how to find out what you want to do in life - watch this if you feel lost

If you're spending your day scrolling on social media, watching TikToks, Instagram reels, shorts, whatever, if you hate your current job and think, "I wish I had a dream job that I'm passionate about that I can spend hours without even realizing it," and if you feel like you don't know what to do with your life, this video is perfect for you.

Today's video is based on a very popular book in Japan called... so basically the book is titled How to Find Out What You Want to Do with Your Life. Since it doesn't have an English translation, today I'm gonna try to translate a bit and then explain the key ideas of the book.

Have you experienced this before? You want to do something, but you don't know what to do. You don't know what you want to do, and you might start to feel like you haven't found "the one" yet. You haven't found the one thing that you can be passionate about that you truly enjoy. Therefore, you might start to search about job opportunities or maybe new hobbies, so you can explore more about yourself or maybe read more books about various interests of yours. But no matter how much you look for the information, you feel like you haven't found "the one" yet; the one that you can refer to as your dream job.

It's not like we need more information and we need to research and, you know, get new information. He says that the information that is necessary for us to figure out what we want to do with our lives is already there. According to him, the more you consume and the more you get information, the more you're likely to fall into the paradox of choice.

So, what is the paradox of choice? When we have too many options, we usually tend to have difficulties deciding. There is one study called the study of jam. Consumers were more likely to buy when offered six jams compared to 24 jams. The more you have options, the more you struggle with deciding what to do or which one to pick. Interestingly, when the options are less, consumers also reported greater buying satisfaction. When there are many options available, it becomes harder to determine which is the best, which can cause us to feel great regret after we have made a choice.

We may have more freedom because we have more choices, but it actually causes us to be unhappier. That's why some of the biggest tech leads, such as Mark Zuckerberg or Steve Jobs, wore or wear the exact same outfit each day so that they won't fall into decision fatigue slash the paradox of choice.

So, according to the author, in order to not fall into the paradox of choice, we need to minimize our options. Therefore, if you know what you love, what you're good at, and what you value, you will not fall into the paradox of choice because you will have your own decision matrix.

In order to get to know yourself and minimize options, this book gives a three-step analysis. The author says that “do what you love” is not always the answer when finding your dream job or what you want to do with your life because in 99% of the jobs, you also need to do the parts that you don't enjoy. For example, when it comes to YouTube, I really love standing in front of the camera, like getting a spotlight and publishing my own videos. However, the majority of being a YouTuber actually comes from scripting, analyzing, and thinking about marketing skills and understanding how to produce yourself. It's actually filming that's maybe only five percent of it; 95% of it is not filming.

If you try to pursue a career based on what you love, you probably cannot find that job. We cannot only do the parts of the job that we love. Also, according to the author, we often try to decide between what we love versus what we're good at. He says that this is a wrong way of thinking; there is a major point that is lacking.

So, we also need to analyze what we value. What we value, what we're good at, and what we enjoy—all three major components—there is a right order to do it. The first one will be what you value. So, understanding your values will be the first step. In order to understand your value system, we need to figure out what is important for us. What is important for me might not be important for you.

In this book, there are so many questions to ask yourself to figure out what you value, but for each of the three major components, there are five most important questions which we're going to answer together. Please, while answering those questions, write them down on a piece of paper because this will be crucial in order to understand what we want to do with our lives.

Please do not sit back and do nothing while watching this video. Please grab a pen and a piece of paper and write down your answers when I ask you a question. So, the question number one will be: who do you respect and also why? It can be just one or maybe more.

For example, for me, my top three will be: first one will be Alfred Adler, the second will be Kawasaki, and the third person will be Araki. If you have read The Courage to Be Disliked or The Courage to Be Happy, you probably know that Alfred Adler was a philosopher and also a psychiatrist. He declined the most popular beliefs in his era, which was Sigmund Freud. He didn't fear to be disagreed, and I truly appreciate his courage to be disliked. He created his own way of thinking.

This originality of him and the way he puts himself out there is something that I truly respect. When it comes to Kawasaki, if you watch this channel, you probably know that I really love his Input and Output books. He is also a psychiatrist. What I respect about him the most is that the amount of the output that he does—he has probably published more than 20 books. Even though he is a doctor, he also has a YouTube channel, he also has a blog, and he does a lot of stuff and he writes a ton of books. I really like his books and the way that he puts himself out there; his creativity is something that I truly respect.

