Master Stoicism in 60 Minutes: The Philosophy That Will Change Your Life
What if you wake up tomorrow morning to the shocking revelation that everything you've ever worked for — all your savings, investments, retirement plans, and everything else — is completely wiped out overnight? You've gone from having it all and living lavishly to not being able to afford even the roof over your head or a warm meal. What would you do? How would you react? Would you have the resolve to pick up the pieces of your life and start all over, or will the pain of loss be too much for you to bear?
In the city of Cypress, in 300 BC, a wealthy trader named Zeno was forced to face this tragedy. While sailing from Phoenicia to Pyi, his boat sank and with it, his entire fortune. In an instant, Zeno went from being a wealthy merchant to being one of the poorest in the land, through no fault of his own. In the face of this extreme tragedy, Zeno remained calm. Upon drawing inspiration from the works of Socrates and other great philosophers before him, he created and taught the philosophy of stoicism.
It's been 2,000 years since Zeno started teaching his philosophy, and even though the core message remains the same, it has seen some changes over the centuries. This is the entire history of stoicism from Zeno to the modern day.
Control. When you hear that word, what do you feel? Maybe a sense of tension, a sense of hanging on, perhaps a sense of fear. Because deep down, we know that so much is out of our control, no matter how much we might want to will things into or out of existence. That lack of control feels ever-present, all-consuming. We try to take control of our lives over and over again. At the beginning of a new year, we make resolutions to work out more, eat healthier, talk to friends more often, maybe call more often. Whatever it is, we try to assert some element of control over our lives when the clock strikes midnight on January 1st.
But we all know that usually by like March, so many of those goals we set and expectations we put on ourselves have waned or evaporated altogether. One major hurdle that gets in our way is a lack of willpower. Even if you are the most determined individual or you consider yourself highly motivated, willpower is finite. At the beginning of the year, your willpower feels like it's at an all-time high, but as the days and months go by, it drains. Before you know it, healthy food becomes junk food and gym memberships go unused.
The strong arm we use to make a change weakens. When we do have the mental strength to keep going, we're usually stopped or at the very least slowed down by forces that are out of our control. Like Zeno, our proverbial boat capsizes, and there's nothing we can do about it. Your air conditioning stops working on a hot summer day, you get blindsided by a breakup, you lose your job. Moments like this, big or small, can stop us from pursuing our goals because they're unexpected. That lack of control can feel paralyzing.
But what if we learn to expect and accept the unexpected? Speaking of learning, I want to take a moment to thank the sponsor of today's video, Brilliant.org, the best place to learn everything STEM-related. The stoics took learning very seriously. In fact, the word stoicism literally translates to "Painted porch" because the early stoics would gather in open porches to teach and be taught. They didn't relegate stoic teachings to the four walls of a school or the palace courtyards because they believed everyone should be given access to knowledge.
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Back to our story. We don't get sad because bad things happen to us. We get sad because unexpected bad things happen to us. Think about the last time you got caught outside in the rain. It might have been unpleasant, but rarely are we thrown into a fit of rage about it. That's because we know that rain is a part of life. Sure, it might ruin our daily routine of "touching grass" or delay a package that's being delivered, but we don't feel too bad about it because we can expect rain.
What if we treat every stressful and derailing moment in our life just like rain? Unpleasant, but not the end of the world. This is the primary message that stoicism teaches and has taught for generations. It outlines for us the difference between experiencing a setback and being completely destabilized by one. It removes that frantic reaction we often have where we ask ourselves, "why me?" and redirects our focus towards what needs to be done to keep moving forward in pursuit of our vision.
Life, surprisingly, isn't a sprint; it's a marathon. Stoicism can help us adopt a mindset that focuses on the process without worrying so much about the end goal. It can help us be okay with the lack of control we have. If we can picture the worst outcome, we become content knowing that it could happen. We're more prepared. Stoics call this practice voluntary discomfort.
In the time of Zeno, this practice involved wearing rags and eating nothing but potatoes. Today, it looks like taking cold showers, eating bland food, or taking a break from other modern comforts like your devices or social media. Withstanding uncomfortable situations, even small ones, teaches us that we can get through life's difficulties. And who knows? We might even thrive despite the circumstances.
The truth is that the universe is bound to throw uncomfortable and even harsh events our way. Stoicism accepts that reality but gives us a way to cope with it and even potentially find freedom in it. It takes us from being vulnerable to the universe's chaos to feeling calm and sometimes indifferent. If we live by stoic principles, we can feel fortified to live more peacefully, a more accepting state.
For stoics, this all comes back to defining what we can and can't control. If we focus on what is within our control, we will find liberation from the things that are not. At the heart of the philosophy is the idea that the only thing we are really in control of is our reactions and emotions to any specific event. We are, however, not in control of the event itself.
Now sure, we might be able to influence what happens. We can work extra hard at the office if we feel we're on the verge of being laid off. We can go do couples counseling if our relationship is in danger. But what ultimately comes out of any situation is separate from the effort we might put into it. Misfortunes are inevitable.
You can think of this as a dog attached to a leash. If the dog wants to follow whoever is holding it, it will. If the dog doesn't want to, it gets dragged along. The universe will move forward irrespective of your actions. You can either trot steadily along, not putting too much pressure on the next move, or you can resist and get dragged through life in a rather cruel way. We are all attached to the universe by a metaphorical leash. Stoics run with it.
They do this by improving the inner self, and the inner self is the only thing we truly have control over: our emotions, reactions, and interpretations of the world. We own these. We own our actions in response to the twists and turns of our lives. After Zeno came Epictetus, a name which literally translates to "acquired," as he was once owned as a slave. Then there was Seneca, a well-renowned statesman forced to kill himself by his once friend, Nero, a ruthless emperor who suspected many close to him were conspiring against him.
But perhaps the most famous stoic of all was Marcus Aurelius. Aurelius was the Roman Emperor from 161 to 180 AD. Under his rule, the empire experienced a black wave of death that was the plague of Galen. The result of a missile outbreak, this killed millions of people and nearly led to the end of the Roman Empire. But it didn't. In fact, under Aurelius, the empire thrived despite the economic crisis, ruthless invasions, and the ravaging pandemic.
