Joe Rogan Experience #2066 - Ralph Barbosa

Joe Rogan podcast, check it out!

The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.

What's up, young? How are you?

What's up, man?

Ral Barosa on the way up. What's happening?

Hey, it's good to be here. Good to have you, man. I hear good things about you.

I was just talking to Brian Simpson about you today. I'm a huge Brian Simpson fan! I love that dude. We were working out today and he was saying great things about you.

No offense to Brian Simpson, but he works out. I never— I never thought I'd hear it like that!

He does now. All right, hell yeah!

Yeah, he's been working out with me for three weeks now. I got like a little comedy boot camp going on over here.

Yeah, yeah, Shane Gillis, Duncan Trussell, Assad, Brian Simpson, and me—we get together and put some workouts in.

All those guys are living down here?

Yeah, they're all living down here.

That's dope, man! Austin's pretty dope right now. It's a great spot.

I popped in here yesterday to Austin and I didn't—I feel like I didn't used to be able to do this, but yeah, it was dope, man! I got to go like do a spot at the creek, and then I got to go to your spot. Got to do the little boy! Nice!

Yeah, it's been dope, man. Yeah, it's fun. Austin's like—it’s a new thing. It's like an exciting thing.

Yeah, you know, it used to be like before COVID, Austin was, as far as Texas goes, Austin was like the place to go if you were too scared to like go to New York or LA. People were like, "Just go to Austin." You know? It stayed busy, but it was also like very woke, and so you had to be like real careful. And now it's like—

Nuts!

Yes, it's Buck Wild! I like that.

Yeah, it's Buck Wild.

Yeah, well, you know what it is? It's Kill Tony! Kill Tony's because Kill Tony's here. That show sets the standard because it's all just about being funny.

And people realize like this idea that you're supposed to have like some sort of [ __ ] social message in your comedy…

Yeah, I also think it's just a lot of Californians and New Yorkers as well because like everybody started moving down here to be able to actually be on stage from New York or LA during COVID and, yeah, I feel like when they got here, they were like, "You know, be careful." But everybody from California and New York was just like, "No!”

Well, it depends on where you're from! You know what I mean? There’s pockets of people that are enchanted by the wokeness in all sections of the country. You know, it depends. Like if you're coming from The Comedy Store, it's just about being funny. But if you're coming from some of the other clubs in LA, maybe it's not.

Like, it's just Hollywood, man. It's like movies and TV; they're all run by executives, and you have to think like they think or you don't get hired.

Well, I think I think another reason that it got so Buck Wild, though, is 'cause during COVID, if you were coming here, it's because you were already like, "Man [ __ ] the [ __ ] COVID rules!" You know what I mean?

If you're really that safe person, you're probably also that like woke comedian, so I feel like those people stayed back while everybody who was ready to get Buck Wild came down to be wild too and got Buck Wild.

I think you nailed it.

Yeah, I think you nailed it 'cause the people that came here were like, "[ __ ] this! Like [ __ ] Telling me that I can't do stand-up. [ __ ] Telling me I can't go to a restaurant."

Yeah, especially when you go on the road and you realize that if you just live in LA and you never leave LA, you think the world is LA. And then you go to Nashville, and you go, "Oh, they haven't lost their mind."

Yeah, but they didn’t lose their mind in Nashville. They were normal! Like you go to Dallas—they didn't lose their mind in Dallas. People kind of got a little freaked out for COVID for a couple of weeks, and everybody sort of just settled in. California never settled in, man; it never settled in.

It's still there! I've been seeing people with masks on this week.

I see that a lot too. I remember when I came down to Austin a few times during COVID, a lot of the comics from like LA were like, "Jesus Christ!" Like they were waiting on you to like ride with your club, dude!

I was like, "You guys are putting too much pressure on Joe Rogan, man!"

Pressure, bro. 'Cause I think it's not all LA comics, but there were a few that maybe felt like the Austin comics weren't showing love to the LA comics. They were like, "Man, they put us last on the mics. They don't book us on the shows!"

LA comics gotta do our own thing. But they were like, "Just wait, man. I heard a couple of guys say this—they were like, 'Just wait, man. When Joe opens up his club, it's over! Like we'll be back on top!' But I feel like you brought everybody together, man."

Yeah, it's about everybody should be together. This is a fun artist community, and it should be fun for everybody! There's no us versus them, shut up! We're all comics! Stop with the silliness—Austin comic, LA comic—it was I think it was only for a little bit during COVID when everybody was just rushing in. You know, everybody was freaking out just about change in the world.

You know, like there was a lot of weird [ __ ] going on in the world and everybody had a higher level of anxiety and to take a chance when you're young and you're coming up and everybody tells you LA is where you have to be.

Are you a 27, 28-year-old comic? Oh my God, you got to get to LA! That's what I always heard! You got to get to LA! You got to get to LA!

Yeah! It's not the case anymore! That's not real anymore! The thing that helps you more than anything is podcasts! That's the thing that helps you more than anything!

Yeah, number one social media podcasts! You know, those are like—look how big you got so quick from a couple Clips!

Yeah, just a couple Clips! You know it as well as anybody! If you've got good [ __ ] now, it gets out like that! There is not a TV show in the world that would have done that for you; you would have had to be the star in the—like if you were living in the 90s you’d have to be the star of some NBC sitcom to sell the kind of tickets you're selling right now just from Clips online.

It's beautiful for comedians; it's the greatest thing that's ever happened! I feel like it’s letting people decide who gets to blow up, you know what I mean?

Like, I don’t know what it used to be like 'cause I wasn’t there, but I feel like it used to be the industry kind of decides when you get your break or not.

Like, do they put you on this? But stand-up has always at least partially been meritocracy, you know? But stand-up—the quality of your stand-up is the most important thing, whether or not people are laughing—that's the most important.

It's always been the most important thing, so if someone is undeniable, they always come through. They always come through. But they also have to be a hard worker! You got to actually put in!

There's too many guys that are really good that just go to one club or they go, you know—they don’t go on the road. There’s too many guys that like—they miss this window of opportunity where they could have been like real national headliners, and they just never developed a following out there in the world.

[ __ ] up!

100%!

I know a handful of comics like back home or in New York or LA who I feel like are some of the funniest people in the world, and don't have a lick of work ethic, so the world will never know.

It's horrible! But it's not the work ethic. Some of them get jobs like in the business, like they're writers, or like Owen Smith, who is one of the top 20 stand-up comics alive.

Owen Smith is a [ __ ] killer! His [ __ ] is so tight; it's—he's so smooth on stage. You look at him, you're like, "How is this guy not selling out arenas?"

How's this guy not selling out arenas? It's because Owen had—they're great jobs! He got a bunch of great jobs! Like he runs sitcoms and stuff, runs shows.

But goddamn, when you look at like the quality of his stand-up, like man, you should be everywhere! You should be everywhere!

I mean, to each their own. If he's happy, he's happy, right?

Yeah, I think he—writer's strike probably freaked him out. I think the writer's strike and the actor's strike freaked a lot of those guys out. They're like, "Oh, [ __ ]! Like, 'Cause if they just pulled a plug for five, six months in some sort of contract negotiations, like some of those executives were literally saying, 'Wait these people out!' When they start losing their homes."

