Does Not Achieving Your Goal Make Everything Meaningless ?

Achieving your lifetime goals is the most satisfying experience you can have. Or is it? Let's say your goal is to have your own TED Talk that gathers millions of views and everyone talks about it. And you finally do it. Then what? What happens after you do it? Is your experience complete? Can you finally say, "Okay, I've done it, I can rest now?" You see, the moment you achieve your goal is just that: a moment. It lasts literally a couple of minutes. Maybe you pop a bottle of champagne that evening. Maybe you post on social media about how you finally made it. But after everything settles down and the room is quiet, you're left at Ground Zero again. Every view gets boring after a while. Every victory becomes a past event that nobody cares about anymore.

But on the other hand, what happens if you never achieve your goals? Does that make all of your effort meaningless? These are questions that we've pondered over the years, and we think we've come to a pretty satisfactory conclusion. We know that some of you yourself have asked the same question. So let's answer them together, shall we? Welcome to A Lux.

One of the most important realizations is that life doesn't start when you decide it will. Start now! What do we mean by this? Let's say you're in your early 20s and your goal is to retire by 35. You plan to grind hard, learn a bunch, sacrifice a lot, and after 15 years, once you make it, you start to live the life you wanted. You think that once you have enough money to retire early, then you can start living well. This leads you to two scenarios:

One, you actually achieve your goal and you retire early. After all that hard work, you manage to gather enough wealth that will last you until the day you peace out. Now you can rest and do what you actually want to do. Or two, you never get to it. You fall short, or you don't even come close. The point is, you need to keep working, and maybe for the rest of your career, your dream of retiring on a beach sipping piña coladas is gone.

So let's say scenario one happens. What do you actually want to do now that you've made it? Because look, for the past 15 years, you've done nothing but work. You've got no passions, no friendships, and probably no relationship either. And sipping cocktails on a beach? It gets boring real fast. Most people we talk to who've become financially free super early—they all said the same thing. They thought life would start after that point, and they took the first year off to do whatever they wanted, only to realize after a couple of months that nothing has really changed. Yes, they got the house, the car, whatever material possessions they wanted, but besides that, nothing fundamentally changed about their individual self. They realized that life didn't just start right then and there. Instead, it started many, many years ago.

So they ended up going back to work again. Now, yes, they don't have the pressure of money now, which does hold a lot of value for anyone, but their life didn't dramatically change. It didn't just start; instead, it kept going. And it's the same for the second scenario. If you don't get to achieve your goal, your life doesn't stop or start; it just keeps going the same way it did before.

Let's go back to the saying: it's the journey, not the destination. If your life sucks for 70% of the time, the remaining 30% is kind of irrelevant. It doesn't matter how amazing that 30% is. Okay, let's go even further a bit. Let's say we can give you the option for one year to be a billionaire or the number one rock star or the best in the world at a particular thing. Whatever you choose. But the catch is after that year, you're gone. Would you take the offer? And if you do take it, what would be your pick?

Next year, when you're 50, maybe the last year of your life, most of you would be inclined to push that year further and further because you still want to live until then, regardless of how your current life looks. This exercise of imagination makes you realize that achieving your goal as a standalone activity is not that important after all. Because you still want to actually live until then.

So what about not achieving your goals? If you don't get to it, does that make all of your efforts in vain? Will it make all the energy and sacrifice basically a waste of time? Well, here's our answer: If all you live for is to achieve your goal, then not achieving it will feel like you've wasted your entire life for nothing. You'll feel like a failure and a total loser. You'll become bitter, pessimistic, and a doomer. And if you achieve your goal and the first thing you say is, "Okay, it's finally over; I can rest now," then maybe you had the wrong goal to begin with.

Here's the thing: If you set up a goal for yourself but you absolutely hate the work you need to do to get there, then it doesn't matter if you actually achieve it or not. And at the same time, if you set up a goal for yourself and you love the work you need to do to get there, again, it doesn't matter if you actually achieve it or not. The purpose of a goal is to put you on a path that makes you feel good walking it. It's not a number in the bank account or a plaque on the wall; it's the work that you do to get there.

