NERD WARS: Thor vs. Kratos -- Who Would Win?
Hey everybody! It's the wacky Gamers. Okay, Adam's lame but it's us! It's Jeff and Adam. I'm Adam and we're here to do another versus video. Yes, we are! A lot of people seem to like them, so we're going to keep going. But this time, it's another user suggestion. Keep posting user suggestions!
Yes! Let's, well, let's say some of the user suggestions that they sent us, Jeff. Okay, so one of the ones they gave us was Harry Potter versus Percy Jackson. It's kind of interesting. That was Badani. Yep, we decided it would end up in a make out session between the two because the two of them would just go for each other.
The next one: Mr. Freeze versus Subzero. That was from Geekam. That was a pretty good idea, but we decided that they're just too icy cold for us. But it was a cool idea, thank you for posting it! And the last one we wanted to call out, that we won't do but we thought was cool, is Kratos versus Punisher. That was interesting. We argued about it for a while and then ended up in a fight. Mega Man would win! Mega Man would win!
The one we're going to do today, also from X Nemesis, is Kratos versus Thor. But before that, I want to talk about what happened the last time. So we did Bowser versus the Hulk. Bowser versus the Hulk. You want to tell him what we found out about the Hulk, Jeff?
Jeff: Uh, argument for why Bowser would win was basically centered around the fact that the Incredible Hulk can get hurt by fire.
Adam: Well, unfortunately, Stan Lee listened to our podcast. Not really. Someone who knows Stan Lee listened and asked Stan, and Stan said the Hulk is immune to Fireballs. Immune to Fireballs! Which I said okay, so we're going to give that one to the Hulk.
Regardless of the comments, we're just going to have to throw that one out. Iron Man versus Master Chief was much more debated. The user spoke, and it seems that Master Chief has the edge, especially if you consider Tony Stark and Master Chief outside of their, um, I wouldn't say costumes but their armor. Their armor!
Yeah, anyway. Now onto the task at hand.
Alright, Thor versus Kratos! Thor versus Kratos! You want to take video games again, and I'm going to take comic book, 'cause this time they're going to win heartily again, like Master Chief style. Let's hear it! Go ahead, throw down the gauntlet!
Jeff: No, I want to hear your bull crap.
Adam: You want to hear my bull crap? Go ahead. Alright, well, uh, Thor, as we all know, is the God of Thunder.
Jeff: You mean Fabio in a Viking helmet!
Adam: See, you're going to interrupt me when I'm talking! First off, Fabio is a strong man! Did you see him hit? Like, if Thor can take a goose to the face the same way Fabio did, no question about it, Thor wins! If Fabio took a dick to the face like Thor does, no doubt Kratos is going to kick his ass.
Jeff: Thor has never taken a dick to the face!
Adam: Thor is so powerful he once reconstructed the moon. Can you say that about Kratos?
Jeff: That wouldn't help you in a fight! Sure, you make a moon, and then you throw it at somebody, but you got to make the moon! Meanwhile, Kratos just sliced your head off!
Adam: Thor has the Hammer of the Gods!
Jeff: The Blades of Exile!
Adam: Boo! Whatever! The Hammer of the God! He's got one hammer of a god which it's a freaking hammer! I mean seriously, could you come up with a lamer weapon? No sharp edges, it's just a war object!
Jeff: A blunt object! Actually, the back of the hammer has a blade on it!
Adam: Not in any picture I ever saw!
Jeff: I'm going to show you a UL picture!
Adam: Picture! Picture! Picture! Picture! Picture!
Jeff: Oh, so we're not counting the back picture! Kratos never had a lame weapon!
Adam: Now it's a single lame weapon! He took the weapons from every God in the Greek pantheon. Every God! Every God!
Jeff: He's got the power of Hermes, which is kind of gay, um, I will say. But he's the God of War!
Adam: Okay, so his sole purpose in life is to kick some ass!