I saw that!

Yeah, that's some cutthroat [ __ ]! That's wild! Imagine if you got to go to work with those people after that! Imagine! You know, that’s how they feel about you!

I couldn’t do that! I couldn’t! I mean, I already didn’t go that route, and I don’t know if I could ever go that route!

You could have gone that route in the 90s! In the 90s, that was the only option! Man, in the 90s, when I first came to Hollywood in '94, that was what everybody wanted! You wanted what Jerry Seinfeld had! You wanted what Roseanne had!

It was Brett Butler—what was that show called again?

Under Fire. Grace Under Fire. That was a big show!

Tim Allen! You wanted to be a comic that got a sitcom. That was the [ __ ] dude! If you were a comic that got a sitcom now, you got a house in Beverly Hills, you’re [ __ ] balling out of control! You're driving a Ferrari! Woo! You made it!

That's what everybody wanted. This was like the goal, right?

Yeah, and somewhere along the line, I think it was like the 2000s, reality shows came around. Everybody wanted a reality show!

They're too cheap! They're so cheap to make! They're so cheap to make! And you don't—I mean, you barely pay the people that are on them!

Like, all those real housewives and [ __ ], they're not like making millions of dollars!

I don't think you think they are!

I don't know, I’d like to know just so I can talk [ __ ] to them! I think like maybe the new ones do! Like, obviously the Kardashians make a shitload of money, right?

But I think they own their show! But what about— like, the point is they're way easier to make than a sitcom! Way easier!

Like Fear Factor was complicated in the stunts and all the stuff they had to do, but you don’t have to write a script and like all that stuff—like it plays out on its own.

It's like people are competing; it plays out. The drama just happens! And you have good editing, good music, and all that [ __ ]!

But a sitcom, man, to write a good one, bro, that [ __ ] is brutal!

Props to writers, man! Props to writers!

Props to writers! I don't know! Hard television in general just kind of scares me! Acting, writing—you’re just so attached to like other people's opinions of you! Like you’re constantly getting chosen for stuff!

I feel like, even though I've never done that, I do get tired of like comments! Like I know they say never read the comments, but I'll read them!

But it'll be like the— like I could take a joke! I could take getting roasted, especially if it's people who follow me! It kind of feels like, "Oh, well, I mean they follow..." It's some sort of support! It feels like you’re getting roasted by like your cousin!

Like, "Right? Hey, still on my team! [ __ ] it!" But the ones that like pissed me off, like I don't know why— they shouldn't but just throw me over there!

Like, I want to [ __ ] hit this guy in the face! It's like if I just left— like let's say I did Miami last month or like two weeks ago, and then I post like a flyer for next month's shows, and people are like, "What the [ __ ]? You avoiding Miami?"

I'm like, "Hey, dumbass! I was just there like two weeks ago! Like, when did you start following me? [ __ ]!"

Like, stop making me look like I don't show your city love!

Like, you can't pay attention to that! That's just someone who doesn't look at schedules!

I hate it!

Yeah, but that's just a crazy person! That's a lack of information!

Yeah, but I don't know why it just—I stopped checking social media! I'll check it like once throughout the day, and if I happen to catch your message or your comment, I catch it! If not, [ __ ] it! Like tomorrow!

You know what it's like, man? It's like when you're out at like a party or a club or something like that, and someone yells across the room, "Yo, what's up, Ralph?"

Yeah! You know, and you go, "Hey, what's up, man?" He goes, "Dude, I’m a fan! What’s up? How you doing?" Then he'll give you some love, but he’s like checking you to see if you’ll like react to him, bro!

Somebody that’s kind of like what they’re doing in the comments!

Somebody—"You don't come to Miami, man!"

Yeah! Somebody tried to do that in like—I think it was Denver! I was already pretty drunk and I was tripping off mushrooms, man! I was like in a playful mood! I can't help it!

And some guy stopped me while I was walking out of the club and he was like, "Yo, Ralph!" and I don’t know why my first reaction instantly was just to be like, "Yo, Rodrigo!"

And I didn’t know who he was or nothing; I was just like, "Huh? Like we’re guessing people’s names now!"

And he just like went blank-faced! He's like, "What?" and I was like, "I’m [ __ ] with you, man! I was like, 'What’s your name?'"

And he was like... like Eric or something; I was like, "Yo, Eric!" and then I was like, "Nice to meet you, bro!"

And I was like, "My bad, man!" I just walked off! And when we were outside, uh, man, it was like snowy, icy! We were outside and some—that same, I'm pretty sure it was that same dude, he was like, "Hey, Ralph! He's like, 'Man, you [ __ ] bro?'"

And I was like, "What's up? What's your deal, bro? What’s going on?"

I had a feeling he was 'cause he was still real smiley! I had a feeling he was just [ __ ] with me or something!

I was like, "What's up, man? What's your deal?" He's like, "What?" I was like, "What's up, bro? What's your deal?" He's like, "What's my deal?"

And I felt so cool 'cause I was smoking a cigarette! I was like, "What do you want to do, bro?"

And my friend Luis was really drunk; that dude just loves to fight! Luis was—Luis pointed at my buddy Vince, who's like the nerd nest guy in the world; he’s a writer for that show This Fool, super nerdy guy with glasses.

He’s like, "You see this guy, bro? He knows MMA!"

He doesn't though! I don't think Vince has ever been in a fight! That dude was like, "I’m [ __ ] with you, man! I'm sorry, bro. I'm sorry!"

But I was just kind of waiting for him to come at me! I usually, if I get into a fight, I'm going to get the first hit!

I'm a small dude! I'm not going to risk getting knocked out on the first punch! I'm not like a—if a fight is going to happen, I'm [ __ ] swinging first!

I’m going to lose either way, most likely, but I might at least start swinging first before you knock me out!

But I wanted him to come to me because it was so snowy and icy! I was like, "If I start walking and I [ __ ] slip," I was like I need—I want him to risk slipping first before I risk slipping!

Yeah, ice fighting is not smart!

It was the day before the Netflix special came out, so I was like, "I'm not going to have a video of me getting knocked out in the ice come out the day before the special!"

You have to know Jiu-Jitsu if you're going to fight in the ice!

100%!

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

If you're fighting someone on a slippery surface, all you got to do is grab them, and you're both going to the ground!

All right, I'm going to keep that in mind!

Yeah, but don't fight—don't fight, man, don’t fight!

Coming fight? I'm getting heated just talking about this!

Don't fight, Ralph! You're a wild young kid; don't do it! You got a great career; don't fight!

If you want to fight, go to a gym!

I went to a boxing gym for a little bit earlier this year! I went for like two months!

That'd be good for you!

Yeah, I liked it! I want to do something different though! Boxing is one of the very best things ever for relieving, like, tension.

Like if you [ __ ] tense, you just like—got too much going on in your world, man, you just put on some good tunes!

I have a Wu-Tang playlist that I play when I hit the bag! I would go like early—in the morning for like private sessions!

