting that place, we’ll conclude that we won’t attain this goal if we let ourselves be bothered by them.
Having an online presence, like a YouTube channel, naturally exposes you to trolling and criticism. It’s part of the territory when you put yourself on the internet. Therefore, embracing these people as part of the job builds resilience. After a while, nasty comments appear like flies, dropping by on a summer day, slightly annoying at most, and unworthy of getting mad about.
Attention is a valuable commodity these days. Companies want our attention to promote their products, people on social media want our attention to boost their popularity, and television channels want it for advertisement revenue. Our employers want our attention (along with our time and energy) to help them make money, of which we generally receive a tiny share. Human attention means money. And we’re wasting most of it.
We’re giving it away to silly TV shows, pointless conversations leading nowhere, looking at people on Instagram we don’t even like, and feeling depressed because their lives appear way more successful than ours. The more we give away our attention to others, the less of it we can spend on things that truly matter to us. What about our dreams and ambitions? What about our creative pursuits? These things require dedication.
They need us to isolate ourselves from people, at least for a while, so that we can give them our undivided attention. When building up this channel in 2019, I shut myself off from people, online and offline, most of the day. I didn’t want anyone to interfere with my work, as every interaction would affect my focus. Also, I refused to listen to the skeptics, even though their doubts probably came from a good place.
So, during bouts of isolation from human distraction and opinion, I was able to create something I’d consider successful. But I’m not the only one who harnessed the power of ignoring people to boost one’s creative pursuits. History is filled with individuals like J.K. Rowling, who secluded herself in cafes to write the Harry Potter series, and Nikola Tesla, who worked in isolation to invent and discover groundbreaking technologies.
And let’s not forget Noah, who ignored the skeptics and finished his godly task. As I mentioned, social media is generally a superficial way of relating to others. One can have thousands of followers and connections but not even one meaningful friendship. We also encounter that people have many superficial ‘offline’ relationships but not any with depth and significance.
They’ve scattered their attention to the many instead of focusing on a selected few. Such diversification works well with things like investing, but is it really beneficial when it comes to socializing? Of course, it depends on what we seek. It’s OK if we’re content with many shallow friendships and acquaintances who perhaps just serve as means for small talk or benefit our reputation on social media.
Perhaps the sole purpose of having a spouse is to show her off or use him for his money, which, I guess, is also okay with mutual consent. Imagine the loneliness of knowing so many people, calling many of them ‘friends,’ being married to a trophy wife or husband, yet finding oneself without a genuine confidant during challenging times. However, one philosopher, Arthur Schopenhauer, actually encouraged keeping people at a safe distance.
He was a pessimist who compared human relationships with hedgehogs; if we get too close, we may enjoy each other’s warmth, but we also sting each other with our sharp spines. While there’s truth in his analogy, close relationships can be very rewarding. If we intend to create deeper bonds with people, relationships that involve trust, companionship, tolerance, mutual acceptance, and growth, we must be selective.
Building meaningful bonds is nearly impossible if we want to befriend everyone. We wouldn’t have enough time and attention to pour into these close relationships. So, what’s the solution? Ignoring people. Ignoring the many allows us to come close to the few. So, to conclude, ignoring people may not always be the friendliest approach, but ultimately, it’s our right to be selective in whom we communicate with and give our attention to.
Our attention is precious. How we use it significantly determines our quality of life and feelings. Therefore, let’s not hesitate to turn off our phones, leave emails and texts unanswered for a while, ignore the lure of social media influencers, and, in essence, choose not to give our attention to everyone asking for it. After all, you know what they say: “Ignorance is bliss.” Thank you for watching.