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Lumberjack For a Day | Dirty Rotten Survival


2m read
·Nov 11, 2024

The guys are felling one tree each in order to build a highly ambitious lumberjack camp designed by Johnny.

"Oh Johnny, I didn't get to say timber!"

"Oh, pretty close, John."

"Johnny, 22 inches! 22! 22! You really are humming, jerk."

"All right, Dicky boy."

"Right lads, this is a thing of such beauty and elegance. What I'm gonna do is put a rope as high up the tree as we can get it. Yeah, then it's coming down to a pulley just over there in that little block here, clear ground. Okay, we're then gonna take it almost at right angles down to the come-along attached to another tree. Dick needs to land his tree less than 22 inches from the stake to avoid wearing Jonny's musty old work shirt. As the resident engineer, he's using a rope and pulley system for maximum accuracy."

"The rope that's tied to his tree will run through a pulley and connect to a winch. He'll anchor the pulley at the proper angle with a second rope, cut through the base of the tree, and use the crank winch to pull the tree over, using the rope to guide the tree where he wants it to land."

"Look, I scraped it. I'll put it back here in case you were to measure it, Dave. All 0, 0, 22 inches, 4 inches, and no inches. So, lumberjack for the day is Dick Strawbridge."

"Why don't you guys just go pick us a campsite? Don't get to work here, you're mine. You should go get my stuff, Jonny. Don't go to class, but you stink!"

Since Johnny lost, he keeps his rancid work shirt and is tasked with processing three entire trees into pieces they'll use to build their camp. Johnny must buck, deal 'em, and then mill the logs into boards of lumber.

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