And that's what I would put on! Some Wu-Tang, some Rizza! Rizza specifically has that one song that like, "You Can't Stop Me Now!" It's like a boxing classic!

Rizza’s got so many jams, but for me, number one is "Protect Your Neck!" That has to be on every playlist!

And that's like—we would drive to the arena shows, and sometimes you get a police escort! And there’s something wild about cop cars with flashing lights and you listening to "Protect Your Neck!"

We never had a—I’ve never had a police escort, but one time in a parking lot I had a security guard escort!

But they have like the yellow lights! Those aren't as threatening or as fun.

The yellow lights? No, that's not as fun! You need the blue lights!

It was also like a shopping center parking lot! So it wasn't—it's not exactly an arena! But dude, some of the best comedy clubs ever in those little shopping center mall places?

Little [ __ ] clubs that you would never imagine were great, you know?

Little Funny Bones!

Yeah, man! [ __ ]! There's some—I’ve never been to that one that's at the Mall of America, but I've heard that's dope too!

That was like the first club I got to do like when I started hitting the road! That's like—or second club!

I don't know! It was like November, like early November!

Are you from Dallas?

Are you from Dallas?

So like Minnesota winter is a different thing, man!

Oh, I loved it! 'Cause I love the cold! I'm tired of the heat!

Yeah! I'm so sick of the heat!

Oh, that's funny! I finally had a reason to wear a jacket!

See, I grew up in Boston!

Oh, so you're used to it! It's cold as [ __ ] in Boston!

And I'm like, "[ __ ] the cold, dude! You can heat me up! That doesn't bother me at all!"

I know people die in the cold! People die in their car in the cold!

Yeah, yeah! In the heat! All you have to do is get in the shade, get water, don't be stupid, be in reasonably good shape, and you can get away with it!

If you're like woods and you have water, if it's the cold, you're [ __ ], but I love—the thing is, man, I'm skinny; I'll just layer up! We like two or three jackets!

Well, that's great as long as there's a place to get warm! That's the thing!

Like you can't survive unless you can get warm! That's the difference!

Like everybody's worried about global warming; global cooling is what freaks me out!

IAG just freaks me out! Yo, when Texas froze a couple years ago, I was— I was, somebody— I think I was watching like a video on Instagram!

Somebody was just like "If climate change like keeps getting worse, that will happen but like for longer periods of time or for like colder temperatures..." If that's true, then, yeah, I’m pretty scared, bro!

That's all guesswork! Everyone's guessing!

Yeah, there's definitely an impact! It's undeniable that human beings have an impact!

But here’s the problem—the climate is never the same! It's never steady forever!

If you go back to like 1934 in—I think it was Wyoming—got to like 118°!

Holy [ __ ] yeah, something crazy like that!

And they were talking— I was—God, I don’t remember where I saw this!

I guess that’s why they call it climate change!

It's because of the Dust Bowl!

The Dust Bowl? What was that? I always hear about that!

Climate change—the Dust Bowl! A lot of bad farming and drought caused a bunch of bad crops, and they all turn to like [ __ ]—they turn to dust!

And it created giant dust storms all over the western part of the country! He heated things up!

It led to a bunch of [ __ ] in the air that like caused problems with the storms and the Sun!

And definitely did heat things up! I bet they thought the world was ending right there!

And there—that's wild! But anyway, the point is, if you go back in time, you know when they do—what's— they do these things called core samples?

So they take this giant slab of the earth, you know, hundreds of feet down, and through that, you can—you know what eras they do carbon testing!

So they know like this is from a thousand years ago; this is from 2,000 years ago!

When they do that, it's all over the place, man! When they have these charts of the temperature of the earth throughout history, have you ever seen them?

They go like this—all over the place! Even before people, it's always been wacky!

I'm learning a lot, man! Learning about Hollywood in the 90s and climate change, bro!

I’m here to teach!

That's what this—a one-sided podcast, man! It's not even fair!

Like, come on, man! It's not, dude! I was thinking about that on the way over!

It is! But like, do you realize how— like, this is like, "Bro, it's not even fair, bro!"

I have everything to gain here! Like— like me! I’m 27, right?

And you know you’re Joe Rogan! You got the experience! You got the podcast! You got all this knowledge in the world of comedy/business!

If I just listen, I'm going to learn some [ __ ] today!

But you—you got to talk to like a 27-year-old like, what do you even talk about?

Like everything we’ve talked about, I'm learning!

27? Come on, man!

I love what you're doing right now! I really do! I love comics on the rise; it's exciting to me!

Oh, comedy is fun! I love comedy! I love good comics, and I love when people get better at [ __ ]!

And I love watching it! I really do! I love watching people crack!

It's fun! I love definitely trying to get better! You’re [ __ ] great, man!

You’re funny as [ __ ], you're cool, you're relaxed, you're smooth on stage! You got a lot going for you, man!

I'm smooth on stage! Sometimes, I sometimes I'll have a burst of energy and I'll let it out, and I’ll have fun that way!

And I can tell some of the audience is like, "Ah, this is fun!"

And some of them think I'm on drugs 'cause they've never seen that!

They're like, "He's coked out!"

I'm never—I’m not a coke guy, though! I'm not!

I want people to know that! If you ever see me on stage, and I'm not like super mellow, and I'm actually energetic, just know it's not drugs!

Mushrooms maybe, not anything else though!

Yeah, I don't—I know a few guys who've done—like the guys who had problems with coke who did coke and then did stand-up, and they said it [ __ ] their stand-up up!

I bet!

I’m sober on stage like 98% of the time!

Yeah, you’re smoother that way!

Yeah! I like a drink! I like a drink every now and again! A little puff and a drink!

Sometimes, you need that just to kind of lose—like just to get in the fun mood!

Just, "We're having fun," you know?

Yeah, for sure!

Sometimes you might be a little stressed depending on what's going on in your day or your week, and you need like a shot, a couple hits, to like take that off a little bit!

Take that edge off!

And just, "Hey, come on, Ralph! Enjoy this [ __ ]! You're on a fun ride!"

Yeah, I try to chill sometimes just because I know that if I do start drinking, I'm not going to stop!

Like I'm not like a few beers in the night!

I might—if I have two shows, I might drink a beer or two before the second show!

I might drink another couple beers on stage!

But I’m also like, when I'm on like the West Coast from Texas to the West, my audiences are like 100% Mexican!

Like there's no type of mix!

And if you drink in front of an all-Mexican crowd, they're just going to keep like, "Chug, chug, chug, bro!"

And there's no satisfying them!

Like if—like I learned my lesson! If you chug one, you'll have to chug another!

If you chug the next one, like you’ll be—you’ll want to throw up on stage!

Like more dudes going to bring you beers!

"Let me get them one too!"

Yeah! So like—I won’t drink on stage! If I do, I’ll let them know, like, "I'm not [ __ ]—you're not doing this to me!"

Yeah!

Yeah, they can take you down a rap at!

But after the show, if I already started drinking after the show, I’ll keep it going!

Mitz is a fun place to be after the shows!

Where's Mitz?

The bar downstairs at the mothership!

