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Russian Dating School | Explorer

2m read
·Nov 11, 2024

[music playing]

TIM SAMUELS: If turning the clock back to the 1950s wasn't far enough for me and my cushion tush, I have a date with another popular school. One that draws its inspiration from caveman times. Valentina Vychushanina's class encourages men and women to tap into their primordial instincts by summoning up the inner Flintstone.

[russian speech] You are strong. I am with you. And I am believing you are powerful every time, and you are my king and the most powerful man in my life. And I know you are. That's unbelievable. I need that as my ring tone. Can you-- can you record this for me later? I need to listen to this every morning. I need to wake up to this.

Deep inside, woken from a slumber of Western egalitarianism, my inner Fred Flintstone began to stir.

[speaking russian] [roars] A wild beast? Yeah. Oh, OK. [growls] Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Like an epic 007 fight scene. A British hero fends off the Russian villain from reaching the beautiful woman. Eh, maybe more Mr. Bean.

Darling. I kept him away from you. [growls] This is-- it's like being a caveman again.

Yeah, yeah. Exactly. Because it's nature of power inside of your body.

Yes. It's always there. How do you feel?

I feel like a new man. And how do you feel?

I like when you feel the strong inside of you, and you become more--

Manly.

--strong man.

Yes. I like it. You like it. Yeah. So should we get married? Yeah? That's what the course is, isn't it? And what could be more manly than draping an awkward arm around a girl, who it turns out, already had a boyfriend.

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