Mustache Maintenance - Fan Questions | StarTalk

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I've never in my life shaved my mustache. I've trimmed it, but I've never—a razor has never touched my upper lip in my entire life. So, two things are true: there's no hair growth between like every pair of my thing and the bottom of my nose—I don't shave that; this just doesn't grow there, right? And then it grows like in the lower half of the lip, and so there's all the hair right there.

And so if it gets too long, I just, you know, just sort of cut it. I've had this mustache back ever since when mustaches were in style. Some people have accused it as being a 1970s porn stash, porn mustache. You see all the porn stars of the era had mustaches. But yeah, I just—it's just little barber scissors, just so it doesn't get all in your mouth and get all bushy.

I remember being around 15, sort of drawing in a mustache so I could get into X-rated movies. This is before porn was completely free on the internet. You know, like this was your only access. And so I tried to pretend like I was 17 or something, even though I was 14 or 15. Who knows how real it actually looked to others?

I have to believe as an adult myself that the adult people at the movie theater—they must have known. They just must have known and just laughed about it later. Kids always think they can outsmart adults, and I'm pretty sure adults just let them think that.