Then, the third person is Alex-sensei. If you know JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, you probably know that Araki-sensei is the author of that manga. If you have ever watched or read JoJo, you probably know that the fashion sense, the color scheme, the storyline of JoJo is so different from other mangas out there. It is so unique and it has its own world, and even with seasons, the color, the art style, everything changes. His imagination, his creativity, and his originality are something that I truly respect.

So, after writing the people that you respect and the reasons, you might realize some of the words that are repeating. We call these words "key words." For example, for me, you probably can realize that I multiple times said creativity, originality, and imagination are important for me. So for me, my value is based on creativity, originality, and imagination.

This is the reason why I told you or pleaded you to write down, because the words that you use repeatedly will allow you to understand your value. Okay, so the question two will be: what experience influenced you the most during your teenage years? For me, for example, it was definitely during my high school time when I did an exchange to Germany. It was my first time living in a country that is different from Japan and Turkey, which are my home countries.

I have seen so many people from different cultural backgrounds, from different ethnicities, from different religions, and from different sexualities. Because I got to know so many exchange students, it really allowed me to broaden my mind and realize that there is nothing wrong nor right in this world; they're just different cultures and different value systems. During those years, I realized that I enjoyed diversity.

Please write down what experience influenced you the most during your teenage years. Question three will be: what do you feel like we lack in today's society? Personally, I think like we often label people too easily, put them in a box, and try to categorize people according to their gender, coordinate religion, according to their sexuality, their ethnicity, nationality, whatever. I feel like the world would be a much better place if we had a better understanding or respect towards each other, and if we could appreciate diversity.

Racism, homophobia, or like any type of categorizing people and trying to label them as something that I don't like. And that's what makes me really angry towards today's society. Question four will be: ask people around you what they think you value the most. Sometimes what people think about us might be different from what we think about ourselves, and that might help you to realize something about you.

The question five will be: what advice would you give to people? For me personally, I would say taking risks and going on a path that is different from what is considered to be normal or traditional might be scary, but you will never fail if you never give up. Life has ups and downs, and maybe you're currently in the down part, but that doesn't mean that you're not gonna go to the upward.

If you keep trying, you will initially just become better at it. So, if you never quit, you'll never actually fail because that is not the end of the story. After answering all these five questions, you probably realize that some of the words are repeating. For example, for me, originality, creativity, diversity, and imagination, because these are the things that I value the most in my life.

These key values will allow you to understand which value you would like to bring to the table with your job. For example, for me, I like to create an environment where people can express their true selves without fearing any judgment, where people can be creative, where people can appreciate diversity. Creating this environment will be my value when talking about originality and creativity, where people can express themselves easily.

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Okay, now we figured out our values; now it's time to figure out your talents—so what you're good at. People often misinterpret the difference between talent and skill. Talent is not something that you learn afterwards; talent is something that you're born with. For example, your coding skills are not your talent; it's your skill. The talent is something you can do easily, like, you know, without trying.

According to this author, everybody has some sort of a talent. We oftentimes don't realize what our talent is because that is so natural for us; you know, that is so normal for us. So let's also answer five questions in order to find out your talent. The first question will be: what was the most fulfilling experience you have ever had? For me, when I had my first viral video, that feeling of people watching me and numbers increasing gave me a lot of excitement. I didn't care about it at all; I just loved it. So being seen and being listened to by people was my key moment.

So the question two will be: what did you get annoyed about most recently? According to the author, we tend to get annoyed when we see something or somebody do things that we would do differently. Let's say you're really loud and really outgoing, and you might get annoyed when you see somebody who is shy and has no social skills, or maybe not good at them. You might get annoyed when you see that person because you would think, "Why is not this person talking? Why is this person not being more fun and more enjoyable, like more, you know, laughing in front of people?"

It's because it's so normal for you, but for them, it might not be normal, you know? But you cannot really or you don't really understand it because you are so different from it. Your natural talent may be being good at human relationships; focus on what you get annoyed about in order to figure out your talent.

And then the third question: ask others what your strength is. I asked a couple of people, so my friends and also my mom, and all of them actually said pretty much the same thing. There are three main things that they say: I never fear, I believe in myself, and I never say, "I can't do this."