It is during these times of distress that leaders are tested, and Aurelius passed the test laid before him with flying colors. During trying times, Aurelius, a stoic and one of the last five good emperors of Rome, set his ego aside. Unlike many emperors before him, he surrounded himself with skilled public servants instead of aristocrats. He then empowered these servants to make informed decisions in their areas of expertise.
For example, he relied on physicians to handle the fast-spreading plague while he focused on putting a handle on the empire's economic crisis. Most of all, he practiced self-control and inspired the people to be calm. If you've ever been in a situation where a group of people are in crisis — say, your family, a group of friends, or at work — you know that there has to be at least one person with a cool head who can calm everyone down and prevent the situation from spiraling. That's what a stoic does.
Aurelius also relied on his stoic beliefs when his former general, Cassius, attempted to overthrow him. Aurelius didn't get angry but instead gave the defector a chance to come to his senses. When Cassius didn't, Aurelius captured him but showed mercy and spared his life. Pretty unusual for politics in the Roman Empire. This same kind of restraint appeared centuries later when another famous stoic, Nelson Mandela, was freed 27 years after being imprisoned following the end of apartheid in South Africa in 1990.
Rather than prosecuting the officials who put him in jail after he became president a short time later, Mandela forgave them and pledged to help the country move on. No matter what era they came from, these students of stoic philosophy didn't allow their emotions to guide their judgments. They calmed nervous citizens and relied on their principles as a guideline in the face of life's biggest challenges.
From the emperor of Rome to the president of South Africa, you know these individuals faced some pretty insane challenges. Aurelius's personal journals were compiled into a book called "Meditations." This book offers some lasting insight into how to be wise in making decisions, remain just in our judgments, be brave in our actions, and be temperate in everything we do. It preaches a life of self-control, discipline, and modesty, and it's as relevant today as it was in ancient Rome.
Aurelius, Mandela, and other stoics throughout time have been guided by stoicism's four main virtues: wisdom, courage, temperance, and justice. Wisdom is our ability to separate between what is internal and what is external. It's the skill of choosing the right reactions to whatever happens to you. You can think of wisdom as the space between what occurs and our response. Sometimes we get minutes, maybe even days, to think about how we'll react to something. Sometimes you only get a split second. Wisdom allows us to take control of ourselves during that period, no matter how long it lasts.
Courage is how well we can persist and resist when obstacles get in our way. It's easy to give in to them, to think we're destined for destruction. But courage is what gets us through that negative mindset. Courage is the faith we foster in ourselves and others to keep going. We can stare straight into the eyes of the struggle and resist the urge to let it control us.
Temperance is our ability to do more with less. How can we say more with fewer words? How can we have a greater impact with less effort and worry? We can also think of temperance as moderation. Stoicism teaches that the limit of our wealth should be what is essential and what is enough. To strive for mass riches or to live lavishly is contrary to the virtue of temperance. You'll never see a stoic striving solely for money or power; you'll see them striving for equality.
This leads us to justice, the most important stoic principle in Aurelius's opinion, but also the hardest to adhere to. Justice tells us not to harm another because we're all born for each other. One needs to look no further than the ability of Aurelius or Mandela to not seek pain for those who cause pain to them. In these extreme examples, they didn't call for the heads of the wrongdoers but urged others to move on towards more important goals.
In our everyday lives, justice might look like not gossiping about someone or congratulating a triumphant competitor on a game well played. Justice is all about finding a way forward and remembering that these external forces, including people, are beyond our control. In case you haven't caught on yet, the idea of control is at the core of stoic philosophy.
Stoics operate under an idea called the dichotomy of control, which tells us that we must separate what we can control from what we can't. Finding value in our life comes from what we can control. And while having goals is an admirable and important trait, breaking down along the way when those goals don't seem to be panning out is useless. The reality is that we can't control everything that happens to us, and we know that deep down, although we might try to resist the idea.
If you've ever been labeled a control freak or found yourself trying to will something into existence, you've experienced this kind of wasted energy. Rarely does trying to assert control over other people or external forces add any happiness to your life; instead, it usually does the opposite. True happiness and contentment can only come from within. Our internal self is the one piece of life over which we have total control.
The dichotomy of control helps remind us that when we focus on improving ourselves and controlling our reactions, we can live a virtuous life — or, as Marcus Aurelius put it, "Waste no time arguing what a good man should be; be one." So, according to the stoics, what does it take to be a good person?
Stoicism places a lot of emphasis on the importance of perception. It tells us that our thoughts determine the quality of our mind, and how we process those thoughts is completely within our control. Our perception of a situation is what it is to you. Say your car doesn't start, or your planned tax refund turns into you owing money instead. How can you perceive these obstacles differently? Can you resist the temptation to be angry or defeated? Because ultimately, these emotions don't accomplish anything.
Aurelius faced invasions from Germanic tribes and internal uprisings, but knew he couldn't alter the situation. His power came from how he perceived these difficult events. He didn't view them as the end-all-be-all; he viewed them for what they were — obstacles he had to overcome. And he did. Aurelius also employed his stoic principles to turn the other cheek to events and people. If somebody tried to kill you, like Cassius did to Aurelius, it's easy to want them dead.
A more realistic interpretation for your daily life could be thinking about somebody you know doesn't like you. It's understandable to not like them back, but what does that accomplish? All it does is foster negative energy within you that can affect how you approach other areas of life. Instead, can we take a note from Aurelius and Mandela and approach them with compassion and forgiveness?
The truth is that people will never meet our expectations, so instead of letting them evoke negative emotions from us, we can remember what is in our control: our perception of the situation and our reactions towards it. This will allow us to view obstacles as opportunities. We only need to look to the natural world to understand how to do this. Nature takes obstacles, works around them, incorporates itself into them, and grows.