Oh, yeah? Tonight after shows?

We’re going downstairs!

All right! All right! We’re going!

It's a great vibe! It's a real great sense of community and home!

It's a real like home base!

You need home bases when you're on the road a lot, I feel!

I think you do too! Keep you human!

That’s what we used to have at the store, it was a home base!

All these guys that would tour on the weekends, we’d all meet each other at the bar, at the bar downstairs!

It was a comedian's only bar, and it was this beautiful bar!

And the bar itself was Mitz; it was from her home, and they moved it!

When she moved out of her home, they moved it and put it in this one, so you knew it was like you're holding on to Mitz's bar!

This is hers, you know?

You feel her bar when you put your hand down, when you have a drink; you set it down on Mitz's bar!

There was something about that, man!

And then we’re you know—Ron White's back there, and [ __ ] Dave Chappelle's back there!

Dave brings his own music sometimes!

It's crazy!

It's beautiful!

I [ __ ] love that!

It's just a hang, man!

And so that's what we do with the mothership!

Dave has good music! He’s always got the best!

I got—I always have Shazam on point!

When D—I have it set up so I tap the back of my phone three times and Shazam pops up!

I just have it on the little pull-down menu or whatever! I don't know what you call—

I want to show you my messages! I got a new case! It's a little thick; I might have [ __ ] up my tapping.

That was like the sweetest thing I could tap! Three times! Boom, boom, boom!

You're going to have to work out your hands more!

Go see Shazam! Comes up!

Hell yeah!

Yeah, I got to get better finger strength! Got to get better!

You're telling me, buddy! Got to work on my piano skills!

I imagine piano players, man! That kind of dexterity in your fingers!

That piano, and guitar, or anything you could do with your fingers like that, that’s some wild dexterity to have!

There are Instagram videos—I got a trick for that!

There’s no need for dexterity these days!

Oh, yeah?

Well, I mean, if you're going to play like a full song, then yeah, you need dexterity and actual piano lessons!

But if you're the type of guy like me who just every now and then comes across a piano and you want to impress people, there are these Instagram videos that have like four keys tops!

And if you play like the keys the way they tell you, it's a simple little pattern, but it sounds like you're doing a bunch!

It sounds like you have dexterity! So it's cool!

I just like to trick people!

I have no real skills!

I just—well, that's a skill! You just have a very small skill!

Yeah! Like you were playing pool earlier with Jake! You can make a ball right!

You—that’s a skill! You're just not a professional pool player! That's the difference!

I know enough to get by! I'm like that! I'm like Leo on Catch Me If You Can!

Like I'll get by, I'll get some money, but there won't be a real career here!

Well, you know, that's one of the beautiful things about anything! Like you learn and then you realize how much more there is to learn!

Like I remember when I first started doing stand-up, you know, all you're trying to do is just get a laugh! Just all you're trying to do is like figure out how to not drown up there!

And slowly but surely try to find things that you think are funny and that make you—but you're getting better! You know, over time!

For sure! Everybody gets better! For sure!

And there’s something about that that’s [ __ ] cool!

And it's—it seems to never end, man! That's what I love about stand-up!

I've always loved to learn! Like I love—I've had various jobs just for the sake of learning that specific little trade!

But stand-up was the first thing that I was like, "Man, this is never-ending! Like I'm never going to finish learning! I'm never going to finish getting as good as I want to get! So that's the one that I really stuck to!"

Yeah, it’s a beautiful thing too 'cause you get this amazing feedback from all these people!

Then you make them feel better!

Yeah! Like when people leave a great show, they have this [ __ ] smile on their face!

Like, "Oh, [ __ ]! That was great! That was so fun! That was so fun!"

Sometimes girls want to have sex with you after; that's crazy!

You're bringing joy to all these people, but you're getting better at it too!

Dom Irera said that to me once, and Dom at the time was in his 60s, and he's like, "Joe, I don't think I've ever been sharper!"

He goes like—all these sets at the store—he goes, "I feel like stand-up is an amazing thing 'cause you could just keep getting better at it!"

I'm motivated to do more of it whether I kill or I bomb 'cause if I bomb, I'm like, "Bro, I have to fix that!"

Have you seen Ron White lately?

Ron White’s sober now!

He doesn’t drink anymore!

Better than ever!

Yeah, better than ever!

You see? That’s why I want to stay!

So murdering! Murdering! I mean murdering!

Ron White, a [ __ ] assassin!

And he's like never been sharper! New bits! Always working on new [ __ ]! Constantly rolling out new material!

He's going on tour again! He was going to have a retirement party! I'm like [ __ ] you! You ain't retiring!

I don't think you could retire from stand-up! I think—I mean, what do I know?

But he was saying that he was just going to do the club!

He’s like, "I’ll just do the Mothership!" I'm like, yeah, for a while, you're just going to do the Mothership, but you're going to get that itch!

I don't know! I don't know what he's going through or anything, but I feel like this is the type of game where you could try to retire!

You could try to take breaks, but man, there’s no finishing this! It's too fun!

Yeah, there's just no way to finish! And you're doing it with people that are like you—like we're weirdos!

We can find other comics to hang out with! They're the most forgiving, understanding, ridiculous people! Talk [ __ ] to each other all the time! Everyone's laughing!

That green room at the mothership, at any given night, it is just like a full-on show, and we're all howling at each other!

You know, Hench Cliff's cracking on people; Shane Gillis is cracking on people; Ron White chimes in; Brian Simpson dumps on people! It’s wild back there!

We're having so much fun just all laughing at each other, just all falling down on the ground, slapping tables, just [ __ ] dope, man!

It’s beautiful!

It’s hard to like joke! It's hard to go back from that!

Like when you get used to talking [ __ ] with comics, my group of friends that I grew up with, we talked heavy amounts of [ __ ] to each other!

Like there was no lie!

And I feel like with comics, you can do that too, you know?

Everybody's shooting the [ __ ]!

But it's tough sometimes! Like going home or trying to like—

Like I've dated people where I meet their family or whatever, and you know you start to get a little comfortable, but you're there, like you forget that they have their line is way [ __ ] down the road!

Yeah!

And I’m like, "[ __ ] like you passed their line a lot!"

You passed their line in the third grade!

Yeah!

I've said some jokes in front of like the family of girls I've dated or something like that where they're just like, "Holy [ __ ] man!"

I'm like, "All right, my bad! My bad!"

It's just tough to go back! But sometimes I kind of miss that too—to be around somebody who's like not a comic!

Like, I don't know, my uncle has a body shop, and sometimes there's just random dudes that will go hang out—dudes that are getting their cars painted there.

And sometimes I like miss those guys 'cause I remember them just talking [ __ ] about like just random things!

Regular dudes!

Yeah! Sometimes they're curious about things and they don't have the knowledge of like the celebrity world or like the outside this or that.

You're just kind of shooting [ __ ]!

Sometimes I do kind of miss those convos.

But I don’t know! I don't like them getting mad at Joe!

Yeah, I know what you're saying!

Yeah, I mean, I got a lot of friends that have regular jobs! One of my best friends works as a maintenance guy at a high school! I've known him since I was like 24, 23!

