"COLLEGE WON'T Make You Successful, DO THESE 3 THINGS INSTEAD!" | Kevin O'Leary

Every time I've lost dough, and I've lost plenty, luckily I've had more successes than failures, is when I didn't listen to my gut, which is my experience. You think that you've come here and you've got an MBA and you're going to go out in the world and you're going to rock and you're going to be incredibly successful. I've got news for you: for two-thirds of you, the world is gonna chew you up and spit you out. You know, I've learned a lot from the CEOs I've invested in over the years. There was a woman, a few years ago—much more, probably 10 years ago now—and she said to me something really interesting. I asked her why she was so successful, because she was. She said, “I do something very ordinary and almost boring, but I do it every day.”

She takes a sticky note and she writes three things she has to get done before she texts, answers any calls, or does anything else. Just three things, and she sticks it on the mirror where she puts her makeup on. It doesn't have to be business things; it can be whatever it is that are deemed to be important to get done the next day. Maybe it's something that's a holdover from the day before. I've been doing this now for years, and it's really effective. This isn't tech; you're not putting it in your phone. It's not a software program; it's a piece of paper, and you have it, you know, right when you're going to bed, brushing your teeth, whatever. You write those three things down, you stick it on the mirror. I do it every night, and then I am myopically focused to get those three things done right before I do anything else.

I nail those three things. You cannot believe how productive you get when that happens because you don't let the distractions of all the other crap that's happening around you. I just don't do it until I get the three things done, and it's incredibly powerful. I tell people to try it; most people try it, get stuck on it, and they stick with it. It's really because in life, there's so much noise coming at you, and every year, more noise and all kinds of different distractions. You always say to yourself, "Well, I can multitask," but you deemed that thing to be very important and you ignored it. Now, it's three in the afternoon, you're exhausted or you're busy with other stuff, and you say, "Oh, I didn't get that done," and it's whatever, whatever the effects, the domino effects are, they're going to hurt you. That's why I tell people to try it out. It's a really great tool.

Okay, that's number one. What's the second big habit?

Okay, so this one's a little funky chicken. It comes with a story. When I was—you know, I wanted to be a photographer or a musician, a rock star when I graduated, when I got out of high school, and my dad, my stepdad said to me, “You're not good; you're not good enough at either of those; you'll starve to death. If I were you, I would go get any kind of a degree and focus on business,” which is what I did. You know, I didn't know what I wanted to do, but I learned some stuff and I ended up going into postgraduate. I went and got an MBA, which at that time was a two-year program. You know, we can talk about the merits of that or not because I've come to realize what it was worth and what it wasn't worth.

But anyways, I remember on the last week—the graduating class—it's sort of like an amphitheater with about 100 people in it. You've been there for two years; you've got your little name plate in front, and they bring in guest lecturers to talk to you before you jump into the real world. This guy comes in, and I'll never forget it. He doesn't—he walks up, the professor hands him the floor, and he just goes in the middle and just looks up at everybody for maybe—it felt like forever, but it was really maybe 60 seconds—didn't say a word, and the whole room, like you could have heard a pin drop. I'll never forget it. Then he says, “You guys think you're so hot. You think that you've come here and you've got an MBA, and you're going to go out in the world and you're going to rock and you're going to be incredibly successful. I've got news for you: for two-thirds of you, the world is going to chew you up and spit you out. You have no idea what's going to happen to you. You are so irrelevant. You have proven nothing. You've done nothing. You think an MBA means something? It's worthless.”

And I remember the guy beside me—I've been beside me for two years—we were up in the one row down from the top, so we can chat all the time, hide a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I said to him, “Barry” was his name, “I said Barry, this guy is such a—what an—what an arrogant, actually is.” Well guess what? He was right! He was 100 percent right, and the reason he pointed that out was the idea that your experiences make you who you are over time as an entrepreneur, as a parent, as a person, as whatever you are, as a brand, whatever you are. It’s your experiences and how you deal with them that gives you that equity over time.

For many people, they can’t make it; it doesn't work out for them. They don't have what it takes to take on the abuse that the world’s gonna throw at you. Just to give you full circle, in a kumbaya, you know, circle of life, Lion King kind of moment, I got caught saying the same thing a couple of months ago at the Harvard MBA group. I realized I was saying the same thing that that guy said to me decades ago. I said to these kids, “You all think you're Harvard MBAs; you are nothing burgers. You are nothing.”

And there you have it. What he really explained was the idea of experience and how you have to listen to your gut to navigate the bombs of your career. You have to trust it. You have to trust your gut. Every time I’ve lost dough—every time—and I’ve lost plenty, luckily I've had more successes than failures is when I didn't listen to my gut, which is my experience, and I shouldn't—he was right. He was absolutely right. It was great information, but I couldn't assimilate it because I couldn't put it in context. Now I understand it.

