The 3 elements of power: Influence, negotiation, nurturing | Daymond John | Big Think

Powershift: it's the ability that we all have, but people have to learn to navigate it. Powershift is the fact that the only difference between you or me, or myself or somebody else, on why they've gotten to this part of their life or another part of their life, is their ability to retain power, as well as give it to other people that they work with. It comes in three different stages.

One is you must build influence. The next is, of course, the negotiation and exchanging of energy and ordeals. The third, which a lot of people do not ever recognize, is the nurturing of a relationship to make that relationship more and more effective and productive over the history of your relationship. When you think about powershift, this is not only about being at a negotiation table and being very transactional; this is in a relationship.

This is the mentality that you are educating yourself before you go out into the world. Because a lot of us, even myself, suffer from self-doubt from here and there. So, powershift is being able to transform your mind and being able to use the things you have at your disposal to get what you want and where you want.

When you think of what a life or career looks like without people understanding how to shift power, it is the masses who get on the train or whatever the case is every single day and work and go to a dead-end job, or they're in a relationship they don't know why, or they're on a treadmill or a hamster wheel moving along with no compass, no navigation, no autopilot on what they’re gonna do if they ever get to this destination.

What are they? One life; are they doing this for themselves? Are they doing this for others? Did they allow somebody to marginalize them and/or take power away from them that they gave to somebody who never ever valued it? Now they don't have it themselves, and they blink their eye, and their entire life has gone away, and they felt like they had no purpose in life.

That is what happens when somebody does not tap into their why, does not maximize their relationships, and does not, you know, really nurture those relationships. Afterwards, a life and a career of somebody who has understood the power of shifting power is a life of trial and error, a life of educating themselves, a life of surrounding themselves with like-minded people, a life of seeking more understanding.

Their why and what is the purpose driving them when they get to that place that they want to be? What was the purpose? It is a life of enriching other people in their community, in their office, in their church, in their relationship. It is understanding that when you're negotiating, it's what's in it for the other party as well.

It's not just self-serving; it's also being able to understand that in a relationship, no matter what it is, you're Batman; somebody else is Robin. Often, you're Robin, and you allow somebody else to be Batman, and it makes you much more powerful. That's what you see in the most successful people in the world.

Success is not only money; success can be various other things. People who have overthrown governments with Twitter arguments say so. When people understand their power, they're constantly seeking to enrich more people, as well as tapping into what they've learned and how to even become better at being powerful.

There are a lot of things around that are right in front of your face: how to negotiate with power, meaning what is the body language, what is the other person telling you, what are you not listening to that you should be looking for. A lot of times, people just don't ask the right questions. Instead of just stating what they want, they should be asking, "How can this situation be better? What do you need? What do you need for this situation? What are your obstacles?"

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