Nature is pragmatic; it works with what it has, just like the stoics. Stoics don't shy away from life's challenges but rather embrace them. They recognize that struggle is essential to life and ultimately leads to success and evolution. This success is made possible by the way we perceive obstacles. If we look at something hard and resign to never recovering, we limit any opportunity to grow. Using a different approach, we can take that same hardship, like a difficult project or the loss of someone we love, and flip the script to view it as an opportunity to grow. We create something good out of something objectively bad.
It's foolish to try and avoid struggle and conflict. Instead, what if we used it to strengthen our character and ultimately accept our fate? Accepting fate might be one of the hardest concepts of stoicism. We all want to feel like we have some part in how our life unfolds — and we do — but that part only comes from the decisions we make about ourselves. Everything external is brought upon us, whether we like it or not.
Aurelius believed that to be a great person, one must accept their fate, no matter what that fate is. Stoicism told him that whatever situation we find ourselves in, we must love it. We must not only accept the events of our lives but we must wish for them to happen. We must want nothing to be different, better, or worse than it is. This allows you to live life without regret and ultimately die without regret either. Stoics embrace the idea of "memento mori," which translates to "remember you must die" in Latin.
This concept forces us to think about what we would do, say, or think if we died tomorrow. Would you have done things differently? Would you have something to express that you never got the chance to? Stoics don't see death as morbid but rather as a motivator to live a life of virtue and gratitude. Marcus Aurelius reflected on this fleeting nature of life. He thought of mortality as the biggest inspiration to live a great life, and his fate was ultimately one of good fortune. He led the Roman Empire through hardship to prosperity, knowing it could have easily gone the other way.
What do the trials and tribulations of people who lived millennia ago have to do with us? Though they were fighting some of the societal struggles we fight now, they, like us, had to learn what to fill their lives with to find happiness and freedom. Then and now, there was pressure to have the next best thing or make a certain amount of money. We're told we're destined to be unhappy if we don't achieve these arbitrary material benchmarks.
This idea isn't something we're necessarily born with; it's something we're taught through education and observation. Ultimately, it leads us to setting unrealistic expectations for our lives. Instead of focusing on these outward ones, what if we focus on improving ourselves for ourselves, not for the world around us? Because we all know that attaching external hope almost always leads to disappointment.
If you start dating someone and create scenarios of your future together after the first date, you're probably setting yourself up to be let down. Or if you think that buying a new car or a house or starting a family — if you're not ready — is going to solve some problem you're facing. The external, uncontrollable world will catch up with you. These external forces can always fail. The power can suddenly fail, natural disasters happen, and divorce is a common outcome for marriages.
That's not to say we shouldn't try to live the life we want, but the happiness we derive from that life shouldn't be contained in material things, events, or situations. Learning to live with less, literally and figuratively, creates space for the things that really matter. In modern society, we've become accustomed to judging our success by metrics beyond our control, like followers, views, likes. But it's not real value.
The real value is the work we put into our creative outlets, careers, relationships, and future. The only way we'll ever see that truth is if we trust the process of our life, without trying to exert control over what we know is uncontrollable. We can find internal peace and be content with who we are, what we have, and what happens to us. This is how stoicism can translate into modern life.
It can help us see that we get caught up in material things, expecting them to bring us joy. "The next purchase is what will make us happy," we might think. But then, if we can afford the purchase, we just feel bad about ourselves, like the universe doesn't want us to be happy. Deep down, we all know that material things only create temporary happiness. They flood us with dopamine, but we all know the rush doesn't last. When was the last time you got a new phone? If it was recently, how long until you'll have a craving for a new one? If it was a long time ago, how out of place do you feel when your phone doesn't have the same features as your friends?
Adopting a different, more stoic attitude towards purchases can help us escape this need for external items and situations to bring us happiness. We can practice voluntary discomfort, which in this case might look like holding on to the old phone a little bit longer. Or if you're too attached to it, leave the phone in the other room when you go to bed. If we just take away the easiest option, a new window of experience and opportunity will open. A new sense of self and a tolerance for discomfort will appear.
Just as we don't want to let external objects and our desire for them take away our self-control, stoicism also tells us to resist anger towards others. Since the crux of stoicism lies in our ability to control our reactions, it pushes us to resist putting too much energy into other people's actions. That time is better spent addressing our own minds. We should also refrain from assuming people mean harm. We should be prepared for when someone doesn't pull their weight. We can expect somebody will let us down.
What does stoicism tell us to do in reaction? Remain calm, to not give in to the anger bubbling up, because anger invites in more pain. Instead of showing anger towards somebody, could we show them understanding? This feels especially important to remember in our current divisive times. There's an ongoing culture war where both sides have an idea of what's right. If you take what's right out of the conversation, you just have a lot of anger floating around.
Take social media as a prime example. There is no space for genuine persuasion or conversation in any comment section. It might be entertaining to dip into condescension towards someone you disagree with, but it would be even better if you could extend an olive branch. Suppose you could resist the need to mock somebody else, which only holds us as a society back. Remaining emotionally indifferent, as stoics remind us, prepares us for the good and the bad things to happen.
We can take responsibility for our actions and reactions but see that the solutions to the biggest problems are far out of reach for most of us. So worrying about them, placing weight on them, or letting them affect our mood just wastes energy. Perhaps one of the biggest conversations around stoicism in our modern times is how stoic principles can help us achieve success at ever-fleeting financial freedom.
We come across many people who have the answers to all our financial problems. They say they're visionaries and we might roll our eyes at the get-rich-quick schemes, but even the most grounded of us might still consider their methods for a moment because we all want to be rich in some way or another. Except stoicism isn't there to get us rich. It's there to help us understand that by regulating our emotions regarding money, we can find more than financial freedom; we can find peace.
Look at somebody like Warren Buffett, a man worth $135 billion. He lives a simple life in Nebraska in the home he purchased 60 years ago. As his riches grew, he didn't let impulses and emotions lead him. He maintained control over his finances and found that true freedom came from removing any meaning he might have otherwise placed on money. Buffett has been able to free any control that money might have had on him throughout his long life. The sense of freedom allowed him to take measured risks.
