Don't Watch This If You're Hungry - Chef's Outrageously Good Lobster & Tuna Salads!
Look, I need eggs now! I can't make this new sauce without eggs. All right, I'm on it, so chop chop, on my way!
Chef: Wonderful! Here, Nantucket Island, it's a classic. We do this every year. Now, the reason we're gonna talk is it's time to discuss the meal. We've got a ton of people coming over. How many do you think?
Kathy: Too many!
Chef: 80. Okay, so we're gonna do two dishes, and no Chef on their own can pull this off. So that's why I brought my team together. By the way, we worked every year together.
Kathy: Hey, I'm Kathy Neptune, and I love to cook, and I love to make cooking easy and affordable and healthy.
Chef: And let's talk about where we got these lobsters from. Here, I see you're wearing the 167 Raw hat. So we really go out of our way to get stuff local and fresh; that's what we care about the most.
Kathy: We all refer to Kathy about some of the other items, but everything's from the farm, from the lot, from the shop. So we went to 167 Raw yesterday, a local provider, been here forever.
Chef: Every year we come down there; we go there, and they got us to some of the nicest lobsters around. They steamed them for us to save us a little bit of time.
Kathy: Let's start with the salad nicoise. Okay, what do we need?
Chef: We're going to start out with garlic and Dijon mustard, very important! Dijon mustard, a red wine vinegar, a half of a lemon, fresh parsley that's chopped, fresh tarragon— not the dried, the fresh! If you can't find the fresh, use half the amount of dried, but fresh is really best.
Kathy: I have to cancel my tour because I couldn't finish the ERC paperwork in time.
Chef: Guys, the ERC money is still available.
Kathy: No way!
Chef: Yes way! Go to wondertrust.com to learn more.
Kathy: Keeping people with their money, that's music to my ears!
Chef: You need two days to make a salad or base. Okay, you can't make a Flavor of Love; you can't do it in the same day! Okay, you could, but it’d just be too much work. So, we already have the lobster steamed. We’ll go back to the tape; we videotaped there yesterday from one success, the freshest seafood on the island.
Kathy: Those clubs just there, we wait in the back, Frasers, Kathy, to pick up that tuna you talked about. Very important!
Chef: That was great. How many lobsters do you have here, Eric?
Eric: We've got — they gave us nine one-and-a-half-pound lobsters.
Chef: Now, lobster's yield 0.3 per pound, so if you've got nine one-and-a-half-pound lobsters,
Kathy: Nothing to learn about 0.3 pounds per pound; most of it's shell and stuff you can't eat.
Chef: Right, right! So we have to take them out of the shell; that's going to take a lot of work. We're gonna need four people to do this for the next hour.
Kathy: Now, are we worried about the lobster community? Are we gonna get in trouble with the lobsters now?
Chef: Well, people get mad about killing lobsters, and so there are a couple different ways you can get a lobster ready to eat.
Kathy: One way to prep it before you boil or steam it is to cut it in the middle of its head and slice its brain in half!
Chef: Okay, that's called "the slice the braid in half," and so that's very popular if you want from the community because that's the quickest way to kill the lobster.
Kathy: Right!
Chef: The second way is the most preferred by me; you actually get— you hypnotize the lobster!
Kathy: Okay!
Chef: You rub it on the back of its head, and it relaxes.
Kathy: Okay!
Chef: And you hypnotize it, and it gets into a calm relaxed state, and then you put it into the steam or boiler.
Kathy: The final way, which is new, is you give the lobster psychedelic drugs, and so the lobster is very relaxed when it goes.
Chef: Psychedelic drops to the lobsters! So that could be a breakthrough for the community.
Kathy: That's where the cutting-edge technology is right now, and how to boil a lobster is to give it psychedelic drugs.
Chef: You know you can't make this stuff up! I'm not making it up; I'm just telling that that's the sanest way to say that.
Kathy: You’re only going to find this on a Chef Wonderful video.
Chef: We're always at the cutting edge! If there's a new way to boil a lobster, we're going to find it on Chef Wonderful.
Kathy: All right, we're going to be serving today all of these fantastic seafoods; the lobster, and then of course you want the O'Leary Shard.
Chef: This has won five awards, and where can you get it?