So the question four will be: let’s say you quit your job right now, what would you regret about? What would you wish you did more? If I quit YouTube right now for some reason, I would definitely regret that I didn't post more videos. I probably missed the opportunity to reach a wider audience, and I would also regret the fact that I haven't been on a TED talk or I haven't written a book yet, or I haven't, you know, done big projects.

So I would totally regret that I wish I could be seen by more people. This would be my regret. The question five will be: what is something you succeeded in? It can be something really small. For me, actually, this channel is a huge achievement because I always wanted to become a YouTuber since I was 14. I had my first channel when I was 15, and I had like four or five channels. Maybe I tried constantly and it didn’t work out, but this is the only channel that worked for me.

Paulina made fun of me, talked behind my back, but I never cared because I truly believe that I can do it one day; it's just not today. You might have realized that again there's some words that are repeating for me. For example, talking in front of people and being in the spotlight repeatedly came up.

So walking in front of people and being in the spotlight is my talent, and self-confidence, self-belief, and not giving up—all these things are my talents too because I've been like this since my childhood. You know, I've been always self-confident and I never gave up, and I always believed in myself from my childhood. Like the five-year-old Rudy, she believed in herself too, so this is not something that I tried to work on; it just came since my birth.

So this is my talent. If you still can't find your talent after answering those questions, please think about your weaknesses. The opposite of your weakness is actually your strength or talent. For example, I easily get bored, but because of that, I like challenging myself; I like trying new things, I like learning new things. Think about this and figure out what your talent is.

The last step will be finding out your passion. So, according to the author, people oftentimes fail when they pursue the things that they love as a job because what they love is not necessarily what they're good at. When trying to figure out what you enjoy, please don't include the things that you like because they're useful. Only consider the things that you love because you love them, you know, not because it's useful or something; you just love them.

So the question one will be: what would you like to learn about, even if you need to pay for it? Write that down also into the same paper so that we can analyze afterwards more precisely. The question two will be: look at your bookshelf/Kindle library, whatever. What type of books do you tend to read? What is about? Most of the books that I read are related to psychiatry and leadership.

The question three will be: what's the thing or genre that made you feel something? For example, for me, it's anime and also Among Us. I truly appreciate how the mangakas bring their imagination into real life and how they make something from scratch using their imagination. The creativity of it makes me feel something; you know, I am just happy that I'm alive today—like that type of a thing.

The question four will be: what type of a job do you truly appreciate, that you want to thank them for? The job title that I appreciate the most that I want to thank them for is mangakas. If you don't know, mangakas are the people who write mangas. You need to come up with a storyline; you need to come up with characters, the fashion, the imagination, and the amount of the workload that mangakas go through is insane.

Actually, there's so many mangakas that have mental problems. If you have read the Bakuman anime, you probably know how hard it is to become a mangaka and how hard their lifestyle is. The way that they bring their imagination into real life and create an art piece is something that I truly appreciate and want to thank. Whenever I read a good manga or watch a good solid anime, I just feel happy that I'm alive today, you know?

The question five will be: have you been angry towards life? I think everybody has had a moment where, you know, you get angry towards life. So when we analyze the answers that I gave, creation, originality, freedom, exploring the world is something that I love. Trying new things and challenging myself is my passion.

So after answering all these 15 questions, now you're able to tell your values, your talents, and also your passions. The last exercise to figure out what you want to do with your life will be to think about things that are your passion, that you love, and that you're also good at. Write down the things that you would like to do. I could maybe do a TED talk one day, you know? It's a new challenge and I could talk in front of people.

You probably can write a bunch of things if you know your talent and also your passion. Now, narrow them for the purpose of work. So after you know figuring out things that belong to your talent and to your passion, now filter them down with your value. So my value was I like to create an environment where people can express themselves and their ideas without fearing any judgment.

Or maybe I can create an online class where people can share their diversity and their opinions without fearing any judgment. Maybe I can create an online class about it, and so I would be in front of people. I would provide a space for people, and also I would challenge myself because it's a new thing; I have never done an online class before.

Which I'm planning to do, this will be, for example, what I want to do with my life or what I want to do currently. In this way, you can figure out what you want to do with your life. Please answer all these 15 questions and write them down on paper, and highlight the keywords, and you probably will be able to understand what you want to do with your life. I hope it helped you too, and see you in my next video. Bye!