Risk-taking can be uncomfortable and scary because it comes with the possibility of failure. By adopting stoic principles and changing our perception of what failure is, we can move beyond our fear. Responding to potential failure with indifference and acceptance makes us more resilient. This also allows us to disconnect our journey to our financial goals from the ultimate result of these goals. We can stay present as we navigate career relationships and the inevitable ebbs and flows of our finances.
Stoicism embraces the idea of "carpe diem," or seizing the day, and asks us to tune out distractions that take us off course. If we resist getting caught up in material things, we will find a life we can truly enjoy each day as its own little miracle. The guiding principles of stoicism can help us stay on track when it comes to our attitude towards money. Wisdom keeps us resourceful; it helps us weigh risks and make informed decisions.
If we think of wisdom as that space between an event and our reaction to it, it's the time when we decide how much control money is going to have over us. If we can remove that control and simply focus on moving forward, then true wisdom is at play. Courage allows us to take measured risks, like asking for a promotion or changing jobs. We've all been there, knowing we're making the right decision but not quite ready to jump off that cliff yet.
By embracing courage and trusting that we have control over our inner selves, we can take that leap, knowing that things will work out just as they were meant to. Temperance is simple: it's practicing self-control when it comes to spending money. The world is filled with temptation that wants to lure us in — a new pair of shoes, a piece of art that catches our eye, or a dog toy that we just know our four-legged best friend will love.
We live in a society that has placed so much value on material things that it can be almost impossible to resist. But stoicism teaches us that we can live happier lives with less. Justice is how we pay it forward when we get good luck and our investments pay off. Many people forget this part of life. It's easy to get the promotion or see your bank account hit a certain number and ride off into the sunset.
Stoics know that our attitudes and reactions can reverberate to those around us. If we don't take a moment to pay it forward when we experience success, we're missing the point of life. It's easy to feel emotional about money and equate our self-worth with how much money we have in the bank. The desire to be rich isn't going to make us richer; it's just going to make us unhappy.
Freedom, according to stoicism, isn't about wealth, objects, or achieving long-term goals. Freedom is about embracing what we can control and letting go of what we can't. We can't change world events, natural disasters, or politics, but we can evaluate our worth based on the effort we put into our lives. By embracing stoic principles, we can find direction towards self-confidence in a way that might otherwise seem impossible. Instead of feeling cheated by life, we can reframe our mindset.
That reframing can cascade into larger, more impactful changes down the line. Once we start training ourselves to focus on our internal self instead of the external world, which we have no control over, we can begin to live a life of acceptance. We won't cry over spilled milk; we'll learn to maintain composure, which in turn can calm those around us.
Remember, though, deep diving into stoicism isn't without its drawbacks. Stoic principles offer incredible guidance to become more measured, freer versions of ourselves, but when taken too far, they might lead to an emotionless life. Marcus Aurelius famously believed in remaining indifferent to any hardship that came before him, and that might have helped him remain calm and controlled. What is calm and controlled? Always the best way? Sometimes anger can be a great motivator.
If you've ever played a sport, you know that losing can be the fire you need to up your game. Perhaps anger shouldn't be the only motivator, but to discount it is to potentially discount a genuine piece of ourselves that needs to come out. Constant indifference also means we might miss out on the good things in life. Remaining detached from external events could make the world feel a bit meaningless. If the world around us doesn't have meaning, could that make it harder to find meaning within ourselves?
Stoic philosophy has persisted throughout history because it offers a framework to deal with the obstacles that every human faces. It's sage advice to possess, but it misses one important element of being a person: emotion is inevitable. Perhaps you can master the art of indifference, but is that staying true to who you are? If we are constantly in control of our reactions, we might never find moments of conflict that are imperative for growth.
If we spend all our time focusing on how we perceive the world, we might be missing the world altogether. In the end, as with anything, moderation seems to be the key. We can take principles from stoicism that can help us navigate life, but we can also remember that philosophies are malleable; they're not one size fits all. If you glean anything from stoic principles, perhaps it's this: the goal is to feel free. The goal is to feel happy, and your journey to these feelings is unique.
One small change lasts an eternity, and one small reframing of your mindset can cascade into larger and more impactful changes later down the line. The core of stoicism is the very definition of acceptance and indifference. After reading the works of Socrates and other great philosophers, Zeno created and taught stoicism. According to Zeno, although we don't have much control over what happens to us, we do have control over how it affects us, and we must use this control to great effect.
Rather than crying over spilled milk, or in this case, drowned goods, Zeno focused on maintaining his composure over the situation, remaining calm and neutral despite his predicament. Today, people inadvertently view stoics as people who cannot be broken; people who don't often linger to the emotional extremes, going through things like fits of rage or bouts of anxiety. But the original idea behind stoicism was much more than that. Rather than just a way to describe people who are unemotional, stoicism was a way to view, describe, and understand the world. It was a way of life, and that way of life has lasted for centuries.
Stoic philosophy can be applied to situations today the same way it was applied thousands of years ago, and its benefits are just as impactful. Stoicism allows us to process these negative emotions from negative experiences and turn them into the thoughts that give us a unique perspective of the world. Perspective is everything, and everyone in the world has different experiences and thus different perspectives on things.
Since the stoics gathered, discussed, and taught philosophy in a public place, their general philosophy was widely known. They believed that stoic principles could greatly benefit anyone and everyone, and so it didn't make sense for them to hide that knowledge behind the four walls of a school or of the palace courtyards. As a result, everyone from slave to emperor could learn and become a stoic, and they did.
Some of the world's most notable stoics include Epictetus, which translates to "acquired," as he was once owned as a slave; Seneca, who was a well-renowned statesman; and Marcus Aurelius, a Roman Emperor and one of the most powerful men to have ever lived. The early stoics practiced what they preached, avoiding all forms of segregation and leading the fight against inequality. They even invented the word "Cosmopolitan," which literally means "citizen of the world."
When people hear that word now, we think of cities like New York, Toronto, Dubai, and London because of how diverse they are. This was the type of unity and togetherness that the stoics preached, even at a time when it wasn't popular. Women were allowed to freely learn about stoicism and become stoics themselves.
