How to Apologize Like an Influencer

The apology video is a rite of passage for almost every influencer with a decent following. For people like you and me, public cancellation is usually nothing but a short-lived spectacle. But for an influencer, it's an occupational hazard with potentially disastrous results. Being caught up in public shaming or humiliation, warranted or not, has become a career milestone for those making their life a never-ending public extravaganza. So, if you want to be a social media sensation, you have to prepare for it.

This is how to apologize like an influencer. But before you apologize, you first have to find something scandalous to do. Maybe it's sharing videos of a deceased person on your live stream or locking all your content behind a paywall and gaslighting fans who can't afford yet another subscription. A big thing to worry about here isn't committing a crime—or at least one that can be proven in court—because you can't apologize from prison; it doesn't fit the aesthetic, I'm afraid.

Once you have the right scandal and you're receiving backlash from all your haters—because, of course, anyone who dares to criticize you must be a hater and has absolutely nothing of value to say—it's time to drop that banger apology video. To create this, you must first understand why it's so important. After all, so many Hollywood stars have done more heinous things and they've never felt the need to apologize. I'm looking at you, A.R. Walberg and Mike Tyson.

So, why is it different for the influencer? As an influencer, your job is to share your life online. Whether you're producing makeup tutorials or gaming guides, your personality is at the core of what you're selling. You're creating a parasocial relationship with your audience. This isn't really something you can control; it's pretty much part of the job. No matter how many boundaries you set up, your truest fans will become personally attached to you, no matter the kind of content you make.

Think about it: you're with them when they're eating dinner or folding laundry, and they watch you when they feel lonely. Of course, they're going to develop a parasocial relationship and think of you as their friend. This is the main difference between influencers and what we would consider to be more traditional stars. These are the people who have always been unreachable. You generally only see them when they're doing what they're famous for, whether starring in a movie or performing their hit song.

With influencers, you see even the most mundane things they do, which makes the bond between creator and audience closer and deeper. But this relationship can get messy because we're all humans, and humans are flawed. As an influencer, though, you're placed on a pedestal because of the highlights of your life that you have decided to share. So when you do something that contradicts the audience's perception of you, however big or small the offense, those people will ensure you are aware of it.

Just like a real friendship, you must come forward to explain yourself. Why did you mock that corpse in your travel blog? Did you knowingly sell contaminated lipstick? Racist photos or homophobic tweets from your past? Animal mistreatment? Being rude at the drive-thru? Being caught using a slur? Angry moms will prepare their hot takes and trolls will storm YouTube comments. Death threats ensue, and doxing and harassment will follow you like a black cloud. Your biggest fans will try to defend you, but only on one condition: apologize.

Before we talk about that, I want to take a moment to thank Cogy, the sponsor of today's episode. If there's anyone that needs to apologize to the entire Internet, it's data brokers. These companies buy up all your data from all over the web and use it to create a profile of you, including all of your personal information like your phone number and home address. They then sell this profile to companies who are trying to sell you things, some of which might be scammers. If you're wondering how shady companies always seem to have all your correct info, it's these data brokers. The good news is that they're required by law to delete all the information...