15 Signs You Get Played By Others
Do you feel like you're always the third wheel? The one who is easily taken advantage of, or the one whose opinions don't matter? Well, in this video, we'll explore why you always get played and what you can do to change that. From lacking presence and failing to demand respect to being too trusting and accommodating, there are many reasons why people might take advantage of you. But with a little bit of self-awareness and a few practical strategies, you can start to take control of your life and stop being played once and for all. So let's dive in!
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Number one, you have no presence. One of the key reasons why you might be getting played is that you lack presence. When you enter a room or engage in conversation, do you exude confidence and self-assurance, or do you shrink back and blend into the background? A lack of presence means you're always the third wheel in any kind of social context. You are the plus one, the one there are no chairs for, the one people forget is even there. Now, presence is a tricky thing, but the following points will help tackle that.
Number two, you don't demand respect. Respect is something that needs to be earned, but it's also something that you can demand. The way you allow others to treat you sets the standard for how they'll treat you in the future. This will always be true, no matter the context. People notice how tolerant you are to being the subject of all the jokes, and even if you don't like it, you don't say anything about it. That forms an image that you're always the easy target, the one who won't say anything or push back. If you keep up with this image of yourself, it'll be incredibly difficult to break it. You can blame your inner circle for not being sensitive, but you're also the one to blame for not demanding more respect.
Number three, you've got nothing valuable to say. If you find yourself constantly being talked over or ignored in conversation, it's possible you just have nothing valuable to say, or your delivery sucks. This isn't about turning every conversation into a philosophical debate; it's about being able to entertain an idea. If your standard responses are "for real," then you can't be that surprised why people don't care what you have to say. Some people are naturally charismatic, and being engaged in a conversation comes easily to them; others are not. They will say they're the quiet type, but here's the reality: there is no upside to being the quiet type. If you don't learn to speak up, people won't listen to you even when you do have something valuable to say.
Number four, you're not loud when you need to be. Speaking of speaking out, sometimes it's necessary to be assertive and loud. Whether it's speaking up for your rights, expressing your needs, or pushing back against unfair treatment, you need to have the courage to be loud when necessary. The generation that grew up on the internet are the loudest people online, but quiet little puppies offline. They seem to constantly seek confrontation on the internet but always run from it in the real world. We're not saying to go out there and be a dick to everybody. There will always be situations where someone mistreats you, knowingly or unknowingly, and that's when you need to speak up and be loud.
Number five, you don't stand your ground. If you're always giving in or letting others have their way, it's a sign you're not standing your ground. When you're not clear about your boundaries or unwilling to defend them, you're making it easy for others to manipulate and control you. In some cases, people haven't even considered what their boundaries are and how much they're willing to put up with from people. Something we explore on the alux app is exactly this: figuring out your boundaries, becoming more self-aware, and building up the confidence you need to stand your ground in all areas of life—with friends and family, with romantic partners, in your career. We pay the coaches and the psychologists on your behalf to infuse our daily sessions and learning packs with top-tier valuable knowledge. Go to alux.com/app to get started on your journey today—your journey to self-awareness and confidence. Because, Alexa, your boundaries are important and should be respected. Start practicing saying no when necessary and stay standing up for what you believe in.
Now, an important note here: your boundaries don't mean having a safe place where no one is allowed to hurt you. It means how much you tolerate and how well you can navigate those situations when your boundaries are tested.
Number six, you don't trust your intuition. Intuition is a powerful tool that can help you to avoid being played. If you find yourself doubting your own instincts or dismissing warning signs, you're setting yourself up for trouble. Start listening to your gut feelings and paying attention to red flags in your relationships and connections. Trusting your intuition can help you to avoid dangerous or toxic situations. Your intuition is essentially an opinion you form from past experiences; it's when you recognize patterns or behaviors and understand where they can lead you to or when you pick up on subtle cues that are not obvious at first glance. Now, trusting your intuition requires practice and self-awareness, which is our next point.