So, why do so many people adopt stoicism as a way of life? In a world full of unexpected turns of events, our emotions can tend to get in the way of things. In reality, we don't really get sad because bad things happen to us; we get sad because unexpected bad things happen to us. Rain is a good thing — it helps to water our plants, provides water for livestock, and keeps the temperature cool and humid.
But the truth is, when that dark cloud catches you outside without an umbrella, it's never a good experience. So why don't we start crying once it starts to rain? It's because although the situation is bad, we've learned to expect rain. It's something that is unavoidable. We can't control the weather; although it sucks, the rain passes, and the light returns. Stoicism teaches us that in the same way we should expect that everything bad that can happen will happen.
Picture the worst outcome and be content knowing it could happen. One of the stoic exercises is known as voluntary discomfort — an exercise aimed at increasing feelings of gratitude. Sleep on the floor of your kitchen, take cold showers when you normally take hot ones, eat nothing but potatoes for a few days. Things like this. This exercise helps you to understand that no matter how hard it gets, you'll still survive and potentially thrive if your mindset is right.
By being able to withstand these uncomfortable situations, we indirectly prepare our mental for future misfortunes. With the current state of the world, where advertisements are constantly being shoved down our throats, we're made to believe that if we don't have the next best thing, look a certain way, or make a certain amount of money, that we will never be happy. This message is more important now than ever.
We enter the world not knowing much of anything. We grow up being taught things at home, in school, and by observing the world for ourselves. The thing is, a lot of times, all three of these sources of knowledge teach us in different ways. The question is, do we need to internalize all of this knowledge?
If we do, we could unknowingly be setting unrealistic expectations for our lives, ultimately leaving us disappointed and unsatisfied. In the end, that's no way to live. We should instead focus on improving ourselves for ourselves. We should do things for ourselves and only for that reason. Attaching any external hope or secondary attachments to the actions we take almost always lead to disappointment.
Most of the time, we end up trying to fulfill that emptiness with external things — blowing all your money on a fancy car, the house, or even starting a family. Sometimes we do all of these things for their external value and not their internal value. But stoicism teaches that if you approach life this way, you place your happiness in the hands of external forces — forces that can always fail.
Cars almost always break down, natural disasters wipe away entire cities, and divorce rates climb higher and higher each year. But even the free things in life come at a cost — the cost of space, both physical and mental. As Seneca once wrote, "Learning to live with less will create space in your life for the things that truly matter to you."
Instead, we must place our happiness on our intrinsic value as humans and on nothing we have or can physically acquire. We must choose to do our best to keep a cool head, regardless of what life throws at us. Because regardless of what it is, at the end of the day, we don't have any control over the majority of things that happen to us. But we do have control over how we react to those things. That is the dichotomy of control — the most important principle in stoic philosophy.
Stoics teach that we must learn to separate what we control from what we cannot control. We need to determine our value not from things we can't control, but from the things we can. Striving towards goals is a good trait, but breaking down when those things don't go your way is, in a stoic's point of view, useless.
Making YouTube videos is, well, a lot easier than being a Roman Emperor, but it can still prove to be challenging sometimes. First, you must form your idea, which takes forever, then research that idea, scrap it because it sucks, start over, script the video, create the video, edit it, make the title, thumbnail, and everything else before you hit upload. Everything up until the point where you click upload is all up to you. However, once you click that upload button, the power shifts to the YouTube algorithm.
Still, a lot of people judge the success of their YouTube channel or Instagram account based on how many views and subscribers or followers they have — metrics of which, for the most part, are beyond your control. Stoics teach that instead, you should judge the success of your work based on the amount of effort you put in and not on the outcome of your external hopes. Trust the process.
Think about a person who has been working hard at their job for the past six months. He now feels he deserves a promotion, and so he walks up to his boss with this performance report. The boss says thanks, doesn't grant him the promotion, and he goes home thinking he must suck at his job. He doesn't consider that the boss might have simply woken up angry, or someone else might have been better qualified at the time, or maybe the company was just losing money and couldn't afford it.
He doesn't know the reason, but he's still upset. If he simply placed his value on the quality of the performance report he turned in and kept doing what he was doing to earn the promotion he wanted, he could have been much happier overall. With the right perspective, his goal wouldn't have been diminished but just postponed. It's this reframing of your mindset that is crucial.
A true stoic does not view their successes based on the financial gain of their ventures, but is comforted by the fact that they can live a comfortable life without all the things money can buy. These are the four main virtues of stoicism: wisdom, courage, temperance, and justice. Wisdom is being able to separate between what is internal and what is external and the ability to choose our reaction to the things that happen to us.
As Victor Frankl said, "Between stimulus and response, there is a space, and that space is our power to choose our response." Courage is two words: persist and resist. Temperance, or moderation, is what I just did there — doing more with less, saying more with fewer words. While Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk are fighting at the top of the Forbes list, stoics believe that the limit of what should simply be is having what is essential and then having what is enough.
Justice is the most important of all the virtues. It instructs that no one should do harm to another because we were all born for each other — to do good to one another and not to ourselves. Nelson Mandela was one of the most famous African leaders in the world. While he was fighting against apartheid, he got sentenced to life imprisonment, where he stayed for 27 years before finally being released.
When he was released from prison, he was elected president of South Africa, and thus many people thought he was going to brutally punish all the people that had anything to do with apartheid or his imprisonment, but of course, he did not. Throughout his time in prison, Mandela read the works of Marcus Aurelius and learned many of the core values of stoicism, all of which he practiced throughout his life.
Instead of calling for the heads of the wrongdoers, Nelson Mandela urged his people to instead seek the opposite: to relax and rebuild. He stressed that the past was now beyond their control and that the only thing they could do was find a way to move forward and build a better nation. This is the way of the stoic.
In modern-day medicine, stoicism is at the core of procedures like rational emotive behavioral therapy and logo therapy. REBT helps patients to identify negative thought patterns that might be causing emotional and behavioral issues. It allows you to challenge the reasoning behind all these negative thoughts with logic, and when you realize that many of them are unfounded, you can then replace them with more productive and healthier beliefs.
