Honest Q&A About My Relationship, Smoking, Marriage, and More

Hello, hello! Let's do a little Q&A. I basically collected some questions on my Instagram story. If you're not following me on Instagram, what are you doing? Okay, I promise I'm going to be more active. Okay, I say this like every single month, and then I disappear, but I hope this time I'll be more active.

Let's start with the first question: What is your height? I get this asked quite often. I'm like 159 cm, which is I think like 5'2" and a half, something like that. I'm quite small, actually. A lot of people assume that I'm actually taller in real life because I catfish you online, but I'm actually tiny. When I was a kid, I really hated that because, you know, my personality, like how I perceive myself, I'm like 170 or 180, okay? But in reality, I'm like a small tiny human being, and I sometimes really get mad about it. But you gotta be just fine with it.

Okay, so next question: How's life? Recent life has been quite good, I would say. I mean, it's really stressful because, like, my brother is getting married in a week, and his fiancée is going to move in with us. So, we're renovating the home, and I'm also like financially supporting my brother when it comes to his wedding because it costs a lot of money in Turkey to, like, do weddings and ceremonies. We have, like, so many cultural things, so it's really stressful, to be honest. Yeah, our family is expanding, so exciting times!

How do you choose your friends? When it comes to my choosing my friends, this is not only about friendship, but I would say in any kind of human relationship, you know, there should be balance in terms of giving and receiving, in my opinion. So, if you're only learning something from someone and you're not able to give anything back to them, this does not necessarily mean it should be maternalistic or anything. It can be anything, like support, being there for that person, you know, like showing compassion and showing love for them. It can be that, but if that's not balanced, then I don't think any sort of relationship should continue. So, if I'm choosing a friend specifically, they should be someone that I can learn something from, and I can also not say teach, but inspire them for something, and we can, like, grow mutually and not waste both of our times.

By the way, you might think, like, why are you looking at your phone? I just have the questions in random order, and I'm trying to, like, put them in an order so that when I'm, you know, maybe editing this video, it could be easier. You might think I should have done it before the video. I know this is my second channel, and I'm not going to be that organized.

For the third question: Has dating become harder as a YouTuber? Honestly, I don't know because, like, I'm such an antisocial person. And I'm not saying this in a quirky way or anything. For the past three years, because we had so many family and financial issues and I moved between different countries, etc., I haven't actually really built my social circle, I would say. So, I don't really have that many people around me. Obviously, like, I know a lot of people, but it's not like I'm hanging out with them quite often, or you know, all my friends around me are in different countries, so it's quite hard to socialize, I would say. But that is not because I became a YouTuber; it's just because I'm social as hell. I should get out of home more, so I don't know. Maybe it is hard, maybe it's not.

I feel like people don't care about my content. It's making me lose motivation and optimism. I think people won't care about our content unless we give them a reason to do so. So, I think that is the most important part when it comes to content creation, you know, growing on YouTube, growing on Instagram, whatever that is. It's important to identify why someone should care about this post over the other ones because there's so many posts online, right? I've been thinking about this quite often, and I think, like, I'm going to be honest, over the past couple of months, I was really focused on kind of like getting the numbers. So, I wasn't really creating videos that were unique to me, and I could talk from a different viewpoint, but I was looking at the market and seeing the videos that were performing well, and I was changing it. You know, obviously, I was sharing my own lessons onto those videos, but still, like, I wasn't really focusing on my unique selling point. And I think it's really important to sit down and think, what is something that you can bring value to people that is different to you, and turn that into a video?

Because the competition is high, so we got to give people a reason to care, and I think that is the key source to succeed on YouTube, in my opinion. For example, you know, when I just started, so what I did was I identified my unfair advantage, which was being able to speak multiple languages, and I was really good at learning languages. So, I sat down and identified the struggles people have when it comes to learning languages and how I overcame them, and that was my unique selling point, right? Like, I learned English without going to a language school or without studying from grammar textbooks, etc. I learned it from YouTube, which is something most people probably want to do. And that was my unique selling point, and that was the reason why people would care about my content, and I made the video, and it got like 6 million views. So, that's kind of like how I always brainstorm when I'm coming up with video ideas: Why should people care about this video?

