NERD WARS: WTF Suggestions!
Hey hey Jeff, you like my new hairstyle? Okay, this is the new Nerd Wars. Hey, I'm the new sexy Adam! And in honor of Adam's, uh, ridiculous fastic hairdo, we're going to do a Nerd Wars WTF Edition. A lot of you guys have put some Nerd Wars that are just WTF, so, uh, we're going to start off.
This one came from Family Clock. It's Dora the Explorer versus Justin Bieber, and in his comment, he put a question mark after Explorer, so I'm not sure if he's unclear whether she's Explorer or whether it's, did I get her? Maybe she's Dora the PIR ignor, who knows?
Okay, so I'm gonna take Dora, you're gonna take Justin Bieber. Go! Well, I win! Done! Okay, no, we got to argue this. Justin Bieber, number one, only has one superpower: to attract prepubescent girls. And here's why: Dora the Explorer would be sucked into his web. Dora would just be like, "What's up, Justin?" Shank! Done! End of discussion.
Okay, next one. Next one we're going to do, uh, me, Jammer, me, I don't know, Meam, Meer, whatever. Darth Vader, pretty epic, versus Captain Kirk. Seriously, I'm gonna have to go with Captain Kirk! Of course, Captain Kirk would kick Darth Vader's ass! I'm going to beat you, Vader! Scotty, stop him from choking me! Bad Kirk impression. Spock, what should I do?
Okay, the next one. Uh, well wait, let's talk about Darth Vader. We G, get these quick! People don't want to hear long and the what the... Alright, I don't know! Do you—oh, regardless, we're doing it this way! You can put it in the comments.
The next one, uh, Jack McGuire 24 posted a World of Warcraft level 80 Paladin versus Dr. Manhattan. Bam! This is an easy one! Yeah, Dr. Manhattan would dominate! And why? Because one, look at that giant penis, and your average World of Warcraft player would go right offline. He wasn't saying the player though; he was saying the Paladin!
Yeah, the Paladin would be right, and the only way the Paladin's going to win this fight is if he makes Dr. Manhattan so bored by farming freaking rugged leather that Dr. Manhattan just kills himself! Yeah, or causes himself to cease to exist! Yeah, that would be the only way to be able to do it!
Yeah, otherwise, I don't know what you were on when you wrote this. If you have any more, send it our way! We love them! We do love it, but Dr. Manhattan's kind of a God, and he is hung like a donkey! Banjo Gate sent us, uh, Unicron from the Transformers versus Galactus! For those of you who don't know, Unicron is a planet-sized Transformer. Well, he is a planet, he's a planet that's a Transformer!
And for those, he transforms from a planet to a planet with a face! Yeah, whereas Galactus is, uh, you might not know his surname, Eater of Worlds! Yep! Okay, next is Tears of EP! Wait, we got one more! Uh, the Ninja Turtles versus Pizza! I'm G to have to go with the pizza on this one! The pizza, definitely! They're going to, at the end of the day, they're going to eat the pizza!
And, and diarrhoea definitely. Unicron, Unicron and the pizza! Okay, Tears of Absolution has the Foot Clan from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles versus the Hand from Marvel. Now, I think on the surface, seems like, alright! They're two groups of Ninja Assassin kind of guys! But the Foot is made up of robotic Androids!
That the Foot is made up of [ __ ] robotic Androids that blow up when hit with a stick! Yeah, once you know, Michelangelo started just using a rope with a hook at the end, still blew up! The foot soldiers! Got to give it to the Hand! Hand, it's, yeah, they're organic! What do you want? We're going to have to give it to bio-organisms until machines!
Until we hit the time of like, maybe Terminator, then we'll give it to the robots! Around, around 2015! Okay, Johnar! He's such a conspiracy! Johnar! This I think is the best WTF of the whole list! WTF! Pac-Man versus Captain America!
Yeah, clearly! Shield dead Pac-Man would win! What? Well, Captain America's from the 1940s! He couldn't even figure out how to use Pac-Man! The technology is too advanced for him! Pac-Man wins! Uh, and I'm going to have to say, somehow Captain America existed through all these other universes and did just fine! Adam, stupid!
Okay, next argument! Mogal Liz, Mogul Liz 2800! This is the final one! Uh, Peach versus Zelda! Princess Peach versus Princess Zelda! Both heroines in video games! Heroines not really! More damsel in distress! Yeah, just lazy jerks always waiting!
This is usually what you get! The two of them together and they'd be like, "Well, no! Hey, if you called Link!" "Well no, um, I thought maybe Mario was going to stop by!" "You want to get raped by Bowser?" "Alright, well, Ganon's already here! Are you sure you don't want to?"
"Well, let's just sit in this dungeon, let's do a four-way!" Seriously, this isn't even a fight! Yeah, it's a two-bit fight if I've ever seen one! Huh? Huh? Too bad fight! Oh God, I so want to smack him! That was pretty good! Anyway, keep posting them!
Uh, don't get offended if we make fun of yours! They're just stupid! Yeah, we're just have—oh! We're just having fun! We're just having fun! But we do like your suggestions! We should tell them! Even with your bad suggestions, it does get us talking for like hours on end!
So, please keep sending them! Because we have nothing to say to each other anymore! Yeah, it's true! And what hasn't been said about Adam being fat and Jess [Music] bald?