How to get over your FEAR…this is what I was afraid of

What's up, you guys? It's Graham here. So today, I'm going to be making a video about fear and why it took me 3 years just to get up the courage to upload a video onto YouTube. Because when I hear myself saying that, I realize it sounds [ __ ] ridiculous. And that's because it is [ __ ] ridiculous. So I'm going to be addressing that because I feel like it's something that a lot of people struggle with. I'm going to give my thoughts and my experiences on this.

First of all, I think it's completely normal for people to want to stay within the comfort zone and not really do anything that would damage their self-worth, their ego, or really put them at risk in any sort of way mentally. And again, I think it's completely normal. I think we naturally just want to stay in our little safe bubble that we know, where really nothing bad can happen to us when we're in it. Unfortunately, when you're in a place like that, you just get complacent and you don't really grow as a person.

What happens when you do that is you just tend to stagnate. Success, by the way, to me is like climbing up a mountain, except the mountain is really muddy. So, it takes a lot more work to get up than, let's say, a normal mountain. You want to get to the top of the mountain, and you're climbing up, you're putting in a lot of work, and you get most of the way there, and then you realize, wait a second, the view from right here is pretty nice. I don't need to be at the very top. This is really — I'm fine where I am.

You guys, really, I'm totally cool. I'm just going to chill here, not really do anything. I'm just going to post up here. There's really—I'm pretty happy here. You know, all those people up there? [ __ ] them! Look how hard they worked. [ __ ] that! I don't need all of that. I'm really cool just like right here, you guys, so I'm just going to chill, kind of take it easy.

Okay, cool, that's fine. But what happens is, because of your weight and because the mountain's so muddy, you slowly start to slide back, and you don't even realize it because it's happening so slowly. But over time, you start to slide back because you're not doing anything to improve yourself. And with your weight and the muddiness of the mountain, you start to slide back. It's so slow, and it's so gradual, and you don't even realize that you're sliding back until you look back years later, and you've slid down that mountain.

All of a sudden, you realize, I used to be up there, but I'm not anymore. Except by "up there," I mean all the opportunities that you passed up, that you haven't taken advantage of because you were too scared to do it. You don't realize it until years later and you see all the regrets that you have and the opportunities you should have taken.

Think of the people, by the way, that you look up to. Like, let's say, for instance, Elon Musk. Do you really think that he was like, "I'm too scared to do Tesla, you guys. Maybe we shouldn't do it"? Or do you really think Arnold Schwarzenegger was too scared to be judged for a bodybuilding competition? Like, [ __ ] no! They didn't give a [ __ ].

And that's what I've noticed too. A lot of the really successful people out there just don't give a [ __ ] about anything. If they see something they really want, they just go for it. If they see something that they want to do, they just [ __ ] do it. They don't sit around worrying and being concerned about what other people are going to think of them for doing it; they just [ __ ] do it. They don't even think about it.

That's the mentality that you need to have, that we should all have. And that's what happens when you start doing things that you're uncomfortable with. Your mind slowly starts to rewire itself, and your brain starts to associate things that are scary, things that you're nervous about, with things that I did and nothing bad happened. Some amazing things happened because of it, and I got these huge rewards and these highs, essentially, from doing things that I was just afraid of doing.

That's what starts to happen. Your mind starts to rework itself, and all of a sudden, everything that you're afraid of, your mind starts to associate with, "I was afraid of it, did it, nothing bad happened." Actually, great things happened because of it. Now, everything scary in the future I'm going to automatically associate with great things happened because I did something I was afraid of.

That's what you want to do. Unfortunately, for most people, their brain will justify whatever belief they have. So if you have a certain belief about something, your mind will do all the mental gymnastics it needs to make sure you continue to believe in that thing. Like if you believe the world is flat, for instance, and you truly believe in that, your identity is around you believing the world is flat, and it's not.

If someone proves to you scientifically that the world is not flat, your brain will come up with every single reason and handpick every reason that you've ever experienced in your life for you to believe the world is flat. You'll just straight up deny anything else because your image is surrounded by your belief. That if you're proven otherwise and you're wrong about something you truly believed in, your entire image is shattered.

Because what about all the other things that you believe in? Are those wrong too? Because you were wrong on this one, does that mean you're wrong on everything else? And your brain [ __ ] with you. But again, when you start to ignore that and you start to do things anyway just because you want to do it, because you don't give a [ __ ], that's when your mind really starts to work for you instead of against you.

Because as of right now, most people are their own worst enemy. Usually, the only person holding you back tends to be yourself. I know for myself that I held me back from doing a lot of things that I really wanted to do, YouTube being one of them. I remember about 3 years ago, I saw Rob Dom make a video about his Lamborghini, and that really inspired me to make YouTube videos. That's part of the reason why I really wanted to get into YouTube 3 years ago.