Next question: What happened with med school? You know, some of you guys probably don't know this because I was talking about this in my earlier videos, but I don't talk about it anymore. I'm going to... I'm actually a medical student, which is crazy to say, so I'm still continuing medical school. But, by the way, if you don't know, I'm studying in Italy, and the Italian medical school is very chilled, is very different from the rest of the world. So, for example, in regular med schools, you probably have exam dates, and they are rigid, right? Like, you can't change them. But in Italy, we have multiple exam months, and you can book your own schedule and arrange it accordingly. And you can take the exam multiple times; obviously, the exam changes. It's not like the same exam, but it gives a lot of credit flexibility. And probably Italy is the only country that I can study medicine while doing YouTube because of this flexibility.

So, I am actually a second-year right now. Can you believe that? I've been... I've been a first-year medical school student for such a long time that it's kind of shocking that I'm a second year. So, I'm continuing it, but I don't think I'm going to graduate in like four or five years. I think it's going to take more time, but Italy allows me to do so. You know, most people in Italy don't graduate right away; they take their time, they do extracurricular things, they live life. You know, I think in the rest of the world, it's like if you study medicine, your whole life becomes medicine, and you don't do anything other than medicine. But in Italy, it's not like that. Like, Italian people enjoy their life even if they're in medical school, and I admire that. Honestly, these days, I've been really admiring Italians' way of living and their mindset towards life because they are happier than me.

Okay, so yes, I am continuing medical school, but I'm going to take it slow, and I don't want to talk about it on my channel because I do not necessarily want to attract medical students, and I'm not going to talk about it. So, that's the reason why I'm not talking about it. You know, you basically attract the audience to whatever you're talking about, and that's not something that I want to do.

Okay, do you also get jealous? I love you, but I'm so jealous at the same time. Do you mean getting jealous, like, about other people's lives? I don't really get jealous about other people's life. Not because, like, my life is perfect or anything, but, you know, when I was a kid, I would kind of like not necessarily get jealous but would feel that life is so unfair. And why am I facing all these, you know, when my uncle scammed my dad and etc.? I would always question that. But the older I get, the more I talk with really successful, like, societally successful people that made it, I realize that they have so much shit in their life that we can't even imagine, but they're hiding it. And the closer you get, they will talk about their life struggles, and they are some like crazy shit, you know? Everyone is struggling, I think, in life at a certain level. You might think, like, I would rather have that person's life. Yeah, sure! Some people start at a better level than you, but I think one of the things that I realize is that let's say your life, you know, according to you, your life started at level zero, and someone started at level 50. Let's say they have this generational wealth; they don't have to worry about money, this, this, this. For you to be happy, from level zero to level 10 is a significant difference. So you might be really happy and appreciate those things. But for someone in level 50, for them, like, getting to level 60, kind of like leveling up 10 levels is not enough to feel happiness because it's so normal for them and so standardized for them that to have the same happiness, they will need to reach to like level 100 and 150, etc.

Obviously, if you have money in a capitalist world, everything is much easier for you. But the kind of thing that I realized recently is that those people who are coming from very wealthy families, especially their kids, not their parents who really worked for their money, struggle a lot with love, like family friends, because everyone around you is trying to use you. And that kind of, like, sadness and loneliness is actually really bad. That I'm kind of, like, really glad that actually my dad got scammed and we lost everything. It's really bad, actually.

Any advice on how to maintain yourself motivated and constant when doing exercise? Do you mean, like, consistency and motivation when it comes to working out? I think the important thing is first, reminding yourself why you want to do this, like why you want to exercise regularly, and reminding yourself this regularly. So, actually, I'm kind of, like, really against scrolling on Instagram. I mean, obviously, I'm a pro procrastinator; when I open the Instagram app, my hour is like vanished; I don't know where it went. But I think when I was most consistent when it comes to lifting weights and running and working out, it was a time when I was following a bunch of gym girls, and I was looking at their body, and I was like, "Damn, I want to be like this!" And I would hit the gym.

