How the algorithm controls your life

One thing that I'm really starting to notice is that it's becoming extremely difficult not to spend all of our time on social media, on the internet, and all of that during these times of isolation. As if it wasn't already a huge problem. And it kind of makes sense when you think about it. If people are locked inside their houses all day long, then obviously they're going to start gravitating towards these pleasure boxes, these entertainment cubes.

And I don't want to be another video that's just like smartphone bad, books good. But I do think that the growing influence of these algorithm-heavy websites needs to be talked about. Because the majority of these websites, or these apps, are designed from the ground up to be as addictive as possible. You know, I just finished watching the documentary "The Social Dilemma" on Netflix, and it really reminded me of some of the things that I also read in "Digital Minimalism" by Cal Newport.

And that is that for these big tech companies, our attention is their currency. You know, we're not the customer; we're the product. The customer of Facebook, and Instagram, and whatever are the third-party companies that have advertising on their platform and that gets advertised to us. So it's in big tech's best interest to keep us hooked on these apps for as long as possible.

And that's why they're so algorithm-dependent. Because there hasn't been a tool in history that has been so powerful at predicting what you're going to do next, what your likes and what your dislikes are, what videos you're most likely to binge, what topics you're most interested in. These websites are unbelievably good at just serving you a video that you're likely to watch and that you're likely to waste a lot of time on.

You know, maybe this video, this type of self-improvement content is something that you're likely to binge, which is why I ended up on your YouTube homepage. These algorithms are powerful, and I don't want to be all doom and gloom about this. You know, I'm not saying that there's nothing we can do about it, but I think it is important to be conscious of our behavior because these apps rely so heavily on our unconscious behavior.

So, what's the solution? It would probably be pretty lonely if we just, you know, cut ourselves off from technology altogether and then also just lived in an empty house by ourselves for months and months and months until this whole thing blows over. But at the same time, we do have to be proactive with finding solutions, I think. Otherwise, our internet use is gonna get so out of control and occupy like 90% of our day. And when the pandemic is actually over, we're still gonna have this habit of just waking up and going on the internet for like 90% of the day and then going to bed.

And I'm not sure if I have the answer to this problem because everybody's life is so different. So I figured it would be really cool to talk to my friend and fellow creator Nathaniel Drew about this issue and try to get his thoughts on maybe some solutions. And hopefully through our conversation, you guys can start thinking about a game plan that makes sense for you and your life.

So Nathaniel, what do we do about this problem?

Nathaniel: There is a lot we can do about it. You know, this is nowhere near a sort of situation where it's like out of our control, that's it, we live in a dystopia. Like, I'm seeing more and more people wake up to this, and I find that very encouraging. And I have felt in myself over the last year, particularly because of the imbalances that I feel in my life and in the world, that I am also making an effort to not feel like I'm at the mercy of this machine learning that is deciding everything for me.

I do believe I have control over this to a certain extent, and if that means that at times I need to remove myself from it or change things up, then so be it. But I have control over that.

You know, right off the bat, I love this point that Nathan makes. You know, my entire last video was about how having an internal locus of control is extremely important. When everything around us seems to be so out of our control, we can't control the pandemic, we can't control the economy. You know, we can't control a lot in our lives, but we do have control over our actions and our behaviors. And I feel like social media's influence on us is a great example of something that we have the power to be proactive about.

I think this is really interesting, internal locus.

Nathaniel: Yeah, yeah dude. You know, if you're trying to break out of an algorithmically controlled life, I would say there's two things to take into consideration. One, there's a level of personal accountability. Take a level of ownership over your decisions and how you're spending your time. Like there's no alternative to that; there's no workaround. But there's also a level of understanding that helps me feel a little bit more self-compassionate when I recognize that, okay, I am susceptible to distractions and brightly colored interesting-looking thumbnails, let's say.

And so I take steps to sort of remove it from or add friction, right? Like make it all a little bit less accessible. And I think it's been a process. Dude, I say this all the time; I feel like I sound like a broken record, but I'm always trying things out to see what works. And it's been a multi-month, multi-year process of me trying to figure out what is the life that I want to live and what is the level of information consumption that is right for me. I find I have to just check in with myself regularly, constantly almost.

So if how we spend our time is our choice, and we know that we probably shouldn't be spending as much time on social media, I think it's really important that we take out a good old-fashioned pen and paper and try to think about how we would ideally like to spend our day. You know, how much time do you want to be spending on social media? And you know, maybe that's not zero. Maybe you do want to engage in these pleasures a little bit, but be intentional with it. Try to plan out how much time you actually want to be spending and be conscious of that decision.