Jeff: So your argument is that he has, uh, the power of Hermes?
Adam: No! All meaning that he can run fast!
Jeff: He's got the Blade of Ares!
Adam: Here's the thing, here's the thing! With the running fast, actually Thor is so fast he was able to build trenches before Quicksilver, the fastest Marvel character, could get there!
Jeff: It doesn't matter! Bam! He's faster than Quicksilver! And I'll tell you this: what speed going to do for you when Kratos just whoops your ass, calls the spirits of the dead, and just kicks your ass!
Adam: Here's a little not fact: uh, Thor is like the most powerful Marvel character there is! He's the fucking closest thing to a superhero!
Jeff: Kratos is the most badass video game character of all time!
Adam: Well, no doubt he is! He killed every Greek God and he been killed multiple times and crawled his ass back out of Hades and just whooped some more ass!
Jeff: Oh, if we're going to talk about being killed! Every single Marvel character has been killed multiple times! He needs to eat Golden Apples to be immortal!
Adam: Just stays immortal forever!
Jeff: Well, you know what? Golden Apples? How fucking lame is that? You know what? Oh, you know what? Halfway through, I win!
Adam: No, you don't! Here's why you don't win! Because halfway through the fight with Thor, Kratos would have to stop and solve a stupid boring puzzle that he can't figure out because the camera angle never changes!
Jeff: Thor wins!
Adam: Yeah? You think the Thor game's going to be any better?
Jeff: The Thor game is going to be flawless! The Thor game is based on a freaking movie, which is going to be terrible because that's how most comic book movies end up!
Adam: I don't know if you saw the Daredevil movie!
Jeff: Wait a minute! But, no, wait a minute! There are a lot of good comic book movies!
Adam: You know what would be a terrible movie? Kratos: God of War-the movie!
Jeff: No, it wouldn't!
Adam: Yes, it would!
Jeff: No, it wouldn't!
Adam: It would be as good as the Resident Evil movie!
Jeff: Exactly! That's what I said! Kratos would just get out! His sole purpose in life, he doesn't care about other people. He could care less if he destroys the planet, destroying Thor! But Thor would be, oh, someone's going to get hurt! One of my poor Nordic friends is going to get hurt!
Jeff: Kratos, no! Go ahead and kill the fucking!
Adam: No, here's the thing! Kratos has no friends and no allies! Whereas Thor has the entire Pantheon!
Jeff: He doesn't! Because he kills them all and steals their powers!
Adam: If Thor had any coones he would have killed all the Asgardians and taken their powers!
Jeff: Look, I've played God of War! The powers aren't really that useful! The weapons are the most useful thing! The powers kind of suck!
Adam: The weapons are what he took from all the other gods!
Jeff: Because you clearly didn't play the game!
Adam: I played the game! From Hermes you get running!
Jeff: Yeah, and from, uh, what you get from Ares? A bow and arrow!
Adam: Okay! He also fucked Aphrodite! I'm just saying he did!
Jeff: Well, alright, so we're agreeing it was Kratos.
Adam: Okay, Kratos gets more action but I think Thor would win!
Jeff: I totally disagree!
Adam: Yeah, me too! Kratos killed all the fucking gods!
Jeff: Yeah, I win!
Adam: Of course! Of course! The first time one succeeded in these arguments! And well, you know, I had to put up a fight but seriously, he's killed every God!
Jeff: You know? Okay! We'll have another one! Don't forget to post! I know this ending is kind of lame, but don't forget to post the ones you want down below!
We will get to them! We will argue them stupidly just like we do these ones! And we will call out your good ones if you post them and we decide not to argue them!
Jeff: Give me! Give me! Give me!
Adam: I still think Thor would win!
Jeff: Actually, why do you think Thor's going to win?
Adam: Adam likes Fabio 'cause he's kind of gay!
Jeff: You just have sympathy for bald people!
[Laughter]