Do you ever imagine like shouting out to Tommy Jr? Yo, what up Tommy Jr!

Do you ever imagine like going back to something like that, like to like regular life?

Yeah! Do you ever?

Yeah!

Well, I think everybody that gets real famous, there's a certain amount of pressure that comes with that that's not comfortable for some people!

You know, like you think how it is, like reading your comments, you imagine if I read my comments?

I was going to ask you about that too. Do you ever read them?

No! They’re not good for you!

They're not! No, I think the bad ones are not good for you, and the good ones aren't good for you either!

No, see, they can't be! 'Cause you got to stay you no matter what, and that's difficult!

And a lot of guys lose their mind, and I've lost my mind a few times and got it back!

But you could lose your mind!

You can get lost in you know other people's opinions of you!

Who are you really?

You need at least some amount of time in your day to self-reflect! Just self-reflect!

You know if you half-ass something or if you did a good job!

You know if you’re prepared for something the way you should have!

You know if a show went well! You know if a show sucked!

You know you were off! Like you didn't have something—anything!

Whatever it is! You know, and if you don’t spend enough time thinking about that and working on those things—whether it's with your personal life or your stand-up or your hobbies or anything that you're doing!

If you don't have at least some time where you’re not thinking about other people's opinions but you're just looking at it yourself, then you got too much noise coming in, and too much noise [ __ ] you!

I didn't say [ __ ] you!

And then you see people where their whole life is engaged in these meaningless disputes with people!

Meaningless!

Yeah! That energy that you could spend on positive things like friendships, like a hobby that you enjoy, like your loved ones, like positive things about life!

And I think for some people, they get trapped in this world of other people's opinions, and they don't take enough time to look at themselves!

Think about yourself! Think about what you're doing!

I'm learning!

Yeah! I’m learning that at least for me! I don’t know—I feel like stand-up is a lot like a fight or like racing a car!

Like everybody can have an opinion on why you won it, why you lost it, the race or the—but nobody's really in the car with you!

Nobody saw if you actually shifted wrong or correctly or if it was because you ducked when you should have punched or something!

Right? Only you know! Only you know!

Yeah!

Learning that!

Yeah, but that's I guess that's the case with everything! And there's nothing wrong with people expressing opinions!

But I just don’t think it’s good for you to get engaged with them!

I just don’t think that's mentally healthy!

Oh, I've engaged! I'm sure I engaged for like a good two hours!

But here’s my—here’s where I [ __ ] up! Not only engaging is I waited to post a clip, and I had a feeling that a few people would talk some [ __ ]!

So I waited to post it on an afternoon where I’d have some time to engage! Like I knew I would on purpose!

You were ready!

Yeah, I was like, "Nah, 'cause I want to see what people say!"

Right, U—but after a while!

I was like, "All right! I've engaged enough!"

Like—but yeah, after that, I was like, "Nah, I'm not doing this again!"

That was kind of my like, all right, I'm good on engaging point!

That was when I realized like I should I should not check social media anymore or not as often!

I posted a clip making fun of Latino Republicans!

I didn't even like say anything harsh!

They got mad!

I didn't say—I like— I said is they look weird!

That's the heaviest thing I said was that it's weird to see a dude with an accent be like, "We got to stop immigrants!"

You know, you're like wondering when they got here!

I didn't—I was like, "I don't know! They're saying they're wrong! I mean [ __ ] robot doesn't taste weird, but I mean you need it!"

Right? Like maybe it's working, I don't know!

So I'm not saying they're wrong; I just said it looks weird!

Well, there’s a shitload of them in Florida—all the people that came from communist countries!

Fu that nonsense!

So a lot of people who came from—

You one of these little cigars?

Yeah, these little Ron White specials.

Ron White got me on these little cigars—these little baby cigars! You don’t have to finish a whole one!

A lot of the people who were commenting were like people who came from communist countries, and I don't know their experience!

I don't know the experience of anybody, really! I'm just up there talking some [ __ ]!

But I wasn't trying to change anybody's mind! I wasn't like talking [ __ ]!

Yeah, I was like, "You shouldn't be!"

And people were in the comments, they were like, "Uh, Ralph doesn't understand politics!"

Yeah, I don't! This is a joke!

Like, "Yeah, I'm just talking [ __ ]!"

Also, I just say you look weird! I didn't say nothing wrong with it!

You know what I mean? Some Versace shirts look weird!

They do look weird! But they're nice; they're nice, you know what I mean?

Wasn't that what Shane got for the fights? He got a Versace shirt—a golden Versace shirt! That [ __ ] looked dope!

That's a bold move! You know, you got a gold Versace shirt on, you’re like, "I'm here to party!"

You know, that's like the ultimate Hawaiian shirt! Like a Hawaiian shirt is, "I'm here to party!" and a Versace!

Yeah, I saw—yeah, yeah, yeah, I know what you’re talking about!

He posted a picture, right? Look at him with the president—with the former president.

It's blurry as [ __ ]!

It's a blurry picture, by the way!

Like, I'm not like a Trump supporter or nothing, but that's just a [ __ ] dope picture! That's a fun picture!

Have you ever seen Shane’s Trump impression?

Yeah, it’s [ __ ] insane!

It's so good!

You have like an astray?

Oh, right there?

If I was Trump’s friend, I'd try to get him to shave his head!

I’d be like, "Come on, bro! I want to take more cool pictures like that! Just post them every now and again!"

I don't think he put like a caption, right?

I don't—I don’t know what he put up!

I don't think he put a—bro, that's [ __ ] genius!

That's why this dude's like the next goat, bro!

Oh, he's so funny, man! He's so funny!

He has about Navy SEALs, oh my God!

I could watch it a hundred times!

I could watch it a hundred times!

He's so funny, man! And he's out here too now!

It's cool because we got like this real good vibe going where everybody's just really [ __ ] having fun!

And there's all these young guys coming up!’ Cause like a big point of the club was development!

Like we want to have two nights of open mic night every Sunday—every Monday open mic night!

And then Monday, Kill Tony!

Kill Tony's the anchor! That's the anchor!

'Cause it sets the tone of the culture! Like you have one minute, and in that minute you got to be funny!

You just got to be!

And then people realize like, "Oh, that's what this is all about!"

Yeah, this is an art form! It’s an art form!

And it's about how to be funny! And everybody's got their own way!

You know, Ali Sadik has these great stories! He's got these beautiful long stories! He's an amazing storyteller, you know?

And then you got Joey Diaz, who's like bang, bang, bang, bang, bang!

Bang! Bang! Bang!

He hits you with those bang, bang, bangs!

I love the upstairs room—the little boy!

Because you got comics going up, but you also have like every employee in the mothership going up!

They're all comics!

But you're a lot of comics working—trying to like with the—like across the country, whatever their club is!

And sometimes even they don't get really the chance! You know what I mean?

Yeah! Well, we all came from open mics! Everybody did! Like that's the only way to do it! You have to get on stage!

So why would a club not have an open mic? And they're like, "Well, it doesn't—you know, we could fill it up with a headliner."