I wanted to do it really badly, but in my mind, I immediately started thinking about it. I thought, "Well, [ __ ], you know, I don't have a Lamborghini, so nobody's going to really care about what I have to say because I don't have a Lamborghini. I only have a Lotus, so like that's not a Lamborghini. Like I don't even have a Ferrari, so like nobody's going to give a [ __ ] about what I thought."

That sounds [ __ ] ridiculous when you think about it now, but in my mind, those are the mental gymnastics that I was doing to justify these things. Even if I got the Lamborghini, my mind would still do mental gymnastics to make me believe that I wasn't good enough. It would be like, "Well, Grae, you have the Lamborghini, but now you don't have the Canon 5D Mark II camera, so you shouldn't be doing YouTube videos until you get that."

Even if I got the camera, I would start to believe, "Well, now I don't have the lighting or audio equipment, so I should probably wait until I do that." And it's just going to continue until you get to the deep-rooted issue, where I was afraid of putting myself out there, of being judged and not being good enough to do something.

And that's some really deep shift, by the way, that I'm sharing with all of you guys. I don't know how many views this is going to get, but seriously, that's what it came down to. That I didn't believe I was worthy or good enough of doing YouTube videos, and I'd come up with whatever excuse I needed to justify that to avoid dealing with the real issue that I was dealing with.

I could have the Lamborghini, I could have the audio equipment, I could have the light—everything. I could have everything lined up, and my mind would still be like, "Yeah, you should probably wait a little bit longer." The turning point for me was just like 2 months ago, where I was sliding down that hill.

I saw myself doing that, and I looked up, and I saw, [ __ ]! 3 years ago, I should be doing this. I didn't do it. I should have done it. I regret doing this so much. Why am I going to put it off any longer? Let's just [ __ ] do it!

Since uploading this 2 months ago, that video now has over 11,000 views. I've been getting over 100 subscribers a day. I get about 100 messages a day. That's from [ __ ] that I put off three years ago. Think of it this way: If I didn't take the initiative to make that video, you guys wouldn't be watching me right now. You'd probably be watching like, "Ty Lopez" or something.

Because I took this risk, you're here right now. You're watching my channel, and hopefully, I'm having some sort of impact on you because I took that risk and showing you guys that it's really not so scary to do something that you're nervous or worried about. That you should just go out and [ __ ] do it because it really doesn't matter what other people think. Just ignore everybody!

You are your own worst enemy, and you need to get out of your head and just [ __ ] do it anyway because that's the only way you're really going to accomplish anything in life. I hope this helps for whoever's watching this. If they're thinking about doing something, they're thinking about starting a YouTube channel or do whatever it is—it doesn't [ __ ] matter!

You're thinking about doing something, and you're scared of doing it because you're worried what people might think of you? Just [ __ ] do it! That's you getting in your head. That's you sabotaging yourself, and you need to get over it and just [ __ ] do it anyway. Because that's the only way that you're going to achieve anything in life, is just by doing things that you're afraid of.

Otherwise, you're just going to be completely average. You're going to be mediocre, and you're going to just waste this amazing life that was given to you. So just go out and [ __ ] do it! Again, you guys, thank you for everybody that's subscribed, that watches these videos, that enjoys these videos. Thank you to everybody for being a part of this channel. It really means so much to me, and I'm so glad I'm able to help so many people out and inspire them and motivate them to do [ __ ] like that.

That is so new to me that I never thought of my [ __ ] as being inspirational or anything like that, but I'm glad it is, and I'm so glad that a lot of people are benefiting a lot from these videos. And again, I'm never going to try to sell you anything. I'm not trying to pitch any products, or there's no ulterior motive here. I just enjoy making these videos; I enjoy helping people, and it's cool to get these messages.

So, as always, you guys, thank you so much for watching. If you're not already subscribed, subscribe because I'm going to be releasing a lot more real estate videos and car videos coming up, so you definitely don't want to miss out on that.

If you want to, by the way, add me on Snapchat. I post a lot of funny [ __ ] on Snapchat throughout the day, including a Ty Lopez parody. So one of the questions I get asked the most often is, "How do you earn six figures?" Well, I'll tell you. It's very easy. You get 100,000 people to each give you $1, or you get 50,000 people to give you $2.

In fact, it's so easy to do that I'm going to share with you guys exactly how I did it, and I'm only going to charge you $50 a month for the next 30 years. You can't afford not to do this! But before you do anything, let me show you my Lamborghini downstairs. Oh, and uh, this is my $300,000 kitchen right there. Oh, and this is my very... I think I'm going to be making a video about that, by the way.

So I think you guys will want to add me on Snapchat, and uh, that's it. If you have any comments, suggestions, whatever [ __ ], comment down below, let me know, and uh, that's it. Till next [Music] time. [Music]