Logo therapy, on the other hand, is based on the stoic principle that humans are driven by purpose. Even in the darkest of situations, we can fill our lives with meaning and happiness by simply finding out what that purpose is. As many of us know, though, this is easier said than done. It's a process, much like everything else. We have to rewire the way we think. Out with the old, in with the new.
To fix our problems with happiness, we must practice self-worth by redirecting our definition of value to the things that we can control. We can stop getting fixated on the things we cannot control, and overall, we can lead a much happier and more fulfilling life. Stoicism helps us steer through past and present storms into calmer and more peaceful waters.
And if our ship sinks and we all drown, we can take peace in the fact that we lived a good life, albeit not as long as we had hoped. Because remember, everything has an end. In the year 165 CE, a black wave of death rose from the East and quickly spread across the globe faster than anyone could have ever imagined. They called it the Antonine plague, after the reigning Roman Emperor at the time, Caesar Marcus Aurelius Antoninus Augustus, lasting throughout the time of his rule.
This plague claimed upwards of 18 million lives and nearly destroyed the Roman Empire, while entire armies could barely scathe. But it didn't. Under Marcus's rule, the empire thrived despite the economic crisis, the numerous invasions, and the grueling pandemic. It is precisely during times of distress that true leaders are tested, and the Caesar rose to the occasion every single time.
Aurelius was a philosopher before anything else, regarded as the last of the five good emperors of ancient Rome, a term coined by Niccolò Machiavelli in the 15th century. It was his stoic philosophy that differentiated him from his predecessors. During the plague, he set his ego aside and broke the mold, surrounding himself with talented and experienced public servants instead of aristocrats and nobles.
He listened to advice and empowered those around him to make decisions. He hired the best physicians to lead the battle against the disease decimating Roman populations and to give him the opportunity to focus on the growing economic crisis. He canceled debts, sold imperial effects and possessions, and confiscated capital from Rome's upper class to keep the economy afloat at a time when fear infiltrated the empire.
Marcus practiced self-control and inspired his people to remain calm. As if things couldn't get any worse, late in his reign, Marcus received news that an old friend and former general, Avidius Cassius, had staged a rebellion and declared himself Caesar in an attempt to overthrow him. Marcus's response was unusual considering the circumstances, but as disciplined and stoic as he was ever known to be. Instead of getting angry and immediately setting out to destroy the man that threatened the empire, his family, and his legacy, Marcus waited to give the defector a chance to come to his senses.
When he did not, Marcus demanded that Cassius be captured but not killed. In true stoic fashion, he said concerning the matter: "Forgive a man who has wronged once, to remain a friend; to one who has transgressed, friendship to continue faithful to one who has broken faith." The last of the five good emperors was a student of stoic philosophy, influenced by the writings of Seneca and Epictetus.
This is evident from his personal reflections during campaigning and administration. He didn't get angry; he didn't allow his emotions to guide his judgments, and he didn't despise his enemy. He acted firmly and justly, a posture that calmed an already nervous empire in times of extreme tensions. Stoicism provided Marcus Aurelius with a guideline to use when facing the stress of life, and as the leader of the most powerful empire in history, you know that his stressors were plenty.
This guideline was compiled into "Meditations" — Marcus Aurelius's personal diaries, the private thoughts of the world's most powerful man, giving advice on how to be wise in our decisions, just in our judgments, brave in our actions, and temperate in all of our doings. To practice self-control, discipline, and modesty. In short, "Meditations" is a timeless piece of stoic philosophy that is as relevant today as it was in the ancient days of Rome.
It is a guide to the key principles of stoicism from the philosopher king himself. One of the most prominent principles of stoicism that Marcus Aurelius continually reiterates in this piece of literature revolves around the dichotomy of control. Despite all of his power, the Caesar of Rome constantly reminded himself that he couldn't control all that happened around him, but he could always control how he responded to those things.
Flowing from this concept, there are five key and profound lessons we can learn from Marcus's "Meditations" that are a testament to the practicality of stoicism as a philosophy. And by understanding these lessons, we can lead healthier and more fulfilling lives, even millennia after Aurelius.
Reframe. The things you think about determine the quality of your mind. It's all in how you perceive it. You're in control. You can dispense with misperception at will, like rounding the point: serenity, total calm, safe and courageous. Before Marcus, at this time, Epictetus and Seneca both wrote vast amounts on the power of perception.
It's no wonder then that Aurelius echoed these thoughts, as it is one of the most essential tenants of stoicism. Our perceptions influence all that we experience. Your car may not start before your important meeting, or your boss may not give you the promotion you think you deserve. Just like Marcus had a choice when the plague hit, you also have a choice to make whenever you are facing a troubling situation.
You can choose to feel angry, scorned, depressed, or defeated, which will accomplish nothing, or you can train your perception to not be influenced by what is outside your control. It's a form of self-discipline that places the quality of your life in your hands instead of in the hands of other people or situations. Marcus's entire reign rested on this guiding principle. As a formidable leader, he understood the power he had and always separated his perceptions from his emotions.
He faced invasions from Germanic tribes and internal uprisings within his kingdom, but he knew he could not alter these situations to his favor. His true power came from within, from how he perceived these grievous situations. So instead of reacting rashly, he didn't allow these horrible negative effects to affect him. Instead, he seized his own mind and was able to make just decisions that were void of any emotional attachment, even in the face of the most troubling situations.
To refrain from imitation is the best revenge. When someone despises us, the easy thing to do is to despise them back. But what would that accomplish? When dealing with Cassius's rebellion, it would have been easy for Marcus to order his troops to seize and brutally murder him for his insurgence — to use him as a message to all who dare attempt to take his crown. Instead, he was compassionate and chose to forgive him.
People will never meet our expectations, so instead of letting their behavior evoke our emotions, it's more prudent to resort back to what is in our control, which is being virtuous — a better stoic and a better human. Just as nature takes every obstacle, every impediment, and works around it, turns it to its purposes, and incorporates it into itself, so too can a rational being turn each setback into raw material and use it to achieve its goal.
