Guidance for Parents: JB Peterson: From 12 Rules for Life

The problem with wanting to be friends with your child is that that's not good enough. Because as a parent, you're not less than a friend; you're far more than a friend. You're someone that's gonna be in the child's life for the duration of your life. With any luck, you're a long-term island of stability in a sea of turbulence, and the child needs that far more than he or she needs a friend.

Parents need to be courageous because they have to let their children go and make mistakes. You have to let your child fall when they're learning to walk. They bump themselves up against the world a lot, and you don't want to do any more for your child than you absolutely have to. It means that there's a certain amount of detached harshness that has to go along with your love and compassion.

So you have to stand back and let your child stumble forward towards mastery. Today's parents are terrified of their children because they're often afraid that if they intervene in their lives, they'll make a mistake and that that will be irrevocable. You have to have the courage of your convictions when you have children, and you have to understand that if you do make mistakes, that you can learn and you can be forgiven.

You don't have to be a perfect parent, although you should aim up with your children. Parents are terrified of making mistakes, and that means that they're terrified of being parents. And that stops them from being parents.