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How Talking About Your Goals is (secretly) Destroying Your Success


3m read
·Nov 8, 2024

[Music] So pretty much everyone knows that one guy who on New Year's Eve proclaims to all his friends his ambitious plans to go to the gym every day or wake up at 7 a.m. every morning for the whole year. And they go and buy new workout clothes, install habit tracking apps, and are elated by the prospect of becoming that awesome person they've always wanted to be. In fact, they're so excited about it, it's as if they actually, you know, did something. But before a single day is completed, they'll bombard you with incessant monologues about all the benefits they're going to experience and how life-changing it's gonna be.

But you almost can't help but roll your eyes because you know they're just talking about it, not actually doing it. One of the things I've learned over the years is that nobody cares about what you say you're going to do, and you shouldn't either. No matter how much you flap your jaw, nothing moves. And having ambition isn't special; almost everyone has ambition. Whatever your goal in life is, there are likely millions of other people with that exact same goal, unless you have like a really weird goal, like performing a puppet show on top of Mount Everest or something.

But telling somebody that you're going to do something isn't impressive to anyone in any way, and never has been and it never will be. So instead of humble bragging to your roommate about how you're gonna start taking the gym more seriously or start eating clean from now on, try giving your tongue a little rest and actually get a few days, weeks, or even months under your belt. Learn to embrace the process of pushing yourself and achieving things when nobody is watching. Because, after all, who are you doing this for anyways? Do you genuinely want to build a company, or do you just crave the patronizing, "Oh, that's cool man, good for you," then you get for mentioning it?

The way I see it, there are only four types of people in this world: those who talk the talk and walk the walk, those who talk the talk and don't walk the walk, those who don't talk the talk and don't walk the walk, and finally, those who don't talk the talk but walk the walk. And I would argue that this final option is the best option you should strive towards, because those who talk the talk and walk the walk are usually annoying and they brag about the fact that they do things.

Those who talk the talk and don't walk the walk are even worse because they pretend that they do all these things but they're just talking. And the saddest of the bunch, number three, are those who don't talk the talk and don't walk the walk. Pretty self-explanatory, yeah? Just a generally uninspiring crowd to be around. And number four, those who don't talk the talk but walk the walk, these are the coolest people on planet earth.

This is the guy who's absolutely ripped but doesn't talk about it; the guy who drives an insanely nice car but few people know what he does for a living. His lifestyle is proof in and of itself of rigorous discipline, hard work, patience, etc. But he doesn't flaunt it, unless it's with a legitimate accountability partner or group that you actually take seriously. Speaking before you do is just a useless step in the way of actually doing; otherwise, you're just seeking validation for something you haven't even done yet.

So here's a personal challenge from me: go achieve something you've always wanted to achieve, something you've been putting off for a long time, and something that would dramatically improve your life. And when you're done, don't tell a soul. I guarantee you this will improve the way you look at yourself; it will bolster your self-efficacy. You'll carry around this confidence; it's like your own dirty little secret, and it'll permeate every aspect of your being, your interactions with other people. And you'll secretly know that you're a badass, and you didn't have to tell anybody.

If you liked this video, be sure to hit that like button, and if you like videos like these in general, hit that subscribe button. If you're a regular subscriber, you might be confused that you're not seeing my face at the end of this video. Basically, I'm having a bad hair day. Know basically half my apartment is packed up and the background looks really bad, so I just figured I'd keep it. Yeah, you get it. Next video, you might see my face talking to the camera. Okay, see you later. [Music]

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