The mindset that is slowly destroying your life

[Music] Ah, what a lovely weekend in the neighborhood. Susan is out walking the dog. Frank is hard at work writing his new book, and Billy is, ah yes, a classic Billy Saturday—waking up late, his mind filled with dread. There are so many things he could do, so many things he should do, but it all just seems so hard for Billy. His obligations crush him, so he does what seems easy—he passes the time on frivolous things that take little to no effort to do.

He thinks of his neighbor Frank, industriously engaged in his pursuits—always so focused and calm. He seems to fill his days and weeks with productive, healthy activities: going for walks with his dog, exercising daily, and making an impact at work, constantly getting promoted. GE Frank is just built different. He must have more willpower than I do. How does he stay focused on difficult things for long periods of time? I wish I enjoyed doing healthy things as much as Frank seems to.

And that mindset right there is the exact reason why you never will. You've fallen for the illusion of “should.” Isn't it strange that some people seem to genuinely enjoy having a healthy and well-balanced life, full of activities that are good for them, and have seemingly no problem focusing on challenging things for long periods of time? Overall, it seems that these people just have it figured out. It's almost like they know something that most of us don't. What is the secret?

Like Billy, many of us are stuck beating our heads against a wall, hoping for lightning to strike, providing us with the magic motivation we need to suddenly like doing the things that are good for us, and hate doing the things that are bad for us. But fret not—just like Frank, you too can spend far more time doing healthy things, and you don't have to wait. No willpower is needed—just a simple shift in your mental framing, and you too can be just like Frank.

I can't, yes Billy. But first, you must realize that you've been lied to your whole life. I've been lied to? Oh no, by whom? Was it the Democratic party? No silly Billy, it wasn't the Democrats—it's you. Me? You have managed to gradually brainwash yourself, with considerable help from advertising and societal conditioning, into thinking you actually enjoy doing degenerate things, and that things that are good for you are hard and painful.

I did? Yes Billy, but the simple fact is that good things are not painful, and you know this through experience. Consider all the times you've had a deadline for something important, like a school paper, and after days of avoidance, agony, and stress, you manage to scare yourself into productivity due to a looming deadline. What do you remember feeling when you finally started making headway on that paper?

Well, I reckon I felt quite relieved. I remember thinking to myself, “Why did I put it off this long? I should do this more often.” Yes Billy, you brilliant bastard. You're beginning to understand. Every time you do what is good for you, it in fact feels good too. This is undeniable evidence that you do genuinely enjoy doing the things that are good for you.

On the flip side, Billy, recall how you feel on the days you lack that fire within you, and you spend all day doing low-value things, bored out of your skull—days where it seems like you ran out of things to do on that silly contraption of yours, as you melt into a sad, sorry little blob. During these moments, how do you feel?

Well, I reckon I felt quite rotten—a little bit anxious as well, like I ought to be doing something more important with my life. Yes Billy, and is that an enjoyable feeling? Not in the slightest. Well Billy, by the sounds of it, it seems like you genuinely do not enjoy spending time in this way. Doing what is bad for you feels bad as well.

But why does it feel just so gosh darn unappealing to do what I need to do before I do it? Ah Billy, you've asked the most important question of all. Let me introduce to you the sinister nature of “should.” You see, highly ambitious people are rebellious by nature, wanting to rise above mediocrity and not be a sheep. This rebelliousness means we don't like it when somebody says, “You should do this.”

When an ambitious person hears authoritative language like this, they tend to do the opposite: “I don't let anyone tell me what to do.” We know, Billy, you are very strong and cool. But as you know, just like finally writing that paper, what we think we should do is often what we want to do anyway. It actually feels good to do what we need to do, so telling ourselves we should do it is no help at all, is it?

What would you rather do, Billy—what you should do or what you want to do? I want to do what I want to do. Yes Billy. And what if it is the same thing? What should you call that thing to make sure you do it? I don't get it. Goodness gracious, Billy, you're so close, son. All I'm saying is that you don't have to play this silly little game with your mind anymore—you can simply do what you want.

I can? Yes Billy, I can do what I want! Billy! Billy! Wait! [Music] W [Music] Hello! Are you still there? Ah, Billy, nice to see you again! Are you having fun? I don’t feel so good. Well Billy, what happened? You said I could do what I wanted, so I did what I wanted.

And how did it feel, Billy? Do you feel good now? I just—do you feel good now that you've put more time into that thing you said I could? Circling the lamp like a good little moth, trying to drink the light, but your wings grow heavy as you flitter and flutter alone in the dead of night. What? Sorry, Billy. Don't you see? You're confusing your true desires in life with compulsion.

Companies all around the world spend billions upon billions of dollars every single year to make things seem enticing on the surface, but these things make you feel worse after having done them instead of better. Doesn’t sound very enjoyable to me. You see, Billy, they are traps of compulsion. But if you can identify these traps, you can avoid them. It's quite simple. Billy, you get it now, don't you?

Let's go back to Frank, who you admire so much. Frank is able to properly identify what activities are truly fulfilling. He recognizes the difference between compulsion and genuine satisfaction. He fills his time with things that make him feel good as a person. He knows that draining 5 hours into a manufactured entertainment contraption actually doesn't make him feel good, despite what the marketing might say.

So it's not that Frank has less fun; he actually has more—more satisfaction, more self-assurance, more happiness. When you have this proper context, when you see the truth, then you can simply do what brings you happiness and fulfillment through and through. Reflect on what these things are for you and your life and dive into them fully, guilt-free, free from the burden of fruitless moral imperative.

You will naturally want to do the things you originally thought you only should do. You'll begin to realize that you don't need more willpower to be like Frank. Willpower has nothing to do with it—it's simply living with clarity, with truth. When you do what you want and what you want feels good, you will know that you have un-brainwashed yourself. It will feel better to be you.

The world is simply a better place when people aren't so confused about what makes them happy. Do you understand now, Billy? Where? Oh, Billy! You are capable of so much more! If you found yourself enjoying this video, then do me a favor and hit that like button because when you hit the like button, the algorithm blesses me and it shoves my bald head into other people's homepages—helping them out, which also helps me out. So it's just a win-win for everybody involved!

And while you're at it, you might want to grab the “inaction is a slow death” merchandise before it’s all gone. We might not have your size anymore, and once it's gone, it's gone. For now, thank you so much for watching, and we'll catch you in the next video! Yeah boys! Wa! Check out these burgers! Ready? Watch this! Dude, that's sick! Dude, there's this new one named Apple that like literally—you're not going to like—yeah I know, she us, right? Oh damn, I actually really like how...