Kathy: qvc.com, and they send the case for free!
Chef: It's Kevin O'Leary at its o'leary5lines at qvc.com.
Kathy: Before we start our meal, we're going to start with a little—let's call it an aperitif, Kathy!
Kathy: Right! Absolutely! This is a gazpacho, but not just any English!
Chef: This is an incredible spatula because gazpachos mean many, many, many different things.
Kathy: But let's talk about what's inside this one! Remember! What are we—fast, fun, and crazy?
Chef: Fast, fun, and fabulous!
Kathy: Fast, fun, and fabulous gazpacho! What's in this, Kathy?
Kathy: So it's very finely diced everything: cat, celery, fresh cucumbers, the English style, so you don't have to seed them, garlic, the sauces—oh, and sometimes I put in pepperoncini, which is in here!
Chef: And then also your sauces: cocktail sauce, Mexican salsa, and believe it or not, ketchup!
Kathy: I use the base of this, Campari tomatoes.
Chef: Are we ready? We're going to use—what is this, Kathy?
Kathy: A regular tortilla chip, but make sure these are chilled! You can even chill the glasses; it's even better!
Chef: Yeah, wow! Oh my goodness, that smells amazing!
Kathy: May the fork be with you!
Chef: Oh, may the fork be with me!
Kathy: That's Kathy's sing!
Chef: Wow, Kathy! Stealing that!
Kathy: Okay, you saw a route! You saw it! Fork is going to be with me! Are you ready?
[Music]
[Applause]
Chef: Wow! Did you like it, Kevin?
Kathy: Look at him! And you like the horseradish—little bite in there too!
Chef: Horseradish? It kind of builds up, and by the second bite, you're feeling the radish.
[Music]
[Music]
Kathy: What do we have here? What's this for the lobster cob?
Chef: We got our cherry tomatoes, farm fresh here in Nantucket!
Kathy: Little Pita breads!
Eric: Get these homemade pita breads!
Chef: Yep! What are we doing here, Kathy?
Kathy: Fresh Earth, and always Dijon mustard! Dijon is important! And what's this going into what?
[Music]
Chef: All right, I'm on it, so chop chop, on my way!
Kathy: Hey, how you doing?
Chef: Okay, let's do it!
Kathy: Awesome! Wow, these look great!
Eric: Thank you so much!
Kathy: You got it! This is what I'm talking about! I only go with the highest quality tuna, and we're at Raw 67. This is where the very best fish on the island is.
Chef: Look at that, look at that! Check out—check out! That is unbelievable! Look at the color of that! Welcome, Raw 67!
Kathy: I always come here every year for my swash salad, the tuna and the lobster!
Chef: [ __ ] Legendary! Chef Wonderful makes it right here on the island of the raw material. You'll start here. You gotta have the very best lobster, the very best tuna; there's only one place on the island.
Kathy: This is the owner right here.
Chef: Are you kidding? She's very nasty, but I like it!
[Music]
Kathy: Okay, Chef Kathy, what are we doing here? Quick and easy, fun, fast, and fabulous!
Chef: Tomatoes, line them up like this, another plate! You can do this way or this way! I like it this way!
Kathy: Very sharp! Nice! Look at this! And then you cut the rest—your knife on the bottom like this, what a trip! Place it like that, and you're done!
Chef: Stop the medicine!
Kathy: Oh, look at that! Wow! Getting ready, but there's lots more meat, Eric! I just want to say something as a chef; I saw lots of plums left in the shells!
Eric: I hope you're not going to waste!
Kathy: No, we use everything!
Chef: Okay, we're gonna make a Bully game today!
Kathy: Oh, that's very important!
Chef: Okay, that's good! What's the story on the eggs?
Kathy: We've secured a dozen eggs!
Chef: Where are they?
Kathy: Oh, there they are! That's great!
[Music]
Kathy: What's this? Point out what this stuff is all about! Fresh herbs! We're doing the dressing for the tuna salad, and I need some classroom prepared ahead of time!
Kathy: Fresh tarragon, and if you want all the quantities, you go to Kathy Neptune's kitchen! Shaver's promotion!
[Music]
Kathy: That you've put in the microwave! The fresh lemon so you get more juice! Dijon mustard and red wine vinegar, gotta have that!
