How To Compete With Yourself

Do you ever feel like you're not making any progress, or that you're stagnating? Days keep going by, you're getting older, and nothing exciting seems to happen. All of your friends on social media seem to be working hard, traveling, making progress, and living their best life; and then there's you, sitting on your couch and scrolling through your phone, chewing on that fast and cheap dopamine. But what if we told you you're being fed a destructive lie? What if we told you that you're trapping yourself in a vicious cycle of stagnation and the only one responsible for all of this is you? Well, keep on watching to find out why and how you fix it all before it's too late.

Welcome to Alux. First, here are some hard pills to swallow: we live in a world that constantly pits us against one another. From school rankings, sports competitions, job promotions, to social media likes, but this kind of competition will only hold you back and eventually turn you into one of those social justice warriors who prefer screaming at a screen instead of making their bed first thing in the morning. So, here's an alternative: how about competing with yourself instead?

Look, we know what we just said kinda goes against the norm and maybe even against what your parents taught you, but if you're not happy with where you are right now, you need to shift your mindset and relearn everything from scratch. Because whether we accept it or not, we are full of biases, and we strive to offer you unbiased and practical advice. So here are some psychological and scientific facts to support this argument.

Let's start off with the social comparison theory because you need to understand how your brain works before trying any quick fix. The social comparison theory was introduced by social psychologist Leon Festinger in 1954. This theory explains our innate tendency to evaluate ourselves by comparing our abilities, achievements, and attributes to those of others. Festinger argued that humans have a natural drive to gain accurate self-evaluations and reduce uncertainty about themselves, and social comparison serves as a means to achieve this.

Now, there are two main types of social comparisons that you need to know about: upward and downward comparisons. Let's take a look at each type. Upward social comparison occurs when we compare ourselves to people who we perceive as being superior to us in some way, such as having greater success, better skills, or a higher social status. Now, while this type of comparison can sometimes inspire and motivate us to improve, it can also lead to feelings of inferiority and a lowered self-esteem, especially if we perceive the gap between ourselves and the comparison target as unattainable.

On the other hand, downward social comparison involves comparing ourselves to people who we perceive as being inferior to us in some way. This type of comparison can sometimes boost our self-esteem and provide a sense of relief by making us feel better about our own abilities or situation. People who love gossiping and bullies tend to be affected by this a lot, just as a matter of fact. However, doing this can lead to complacency, hinder personal growth, and foster negative emotions like contempt or pity toward others. But how we perceive others is nothing more than a reflection of ourselves.

Now, you probably have experienced this type of behavior in your own life. So why do we do it? Well, several factors can influence our tendency to engage in social comparisons. Some of these factors include personal attributes. People with low self-esteem or high levels of self-doubt are more likely to engage in social comparisons as they seek validation and reassurance. Situational factors, situations that provoke uncertainty or are a threat to our self-concept, can also trigger social comparisons. For instance, starting a new job or experiencing a significant change in your life can prompt you to compare yourself to people in your circle. And if you catch yourself doing that, just know this: you fell prey to social comparison.

The presence of others. Social comparison is more likely to occur when you're in the presence of other people who you perceive as being similar to you or relevant to the specific domain of comparison. But the good news is you can solve most of these with the right mindset.

So here are a few strategies: cultivate self-awareness. This is something we really help you to do on the Alux app, and if you haven't already, definitely download it at alux.com/app. By cultivating self-awareness, you recognize when you're engaging in social comparisons and acknowledge the emotions and thoughts associated with it. By becoming more self-aware, you can make a conscious effort to shift your focus back to your own personal growth and goals.

Practice gratitude. Regularly practicing gratitude can help to counteract the negative effects of social comparison by focusing on the positive aspects of your life and acknowledging your achievements. Limit exposure to comparison triggers. Social media can be a significant source of social comparison. Consider reducing the time spent on these platforms or unfollowing accounts that trigger feelings of envy or inadequacy. Remember, most influencers just sell you the ideal lifestyle; they're not actually living it themselves. But by presenting an ideal to you, they're actually generating the money to make it happen. Your watch time is their money. More people need to become aware of this.