Before anything, the stoics were realists. They understood life's challenges, but instead of shying away from them, they embraced them. The truth is that struggle is an essential part of life. It builds character, develops resilience, and ultimately leads to success. Again, this principle is centered around perception. We can either perceive an obstacle as a hindrance to our progress — a knockout punch that we'll never be able to recover from — or a virtue, a test of our ability to respond to adversity.
It would be foolish to go through life avoiding struggle and conflict. Instead, we should welcome them as an opportunity to strengthen our character. The obstacle is never in the way; the obstacle is the way. Accept the things to which fate binds you and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.
Marcus Aurelius believed that the formula for human greatness is to accept our fate, no matter what it is. This notion is deeply rooted in stoic philosophy. Whatever happens to you, you must love it for it is your fate. Epictetus faced countless adversities throughout his life but still embraced his destiny without complaining. He was tortured by a master who twisted his leg and broke it, permanently crippling him.
Instead of spending the rest of his life feeling remorseful for himself, Epictetus took control of his mind instead and said, "Do not seek for things to happen the way you want them to; rather wish that what happens happens the way it happens." Then you will be happy. The true testament to being a stoic is wanting nothing to be different — not better or worse.
Strength of a person is in accepting what the universe has in store for you and not resisting it. You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think. No one understood their destiny and loved their fate more than Seneca. In 59 CE, Rome was ruled by an insecure and unjust emperor, Nero. He was an uncaring dictator who spared no one from his wrath, including his own mother and sister.
After a failed attempt on his life, Nero gathered all the suspected conspirators and either banished or executed them. Seneca was wrongly accused as being one of those plotting against Nero's life. Even though he had served as his leading adviser, Nero did not spare him and ordered him to take his own life. Instead of fighting the hand that fate dealt him, Seneca not only accepted his fate but was stoic to the final moment of his existence. As he famously said, "What need is there to weep over parts of life when the whole of it calls for tears?" Seneca then cut the veins in his arms and bled to death.
Despite being one of the most powerful men in the world, Marcus Aurelius reflected on the fleeting nature of his life. Anyone in his position could very easily get drunk on power, but he reminded himself all the time of those who have come and gone, who have left behind nothing of the power they ever so greedily accumulated throughout their lives. In "Meditations," Marcus thinks of mortality as an inspiration to live his best life and let go of trivial things. He did not see death as morbid, but rather as a motivator to live a life of virtue and gratitude for the time we have.
Marcus Aurelius led a Roman Empire that went through both hardship and prosperity. He was criticized and praised, and loved and hated. But through it all, he always reminded himself of the teachings of stoicism and the dichotomy of control. There are things in our control and others that are not. Which ones will you focus on?
If we can learn to emulate Marcus' lessons by mastering our perceptions, accepting others for who they are, embracing the inevitable challenges as an opportunity for growth, loving our fate, and finally accepting our mortality, then we can truly live a virtuous life just like that of the philosopher king himself. Waste no time on arguing what a good man should be; be one.
We're all pretty used to rain. We're either prepared for it with an umbrella or raincoat, or just get wet. Rarely does it genuinely upset us. But what about when it rains for days and the streets flood so you can't go outside? Or when you realize you can't afford the interest rate on that home you want to purchase? How do you react when your investments plummet in value or you're laid off without severance?
These are genuine modern problems that plague us at every turn — problems that haunt our nights with nightmares and fill our days with despair. But it doesn't have to be this way. We can learn to remain grounded despite all the problems plaguing our society today. This is how to become stoic in the modern world. Stoicism is, of course, an ancient Greek philosophy that aims to take us from being vulnerable to the chaotic nature of the universe to being calm and indifferent to it.
It's a way to fortify yourself for lasting peace of mind. But as with every practice that involves changing your attitude or disposition, work is involved and often sacrifice. The stoics' work is to recognize what's in our control and what isn't. And the only thing in our control is our reaction to what happens, not the event itself. Obviously, we can influence what happens, but nothing is entirely in our control.
Misfortunes are unpredictable and often inevitable. The stoic philosopher Zeno of Citium used an analogy of a dog being tied by a cart to clarify the stoic position. When a dog is tied to a cart, if it wants to follow, it is pulled and follows, making its spontaneous act coincide with necessity. But if the dog doesn't follow, it'll be compelled. So it is with men too; even if they don't want to, they will be compelled to follow what is destined. The cart represents anything beyond our control — all the various happenings of the universe.
A stoic attaches us to this universe. Our options are to run with it or to resist and be dragged. To become stoic is to run with the cart. Imagine you're at work, and your supervisor informs you that the espresso machine you rely on is being removed. Your free daily coffee is suddenly gone. For most of us, this would be pretty devastating. Your reaction here is what's up to you. You have no control over whether the machine is there or not.
You can either run with the cart by accepting that the change is beyond your control or wallow in the misery of no more free coffee. You can be dragged. The ultimate goal is to improve upon your inner self, as relying on external things for happiness leaves you at the mercy of a turbulent universe — a universe that is outside your control.
Stoic philosophers subscribe to a semi-deterministic worldview, or compatibilism. Everything that happens has a cause, but sometimes we can't control that cause, only the action we take. For example, we can choose not to give in to an impulse to eat cake, but the existence of that impulse is beyond our control. That's not to suggest we shouldn't try to improve our external circumstances, but that we can't rely on desirable outcomes.
If we want the result of fixing our car, we still have to pick up the phone to book an appointment. It's not going to fix itself. Still, we can measure how much effort we're putting in because that's what is in our control. If the mechanic happens to be a charlatan who runs off with your car, you shouldn't blame yourself. That was beyond your control.
Discussing the ancient philosophy of stoicism is one thing, but what about tangibly implementing it into our modern lives? After all, at the time of its conception, stoicism was for everyone, from slaves to the emperor of Rome. So why not today? Most of us get caught up in material things, and we expect them to bring us joy. We tell ourselves that the next purchase is what will finally make us happy — a new car, the latest smartphone, the expensive watch.
