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Heading Into an Ambush | The Long Road Home 360


2m read
·Nov 11, 2024

[Music] I've faced my death at 23 years old. I face my mortality. [Music] I was this skinny, young, overly confident wild young man. Nobody's ever ready for any type of crucible or test like that. [Music] Everything just went to 11 in about one second, and I thought I was hit because some of the shrapnel hit the back of my neck. [Music] And then the fire just became overwhelming. [Music] I don't have a lot of memories. I don't know if it's just I'm repressing it and I don't want to remember; I just don't remember. It seemed like time kind of slowed down. I froze, but the gunfire was going at a different speed; you don't know how to explain that. [Music] It's very fragmented and jagged in the memory. It jumps straight from one scene to the next scene, then on to the next scene. I come up, pages flipped over real quick. All of it's very bright, but there's no sound. I've got a very vivid memory of a woman. I can see it; her headscarf was blue, like a baby blue. She's covered in blood; she's screaming in crime. One of our guys had put down one of their guys, like right there by that doorstep. There's no sound, even though I know she was screaming. The memory stops, and then it jumps straight to the next part where I had a very, very clear picture of myself standing outside myself. I remember the black door swinging open, seeing the women, and I'm yelling at them. I can still see one of the ladies' faces; the traditional Arab woman looked like she would surprise somebody's grandma, you know, was holding a baby. You know, I think about that memory all the time. They're unwilling participants in an ambush. We were too; they just had no way to fight back. [Music] All my memories are out of center. I'm lost, and I'm still in the middle of it. By the same time, you know, everything's just fragmenting. I'm wondering if I would be ready to remember everything because that's a lot to ask. Going down that road, it's a lot harder than actually being there at the moment. But, um, maybe they've got the courage and the wisdom to do it. Now, I just need to build up the muscles for it. [Music] [Music] [Music] You.

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