15 RULES of BEING ALONE

All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone. Depending on where you fall on the social spectrum, the thought of being surrounded by a lot of people is either a thrilling or a terrifying picture. But despite all of that, being content with being alone is one of the most underrated superpowers. And by the end of this video, not only will you change the way you think about being alone, you'll welcome the challenge.

Here are 15 rules of being alone. First step: Your happiness depends on you. It takes years before you realize that happiness is an inside job. It's not readymade, and you won't be able to find your happiness someplace else. The more you put this idea to the test, the less happy you become. Because the search for happiness is a negative experience in and of itself. That's why being alone is such a powerful, life-altering experience. You learn to be happy with who you are, not who other people think you are. It forces you to filter through the junk and garbage you hold within you to find yourself.

This is exactly why monks go to the top of mountains—to be away from everyone else. Detaching your happiness from third parties is a must for self-fulfillment. People will climb all of the success and money ladders in the world, screaming at everyone: "Look at me! Look at me!" for that rush of dopamine, only to spiral out of control and withdraw the moment everyone else looks away. The more you think about it, the more you realize just how much we enslave ourselves to the validation of others.

Your health depends on you. Based on our experience, we can tell you that a lot of our mental stresses are tied to our physical well-being. Your health depends on you either way, but it becomes obvious when it's just you involved in the process. What you eat, how much you exercise—if you're able to go to the gym without other people motivating you to do it, it's just you and the person staring back at you in the mirror. That's it. Your skin, your teeth, your weight—it becomes brutally clear that everything you do has a clear and immediate effect on your image. The healthier you are, the more life you gain.

It's easy to lose yourself in the process and let yourself go. Most people binge eat while watching videos on YouTube, but then blame DoorDash and McDonald's for their own choices. Being alone means you are fully in charge of your choices. Your success depends on you. In the words of modern poet G-eazy: "It's just me, myself, and I." Show yourself in the world what you can do. Nobody's in your way and nobody's there to help. You have all the space you need to be you. So do it. Make something out of what you have.

Make yourself into something that you perceive as successful. Put in the effort and watch your life bloom. You appreciate it more when you earn it on your own because nobody will ever be able to say to you that somebody else handed it to you. And that level of freedom sits at the top of the success ladder. If you're lonely or not, depends on you. Being alone and being lonely are two very different things.

The opposite is also true. You could feel lonely even when surrounded by a bunch of people, and that is one hell of a rough situation to find yourself in. Stay away from people who make you feel lonely—people where you need to play pretend, although that's not really who you are. This is also a skill you learn on your own as you get older. Getting better at being alone changes who you are because you become sufficient on your own. So your standards for who you allow in your airspace shift.

Because of it, you begin to feel like you no longer tolerate anything that doesn't contribute to furthering your well-being. They end up needing you more than you need them. And because of that, power has shifted from them to you. You become self-sufficient. If you do it right, you become your own self-sustaining ecosystem. You take care of yourself. You establish your own routines, patterns, habits, and systems that help you thrive. Life gets better and better.

People who knew you are now shocked when they meet the new you. You're a different person. But that doesn't happen to everyone. Some people choose the other route, and life starts to unravel piece by piece until they plateau in a state of perpetual mediocrity. They take it out on anyone who will listen. They're aggressive, always in a bad mood, and blaming the world for their loneliness. The difference between these two lies in the guidance they receive, in the targets they set for themselves, in the processes that govern their path forward.

The ones who get it right do it intentionally, while the ones who don't leave it up to chance. And as you know, chances are you're going to regret it. So how does one increase their likelihood of success? How does one get clarity on what they have to do and push through those mental barriers that keep you from taking action, especially when you're by yourself? You get guidance and begin to treat yourself as a work in progress—one that you rebuild one brick at a time.

Now, there are three main ways you can go about this. The first is books—read as many of them as you can in the nonfiction section. Every book you read will make you 1% better. So if you just read one or two books, you're not going to feel the difference. But they do stack up over time. The problem, though, is that reading is a bit of a boring activity for most people.

Second, events where experts coach you: You take a class, you go to a business conference, retreats, or to a workshop where someone shows you how something else gets done. You attend all the free webinars that end up being upsells for retreats or Telegram groups. The problem here is that these events cost from 500 bucks to a couple of thousand dollars a pop. The more valuable ones are over $10,000, and private sessions with experts who can tailor the advice to you are even more expensive than that.