Yeah, you could! You could!

But you're making a short-term gain decision where you're making more money, and you're not looking at the long-term!

Just for the art form! The art form needs seeds!

It needs plants! It needs someone to help!

You need someone to tend the garden; you need someone to give people opportunities and to say like this is a renewable resource!

This beautiful thing that we all enjoy—the people talking [ __ ] and us laughing—it's the most beautiful thing! I love it to death!

There's the art side and the business side!

Yeah, well, that's there too! You got to be a balance to it! That's where you—you gotta—I don't know, man!

No one else—I don't know anybody else who did it this way!

'Cause we had to do it in a way where, you know, we all got up and moved, right?

So it was crazy in the first place!

And we all took this chance to come here!

And in the beginning, a lot of guys moved long before there was a club!

So we were just doing the Vulcan!

And they had heard that, "Oh, they got these wild ass shows they're doing in Texas indoors in November of 2020."

We were doing shows indoors! And it just started coming!

And then one day we did a show with Ron White, and Ron White grabbed my shoulders. He got off!

So he hadn’t done stand-up in like eight months! He grabs my shoulders—whatever the [ __ ] we have to do, we're doing this!

He goes, "When are you going to get your [ __ ] club opens up?"

I go, "Let's [ __ ] go, Ron White! Let's do [ __ ]!"

He's like, "Let's [ __ ] go!"

I mean, he had just gotten off stage.

Yo, and then he gave you these cigars!

Yeah, he loves these little cigars!

I like these—they're good!

If you don’t want a whole cigar!

I never smoked a cigar until I hung out with—

You want a big one? You want a real cigar?

Yeah, I take a big cigar!

Hold on, please! Hold on, please!

Get you some of these! Foundation cigars!

We got our own cigar, bro!

You make those cigars?

No! Foundation cigars, dude!

Oh! I’ve never heard of that company!

I’m new to the cigar world!

I just got into it like in the summer!

I'm learning! Shout out to my man Nick!

Yeah, this dude—he—I was super skeptical! He goes, "We made you some cigars!"

I’m like, "Come on, man! These are probably going to be whack cigars with a label on it!"

But no, this dude is like a real cigar head!

You know, he travels to the places where they grow it!

And he's involved in the whole process of it!

And yeah, he makes a bunch of like really dope cigars!

Like Willy Wonka when he traveled to the jungle to find Oompa Loompas and stuff!

Something like that!

Yeah! But anyone—I mean anytime I hear like, "Here, you know how to work these like that!"

Oh [ __ ]! There you go!

Anytime I meet a dude who's like really into something—like my friend Evan from Black Rifle Coffee, that dude is like super, super into coffee!

And he's got this laboratory at his factory!

He took us to the Black Rifle warehouses where they do all their work there and do all the roasting!

They have these giant roasting machines, and he's got this laboratory where he's testing different weights of how much coffee you put in, different temperatures!

And they've got these dudes sitting around sipping them trying to figure out what’s the perfect way to do this [ __ ]!

Like they’re doing it like a lab!

Professional sippers!

Yeah, man! But that’s when you're going to get that dope coffee! That really good coffee!

I'm just getting into coffee this year—coffee and cigars! That’s 2023 Ralph right there!

I had this dude on once—I always forget his name! A lot of Peter Joul?

Yeah, I've had a lot of dudes on there, but I had this dude on who was a real coffee expert, and he schooled me!

He had all the different kinds of coffee and how they grow them and how they take care of them, and he had this one guy on here once!

I remember watching the clips on YouTube where he was talking about like Christianity, like ancient Christianity!

Yeah, and he asked you about—I think it was a clip about psychedelics, but I forgot!

I forgot the exact question he asked you!

He was like, "Can I tell you—" he like, “Can I tell you about like the way Christianity was?" or something!

I forgot the exact question he asked you, and you said yeah! And he kind of laughed a little bit!

But I scared the [ __ ] out of me!

If I would have heard the guy laugh after he’s like, "Can I tell you about this?" and I'm like, "Yeah!"

And then he laughs, I’d be like, "Never mind, bro! I feel like why did he laugh?"

"What are you g to tell him? You going to say a magic spell?"

What are you going to say?

He was talking about a—I don't remember all of it! I just remember he was talking about like that Christianity used to be kind of like a cult!

And he was saying something about they went underground with it to watch it or something!

Who was that, Jamie? You know who that is?

I was thinking he was talking about—Brian.

Probably could—somebody else? It might have been Brian! Brian's amazing!

Yeah, I mean it was it was a cool episode!

I—man! I learned a lot of [ __ ] about Christianity that I later forgot!

But it was just that one—the one way he asked the question that scared the [ __ ] out of me!

And I was watching the clip like at 1:00 a.m. just chilling! You know?

So I turned that off, and I just turned the lights on in my room! I was like, "All right!"

All freak me out a little bit!

What's interesting about Christianity is everybody wants to know what was the first [ __ ] they wrote down!

Like everybody knows like the New Testament! Right, the New Testament!

But then you go, "What about the Old Testament?"

Like, "Ah, don't pay attention to that!"

Yeah, I don't really like that!

They be changing [ __ ]!

You know? Give me one set of rules! Leave it!

Now if you choose to follow them or not, that’s on you!

But don't change [ __ ]!

Even if it is the writings of Jesus!

Even if it is the writings of—even if all that is unadulterated, it's not been altered by human beings!

It's still put together by people! Written down by people!

You ever do that thing—and very different than the Old Testament—they, uh, I remember they did this like at Barber College once just to like teach us a lesson or some [ __ ]!

I don't know! But they had this long bench, and they sat down all the students, and our instructor whispered a secret to the first person on the far right!

And then they got to keep—yeah! You got to just keep whispering the secret down the line!

And by the end of the line, it's a totally different sentence!

Right? That [ __ ] made me never want to like check out the Bible anymore!

Yeah!

The Bible was—they think it was an oral tradition for hundreds, if not a thousand years, before they ever wrote it down!

God damn!

Yeah!

Yeah, that's a lot of mix-up!

Could be!

Yeah, for sure!

People could have added some [ __ ] in there!

You religious at all? Like do you go to church or anything? You follow religious?

I'm not religious, but I'm not an atheist!

People always say I'm an atheist; I'm not an atheist!

I feel like I'm on something like that! You know?

Like there’s something going on out there!

I mean, I grew up like somewhat Catholic! Like how most Mexican Catholics are!

Like maybe you don’t go to church, but you do this thing all the time!

Yeah!

So like I still like, you know, like—but yeah, there is—I don’t know, man, I don’t know what to believe!

I do want to have a religion! I'm not going to lie!

There was a good one, one you could really lock into!

Like man, you guys are making sense!

I just like that people really like lock into something!

And like, I don't know, man! I want to—I want to like defend something!

I want to be like, "You don't speak that way about Allah!"

Right?

It's a nice gang to be a part of, right?

Very aggressive gang!

But I also feel like the gang I belong to, whether I like it or not, is like the comedy world!

Just make fun of everything!

Yeah, that’s our gang!

But I think religion helps a lot of people!