So number two is you need to build that experience and, all the way through, listen to your gut. Even when you’re young, your gut will tell you. You'll know when it's right and wrong, and don't go against your intuition. That is actually your radar; that's your DNA speaking to you, figuring out what the next move is going to be. That's a powerful story.

Did they say the same thing to you in the back of the room and say, “What an atlas guy” when you gave him the speech at Harvard?

Yeah, the—well, it's Matt Higgins, who was a—get your shot, I know very well. Yeah, yeah. So Matt, he emailed me the next day and said, “Hey, Kevin, I got to tell you, you're a disturber.” I mean, you know, much of the class really enjoyed it, but what he was really saying is he pissed a few people off. But you know, I know Higgins pretty well; we're good friends, and so, you know, he’s—he’s really savvy at what he does. We wanted to talk about direct-to-consumer branding, and that's what we were doing in that lesson was two hours. It was great. I work with that guy anytime; he’s terrific. Yeah, great guy, great content on LinkedIn; he has—he's always sharing that content with me there.

And the third habit that makes you very successful—well, you know, it’s—you have to make time in your life for your significant other and your family, and it's very hard to do. It's extremely hard to do because you—when you—this is really speaking to more to the entrepreneurial community out there, which is basically a third of people. One-third will attempt to take the entrepreneurial journey. It's not a destination; it's a journey, and the challenges of that are very, very difficult, particularly when you're starting out.

I learned this the hard way, and again, I'm going to go to a story of a class that I taught years ago in the evening class. This really sums it up; it tells you how important this is. Three-hour class, six to nine, we’re almost closing, you know, how ten minutes left, this guy hadn't said a word the whole class. He finally puts up his hand and says, “Listen, Mr. Wonderful, I have a question for you. It's not about the case. What's the case we’re doing? I need some advice.”

I said, “Okay, you know, you really haven't participated at all.” I was kind of a little condescending because I know you guys kind of know who's engaged in the class, even though it was a huge cohort; I think it was something like 300, 400—I can't remember, it was a lot of people. Anyway, he said, “I have—I'm graduating this year. I'm an engineer and I've developed a cloud-based software enterprise system that helps hedge funds with less than 250 million dollars be compliant. It's very difficult to stay compliant when you're small.” He needs two and twenty hedge funds, and it was a subscription service so these guys could use it on a cloud basis. He had written this code while he was graduating in engineering. Wow!

And I said, “I don't hear a problem here; I hear something incredible going on! This is amazing!” He said, “Well, here's the problem. My fiancée came to me this morning and I'm really deserving. She said I have to make a choice; she can't live with me anymore. I never attend any of her family's picnics. I never see anybody on weekends. I’m either studying or I'm working on the code; that's all I can do. I asked her to come over and sleep with me when she can, and we’d be together, but I'm just buried in this. I need to do both; I need to get my graduation in engineering, and I need to keep my customers happy because this is my business now.”

He said, “What do I do?” Rooms like this is getting interesting, right? I mean, I said, “Okay, which one is easier to replace, your business or your fiancée?” And that was probably not the right thing to say at the time, but that's what I was thinking in my head and I think everybody else was too. This guy's phenomenally successful, clearly has gotten engaged to the wrong person that can't take that journey with him. The most likely outcome is divorce after they marry because he’s going to work 25 hours a day, eight days a week, because he’s got a business; he’s an entrepreneur.

My point is, one of the biggest decisions you're going to make in your life between success and failure, as a person, is finding that right partner. I don’t care who that is; if you’re going to take that route, they have to be in sync with who you are. You can't contort yourself to something else, and I think that a lot of people in their 20s really should think this through. Because, you know, not—I told you I'm in the wedding industry. I've got a lot of companies and I've learned a lot about marriages.

The reason marriages fail is not because of infidelity; any marriage can survive that. I talked about it earlier, but why they fail? The union breaks up 50 percent of the time within five years is financial stress. One outspends the other; they're not in sync together. They don't share each other's goals. That's the hardest time in your life in your 20s—maybe start a family, whatever you're going to do. The point is picking that partner is the third thing you either do right or you do wrong. Divorce is incredibly stressful; many people try it three, four times. They’re not in sync with their partner.

I'm just—you know, this is kind of like a little Dr. Phil in some ways, but I'm telling you, with the CEOs I work with and all the investors I work with, I see stress in people when their relationships are falling apart, and it's devastating. So there's a story; there are those three things I care about in giving guidance. I think everybody knows what I'm talking about and should think about these.

