15 Things Mentally Strong Women Don't Do
You know, some women are mentally strong and some aren't. But it's not a fixed trait. It really depends on your situation. It's also not something to be embarrassed about because it is something you can work on. It's not even fair that some women come out of their childhood and adolescent years unscathed, while others have to deal with a web of issues. It's not their fault, but it is the way it is. Your biology, environment, socioeconomic background, education, and support system all play a major role in how mentally strong you'll be as an adult. And the first step to fixing this is to recognize the patterns that you follow.
So let's take a look at 15 things some mentally strong women don't do. If you find yourself consistently doing any of these, well, you know which ones you need to work on. First up, strong women don't allow a problem to linger for too long. This is a blanket statement that applies to almost anything in life. It can be a problem with a colleague at work, an issue with your friend. It could be a plumbing issue at your house. A problem that lingers is more likely to overwhelm you. And mentally strong women know that they have to deal with the problem before it gets to that point.
They also don't avoid confrontation. It's not that they enjoy it or they welcome it, but they know that directly confronting the issue is the best way to get what they want without upsetting the person too much. Instead of seeing a confrontation as a battle, they see it as an opportunity to communicate with someone else, understand their perspective, and explain where they're coming from. Confrontation is a golden opportunity if you go in there with confidence. It's not something that you need to be afraid of.
And on a similar note, mentally strong women don't beat around the bush. For years, women have been told to say things nicely. Being nice takes a few extra words, some compliments, and letting people down easily. But look, the more words you have to add to what you need to say, the more likely it is that your message will be lost. Mentally strong women have learned to say things clearly and concisely. If someone else can't handle it, that's their problem. But at least they got the message out. Beating around the bush only gets you lost. It's time to go straight through.
They're not too critical or too hard on themselves. We tend to think that by being hard on ourselves, we're hopefully going to wake up and get our act together. But you're only telling yourself that you suck, and who feels motivated to work harder after hearing that? Nobody. Mentally strong women know that things happen. It's human to make mistakes, and everybody does it. So when they mess up, which is inevitable, they brush it right off. Make genuine apologies if they need to and get right back to what they wanted to do.
They don't bring other women down. It's the surest sign of someone who's insecure and unhappy with themselves. The moment you insult someone, whether it's for the clothes they wear, the media they consume, or their intelligence, you immediately send a message that something about this woman threatens you. Mentally strong women have no problem lifting other people up because they know there's enough space at the top for everyone.
On a similar note, they don't compare themselves to other women. Comparing yourself to someone else is more likely going to bring you down because comparing uses cognitive bias. And this directs us to focus more on negative things. Even if you think you're doing it to lift yourself up, you're going to notice the things you're lacking and still feel despondent. And if you somehow do find that you're better off than another woman at something, well, you're guilty of number five, bringing her down.
Mentally strong women don't complain without working toward a solution. It's okay to vent about a problem. Everyone needs to let off some steam. Sometimes, but constant complaining without taking action to fix what you're complaining about shows that you don't want a fix. You want attention. It shows that you don't want it to be resolved. You want something to talk about. Talking about the same issue only dumps you down and makes you focus on the same things over and over again. But when you talk about possible solutions, it's like your mind opens up and you feel stronger and more competent.
Mentally strong women don't lose all of their friends. There are some friends you'll need to cut out of your life, and there are friends you'll just drift apart from. But when you look around and none of your friends are in your life anymore, something's wrong. Whether you've let the friendships go because you've been focused on work, your partner, your family, whatever it is, you need good friends in your life. It's important to make the effort to keep them. It's important to put some differences aside and not let petty things get in the way of a great friendship.
They don't constantly argue with people. There's a difference between standing up for yourself and allowing people to have power over your emotions. When you're constantly arguing with the same person or you find yourself in arguments with other people, often even if they're wrong, you're beating a dead horse and you have to ask yourself what you're actually gaining from this. After some time, it's clear that their opinion isn't going to change. So what exactly is your end goal here? Mentally strong women know when to take a step back after stating their point.
They don't forsake self-care for other people. When you're missing the self-care routines that calm you down just so you can always be available for others, so that you can see everyone, you're emptying your cup and never filling it up. Your cup has to stay as full as possible for you to mentally be strong. So these women know that the best way they can be there for others is to be there for themselves first. A way with the people-pleasing? Be gone. Wearing yourself too thin. You are a priority to a sinking ship can save no one.
They don't have an individualistic mindset. Now, with that being said about taking care of yourself, these women also don't have an individualistic mindset. While they are okay with pursuing their own goals, desires, and needs, they know that cooperation is better than pure competition. They don't expect other people to just know their boundaries, history, and problems. They communicate it. And while they're independent and self-sufficient, they also know the importance of community and coming together to help each other and to stand by each other.
Mentally strong women don't harshly judge other people. Now, look. Humans do pass judgment on others. It's the way we make sense of things and form opinions on oppressions about people in the world. But if we allow these judgments to run wild, we risk making up our own stories about people without knowing things from their side. Mentally strong women know that with limited information, personal bias, and stereotypes, the judgment that we pass on to people is massively flawed, and we shouldn't base our opinions and behaviors toward them on this judgment alone.
They don't deliberately exclude other people. Now, most people will be at a point in their life when they're part of the in-crowd and someone new walks in. In high school, you might have been the one being excluded. And now that someone else is coming in, it's your chance to be the cool person, the one who makes someone squirm or welcomes them. Women who aren't mentally strong will feel threatened by other women coming in. They'll try to exclude them and make them feel unwelcome. But women who are mentally strong know that you're stronger when you're standing together, so they make an effort to include them.
Mentally strong women don't spend the majority of their free time being unproductive. Now, when we say unproductive, we mean hours of TV bingeing or scrolling through your phone. There is a difference between downtime and wasting your time. When you're at home, you don't have to move through your time on autopilot. As a species, we've never been this lazy. We've always worked. We've always had a great goal. And our minds and bodies are designed to move forward. When we don't, we become stagnant. So you've got your time to move forward with something, whether it's DIY in your house, learning new recipes, crafting, working on your motorbike or car. The goal is to just get off the couch.
And last but not least, mentally strong women don't allow anyone, but especially men, to dictate their actions and emotions. It's pretty easy for women to become frustrated with men because, hey, they tend to work and think so differently. This frustration can lead to explosive anger, a lot of hurt, and just being really, really annoyed. And it can be that way for women, too. But a mentally strong woman calls upon the philosophers of stoicism. They channel Marcus Aurelius and work on the principles of Plato, and they know that they can't control a situation, but they can control their response to it. That's where the power is. Your attitude is all yours.
And that's a wrap for today, my friend. That's 15 things that mentally strong women don't do. And as we said, being mentally strong is more of a phase than a lifetime personality trait. It depends on what's going on. We can all get into bad situations that can make us more vulnerable. And if we are unfortunate enough, enough to be around a person who takes advantage of this, they can tear you down, and you'll have to rebuild that strength again. Strength and weakness are not fixed, though. They're not forever. Like your fitness level, it takes consistent work, and one injury can throw you off. So if you fall a SA, give yourself some grace. Get back up and get back out there. We'll see you next time, my friend. Take care.