10 Things That Disturb Inner Peace
Let's do some backwards thinking today. In order to achieve inner peace, we might want to explore what actually stands in the way of achieving it, so we can eliminate these things and reach a state of tranquility. In this video, I will present you… 10 things that disturb inner peace.
(1) The need for validation. We don't control what other people think about us. Sure, we can influence it. But no matter if we do everything right, it's still up to them if they validate us or not. Some people simply dislike you. They may not like your face and/or they don’t like your skin color, or they may have negative past experiences that they somehow connect to you. No matter what the reason is; validation from others is beyond our control and, therefore, it's a weak and unreliable factor to pursue. If we need the validation from other people, we basically become their servants because our happiness is dependent on their judgment.
(2) Rumination about the past. Our minds will never be peaceful when they cannot let go of the past. If we carry past events with us all the time, we burden ourselves with luggage that increases in weight every day. The problem is: we cannot change the past. It's already happened. Also, we cannot really trust the mind in regards to retelling a story about the past; the stories we tell ourselves are often biased and incomplete. On the other hand, life experiences often contain valuable lessons. So, the art is losing the past without losing the lesson.
(3) Worry about the future. How can we be peaceful if our minds are lingering in the future? The problem with the future is that it hasn't happened yet. So, by thinking about it, we approach an infinite amount of possibilities. It isn't surprising that the uncertainty that goes hand-in-hand with figuring out what the future will bring causes anxiety. This doesn't mean that we shouldn't plan; it's just that repeating fantasies in the mind about possible outcomes over and over again is pointless and also damaging. An antidote for this is called 'amor fati', which means the love of fate. Amor fati is the art of embracing whatever the outcome is.
(4) The need for perfection. You know what they say: perfection doesn't exist. And I think that's true. Nevertheless, the perfectionists are always restless because of the idea that their creation isn't good enough. The problem is that because perfection doesn't exist, not a single result will ever satisfy a perfectionist; there will always be that feeling of dissatisfaction with themselves and their capabilities. Should we strive for imperfection then? No, I don't think that's a great idea either. There's nothing wrong with the desire to want to create something great. If we humans didn't have that desire at all, we'd never have gotten out of the Stone Age. So, how about replacing perfection with excellence? Because achieving excellence is completely doable, and, thus, doesn't burden the mind with the insatiable need to be perfect.
(5) The need for control over other people. What other people do or say is not up to us. We can try to restrict their freedom, we can set rules for them, we can use punishment and reward to train them. Doing this can influence their behavior greatly. However, at the end of the day, we do not control their actions, and we have no guarantee that the outcome of our guidance, teachings, or corrections will be desirable. The same goes for politicians, terrorists, or drug trafficking; we cannot control people's decisions to behave in ways we don't like. If we try to control other people's opinions, speech, and actions, we are setting ourselves up for an impossible task and a lot of headaches.
(6) Fear of aging and death. Why are some people so obsessed with preventing the aging process? There's clear evidence that aging is inevitable. Of course, we can extend our life by certain healthy habits and taking good care of the body, but this doesn't stop the body from aging in the long run. The same is true for death: there has never been an immortal human being, and I don't see that happening in the near future...