These are powerful stories and I'm curious. Love and money is such an interesting topic because most people disagree on it, or one person is outspending, and then they get divorced. One of the main reasons is money. What questions should partners be asking each other before they get married around money? How honest should they be, and what if they have a massive disconnect around money but they have this intimacy and connection and love? Should they, you know, just break up before the wedding or what do you think would be the right move to make?

So I have given a lot of guidance in this space. In fact, I've written three books about it called “Men, Women, and Money,” “Men, Women, and Children.” It’s all kinds of advice about family. But here’s how the journey works: you meet somebody, it's a great first date. You have a second date; it's even better. Okay? By the time you're having your third date, the only reason you're having your third date is both of you are very interested in each other.

And that is the time to start talking about the future. I know that sounds corny, and I understand. If you're just hooking up for hooking up, I get it; you don't have to worry about this. But if you're actually stopping seeing anybody else and you're on your third date with somebody you’ve met, and they’ve done the same thing and you’re being honest with each other, something’s going on.

Okay? Now, it’s time to start doing a little due diligence because this is going to get serious. By the fourth date and you're not seeing anybody else and you're talking about, you know, doing whatever you're going to do together, it's a big deal and you have to understand a little bit about where their heads are at.

Number one is, you know, talk about family. Do you want to have one? I mean, you know, it’s a question; some people don’t. You got to know that up front. You make a decision about it. Can you have one? It’s a discussion; gotta have a tough discussion. Again, staying honest.

Number two, what are your goals? How do you see yourself in 10 years? Are you at home? Are you working or would you be raising kids? I know this sounds corny, but believe me, women want that question and men want it too. If you’re on your fourth date, they’re dying to get into this because they're starting to really invest their time in what they think they're going to be.

Is anybody in your family bankrupt? Tough question. Ooh, tough question. Have you ever been bankrupt? Then you ask, how much debt do you have on your credit card? Tough question. Do you pay off your credit card every month? Oh my God! And then they say, “Why are you asking me?”

And if they say, “Why are you asking me this question?” you say, “Why can't you answer that? What makes you feel uncomfortable about this question?”

Well, what I really—I really worry that the reason—you know, you've got to be in sync with some. The great—here's the thing about marriage, about getting together, whether you're married or not or whoever your significant other is. If those are aligned, if you have an understanding of each other that is in sync, that union could last 50 years because after the euphoria is over with, you're in business with each other.

You have to build a financial pillar to support growing old together or raising a family or buying a house or doing whatever you're going to do, and you need to be in sync on that stuff. This is tough, but I'll tell you something: every man and woman I've talked to about this—and when I was researching my books, all three of them—I was amazed at how forthcoming people would be and say, “I'm dying to answer that question. I'm dying to ask that question. I'm on my fourth date; I really want to know that about my potential partner because I'm really interested in this person and I think we could be great together, and at least I'd like to try it, but I've got to know these things.”

They're tough questions, and you—and if you like the answers, then you should feel encouraged to keep going. And if you don't like them, you really have to do some soul searching because high probability—at least 50 percent—it's not going to work out.

This is interesting, and what if someone doesn't share the same money mindset values as you do but you're so in love with them that you have this incredible connection? You just laugh at everything that you guys share; you know, everything is easy except for that one thing. Do you still think there's a potential you could work on that, or is it, “Hey, if they don't have the mindset now, they're never gonna have it?”

If they don't have the mindset now, they're never gonna have it. You know what you gotta do? You gotta move on. Tough; really tough because it'll only end in misery. You know, I always say this: people say to me all the time, "What a cold, heartless you are talking about love this way." It's not about money. And I say, “Oh, yeah, it’s always about the money.”

The reason people break up, you'll find out, it's always about money. It's always about money. It's not about—it, at the root of every divorce, I'll show you money. It won't be because they screwed around. You know, it's really some stress that's occurred within the family because of financial. And look, I'm just telling you the truth. I've already—I started our conversation saying I was going to do that, and you're going to get all kinds of people listening to say, “What a—why don't—I’m 100 percent right!”

You know, I've been around long enough watching this happen to so many people that I want to give them good advice, and I'm giving them good advice. You really have to get this bedrock nailed down; you really do. And particularly if you're into your second year with somebody, you know? Usually, what happens is relationships get intense, they then become—you know, they agree that they’re going to be just with each other, which is a very encouraging sign.

Then they may go on for another year or so before they tie the knot, or maybe they're never going to tie the knot. But the point is they move in together; they start buying assets together. You've got to get the financial thing nailed down.

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