yego.me
💡 Stop wasting time. Read Youtube instead of watch. Download Chrome Extension

Dua Lipa Monologue - SNL


2m read
·Nov 10, 2024

Ladies and gentlemen, Dua Lipa! [ Cheers and applause ]

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you very much. My name is Dua Lipa. Or as some people call me, Dula Peep. But Dua Lipa is my real name. Dua is Albanian for love, and Lipa is Albanian for -- my last name. It's great to be back in 30 Rock. I actually made my U.S. TV debut eight years ago downstairs on The Tonight Show. So this building does feel a lot like home.

And especially tonight, because my parents are here in the audience. As you can see, they're kind of cool. They love to party. One night, I was out with my friends and we ended up at the club at 3:00 in the morning and who do I bump into but my parents, which was embarrassing because the last thing you want to see when you're super high and drunk off your ass is your daughter. But really, they've always been so supportive. They let me move to London when I was just 15 to start my career, and now my third album just dropped, and it's called "Radical Optimism."

A lot of people ask me what that means. To me, it's like looking on the bright side of any situation. Here, I'll show you. Someone tell me a problem you're having. Yes, you, sir.

Hi. My wife left me because during sex, I accidentally called her mom.

Well, on the bright side, now you'll have more time to spend with your mom. See? Radical optimism. Okay. Someone else. You.

Yes, hello, Dua. Yesterday I went to the doctor, and she said -- yes, my doctor is a woman -- anyway, that bitch said I had to stop drinking.

Well, on the bright side, there's always poppers. See. You can put a positive spin on anything. Yes, you.

Hi. I'm South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem.

No, no, sorry. I can't help. Look, we all have problems, even me. Like there's people online who say, Dua Lipa is always on vacation. Which is totally wrong because I'm British, so we call it a holiday. And there's people who called my dancing lazy and said, go, girl, give us nothing. But I didn't give you nothing, I gave you the greatest meme of all time.

And now, I'm here, I'm hosting, I'm performing, I'm making the wigs, dealing Adderall to the writers. I'm doing it all. So tonight, I promise I'm going to give you everything. We've got a great show for you tonight. I'm here, stick around we'll be right back.

More Articles

View All
The Second Inflation Wave is Coming... (Michael Burry's Big Bet for 2024)
Well, you might have seen recently that Michael Barry is back in the news, and that is because he has just released his latest 13F filing, giving us a peek behind the curtain as to what he’s doing with his own stock portfolio. While Michael Barry definite…
Expected payoff example: protection plan | Probability & combinatorics | Khan Academy
We’re told that an electronic store gives customers the option of purchasing a protection plan when customers buy a new television. That’s actually quite common. The customer pays $80 for the plan, and if their television is damaged or stops working, the …
Why your passwords suck..
Passwords are a string of nonsensical characters that separate us from our finances, our medical records, our school information, our entire digital life. It’s amazing how much power these random characters hold over us, how much they can do. How a simple…
Making an Undercover Drug Bust | Locked Up Abroad: Declassified
90 kilos of cocaine were found in the trunk of a vehicle at a border patrol checkpoint. The markings of the cocaine packages were the scorpion. This was the label for Amado and the Juarez cartel. If this guy was connected to the Juarez cartel, I knew this…
Building a Tree Stand in the Arctic | Life Below Zero
[Music] Gonna swing when it comes off that corner. Put it down, just let it go. Relax, it’s not gonna go anywhere. That’s a lot better there than a minute ago, swinging off the ladder. Fortunately, no accidents happened. A couple of times, some good close…
Critiquing Startup Websites With Webflow CEO
Hi, I’m Aaron, group partner at YC, and welcome to another episode of design review. [Music] Today, we’ve got a special episode; we are coming at you from the Webflow offices, and I’m joined today by Vlad, co-founder and CEO of Webflow. Welcome, everyone!…