And I don’t necessarily think it’s—

Oh yeah!

I think it came from somewhere, and I think there’s like real wisdom to these stories that people wrote down thousands of years ago!

But there’s a lot of problems in the translations too, 'cause they’re translating [ __ ] from like...

Here’s a good example: the Dead Sea Scrolls is the oldest version of the Bible that they’re aware of, and it’s from Qumran!

These—it's this—their had these like—I don’t know—these caves, and they found these big pottery vessels with scrolls in them!

And these scrolls, they're all made of animal skins! Like that’s how old they are! That was their paper they wrote on!

And one of the ways that they figured out they had to put it all together again and a lot of it was crumpled and fallen apart and so they had to do DNA testing so that they could figure out, "Okay, this sample, these samples are all from this cow!"

And so we put these here, and it took them [ __ ] years and years and years to do this!

And after 14 years of deciphering it, there was this one guy; his name is John Marco Allegro!

And he was an ordained minister, but he was also agnostic because when he studied theology, the more he started studying it, the more he was like, "Wait, what the [ __ ] is—how come this is so much different than this, and what's the origins of these words? And where's this all come from?"

So this guy studies this Dead Sea Scrolls for 14 years, and then he writes a book called "The Sacred Mushroom and the Cross."

And he said that the whole Christian religion was really about psychedelic mushrooms and fertility rituals!

That these people had hidden all of these stories and these allegories, and in these tales, they'd hidden all this information about what to do and when to do it!

And that all—like it’s a very, very controversial book!

But that all like—even you think they got it at Barnes & Noble?

I think you probably get it now!

I know it got—they think it was bought out by the Catholic Church for a long time, and then I didn’t know the Catholic Church was buying out books!

Like, "Fu, they didn’t want this one out!"

Some Wolf of Wall Street [ __ ]!

I don’t know if that’s true! I need to find out if that’s true! 'Cause I've said it before, ‘cause someone told it to me!

Dude, if you say it with enough confidence, it’s true!

Yeah! If you say it with enough confidence, you—

But the Catholic Church bought out GameStop a couple years ago!

They’re responsible for Battlefield Earth!

Hell yeah, man, that’s crazy that they were writing on like cow skin!

Yeah, that’s all they had!

[ __ ] cows, man!

Cows have never had it easy on this Earth, bro! Kobe beef!

Even when they have a good life, it's only for Kobe beef!

You know what I mean?

Right? Even if they have a good life, it’s only like 16 years old!

Where is it? Like in Japan where they really like massage them?

Imagine being that cow, just being like, "Damn, I've heard about cows that get slaughtered, but man, I got lucky to be born this life!"

And they're like, "Nope, you got slightly luckier than the other cows, but still a cow!"

The thing about cows is if you care about suffering, you can buy beef from a regenerative farm where that cow dies instantly, lives a great life until it dies, and then you’d say like, "No, we should let them free!"

They should be free!

The way they die when they're free is horrific!

Yeah, horrific!

Yeah! Because they get eaten to death!

Oh, yeah, right?

Yeah, they get eaten!

Most of them are not going to make it past being a calf!

Mountain lions, bears, wolves—if they bring wolves back!

They've brought wolves back everywhere now!

Wolves are in Colorado now!

They're moving them in!

Yeah, they’re moving them in!

Bad ass!

I don't know, you heard the wolves are back in town?

The wolves are back in town!

I think that's the boys!

Oh, yeah, yeah!

Well, you know what they're back in town? They're going to eat your dog!

They're going to kill your kids!

Oh [ __ ], I didn’t think about that!

That's the Little Red Riding Hood [ __ ]!

That's all the big bad wolf!

That's 'cause in Europe, in like the 1400s or whatever the [ __ ]—they're eating people's grandmas!

And [ __ ]—they ate everybody!

Wolves ate people!

Wait, what year was this?

Listen! Wolves always eat people!

In World War I, there was a ceasefire between the Germans and the Russians because wolves were eating so many soldiers that they decided to band together and kill the wolves!

Oh [ __ ], so you know, maybe they're not a problem!

The world is very split right now!

Maybe wolves are going to bring us back together!

Maybe, man!

Also, maybe we need to bring back psychedelic Christianity!

I think that's what Red Riding Hood was on!

That's why she thought the wolf was her grandma and [ __ ]!

Probably tripping!

Yeah! Imagine how high you have to be to think a wolf with a dress is your grandma!

I'll tell you this though, on the whole Christian psychedelic trip [ __ ]—one time I ate like, 9 or 10 grams of shrooms, and I swear to God, the ceiling—there was a face in it!

And I, like, for some reason in my mind, I was like, "That's God!" and he’s [ __ ] pissed!

And then I pissed!

Yeah, at you!

Yeah, for what?

I don't know! I think it's just 'cause on the inside, I'm always—I've never done mushrooms out in the—like during the day!

I know some people are like, "Yeah, man, do mushrooms, go to a park!" Nah!

uh-uh!

'Cause I do believe there's like God out there, some sort of God, and I don’t think he’s necessarily like the good guy on a TV show; I think he's God!

You know what I mean?

You ever had like a boss, like at a place, and maybe he's not exactly fair, maybe he's not exactly nice, but he's the [ __ ] boss!

And what he says goes!

I feel like maybe that's what God is, you know, for better or worse!

And I feel like if I do mushrooms out in the open, he's going to be like mad!

So I do them at night!

I usually do them in my hotel rooms!

I’ll do research on hotels that have like artwork and stuff!

Like Hotel Indigo's a great place to trip! Especially the one in Houston!

If I go to Houston, I'm staying at the Hotel Indigo!

But yeah, the ceiling, man! I was tripping so hard, and the face came out, and it looked like it looked like a hand, and then like an elbow!

And then I felt like it was putting its elbow on my neck!

And I couldn't breathe!

I started trying to breathe real hard!

And my buddy was like having a nice trip, he was just like, "That’s right, man! Breathe!"

I was like, "No, dumbass! Like, I can't breathe! Like God's choking me!"

Yeah!

But I feel like that was maybe in my mind!

Well, it’s definitely in your mind!

Yeah, you know, like just feeling pressure in general!

Right? Wondering if I'm doing the right thing or not!

Yeah, well, a lot of changes have happened really quickly with you!

You know, Brian Simpson was telling me that you were going to open for him one weekend in January of 2022, I think!

And then you blew up!

And then he called you, and you're like, "Bro, I'm headlining all these clubs now!"

Nah, he said—the story's a little different! He said you were doing great!

I mean, yeah, I was doing—he said it was a period of a few months!

And he got a hold of you and you were headlining everywhere!

I can’t, man! I shouldn’t say how the story went 'cause I'm not even sure how the story went!

Maybe that is how!

I do remember we spoke, and I was just telling him like, "Man, I want to open for you!"

'Cause [ __ ] Brian Simpson! That dude's hilarious! You know?

Hilarious!

But at the same time, I was like, "I kind of want to take my chances on some headlining!"

Like headlining my own shows here!

But looking back on it, I mean, there are no regrets!