Number seven, you lack self-awareness. Self-awareness is the ability to recognize your own thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. If you lack self-awareness, you might not realize when you're being played or why you keep falling into the same traps. When you're self-aware, you recognize your biases, values, and beliefs. You understand why you feel the way you feel or what makes you tick. It makes you more stable and grounded, and that's why we help guide you there on the alux app. When you lack self-awareness, all of your behavior is reactionary. You become impulsive and a lot easier to fool.
Number eight, you're too trusting. While it's important to have faith in others, being too trusting can leave you vulnerable to being played. If you tend to believe everything people tell you or give your trust away too easily, you might find that people take advantage of your naivete. We are believers that you should always trust someone until reality says otherwise. But to what extent do you trust others? That's a different thing. Learn how to put fail-safes in place and don't be scared to ask for guarantees or hold people accountable. You're not being too harsh on others when you do it.
Number nine, you're too accommodating. Do you often find yourself going out of your way to please others or putting their needs above your own? While being considerate and kind is important, being too accommodating can leave you vulnerable to manipulation. People who always try to please everyone will always be taken advantage of—that's just how it is. Ironically, you get more respect from saying no than saying yes.
Number ten, you lack confidence. Confidence is key when it comes to avoiding being played. If you lack confidence in yourself and your abilities, you might find people taking advantage of you or treating you poorly. Lucky for you, we published a video on confidence, which you can check out by clicking in the top right corner. But in essence, confidence is the most important aspect of being your own person and having others treat you as such, and many people lack it.
Number eleven, you don't assert your needs. If you have expectations from other people, let them know. You can't expect people to read your mind, and you don't get to be upset when they don't act the way you hoped they would. You'll be surprised to see how well people react when you tell them exactly what you expect of them and what your needs are. If you always go with the crowd and are fine with anything, you might think that you're easy to be around, but in reality, you're making yourself negligible. If you don't let people know what your needs are, your needs will never be met.
Number twelve, you're too eager to please. While it's important to be kind and considerate, it's also important to maintain your own authenticity and individuality. There's a fine line between being supportive and being an ass kisser, and nobody likes an ass kisser. Help when you can and offer support to those who need it, but take care of yourself first.
Number thirteen, you don't communicate effectively. Effective communication is key when it comes to avoiding being played. If you're not able to express yourself clearly and assertively, it's possible that people might misunderstand you or take advantage of your inability to communicate effectively. Start working on improving your communication skills by being clear, direct, and assertive in expressing your thoughts and feelings. When you communicate effectively, you're less likely to be misunderstood or taken advantage of.
Number fourteen, you're too passive. If you tend to be passive in your relationships and connections, well, it's possible that you're not asserting yourself enough. You can't just be fine with everything—I mean, you can, but you're setting yourself up to be in a position where your opinion doesn't matter because you agree to whatever somebody else decides. Start being more assertive in expressing your needs and wants, and don't be afraid to speak up when something doesn't feel right. When you're assertive, you're less likely to be pushed around or taken advantage of by others.
Number fifteen, you don't value yourself. One of the biggest reasons why you might be getting played is you don't value yourself enough. When you don't see your own worth, you're more likely to accept poor treatment or settle for less than you deserve. Start working on building your self-esteem and recognizing your own value and worth. When you value yourself, you're less likely to allow others to mistreat you or to manipulate you.
If you find yourself constantly being played by others, see if you can recognize these traits in yourself and start changing them. We hope you learned something valuable here today.
Alexa, and as a thank you for sticking with us until the end, of course, we've got a bonus for you: if you don't respect yourself, others will treat you the way you let them treat you, and all of it starts with the way you treat yourself. If you don't respect yourself and hold yourself accountable, nobody else will.
A locks are: it all starts with you. Thank you for watching this video, a-locks-er. If you found it valuable, consider subscribing to our channel and joining our awesome community. And if you're still hungry for more, we hand-picked this video for you to watch next, or head over to our website for more amazing content. See you tomorrow!