When we're unable to get these things because, well, we can't afford them, we feel bad, like the universe is opposed to us being happy and that there's nothing we can do about it. But the truth is that material things only bring temporary happiness. Your car will break down, and your phone will eventually freeze up. Even when our possessions still work perfectly, hedonic adaptation steps in, and we start to want something newer and shinier.
It's a never-ending cycle. To escape the trap of consumerism, we need to adopt a different attitude towards our purchases and the dopamine hit we get from them. To do this, you can practice what the stoics call voluntary discomfort. This is when you subject yourself to discomfort in something you typically enjoy. The most common way people do this is by taking a cold shower instead of a warm one, but you could also hold on to your new phone until it's no longer usable — suffer through the cracks and lags, and let each new phone launch pass you by.
If that's too much, start small. Next time you go to the bathroom, leave your phone on your nightstand or your desk or wherever, and sit with your thoughts on the toilet instead of trying to amuse or torture yourself by doom-scrolling. Driving somewhere on a hot day, roll up the windows and drive with the AC off, or better yet, walk.
Marcus Aurelius, emperor of Rome, was a practitioner of stoic philosophy. He ruled the empire from 161 CE until his death in 180 CE and was widely considered a great philosopher-king. Although that may be a historical exaggeration, as a leader, he wrote down his stoic-influenced "Meditations," likely as a way of assuring himself while handling significant responsibilities. They were intended for his own use and not meant to be published widely, but fortunately, we have access to them today.
The collection is called "Meditations," also called "The Inner Citadel." In it, you can see how Marcus Aurelius applied his learned stoicism to his daily life as emperor. Here are some of those quotes that might be able to help get you into a stoic mindset. "Thus, we should employ the mind in all parts of life when things occur which at first seem worthy of high estimation. We should strip them naked and view their meanness and cast aside those pompous descriptions of them by which they seem so glorious."
Marcus Aurelius would routinely reflect on the nature of his food as devoid of the pleasures and sensations he instinctively derived from it. "A fish is just flesh necessary to sustain." He ignored the pleasing tastes and satisfaction of filling up when he brought his favorite lunch to work. Break it into its most basic components: the salad is just leaves and the fruit of a plant. Croutons are just wheat smashed into flour and combined with yeast to make bread. Bread is then cut into pieces and dried in hot air.
By doing this, when you're stuck with a lunch you don't love or the waiter gets your order wrong, you won't be as burdened by the thought of eating it or feeling the absence of something more delicious. "Lunch is just raw materials to give you energy." Marcus Aurelius wrote a great deal about how we interpret and interact with others. He adopted the metaphysics of stoicism as a way of thinking about our interactions and emotions.
For stoic philosophers, the universe is made from an intelligent design. Humans, too, are part of that same intelligence. It doesn't make sense to hate the same intelligence in another because it's the same intelligence in you. It's similar to the Hindu concept of Brahman, the deity that permeates everything. "I can't be angry at my kinsmen or hate them; we were naturally formed for mutual assistance, as the two feet, the hands, the eyelids, and the upper and lower rows of the teeth, opposition to each other is contrary to nature. All anger and aversion is in opposition."
We may think of ourselves as in competition with others. We compete for better grades at school and put down others to get a leadership role at a company, but that's a surefire way to live a life of envy and malice. If you see everyone as part of the same intelligence, trying to put others below you would be foolish. You are the same. Treating others as lesser is contrary to nature.
Seldom are any found unhappy for not observing the motions and intentions in the souls of others, but such as observe not well the emotions of their own souls or their affections must necessarily be unhappy. This reminds us to focus on what is in our control: our attitude. Trying to analyze others will often lead to misery. We spend too long considering why people behave the way they do in a state of resentment.
We question their motives and success. Most of us know someone who can't stop complaining or gossiping about others at their job. They're obsessed with what their coworkers have and never seem particularly happy. Their time would probably be better spent addressing their own mind, as the minds of others are outside of their control. Let us, as I said, be on our guard without suspicion or enmity. Aurelius is cautioning himself to be prepared for any attack or betrayal, while at the same time not presuming that others have bad intentions.
Again, we shouldn't dwell too much on the intentions of others, but we shouldn't blindly assume that no one will mean harm. As any experienced student knows, when working with peers on a group project, be prepared for someone to not pull their weight. At the same time, though, you should never assume and judge that someone won't. You can needlessly cause dysfunction in the group while allowing others to occupy too much of your mind.
But seriously: if you're working with three others, statistically, one or more of them won't do their fair share. Be prepared for it, but without suspicion or hostility. When you are angry at the mistakes and wrong actions of men — for all are carried toward what appears to them their proper good — but say to you it is not their proper good, well instruct them then, and teach them better. And don't be angry with them.
Basically, we can disagree with others, knowing with near certainty that we're right, but getting angry with them invites more pain and is an ineffective mode of persuasion. They have what they think is the right way in mind, so we shouldn't think poorly of them. We should try to educate them rather than show our frustration.
This quote from Aurelius speaks to the ongoing culture war. Both sides have an idea of what's right and allow themselves to get angry and insult the other party. This isn't to suggest that both sides are correct, but that especially on social media nowadays, genuine attempts at persuasion have taken a backseat. There are plenty of attempts to educate in the culture war, but they often come dripping with condescension and likely serve a purpose other than genuine persuasion.
They seem more about scoring likes, shares, and validations from existing believers than extending an olive branch. If we treated others like parts of an intelligent design, we wouldn't feel the need to mock them. We would try to help them see the right way forward. With these mental tools, stoicism can guide you through the pain of life so that you face it with a temperament people would describe as stoic. Regardless of what the universe has in store, your goal is to remain emotionally indifferent.
You have reinforced your inner citadel and are prepared for both good and bad fortune. Now, stoicism isn't a philosophy to take ourselves off the hook for the problems we can influence, but it does acknowledge that so much is beyond our individual control. We can only judge ourselves based on our effort. If we consider the world's biggest problems, the solutions are far out of reach for the average person. We can only do our part, make moves where we can, and judge our efforts.
We can only change what is in our control. If you're wondering why bother with any of this when the universe itself doesn't make sense, click the video on your screen right now to understand the philosophy of absurdism: life is meaningless.