Or third, you use the only app designed to get all the value of both of these options to you on your smartphone at a fraction of the cost. We know this is a bit of a shameless plug, but this is exactly the reason why we built the Alux app. Instead of reading 1000 books and going to 1000 events, you get this life-changing app and you get the distilled, actionable parts delivered to you in audio and video form in 15 minutes a day, whenever you want it. Go to alux.com/app right now and get it.

We just released collections in the app—or for only $99 a year, you get access to almost 1000 dedicated high-level coaching sessions, each worth between $1000 and $10,000. This app is how we are changing the entire industry. These are not book summaries. This is pure actionable value when you need it at your fingertips. alux.com/app.

The gap between mind and reality can be instant. The smaller the gap between the idea and the execution, the faster one attains success in life. The great thing about being on your own is that you determine when an action will be taken, meaning there's no one stopping you from doing it. Being alone is a permissionless world. You can act when you want to act and how you want to act.

Married people remember these days fondly—at least you know the ones who are in unhappy marriages anyway. You choose where your feet are and what you see when you look out the window. One of the biggest choices that being on your own allows is location. If you want to move to New York City tomorrow, you work your butt off for the plane ticket and in a couple of months, rent, and that's it. You want to work out of a bungalow in Asia? Same thing—South America? Bring it on.

Here is something you're not going to like hearing: being on your own and not liking where you are—well, that's a new problem. Whatever you do for a living right now, you're almost guaranteed to be able to do that somewhere else, too. If all other elements stay the same, you're always better off to go somewhere else where at least things have the potential of being better. So wisely choose where your feet are. Alone is better than a toxic environment.

If a plant doesn't blossom, you don't blame the seed; you blame the soil and the effort you put into taking care of it. You might be a great seed, but you'll never know your potential unless you change the environment you're in. Those who've left toxic relationships and are better off because of it, make sure to click the like button on this video because you know we're talking straight facts here. You will never spread your wings in a toxic environment because a toxic environment will never let you.

This environment could be your parents, your friends, your teachers, your partner, your culture, your geography. Usually, you get rid of the weeds, but if reality has taught us anything, it's that you're better off moving yourself somewhere else and leaving the weeds to cannibalize each other. But the scariest part after doing all of that is there are no scapegoats to blame for anything. Some of you have been hiding behind these very valid claims until you leave.

Now you're on your own. What you do is what you get. Who you are today and tomorrow adds up to who you become. Once you remove all of those reasons why you're not where you want to be in life, well, you're left with a crude and brutal truth of reality: you get what you earn through brains and effort. If you fail, it's because you are simply not good enough yet. If you give up, well, that's another story.

Your identity is who you decide to be. The absolute best part of taking your life into your own hands and going at it on your own is that you rid yourself of all of the labels your upbringing put onto you. Where you're going, people don't know you. They don't know your past. You get a fresh start. How amazing is it to have the option to have a fresh start—to choose the person others get to meet for the first time?

One can shape their reality by reshaping their identity. Have you ever imagined moving to a new country? Switching your boring job to something you actually care about? Changing the way you look and feel in your body? Living a life that excites you by being closer to who you really are, not who you have to settle to be? Just how transformational?

Have you ever wondered why so many people fail to do it? Most people don't even know it's possible, and even fewer know how to make it happen. But what if someone could show you exactly how to do it and hold your hand through the entire process? For the life of your dreams, you would pay any price for that you could afford, right? Well, we're about to blow your mind.

Starting from now, we're opening the doors to our flagship course, Reinvent Mastery, which will become available at alux.com/reinvent. And that's literally the promise and the guarantee of this premium learning experience. If your life doesn't radically change in the next six months since you join the course, we'll give you all of your money back—no questions asked. If you don't think the person you are right now lives up to who you're supposed to be, if you feel stuck, if you feel like something is missing, if you don't fit in with the current environment, well, allow us to help you change all of that.

Go to alux.com/reinvent and be sure to have your name on the waiting list before we launch. We open up the doors for only seven days and then they shut closed as we'll be working with those in the course. So you don't want to miss out. Alux.com/reinvent.