I feel like as long as I'm doing whatever I feel like doing in that moment, there's no regrets!

But looking back on it, I do wish things would have gone maybe a little slower for me just 'cause I was still a feature!

I wasn't used to headlining shows!

When I started headlining shows, and I feel like a lot of my shows were me still very much learning and getting comfortable with an hour on stage!

And like I love my Netflix special! Don't get me wrong! Like I’m proud of it! I want people to watch it!

But I feel like after the special came out is when I actually got to like enjoy headlining on the road!

And I feel like now I'm in—I’m at a much more comfortable level!

And now, I’m pretty sure this happens to a lot of comics, but I like this material now!

Like this is where it’s at!

Yeah, I don’t even want to post it!

I want to post it! I have certain jokes that I'm like, "Bro, if I could just post this, people will [ __ ] with it!"

I bet!

But there's a lot of it that I'm like, "Nah, if I don't post it, I can just keep doing it like on the road and give people a hell of a show!"

Keep and put it together on your next special!

You're on the road! You're on your path now, man! That's [ __ ] awesome!

That's what it's about!

How old are you?

27!

That's beautiful, man!

That's beautiful! What a good time!

Yeah! I like 27, man!

26 was better, but 27's all right!

Listen, I know it all came fast to you, but you just got to accept that gift!

This is just—you know you can't—you got a gift!

It's a beautiful gift of being in the right time with the right tools available and having a great set and having a piece of that!

Get out to inhale that one!

Yeah! Don't inhale this, man! It’ll [ __ ] you up!

But it’s—you know, it's a gift by the universe, and you gotta, you know, you got to ride that gift!

And it's going to be—weirder that you go from middling all of a sudden you're headlining everywhere!

But so what? You're funny, man!

I felt like a young Rocky!

You know how in Rocky One he's like kind of older already, and then I don’t know where he gets his shot?

You know?

I felt like maybe like a younger inexperienced Rocky, and then I got like a shot!

Yeah! You know, but the audience knows, though, too! That’s the cool thing!

Like they know that you're kind of new to this but they love you, and they want to come see you!

Yeah, it’s been dope, man!

People are so supportive!

Do you remember that—what is that girl's name? Is it Angela Johnson?

The one who has that Vietnamese bit?

She helped me out a lot, by the way!

That girl had the same kind of thing happen to her!

Yeah! She was doing comedy like a few months or something like that, and then her bit went viral on MySpace, bro!

She was middling and selling out clubs!

And then people would leave when the headliner would go up!

That’s gu to [ __ ] piss off a headliner!

Oh my God!

Could you imagine like the place is packed and you're the headliner, but you know they're all there for the middle act?

What a drag, man!

But that was real! That was what was going on for a while with her!

She was telling me about that! For a while, she was—she was doing theaters or whatever.

She just— isn't she a serious Christian?

Yeah!

Yeah, she's a serious Christian!

She’s doing like theaters or she’s doing theaters and then she did like a special, like 20—what year are we in right now?

23!

23!

So like 22 maybe it was!

I might be getting this wrong! You want some coffee?

I'm okay! I’m okay!

But she was—she put out got this special, and she had been like, you know, doing theaters, but after she did her special, her last special, she booked a lot of club gigs, she told me!

And so she went to San Antonio to the LOL to just book back-to-back gigs to keep running material and [ __ ]!

And um, I don't know! I kind of just took like a page from that book!

I was opening for her for like eight of those shows!

And we did LOL and San Antonio!

I mean [ __ ], you know, it's like Mexico City there!

So like I have a lot of tickets to sell there, man! So every time they wanted to add a show, I was like, "Yes! Add it! Yes! Add it!"

Like I'm just going to work out so much [ __ ] here!

But then now that I did it—we did the first weekend—the first weekend was ten shows!

This next upcoming weekend is the next ten shows!

But like six, five shows in, I was like, "Well, hold up! This might be not as productive as I thought it was!"

'Cause every audience is just 99% Latino, Hispanic, Mexican!

And I’m like, "I [ __ ]— I was like, I need to work out material in front of everybody! It can’t just be only my audience!

It can’t just be Hispanics!

Like they're going to [ __ ]—they're going to baby me too much! I'm not going to grow!"

So I came down here, I was like, "[ __ ]! Like no offense to my audience! I love them like [ __ ] keep coming out!

I [ __ ] with them all day! But I also need to get in front of strangers!

I also need to get in front of different people! Some Asians, some Indians, some white guys!

Like I need to get in front of everybody! If I truly want to grow!"

At least that’s my opinion, you know what I mean?

I think that’s a good opinion! I think that opinion is shared by a lot of people!

I think getting in front of as many different audiences is real important, especially in the early days!

You know you gotta—that’s why the road I think is so important!

If you live in New York City, you kind of think that everybody thinks like people from New York City!

And then you go do a gig in Oklahoma and you're like oh!

Okay!

I love New York too, though!

'Cause you get a little bit of like those diverse strangers!

Oh, New York's great! New York's an amazing place to do comedy!

Like, comedy gym!

You ever watch, uh—what is it? Christian Bales’ Batman?

And he goes up to like Nepal to become Batman, to like train?

Sometimes, man, when I was frustrated, and especially before I got to tour,

When I was still just like a feature and opener, you know what I mean?

An open mic, go crash on my buddy's couch for like a month or two in New York and just [ __ ] work it out!

You know what I mean?

New York has always been a great place for talent, you know?

I mean, there's always guys like Attell in New York and there—it's always in New York!

R—I—it's a New York's a great place!

It's just not for me, man!

No!

It's too many [ __ ] people!

Too many people jammed on top of each other!

I'm just too—I don’t like that that much!

I like some quiet! I like some peace!

I feel that! I live out in the country right now!

Oh, do you?

Yeah, I live out like an hour south of Dallas!

Oh, that’s great!

My dad lives out there! He bought land when he was like 20 there, like a little trailer home!

And he always kept it!

He'd move around a lot!

You know? He was an unstable guy, just up and down with her!

But he always kept that land and once he became more of like a family man, you know, he's married to my stepmom; I have younger siblings—he like, you know, made sure that they lived there!

He got out of prison like 2019 and he went back to like painting cars, working on cars!

Started saving money! Started doing like contractor jobs!

Started his own business! Now he does like pretty big business contract-type work with a couple other guys that have their own business!

And he like built his dream house!

Oh, nice!

On that land! No more trailer home!

He gave the trailer home to my cousin and they moved it like further back on the next piece of land!

So, you know, now he has to like start his own little journey with her!

Nice!

But he built that—he built that house, and it's nice, man!

I started building a house on that land as well before my cousin’s house, so I could like outside my cousin’s house but it’s not done!

But my house is purely like...I’m not even looking forward to—I’m not even trying too much right now to like actually build a house and be like, "This is I want my kitchen and living room!"

I’m not even worried about it!

Where I'm living compartment is on the upstairs, I’m worried about the downstairs 'cause that's going to be like my shop!

I used to paint cars and I want to do that in my free time again!

What kind of painting?

Like I was—I was still very much like artistic painting, you mean? No!

Like, you know, paint the cars!