Chef: Okay! Oh my goodness, stop the madness! Is this what we got yesterday?
Kathy: Yeah, so this is fresh cut and cod tuna, fresh cut in hot tuna from 167 Raw! Again, same as promotion, but these are our friends!
Chef: We're gonna do everything in the bowl except the olive oil, 'cause that's called our emulsion ingredient; look it up!
Kathy: So these are cherry, red wine vinegar, and this is so easy to keep track when you're busy and visiting with your people!
Chef: You want to be able to just dump everything and talk, and you'll see multitasking at its best and most delicious!
Kathy: The bingoes are parsley, and that way you don't miss any of the ingredients! This tarragon, and you can season salt and pepper to taste!
Chef: Look at how thick it's getting! Beautiful, beautiful!
Kathy: And then of course, I forgot to mention—Carlisle!
Chef: Oh, look at all the good! If there's any vampires around, they won't be around here today!
Kathy: Stop the madness! Conducting the actual cooking of the tuna—this is incredibly important because this is the core, the protein of the salad nicoise! The classic; you've seen all the other elements!
Chef: But now I've got my two assistants! Let's start cooking! Super hot! Very, very hot!
Kathy: Because you're going to sear the tuna! You saw that tuna coming right out of the ocean!
Chef: This is assistant Dave!
Kathy: Assistant Tony!
Chef: Very good, very good! You keep an eye on its own stage and put it on the plane!
Kathy: This is the kind of work I do every day!
Chef: Okay, so now what's happening is Dave is smoking the tuna!
Kathy: Even though at a very high temperature, he doesn't want to overcook it!
Chef: A little pink in the middle is what we want to do because that is the classic; the swaze, the tunity swas!
Kathy: You've got the eggs, you've got the lettuce, you've got all the fixings! It's going to be amazing!
Chef: Dave, how long before you look at this again? Don't screw this up! People are talking! Timer, two minutes!
Kathy: Oh, you see that? He's using technology for two minutes before he turns it over!
Chef: Good work, Dave! This is the kind of talent you're looking for! When I hire guys, I want them to understand tech; it's very, very important!
Kathy: Combining the old ways of cooking with the new ways of technology brings the best results!
Chef: All right, Dave! Look at that! Wow! You've got the burn mark!
Kathy: The Grille, the green eggs on the Fly decision! That looks perfect!
Chef: Okay, ladies and gentlemen, after all the hours and all the work involved, this is really a village opportunity and ability commitment for the Fourth of July!
Kathy: Two classic salads every year; we gather to do this! It's almost sacred at this point!
Chef: All fresh ingredients! Kathy did an amazing job!
Kathy: Eric, you're a beast!
Chef: All the animals involved are treated humanely on these dishes! Okay, let's make sure that's true!
Kathy: It is true!
Chef: And so, Eric, thank Dave for making the tuna on the go!
Kathy: Right! You got it just right!
Chef: Okay, so now Chef Wonderful is here to actually decide: is this a 10 out of 10, or 6.2, or 7?
Kathy: Each year I've got to make this decision!
Chef: I just take a single piece! Are you ready? Let's start with this!
Kathy: It's got some of the sauce! Put it right there!
Chef: Oh, look at that!
Kathy: Uh, anything could happen! We don't know! Should we try?
Chef: No one's tasted anything yet! It's the honor of Chef Wonderful!
Kathy: We'll try this first!
Chef: The only reason I, Mr. Wonderful, have time to search for the rare Vermillion flycatcher is because my companies have already received money from the Employee Retention Credit program. Go to wondertrust.com to see if your business qualifies today!
[Music]
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[Applause]
Kathy: Oh! Oh! 9.64 out of 10 right there, and nobody's even touched that yet!
Chef: Let's—oh, that's amazing!
Kathy: Oh, hello, Larry cabernetes! Where do you get them?
Chef: You'll be saved 14 bucks a bottle! Ships no charge!
Kathy: You don't love your case dressing room there!
Chef: Are you ready? This is the moment of truth! That looks good enough to you! You ready?
[Applause]
Kathy: Okay, boy!
Chef: Okay, another spectacular year!
Kathy: Yeah, yeah!