Your work is pure. The only way to be original is to remove yourself from all the other sources of inspiration. Do so, and it'll eventually come to you. Life is complex, and great ideas float into the ether of space. Whoever has got their antenna ready to capture them gets to reap the benefits. Rich Rubin taught us that when you're alone, you produce better work. This is why masters used to shut themselves up into their atelier and only come out when the work was done.

Being alone allows you to tune out the world and tap into some reservoir of creativity and genius that you didn't even know you had. The longer you are alone, the better you get at being alone. There are three phases to being alone. The first: the excitement of the new. This is where you're overwhelmed by the abundance of options. You're experiencing a level of freedom you haven't tasted before, so you indulge yourself in everything.

Time goes by and things settle in. And that's where you enter phase two: repetitive boringness. This is where, after you've tried most of the things that seemed exciting to you at first, you picked the most convenient ones and stuck with them for a while. You order takeaway from the same three restaurants on rotation instead of cooking. You told yourself that you would run every morning, but since you stay up too late watching reruns, it doesn't feel right when the time comes to wake up and go.

You do this for a while, and at some point, you realize every day starts to look dangerously close to the one before, and a wake-up call happens. Something's got to change, and so you change. Then it's on to phase three: you find one thing that really gives you a happiness boost. You discover you love riding your bike. You head off with some folks at your gym, and now you don't want to miss a day. You find a new job, a new restaurant, a new rhythm for life.

From this point forward, being alone not only makes it easier, but you enjoy it more because you got really good at being alone. You're actually having fun now, and the truth is you'll keep at it until your life becomes so good it'll feel kind of weird not sharing it with someone else. So find a partner you want to be alone with. But time is ticking.

Although, as a society, we chose to hit snooze on marriage, family, kids, etc., as time goes on, you realize the number of potential prospects rapidly goes down. And if you wait too long, you no longer get a first-round pick. Before you set YouTube on fire with your comments, there is a harsh reality we want you to be aware of: not everyone has the same timetable as you.

The violation of this rule is what leads to all those "the one that got away" kinds of situations. Some people will regret their choices their entire lives because they got so used to being alone. They got so good at it that they were afraid to let anyone in. The best partners out there are those you want to be alone with—alone from everybody else—together.

You're enough. Being alone reveals who you want to hang out with. This might sound counterintuitive at first, but the more you think about it, the more it makes sense. When you're alone, you gravitate to the type of content you vibrate with. This becomes a puzzle piece of your identity. Over time, you'll acquire all of these different pieces. When the time comes to go out, these puzzle pieces serve as checks to see who are the people you're going to vibe with.

Some of our greatest experiences to date have been the times we've met with Aluxers out in the wild and got to hear their stories. For those of you who are new here, we are on a journey to change the lives of 1 billion people through education and to create at least 1000 millionaires from scratch. That's why so many people subscribe to our channel and our app. If you're one of them, we thank you for showing up today.

And finally, alone is a cage locked from the inside. You are the one who chooses to be alone. You're the one who decides when it's time to put an end to it. But the more time that passes, the more effort you'll have to put into re-acclimatizing yourself to living amongst others. Some people get so good at being alone that they never want to come back.

As with everything in life, though, there are no one-size-fits-all solutions. But based on experience, we found value in doing both. The act of creation is superior when done in isolation, but the act of consumption is better when done with people. May this serve as a guiding light as you move forward with your life, Aluxers.

Now, what about you? If you had 100 points to divide up, how many would go to being alone and how many would go to being around people? Let us know in the comments. And since you took the time to watch this video until the very end, you've earned yourself a secret bonus. Go fast until you decide to go far. Everybody knows the saying right? If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.

Or the minimal Silicon Valley version: move fast, break things. This is the ethos of the early-stage individual. If you're early, if you don't know who you are, or how to get a vague idea of where you want to go, then speed is your friend. The more things you try in the short period of time as possible, the more personal progress you'll make.

If you don't know who you are and what you want to do with your life, it's because you violate this rule. So be alone. Move as fast as you can until you finally start getting some clarity. Then once you've made that progress, your ability to choose where you want to go and who you're going to go with dramatically improves. This applies to yourself, to your personal relationships, and in business. You do everything yourself until you know who to hire and how you want things to be done.

If your life hasn't clicked yet, it's because you lack speed. The more you think about it, the more it'll resonate with your current reality. You're waiting for your life to change without actually putting your foot on the gas. And if that changes today, right. The word speed in the comments—let's confuse the hell out of those who don't watch these videos until the end.