The #1 thing we’re afraid to talk about | Your Brain on Money

Things that people are more comfortable talking about than money: sex, war, trauma, religion, politics—it's literally anything.

What makes money such a taboo topic?

It's a combination of being judged by society, not having a roadmap, and then, certainly, our primitive brains thinking that we need to protect ourselves and stay silent to survive.

Certain kinds of decisions that involve taboos or sacred values—there's evidence that actually a different part of the brain is coming online.

There are a lot of conversations about making money, but very few, or limited conversations that are intimate about how to manage it, or how to even think about a financial decision.

It is quite literally something that touches every aspect of our lives, and if we don't learn, not just how to manage it, but also how we feel about it, it can have these ripple effects on our lives in the future.

Money taboos can have serious financial impacts. The good news—the part of our brain where taboos live is not in charge—you are.

This is "Your Brain on Money."

This is Kathleen. She knew at an early age that she had an interest in finance.

When I was a little girl, probably five or six, my favorite toy was a cash register. And I just loved hitting the buttons and hearing the 'kachings!' and I loved coins.

Now, as a wealth psychology expert, she's seen the effect money taboos have had on her clients from every walk of life.

So the money talk taboo is there, and it's strong. It has to do with the fact that we have grown up in a society that historically has not been open and honest about money.

It's because families don't know how to talk about money, and don't have a roadmap for teaching us about saving, spending, investing—and that silence is kind of passed down through generation.

So how does the brain perpetuate the taboo around money?

Our two neuroscientists, Dr. Joseph Kable and Dr. Moran Cerf, are going to show us what's happening inside our head.

Our ancestors, back in the days, when they lived in small groups everyone had the benefit of the tribe, and it worked for them not to stand out.

Our brain still has this kind of view: an ideal world is one where everyone has the same, and we all share resources, but money became a very easy tool to quantify people's position in a system.

We result to not revealing that too much because it might end up showing us that we're not as high on the totem pole as we thought we were.

So we're torn in a situation where our brain still thinks one way, but we accept the normal society that is different.

In that sense, we're in a constant battle.

What's interesting about the way our brain resolves this conflict is that it thinks about taboos differently for most other decisions.

In the world of decision-making, we're engaging this valuation circuitry; we're weighing costs and benefits.

But with taboos, it's different.

Decisions that involve taboos, we've been able to identify with neuroimaging, a different part of the brain is coming online, the so-called 'executive brain.'

That's the part of the brain that enacts rules.

These decisions are, you know, cut and dry. Nothing to weigh in terms of costs and benefits.

The good news is the executive part of our brain is flexible, so even our deepest taboos can change very quickly.

Mask-wearing was not a social norm, and then 'bam!' in the course of a month, we all decided, you know, to reorient our behavior.

So if that part of the brain is flexible, what makes money such a taboo still?

So many people, no matter what their socioeconomic status is, have a sense that everybody else is doing this thing called money better, and that somehow they're messing it up.

And if we're able to break that money silence and talk and share, what we find is 'Oh wait a second, nobody's perfect with money.'

So, when we become more compassionate with ourselves, and more understanding of our relationship with money, that shame would go away, and I really do believe we would be a healthier society and healthier individuals.

But, what I fi...