Otherwise, YouTube and Reddit and Facebook are really good at just stealing your time from you if you don't have a plan. And once you've made this plan, once you've kind of designed the structure around your social media use, I think there's a lot of tools. I think Apple has one if you have an iPhone; Android has one if you have an Android where you can actually set timers on certain apps. I'd highly recommend you look up, you know, a YouTube video on how to set timers on apps depending on what OS you have. That'll add an element of friction and help you stay on your goal.

Nathaniel: Yeah, I think that's a good, that's a really like level-headed approach. Because I feel like so many people, they get so fed up with like all the control that social media has over their lives, and they get very extreme about it. So they'll like smash their phone with a hammer or like install like blockers on their computer, and they're like, "Oh, I'm deleting my Facebook! I'm never going on any of these apps again! Yeah, I'm retaking control of my life!" But I feel like 99% of people who do that end up kind of like bouncing back. They underestimate the gravity of like what this social media is replacing in your life.

If you find yourself constantly escaping from reality, then you need to work really hard to create a reality you don't want to escape from. It's easy to forget about this being too externally focused, thinking there's solutions in terms of systems or how I should live my life or what I should be doing with my time that will solve everything. And that is a part of the equation, but it's not the whole thing. To get to a place where you're living a life that you don't necessarily want to escape from, there's an internal element. I don't know if that makes sense; it's sort of like a what is your relationship with yourself?

Yeah, I think a lot of us use technology as a form of escapism, which I can totally relate to, by the way. I know personally that especially in times like this, when I try to just not spend all day on Facebook or Instagram or even YouTube sometimes, an anxiety or discomfort starts to stir within me. And it's very uncomfortable; it actually feels almost physically painful to, you know, remove yourself from technology and just have a more boring day or at least a less stimulating day.

But I think it's extremely important that we engage with this side of ourselves. I think it's extremely important to really feel this boredom and to feel this anxiety so that we can actually work through it and stop escaping from it all the time. And there are a couple of things that you can do to sort of properly work through these emotions and become a lot more okay with being alone, being cut off from this constant flow of information.

One of my favorite ways of doing that is mindfulness—learning how to just observe your negative thoughts from sort of a third-person perspective. And also journaling, writing down things that you are concerned about and writing down a game plan for how you might overcome those obstacles. And honestly, just get outside! Get out of your house, go in nature. There are safe ways to leave your house, and I honestly think that one of the best ways to clear your head is to sort of reconnect with that primal aspect of you.

Go outside, go for a walk in nature, go for a hike. You know, exercise as much as possible. There are ways that you can spend time away from social media apps that are actually kind of fun and will make you feel a lot better. That's why I'm saying that this period of lockdown and time alone, it was painful and was difficult, especially early last year. But I'm really, really grateful that I went through this because it has completely shifted how I spend time with myself.

And I think I kind of saw more clearly than I've ever seen before that it all starts from there. So if I can't solve that, no matter what I try to do in a self-improvement sense, I will never get to that sort of lifestyle that makes me feel like I don't need to escape. Ultimately though, even the fact that you're watching this video hopefully has caused you to think about the role that you want social media and the internet in general to play in your lives.

And also be more cognizant of the fact that a lot of these websites that you like to spend time on are profiting greatly from your attention. They want to keep you hooked into them as much as possible, even at the expense of your mental health and your overall sense of well-being. And hopefully all this will help you spend your time in a way that you want to be spending it, not how Lord Zuck wants you to spend it.

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So as many of you guys know, one of my favorite ways to consume content without any algorithm involved is by listening to audiobooks. And by far the easiest way to do that is by using today's video sponsor, Audible. And if you're looking for something to listen to on Audible, one of my favorite books of all time in terms of just how helpful it was to me is "Digital Minimalism" by Cal Newport.

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So to sign up for your free 30-day trial, click the link in the description below, visit audible.com/betterideas, or text betterideas to 500-500. Once again, click the link in the description below or text betterideas to 500-500. Expand your mind, learn something new, and as usual, have a great time!

So usually this is the part of the video where I'm like, if you like this video, make sure you hit like! Because when you hit like, the algorithm blesses me, and it shoves my bald head into other people's home pages helping them out, which also helps me out, so it's a win-win for everybody. But even just saying that seems instinctually counterproductive to what I just said.

I don't think it is as counterproductive as I think it is because people are gonna get a video on their homepage no matter what. So it might as well be a video that's telling people to think about how much time they want to be spending on YouTube. However, the next part, if you're lurking here, consider subscribing and hitting the bell icon so you don't miss future videos.

Yeah, let's scrap that. You can subscribe if you want to, but really think about whether you want to be hitting that bell icon on any YouTuber in general. Because, you know, I would hate to be the person who interrupts a chess game with your father or a conversation with your grandma. You know, me being like, "Hey, get off social media!" and it's notification to tell you to get off social media; it's completely counterproductive.

Anyways, that's all for today. Thank you so much for watching, and we'll catch you in the next video.