7 Anti-Stoic Habits To Remove From Your Life Now! (A MUST WATCH STOICISM GUIDE)
Marcus Aelius, a famous Stoic philosopher, once said: "The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts." This quote reminds us of how our thoughts affect our reality and our health. Just as the people we hang out with can have a big effect on our journey, some habits can quietly lead us away from the path of Stoicism. Today we will discuss seven non-Stoic habits we may have and discuss strategies to return to Stoicism and inner peace.
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The first habit is to complain about things you can't change. Picture yourself at a picnic, where everyone is having a good time. The food is superb, and the sun is shining. Suddenly, clouds form, and it starts to rain. Some people would let this sudden turn of events ruin their day by whining about the weather, their bad luck, or their wrecked clothes, while others would be happy about the change and enjoy the smell of rain.
This is a standard case of being affected by things we can't change. Life, much like the weather, is unpredictable. While we can't control the events that occur, we certainly can control our responses to them. Stoicism is rooted in knowing and internalizing the difference between things we can change and those we can't. The act of complaining, especially about things beyond our grasp, is a futile practice that saps our energy and time. It changes into a perpetual state of dissatisfaction.
In a real-world setting, imagine the workplace. We've all encountered colleagues who spend a lot of time lamenting decisions made by higher-ups or changes in business policies rather than adapting and finding ways to work with the new parameters. Not only does this constant complaining affect their work and peace of mind, but it also creates a negative environment for those around them.
To combat this anti-Stoic behavior, one could heed the wisdom of Epictetus. We should always be asking ourselves: "Is this something that is or is not in my control?" When faced with such situations, instead of voicing discontent, a more Stoic approach would be to ask: "How can I adapt to this, or what can I learn from this situation?" By doing so, we reclaim our power and maintain our inner peace, ensuring that we remain unswayed by external events, no matter how unpredictable they might be.
Habit number two is seeking external approval. Imagine yourself working on a project for weeks, putting your heart and soul into it. Once complete, instead of feeling proud of your success, you find yourself constantly checking for likes, comments, or any form of acknowledgment on social media. Or perhaps you've bought a new outfit, and instead of wearing it because it makes you feel confident, you're seeking praise to validate your choice.
In our digital age, this need for outward validation is amplified. Social media platforms live on our human desire for affirmation, making it easy to fall into the trap of quantifying our self-worth with metrics like followers, likes, or shares. This, however, is a shaky foundation to build one's self-esteem upon, as these numbers are fleeting and often affected by factors out of our control.
Practically speaking, depending on external validation is like being on a seesaw. One day you're up because of the praise and attention, and the next you're plummeting down due to a lack of it, or worse, abuse. This volatile emotional roller coaster stops us from having a consistent sense of self-worth and peace.
The Stoic method would be to seek validation from within. Stoicism teaches us that self-worth should be anchored in our virtues, deeds, and personal growth rather than the fickle opinions of others. As Epictetus wisely stated: "It's not what happens to you but how you react to it that matters." This means that the true measure of our worth isn't the praise or criticism we receive from others but how we evaluate and feel about our own actions and decisions.
To embody this Stoic principle, the next time you find yourself wanting validation...