Next, let's talk about the hedonic treadmill. This one's really cool, so pay attention. The hedonic treadmill, also known as hedonic adaptation, is a concept that explains our tendency to return to a relatively stable level of happiness or well-being regardless of positive or negative events in our lives. This theory was first proposed by psychologists Brickman and Campbell in the 1970s and has been further developed and supported by numerous studies since then. When we focus on competing with others, we often pursue external factors, such as success, material possessions, or social status, to feel superior or accomplished.

The hedonic treadmill suggests that although achieving these external factors may bring temporary happiness, our overall happiness levels will eventually return to our baseline due to adaptation and habituation. So this means the happiness gained from outperforming others or acquiring external symbols of success is often short-lived. On the other hand, when you compete with yourself, you shift your focus from external factors to personal growth and self-improvement. By setting personal goals and striving to become the best version of yourself, you can better generate intrinsic motivation and focus on activities that align with your values and interests.

This approach will help you to develop a sense of purpose, satisfaction, and well-being that is less susceptible to the effects of a hedonic treadmill. Now, these are all fun and games to understand in theory, and we get that it's actually impossible to fully remove those tendencies because at some point, they served an important evolutionary purpose. But that doesn't mean you should not have a disciplined approach to it.

Now, enough with these explanations, right? Let's put all of this into practice. So here are some things you can do on a daily basis to make the competition with yourself smoother. Set personal goals. Setting personal goals is a powerful first tool for self-competition. To make your goals effective, they need to be SMART; you know this: specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound. This means you need to define exactly what you want to achieve, break it down into specific steps, set a deadline, and regularly monitor your progress. By doing this, you can create a road map for your personal growth and keep yourself motivated to achieve your goals.

Reflect on your progress. Reflection is crucial to self-competition. Taking the time to reflect on your progress helps you to stay focused on your goals, identify potential obstacles, and develop strategies to overcome them. Regularly assess your achievements, setbacks, and areas for improvement. This will help you to stay on track and adjust your approach if necessary.

Keep a journal. Keeping a journal is a powerful way to track your progress and foster self-competition. Write down your goals, accomplishments, challenges, and insights. This will help you to stay accountable, reflect on your progress, and maintain motivation. Plus, when you look back at the journal, you'll be able to see how far you've come and celebrate your successes.

Embrace failure. Self-competition is about embracing failure as an opportunity for growth. When you compete with yourself, you can view setbacks as valuable learning experiences. By reframing failure as a chance to learn and improve, you can bounce back more quickly and maintain your motivation.

Celebrate small victories. Celebrating small victories is an essential part of self-competition. Acknowledging your progress and celebrating your successes can help you to stay motivated and remind you of how far you've come. Don't wait for big milestones to celebrate; be proud of your achievements no matter how small they might seem. This will help you to maintain a positive mindset and keep your momentum going forward.

So with all this being said, here's what you need to take away from this video: this self-improvement game is not about being better than others, but about being better than you were yesterday. Challenge yourself to grow, learn, and improve every single day, Aluxer. In the end, you'll find the person you are truly meant to compete with was yourself all along.

As we wrap up today's discussion, let's recap the main points we've covered. By focusing on self-competition, you prioritize personal growth, intrinsic motivation, and self-awareness, which can lead to a greater sense of satisfaction. It's essential for you to remember that competing with yourself doesn't mean completely disregarding external feedback or completely isolating yourself from others. Instead, it's about shifting your focus from external validation to personal growth and improvement. By acknowledging and learning from the accomplishments of others, you can find inspiration and motivation to better yourself.

Remember, it's not always about getting to the finish line by any means necessary. What matters is how you get there, and competing with yourself is the most ethical and satisfying path to get there. Now, with all this said, that's a wrap for today, Alux. But not before we ask you the following: how do you compete with yourself on a daily basis? Drop your answer in the comments below. We're always so curious to hear how you work on improving yourself every day.

And if you found this video valuable, don't forget to return the favor by tipping us with a like and a share. As always, thanks for watching, Aluxer. If you want to learn some more, hey, why not check out this video next?