Like, I would do this every single day. Whenever I would get demotivated, and I'm like, "Oh, I don't want to go to the gym," I would open my app, look at it, and I'm like, "Fuck, this is so hot! I want to be like this girl, you're so hot!" That was kind of like my method.

Now that I kind of like, you know, I haven't been using my Instagram lately, you probably haven't seen me uploading very much because I wanted to be really focused. There's so many projects that I'm working on, so I wanted to make time for them. But anyway, because I wasn't, like, really seeing those gym girls really often, I kind of like... I'm still working out, but like three times a week-ish. But I used to work out like five to six times a week, which is something that I definitely want to do again. And once this wedding ends, I'm going to do it, and I'm going to download my Instagram, and every day, for 15 minutes, okay, just look at people who are fit as hell, and you'll be like, "Damn, I want it, and I'm going to get it!" That is the way that I keep myself motivated.

I think it's just like constantly reminding yourself in any habit that you want. Like, if you want to get rich but you're building a business, and you're kind of getting demotivated, then open vlogs of people who you admire their lifestyle and then be like, "Damn, I want it!" I think that visualization of what you want and reminding yourself constantly is really important. That's probably one of the best ways to use social media, to be honest, to get inspired.

Okay, I feel Instagram kills the productivity as you consume a lot and do less. I shut while I’ve done much, so again, you know, I think it depends on how you use it. So, recently I'm just using it to keep in touch with my friends and to get inspired. That's it. So, I think it's important to set a limit to Instagram. Download apps like Opal or Burnout Buddy or things like that and just limit your social media consumption.

And make it impossible for you to reopen the app because, in my opinion, it's really meaningless to rely on your self-discipline when it comes to quitting social media or limiting the usage because those are billion-dollar companies trying to make us consume longer. So, you're not going to win with your discipline unless you're David Goggins.

So, skincare and makeup routine, please! I actually really want to do like a skincare routine video, you know, non-sponsored one on this channel. I have a huge shoulder; that's my favorite part to train. I don't know whether you guys can see, but like, damn, damn, damn, right?

Okay, dating anyone? What do you look for in a partner? So, this is a question that I get asked quite often. I mean, I understand it because whenever I'm watching someone on YouTube, even if I'm not like attracted to them, I would be kind of curious whether they're dating someone and what kind of person they're dating because I feel like when you look at someone and who they are dating, you can tell a lot about that person, right?

Okay, I'm not going to get into that a lot, but anyway, so unless I'm getting married to someone, I'm never going to announce it on my YouTube channel because I don't think that is a good thing, to be honest. Like, first, it's not good for the relationship; it's not healthy, in my opinion, having people commenting about your relationship. People watching your personal life to that extent is not a good thing, in my opinion, so I will never share that.

And second of all, you guys forget this quite a lot, but I didn't grow up in the U.S., okay? I am not coming from a family where you share about your relationship openly if you're not getting married, if that makes sense. So, like, my family is kind of traditional in that sense. I mean, my father is Turkish, so in Turkey, I think if you're very European and Turkish, then you might share about your boyfriend. You might talk about it, but in my opinion, like, for the majority of the people in Turkey, you don't like show your boyfriend. I mean, obviously, in Istanbul and in like more big cities, it's more common to kind of post your boyfriend, and your dad and mom sees you, etc. If I'm not getting married, I'll never talk about it, and I'll never share it.

Okay, what do you look for in a partner? So this is a question that I've been reflecting quite a lot recently. The reason behind that is because I want to have kids. I want to raise my kids, and I feel like having a family gives you a lot of purpose in life. Like, when I was really depressed and I was kind of thinking about suicide, that kind of thoughts... I just don't want YouTube to ban this video. Like, it was really hard for me to find a meaning towards life. I'm not religious at all; I don't believe in any religion, and please don't try to convince me to believe in any religion. I have respect for any new religion, but I really don't like it when people push it on me, okay?

Anyway, I was thinking about it, and I think having a family, having people you love, and you know they love you back is a very strong kind of purpose to live—to make them happy, to see them happy, to spend time together. I feel like those are the very simple little things that make life so much better. So, I want to build a family because I sometimes think about it, like, I love my mom a lot, and when she passes away from this world, like, even thinking about it makes me tear up a little bit. Like, what am I going to do with my life? So, I think the only way for me to continue my life without ending my life is to also have a family and love them and take care of them and grow with my kids.

