Don’t Be “Distracted by Their Darkness” | Marcus Aurelius on Success

Even though the Stoic teachings are geared towards tranquility, the end goal is living virtuously and in accordance with nature. So, there’s something as being ‘successful’ as a Stoic, which is living a life of virtue. But no matter what we pursue, the works of emperor Marcus Aurelius contain many teachings based on logic and reason that can help us improve our mindset, in order to be successful. Here are five of them.

(1) Create your teachers. Marcus Aurelius learned from many people in his close environment. It’s very inspiring to read how he extracts the positive aspects of people and sees these as lessons to incorporate in his own life. For example: From his mother, he learned generosity; from his great-grandfather, he learned to avoid public schools and hire good private teachers; from Diognetus, he learned to not waste time on nonsense; and from Maximus, he learned self-control. Marcus described many different people as his teachers; from close family members to the Gods. So, for him, teachers don’t have to be literal ‘teachers’, but they can be anybody. Instead of fault-finding, he focuses on the good aspects of each individual that he can incorporate in his own life. This can inspire us to do the same: we can take a good look at the people in our own environment, and instead of judging their flaws, we can admire them for the good characteristics they possess. We can also look at philosophers, certain celebrities, and even religious figures to see what they can teach us. Also, people we consider ‘bad’ or ‘toxic’ often have something admirable about them; a trait that we might want to cultivate ourselves. This way, we create teachers out of the people around us, instead of competitors, enemies, and villains. By working together and benefiting each other, we’re more likely to become successful than the other way around.

The next four teachings are based on the fourth chapter of Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations. Let’s start with number two:

(2) Stop caring about them. This may sound a bit contradicting to the previous teaching, but when it comes to other people, Marcus points out the importance of not caring. I quote: “The tranquillity that comes when you stop caring what they say. Or think, or do. Only what you do. Not to be distracted by their darkness. To run straight for the finish line, unswerving.” End quote. Too often, we see people hold back each other. When I started this channel, for example, many people were skeptical and thought that I’d be better off (and more secure) focusing on my regular job. In a way, they’re right: the nine to five jive is generally more secure. But the thing is: they speak from their perspective, which might be completely different than yours. This doesn’t mean that it isn’t useful to ask people for advice; but, at the end of the day, the person who knows what’s best for you is you. The skeptics didn’t have my vision and my knowledge, so they weren’t able to visualize my ideas the way I could. Even though I respect their opinions, I didn’t let these people stop me from continuing my plans. A part of these skeptics probably have good intentions. But there are those that malevolently try to sabotage us. When this is the case, the advice of Marcus Aurelius is king: don’t be distracted by their darkness. Many people are envious. Many people take delight in seeing others fail. This has more to do with their insecurities and shortcomings than with ourselves. My book Unoffendable discusses how Stoicism can help us to care less about what people think, so we can, as Marcus puts it, “run straight for the finish line, unswerving.”

(3) Do what’s essential. Now, another teaching by Marcus Aurelius can be seen as a form of minimalism. Many people, myself included, have fallen into the trap of doing many things that aren’t relevant, wasting a lot of time and energy. When we don’t have a clear image of what we have to do to reach our goals, we become aimless. The consequence is that we become stressed out, or even burned out. That’s why it’s important to stick with the essentials. I quote: “If you seek tranquillity, do less.” Or (more accurately) do what’s essential—what the logos of a social being requires, and in the requisite way. Which brings a double satisfaction: to do less, better. Because most of what we say and do is not essential. If you can eliminate it, you’ll have more time, and more tranquillity. Ask yourself at every moment, “Is this necessary?” But we need to eliminate unnecessary assumptions as well. To eliminate the unnecessary actions that follow. End quote. Depending on what we want, doing the essential never fails us. If we want more tranquility in life: do what’s essential. If we want to build a business: do what’s essential, and weed out everything irrelevant. For me, I write down the tasks for the day on the night before. These tasks could be writing a script, shopping for groceries, or any other activity besides laying on the couch. This gives me focus; even before I go to bed. The clarity of what I need to do the next day helps me to sleep better as well. It also shields me from doing stuff that’s not essential because my tasks are clear-cut.

(4) Change your perception. Hardship is part of life. When we’re trying to achieve something, we can expect resistance. Marcus Aurelius experienced many setbacks during his reign as emperor of Rome: the plague, betrayal... and his wife Faustina cheated on him with Cassius, the governor of Syria, when he, himself, was sick. But as the Stoic he was, Marcus Aurelius stayed grounded, accepting these events as part of nature and, thus, beyond his control. Whether or not we are harmed by hardship doesn’t depend on the hardship itself, but on the way we look at it. So, it’s a matter of perception. I quote: “Choose not to be harmed—and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed—and you haven’t been.” End quote. Marcus’ advice sounds a bit simplistic, but it’s actually the basis of a popular and widely used method in psychology called cognitive behavioral therapy. This therapy is based on the idea that emotions are rooted in thought. Thus, a certain event isn’t the root of how we feel, but our thoughts about this event are. If we, instead of aversion, develop a neutrality towards the thing we perceive as undesirable, we don’t feel harmed when we incur it. And if we don’t feel harmed, we haven’t been. Knowing this makes us more resilient on our path to success because it’s much easier to accept setbacks and continue despite them.

(5) Follow nature’s way. The last teaching is a bit similar to the third one but fundamentally different. The third teaching is ‘do what’s essential’. This means that we do only the things that are necessary. Following nature’s way means taking the shortest and easiest route. This idea is also prevalent in Taoism; an Eastern philosophy that values the path of least resistance. So, how to follow nature’s way? I quote: “Take the shortest route, the one that nature planned—to speak and act in the healthiest way. Do that, and be free of pain and stress, free of all calculation and pretension.” End quote. Well, I admit Marcus’ advice is a bit vague. Although, considering the Stoic end goal, he might be pointing to living virtuously, thus, conformably to Stoic ethics. However, in the second book of Meditations, he tells us to consider the nature of the world, our own nature, and how we relate to the world. So, we could ask ourselves: What are my strengths? What are my weaknesses? What activities are most fitting for me? In what way can I contribute to the world that fits my own nature? Do I perform better alone? Or do I work better in teams? Et cetera. By respecting our own nature, and just being who we are, as humans and as individuals, we might discover the shortest and easiest route to success. There’s no fixed set of criteria when it comes to following our own nature. We have to find out ourselves what’s right for us.

There’s an ideological and ethical side to this. From a Stoic perspective, our success must be a contribution to humanity. One can be a successful drug dealer, but from an ethical point of view, this person’s success is tragic for humanity. And not only for humanity but for the person itself as well, as this “profession” goes hand-in-hand with great stress, calculation, pretension, and a risk for violence in the name of greed. As a Stoic, it’s essential to take into consideration in what manner personal success benefits the world. If it harms the world, it isn’t success. As Marcus states: “My city and state are Rome—as Antoninus. But as a human being? The world. So for me, “good” can only mean what’s good for both communities.”

Now, that’s it! Thank you for watching.