For example, let's say you're a musician and your dream is to have a number one song. If you don't enjoy the creative process of producing music, then having or not having a number one song doesn't really make any difference. You see, it isn't the goal that is supporting your life; it's the work that you do. Achieving the goal is just a bonus, a testament to your perseverance.

Let's say, for example, your goal is to have a one million dollar bank balance. If we give you one million dollars, do you feel accomplished? Toss aside the monetary value and think of how you would actually feel after the rush goes away. Are you proud of that money? Does it make you feel good to spend it? Well, it's the same for every goal. At the end of your days, you'll look back at your life as a whole—you don't get to be picky.

So here's our advice: Imagine that you've already achieved your goal. You're now someone who's achieved what they wanted in life, and now you have to do it again from scratch for the fun of it. Just like you would create another character in a game to finish the campaign again. Would you do it? If your answer is definitely not, then maybe the goal you set for yourself is not what you actually want.

For example, most people who want to become millionaires have a deep attachment to dollar bills. Their end goal is a number, which means the path to get there is chaotic, directionless, and desperate. They'll do anything for it. Those who actually become millionaires don't care that much about having a lot of money; they care about having the ability to create something that is worth a lot of money. And those are totally different goals.

So to get back to our advice: When you pick a goal for yourself, don't just think about the end goal itself, but about the whole picture. More importantly, think about what that path looks like. Do you see yourself actually doing the work, or does it make you feel tired just thinking about it? It's normal to have a few periods where you have to push a little bit harder, but if you have to battle your motivation every single morning when you wake up, you're on the wrong path toward the wrong goal.

So to answer the question: Does not achieving your goal make everything meaningless? Absolutely not. If the work that you do toward that goal supports your life and makes you feel good about yourself, and it might take a little bit of mental gymnastics to get your mind to this point, but it's something that is ultra valuable.

Just like how we say the A Lux app will change your life, but you need to invest 10 minutes of your day every day for the benefits to compound. It's the same idea there. For example, one of our recent daily sessions was focused on healing and how, despite what many people believe to be true, healing doesn't guarantee you happiness. Sure, it'll gain you some peace and definitely a better understanding of why you are the way you are and do the things you do. But it's not a real destination to reach; it's all in the journey. And the journey isn't one with a finish line, nor is it linear.

Between the daily sessions, the wisdom stories, and learning packs, the A Lux app is a prime resource to help you understand and enjoy your life more fully, regardless of your goals. If you haven't already downloaded it, we cannot encourage you enough—it's available on both Apple and Android App Stores.

Now, as a bonus, we've got a little bit of homework for you, A Luxer. This year will be the year that you will achieve one goal. And to help you pick the goal, think about what you're doing right now. Maybe you're an artist, or an aspiring entrepreneur, or a freelancer, or a teacher. You're already doing something. Now, if you were to do what you're already doing but on a new level, what would it look like in 12 months?

Imagine you're playing the game where the character is you, and you have to get good at the game. What does playing the game look like? What does finishing the game look like? The answer to these questions is your goal. Let's say you're a musician, and you create new music every week. If you get better at it, invest in educating yourself, and put your work out there with a better execution, then what will happen in 12 months? You'll probably have a huge portfolio behind you, lots of experience, probably some new connections, and a deeper understanding of your craft. That's your goal for the year.

Now it's time to get after it. The point is whatever you do—whether that's building a business or gardening—do it professionally, like you actually mean it. Fall in love with the work, and the goal will take care of itself. We hear a lot of people say, "Oh, I just don't have the motivation to go after my goals." But the truth is, you shouldn't need motivation for it. If the work itself doesn't excite you and you have to rely on motivation alone to get there, then there's a very low chance of success. You're basically battling with yourself every time, and there's no reason to make things harder for you.

Make the work enjoyable, make your time worth it, and you will see how your whole perspective on goal setting will change. Soon enough, you'll start to get more ambitious once you see what you're really capable of doing. Let's start the year strong, A Luxer. But a little outside accountability doesn't hurt either.

So here's what we want you to do: Go to the comments section and write your goal for 2023 alongside the work that you enjoy doing to get there. You'll find that when you start to think of both of these things, it starts to get more interesting. We'll see you back here again tomorrow.

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