Like, my mom always tells me that the best thing that happened in her life was my brother and I, so I definitely want to have that experience too, and I want to really raise my kids with a lot of love. I definitely want to get married.

So, what do I look for in a partner? Okay, let's go back to that. I want someone that I can raise my kids with together, right? Because, obviously, I'm not like a traditional wife type. You probably know me. But I really want to spend a lot of time with my kid, not necessarily doing housework. Like, when it comes to housework, I can always outsource it. Like, I want to have a personal chef, and I also want to have maids in my house so that they can do that—I'm not going to do it, okay? But I want to work from home, and I want to spend a lot of time with my kids, and also, I would want my partner to also be someone that will spend a lot of time with our kids, raise them together.

Like, I don't really believe that men should make money and women should stay home and raise their kids. Obviously, it works for, like, some people, but personally for me, since making money, I mean, I can also make money, and he probably will also be able to make money. Otherwise, how would we get married? Like, you know, let’s just raise our kids together. Like, why is it just like a one side does the thing? You know, let's do it together—everything; financial, family, like we can always share things.

So, I really believe that, you know, I'm not married; I don't have any experience in marriage, but I do believe that it should be something 50/50, like in everything that comes to it. So, I want someone that will protect the family, love their family, spend a lot of time with me and their kids, and really show love to them.

And someone that I can grow together with, so family is really important for me.

Okay, would you say you are religious? No, I am not religious at all. I really don't like having rules set to me, but like, I have a respect towards people from any religion, unless you're trying to convince me to convert into your religion. Like, you can do whatever the hell you want, and you can invite me to a religious event, and I will attend it, you know? I will also celebrate it with you, but I won't convert.

Okay, are you interested in publishing ADHD and ADD research content? Yes, actually, this is like one of my big goals that I have in life. Is that, you know, once we kind of like work on this channel and grow it even further and make more money, I want to get involved in ADHD research because I have ADHD quite a lot, and I feel like it's an area that a lot of people are not researching enough. And research requires a lot of money, so I would like to kind of make money from products that I create, the videos that I create on YouTube, and do very comprehensive research in ADHD and spend a lot of money on there. That's kind of like a dream.

Okay, do you smoke or have you ever tried smoking? I never talked about this, but I don't smoke, okay? Cigarettes or vapes or anything; I don't smoke. The reason behind that is because I think it makes you stink. Okay? Like, smokers, all of them have very bad breath; I hate that shit! But I give myself just a chance once a year that I can do shisha. We call it "Nar" in Turkey. It's kind of like a... it's also kind of like a part of the culture, I would say. Once a year, sha isn't isn't it like so not expected for me?

Who is "dusty" as a person? When not creating content or doing YouTube videos, I really don't want to disappoint you guys, but I am not really different outside of my videos. So, when I'm not creating videos, I'm either reading a book so I can create videos out of it or either I'm just scrolling on YouTube/Instagram to find inspiration, or I'm watching anime, working out, spending time with my family, hanging out with my friends. Like, a very regular life, I would say. I'm just a regular human being that happens to be a little bit obsessed with improving their life.

Okay, let's finish with the last question, which is: What do you envision your future career to be? Keep being a YouTuber or something else? So, for my future, I've been thinking about this quite a lot also. I've been thinking about a lot of things these days. But when it comes to my future, like, I definitely will continue making videos because I just love talking and broadcasting myself. Like, since I was 15, I'm doing this shit, and I'm not going to stop it unless, like, YouTube bans me or anything. But I'll definitely continue making videos, probably different videos from now on, or maybe the format will change; maybe we'll experiment with more things, etc.

But what I want to do is that I want to create an app, and that will take like—that will cost a lot of money, so that's like a future plan. But I want to do more research about ADHD, create my own app, and market it with YouTube.

Oh my God, we only have a minute that I can record, so I'm just going to say bye. Love, love, love! See you soon. Bye, bye, bye! This is so sudden.