shower thoughts that make me question reality..
What if your entire life is flashing in front of your eyes, but you're already dead? If you're not dead but alive, everything is trying to kill you constantly. Your stomach is constantly trying to kill you; feeding it makes it stop. You need to drink as well—being hydrated is a necessity. Drink your water normally; jump to your drink from the top. But when you use a straw, you empty it from the bottom. Your lungs are also constantly trying to kill you; breathing resets that timer too.
We really take for granted the fact that most of our body's processes are automated. Aging is a disease with a 100 percent mortality rate. Maybe that's why aliens aren't visiting us. Maybe they should visit Antarctica, though, because Antarctica is statistically the best place to have a baby. All 11 babies born there lived, making it have a zero percent infant mortality rate. It's pretty cool to think about that there are only 365 different birthdays for nearly 8 billion people. You live to be around 80, and you spend a third of your life sleeping. But when you sleep, you're just looking at the back of your eyelids for eight hours straight. To be honest, sleep is just a free trial of death.
So, we're all dead. Here are some more shower thoughts. A lot of TV shows have those fake laugh tracks in the background so you know when to laugh at the really bad jokes. But what you don't really think about is that for the really, really old shows, while you're sitting and watching and listening to it, you're also at the same time probably listening to a bunch of dead people laughing. Related: one day, there are going to be more dead people on social media than there are living people, if they still exist. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, even will be a graveyard of content and information from people who lived hundreds of years ago.
It will become the biggest source of information for any event. You'll be able to see how people reacted to presidential elections, to the death of their idols, to the spread of new diseases—everything there is. You won't be able to see how the world reacted to sliced bread, though. Bread is just a loaf of dough, so by that logic, cheese is just a loaf of milk, and an ice cube is just a loaf of water. Speaking of ice, something I find kind of interesting is that there have been entire civilizations that never knew that water had a solid form.
The money you earned is never actually yours; it's just your turn with it. Everyone works to survive, and all of the money that you've earned actually belongs to someone else. There are a lot of jobs and businesses that bank off of the fact that things in your life can go wrong. Doctors only make money because you get sick. They can't expect money because your car breaks down. Lawyers make money because you messed up really, really bad—like maybe you robbed a bank. But if you do try and rob a bank, you shouldn't have any problems with rent or food bills for the next 10 years, regardless of whether or not you're successful.
A jail and a prison are basically the same thing, but a jailer and prisoner are completely different. The company Bic is known for making lighters and pens; both of these happen to be things that are frequently stolen, which is kind of a pretty good business model, if you think about it. Teachers make money off of the fact that you don't know how to add numbers together or speak a language properly. Speaking of language, you ever just take time to think about letters and words? They're weird and confusing but kind of cool. It takes more letters to spell the word "short" than it does to spell "long." Also, all the e's in the word "Mercedes" are pronounced differently.
When you say the word "forward," your lips move forward. When you say the word "back," your lips move back. When hurricanes form, the most dangerous part is the eye; it destroys everything in its path. It's right in the middle, which also happens to be where the letter "i" is—in the middle of the word "hurricane." It's kind of cool. Hurricanes are deadly.
Everyone tends to talk about and consider the question, "Where do we go when we die?" and it's a pretty good question, but no one ever asks, "Where are we before we were born?" The world hasn't changed much over the past seven hundred years. Today, we take pictures of food and put it on Instagram, and a lot of people get super frustrated by this. But during the Renaissance, people would sit around for weeks on end painting a table full of food. You know, you've probably walked past someone that you played video games with online before and just didn't realize.
Similarly, you see people every single day that you will never see again in your entire life. Out of every event that has happened, everything led you both to the same place at the same time, only the fear of path and never meeting again. On a similar note, you've probably seen someone on the last day of their life, and you could have never known. To make this more fun, though, your future wife is probably telling your boyfriend that they'll be together forever. How cute!
You often hear that life is a roller coaster, and I get it; it feels like it. But when you're on a roller coaster, aren't the downhill parts the most fun? You also often hear things that are so easy a caveman could do it. The problem is that cavemen were able to start fires without lighters or matches, and were able to kill animals that were 3 to 4 times their size, so is it really that easy?
If you've been using technology like computers or cell phones for years, as most of us have, it probably swirled for hundreds or thousands of miles. But honestly, you scrolling doesn't mean you've actually moved anything. When you scroll on your phone, nothing changes except for the color of the pixels on screen. Nothing is moving; it just seems like it. When your laptop overheats, it freezes. No British King would have this issue, though, because no ruling British King has ever used the Internet before.
Before the invention of phones, the question "Where are you?" was probably never asked. Eventually, when you're ordering something or sending a letter or something, you may have to put "Earth" as a part of your address. Maybe when you can live on the moon, you've seen more of the surface of the moon with your own eyes than you will ever likely see of Earth.
If you think about it, about half of the universe is in your field of view at all times. But for now, humans are on Earth, but we're weird and a little broken. Brushing your teeth is really the only time you ever clean your skeleton. Cleaning is just rearranging dirt. Speaking of cleaning, you should probably really clean your glasses; right now, they're disgusting.
You really can't clean something without making something else dirty. You also can't move your top teeth; go ahead and try. You can't hum while holding your nose shut either; go ahead, try this one too. And while you're at it, you also can't snap your fingers inside your mouth. You ever realize that humans cut down birdhouses to make birdhouses? If you've ever clapped your hands before, you never actually stopped. There's just a really, really, really long pause between claps.
We do have some redeeming qualities, I guess. We live a lot longer than most animals. If you're over the age of 30, you are alive before every single dog that is currently on Earth. We argue a lot, though, over really, really stupid issues, like whether or not we should eat other animals, even though we are animals ourselves. But if vegetarians don't like each other, is it still considered beef?
Let's flip a coin and decide. Flipping a coin isn't really a 50-50 thing, though; it's random. In a vacuum, a robot can flip a coin millions of times and get heads every single time. Humans only really use it to make decisions less stressful, even though it's a purely random event. Machine learning is becoming a bigger and bigger part of our lives every day. But you observe machine learning all the time.
Your brain is really, really good at learning things. This is shown in your dreams: your brain can recreate scenarios with people you've known for years and just have full-on conversations with them that your brain made up on the spot. Even with people you just met, and it can all feel so real. But no one has ever dreamt about popcorn until it happened. Honestly, the person who discovered popcorn had to be super confused when it happened.
You ever think about how arms on chairs are just like chairs for your arms? Also, if two mind readers are reading each other's minds, whose mind are they actually reading? It's weird. But what's also weird is that blue was usually seen as cold while red is usually seen as hot, but blue fire is hotter than red fire. It's likely that another kid is going to grow up in your childhood home and have a lot of the same experiences that you did while growing up there.
They'll use every room, toilet, staircase, and light switch that you did. But why are they called light switches? At the same time, they're also dark switches. Almost everything you have ever owned is still on Earth somewhere, unless you're Elon Musk and shot your car into space. All of the materials needed to create today's technology have existed since the beginning of the Earth; it just wasn't in the right form or put together yet.
You're living in an age where you can be smarter than almost anyone in the past 2 million years. You can be smarter than almost all 100 billion people who have ever lived. You have the world's information at your fingertips, but you'd rather sit here and listen to me tell you what I think about in the shower. I'm flattered, really, but please get out of my house before I call the cops.
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