Why self improvement is ruining your life

One of the best feelings in the entire world is the feeling of getting better at the things that you're interested in. You know, if you're starting to get into the gym, it feels really good to actually see yourself getting stronger, whether that's visually or the fact that you can bench more pounds. Getting stronger and hitting new records is at least half the fun, if not all the fun, of going to the gym. You know, if you're a piano player and you've been practicing your improvisational skills, it feels really good to be able to just make a banger of a melody in like five minutes.

You know, it feels good to walk around life with a certain level of competence. You've put in the work; you're better at certain things than most people. You know, competence makes you more useful to yourself, to your family, to your community, and it kind of makes the world a better place if you think about it. But if you've spent pretty much any time on the internet whatsoever, you've probably noticed that there's a culture that exists on Reddit and on YouTube and on bodybuilding forums that sees self-improvement as its own standalone hobby, detached from any particular interest or goal.

And it's used almost like a widely prescribed antidote for a crappy life. You feeling down in the dumps? Try self-improvement. Oh damn, your dog died? There's this self-improvement book that I heard is really good; you should go pick it up and read it. Damn, that sucks dude, your wife left you? There's this bald self-improvement YouTuber that gives really good advice; you should give them a try. And that's either a good thing or a bad thing. I don't think you can really bash the sentiment because improving yourself is obviously a noble and worthwhile aim. Like, what else are you gonna do, like get worse?

But one thing that I do think is destructive is that these internet self-improvement communities seem to either intentionally or unintentionally sell this idea of self-improvement kind of being the answer to everything. You know, they sell this idea of being able to improve yourself to a point where you don't really have to deal with life's struggles. You know, you can eventually improve yourself to a point where everybody loves you because you're so charismatic, you have such a rocking body, everyone's just impressed with your Matt Diavella biceps. I'm not ripping on Matt Diavella; those things are huge. You know, you'll eventually make so much money that you can pretty much buy anything you want.

And all this stuff sounds really great. I mean, who wouldn't want all that stuff? But as soon as you say it out loud, it becomes pretty clear that this type of thinking almost stems from a place of insecurity, of conditional happiness. It comes from a certain dissatisfaction of where you are now. Self-improvement, therefore, becomes kind of like a vehicle that will take you towards this fantasy, this perfect life that you've always dreamed of.

But if you look at some of the most successful people on planet Earth, I can guarantee you they didn't get to where they were by just being really into self-improvement. Usually, they get there by being really freaking good at something. You know, Bill Gates was obsessed with coding. Elon Musk? What's he not into? If you look up to these types of people and you want to be somewhat like them, you have to realize that they're not obsessing over their perfect morning routine and figuring out how to stack certain vitamins so that you can see through walls and unlock some sort of third eye of truth or something.

You know, that stuff is useful, but it's only useful if you're already doing something. One of the funniest examples of self-improvement being super counterproductive or unhelpful is people who read a lot of books about social interaction, and I'm totally not speaking from experience. It seems like common sense that the best way to get better at socializing is to socialize, to go out on a Friday night instead of spending your time playing video games.

But there was a point in my life where I didn't really socialize at all, and all I did was read books like "How to Win Friends and Influence People" and the like, "Switch" and "Models" by Mark Manson. It's almost like I was an alien trying to learn how to socially interact with people while I was locking myself in my house, not getting any exposure to people. It's like the perfect example of obsessive self-improvement not doing anything to help me improve. You know, the very thing that I was trying to improve was being sabotaged by the fact that I was cerebralizing it, theorizing about it instead of just getting out there and getting experience.

Now, the books that I just mentioned are helpful, and I've recommended them on the channel before, but they're only helpful if the vast majority of your time is spent out there in the real world, just living. You know, if all you watch is self-improvement videos, every book you read is a self-improvement book, and self-improvement is your main hobby, it's almost like you're a knight in the Middle Ages and you spend like your entire life deep within the castle walls obsessively sharpening your sword and optimizing your equipment.

Meanwhile, there's a war raging on outside the castle walls, and the kingdom really needs your help. Maybe the princess got captured by a dragon or something like that, but you're just sitting there inside making sure you have like the perfect equipment and you're doing tons of push-ups and stuff and making sure you're in shape, but you have no clue how to fight any of the monsters out there. You've never been on an adventure before, so it's like you have the sharpest sword in the world but no idea how to use it, and you're running out of time.

What most people who eventually break out of this self-improvement obsession eventually figure out is that it was far better to hack and slash their way through life with a dull sword than to spend your entire life inside with a sharp one. Now, it would obviously be pretty stupid if you never sharpened your sword, if you never picked up a book that suggested a different way of doing things, if you never questioned your current lifestyle and what you can do to improve it.

But get out the door, go make some mistakes, go try some things, go live life, and sharpen your sword along the way. This video was sponsored by Audible, and I really want to use this opportunity to recommend a book. One of my favorite books that has absolutely nothing to do with self-improvement, and that is "An Astronaut's Guide to Life on Earth" by Chris Hadfield.

And even though it has the word "guide" in the title, but it's not a self-improvement book at all. Chris Hadfield is a Canadian astronaut and the former commander of the International Space Station, and his life is a great example of the fact that he didn't spend a lot of time obsessing over self-improvement. He just had a goal and a dream and an obsession. He was out there in the real world gaining experience, making mistakes, failing, trying again.

I really think it's a worthwhile read, and he narrates the whole thing himself on the Audible version, so it's definitely well worth it. Not only does Audible have the largest selection of audiobooks on the entire internet, but every single month they send you one credit which you can spend on an audiobook of your choice, regardless of cost. And they also send you two Audible Originals, and one of the best things about Audible is that if you decide to cancel your membership at any time, you still keep your entire library of audiobooks, including the audiobooks that you got for free using their credit system.

Audible's one of my favorite sponsors on this channel because I use them all the time. I listen to more audiobooks than I read physical books. So to sign up for your free 30-day trial, click the link in the description below or text "better ideas" to 500-500. Once again, to sign up for your free 30-day trial, click the link in the description below or text "better ideas" to 500-500.

If you like this video, make sure to hit like because when you hit like, the algorithm blesses me, and it shoves my bald head into people's home pages, which could potentially help them out, help them snap out of a self-improvement obsession, and start living life to its fullest. It sounded a little bit cheesy, but it's true.

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Other than that, thanks so much for watching. There's plenty of great content coming up very soon. I'm gonna be posting two more videos within the next 20 days or so, so it's gonna be a real hoot. Feels good to be back, and those new videos will be in my brand new place because I'm moving out of this joint. Thanks so much for watching, and we'll catch you in the next video.