Why Tipping Is Out of Control in the U.S.
Imagine you finished the best meal of your life. The restaurant has white linen tablecloths, and a candle flickers in the center of the table. Wine is flowing, and thanks to the competent and charming waiter, you've had an amazing culinary experience. At the end of the meal, you're feeling satisfied, and when the bill comes, you leave a generous tip without a second thought.
When we think about tipping, this is the kind of classic scenario that comes to mind: something you do after an exceptional experience. Or you may have a personal relationship with your barber or mechanic that obliges you to slip them some extra cash. But nowadays, tipping is increasingly becoming standard in many customer-facing industries. Not only that, but the nature and etiquette around tipping has changed.
Why is it that tipping now feels out of the customer's control? Whether in coffee shops, delis, boutiques, or at the dog groomers, it now seems rude to not tip after every service. It doesn't matter the industry; a tip is now expected as the price of doing business. The nature of tipping has changed. Long gone are the days of spare change clinking into a tip jar. Now customers must wrestle with the spinning iPad; they have to choose how much they think the service is worth right in front of the person who just performed it. Awkward, especially if you didn't have an experience worthy of anything extra.
How did we get here and what is the psychology behind it all? Tipping and the low wages it permits is more than just a topic for a video essay; it's a real problem that causes stagnant pay in an economy with rising costs. It's gotten so bad that most Americans believe they need over $1.4 million to retire, a number that's increased by a whopping 50% in the past four years alone. Even worse, the usual stock and bond portfolio that so many people rely on is expected to underperform for the next decade, according to Goldman Sachs.
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A discreet way to show your gratitude and a recognition of their hard work because, at the end of the day, society relies on everyone's collective kindness and labor. Things only get done if people show up for work; sometimes to do things they really don't want to do. Of course, it would be nice if everyone could get paid a decent living wage doing exciting work, but it's a cruel fact of life that work isn't always pleasant and pay is often low.
Yet there's a massive stigma around client-facing work. It's often viewed as lowly, easy, and something that is less than. Most customers are aware of this and use the tip to ease the service worker's mental burden. It might make the customer feel better about themselves if they pay a little extra to someone doing a job they feel is beneath them. If you want your coffee without any hassle, keeping your server happy might be a good idea. Maybe this system initially provided a sense of camaraderie between client and patron, keeping everyone in the coffee house in good spirits. There is a rewarding social aspect to going out, having a good time with friends, and including the waiter in that experience.
Think about a waiter telling a good joke or offering recommendations that become new favorites. Some of these experiences will make lifelong memories. Americans traveling overseas brought tipping culture back home with them, but, as with any good thing, shady businessmen were ready to take advantage of this situation. Soon all goodwill was gone, and instead, it became a standard of the American economy. Entrepreneurs started to use this new system to their advantage, and it would now avoid paying their employees a full wage. Porters, cloakroom attendants, and cab drivers had to rely on the kindness of their patrons to earn a living wage.
In Europe, introducing a livable minimum wage did away with tipping culture. When customers and staff understand that they're receiving fair pay, there is no obligation to tack on a little extra. The total opposite became the norm in America: gratuity became the solution for businesses looking to save a little cash. This takes away from the sometimes kind and nice exchange between customer and patron. In 1966, Congress lowered the mandatory base wage of tipped employees. Today, on average, service workers are only getting paid $2.13 an hour. The expectation is that tips will make up the remainder of their wage. That's not a fair burden to place on the backs of customers, especially ones who can't afford to tip what a service is worth.
The truth is that the service worker's job is to cater to your needs, whether it's at the nail salon or while they clean your house. You're employing someone to work for you; often it's intimate work, things you wouldn't otherwise do for yourself. For some, there's a sense of shame in this; you feel that you're using somebody else's labor for your well-being as clientele. How much responsibility do we bear for the bottom line of the businesses we frequent? Guilt plays a huge role in how quickly you reach for your pocketbook. I think a lot of people feel ashamed when they're waited upon. There's this notion that the person serving you is somehow below you, and that doesn't make you feel good. You might feel like you need to compensate them to make yourself feel better, to help you feel better about this power imbalance. Maybe you slip them an extra $5 or bump their tip to 20% when the iPad swivels around.
This makes you feel good about yourself. You can reassure yourself that you're a good person, not someone who just allows hard work to go unnoticed. It puts you back on the level of the person who has just done something for you—a true token of your appreciation. Yet it's becoming the norm that many industries that don't offer direct service, like cafeterias or bakeries, are now asking their customers to leave a little something. Gone are the days of the jar by the till collecting loose change. The touchscreen that accompanies payment options formalizes the tip. A tip doesn't feel like a choice anymore; the ever-rising percentages are glaring at you. What are you supposed to do? Choose no tip right in front of the barista handing you your coffee? It just seems cruel, so you end up paying a dollar or two more than you ever planned.
Even from the point of view of the staff, tipping can be awkward or condescending. Yes, this unequal power dynamic exists between staff and client, but formalizing it with an extra exchange of money only draws attention to the inequality. As a worker, you're already trying hard enough and don't want to be judged. You have enough on your mind that you're busting tables or cutting hair. Now imagine, on top of that, working your whole shift in a state of anxiety, worried about whether you've done a good enough job to deserve a tip. The amount of your tips might also hinge on factors entirely out of your control. Race, gender, and overall appearance play a huge role in whether somebody gets a payday.
So some service workers think it might be a good idea to do away with tips altogether. What if the tip was already included in the price of the bill? Of course, prices would be a little higher, but it could mean we can avoid this awkward dance at the end of every service interaction. Some people advocate for this for equity's sake; others think it should be up to the patron whether or not they would like to add a little extra. The problem with tipping culture is that there is no solution. I think it's too embedded in our way of life to disappear completely. Yet as it stands, it is also out of control.
People always feel weird about how they spend their money. Whether or not you think your waiter deserves an extra tip is deeply personal, and for some customers, telling them not to tip is an insult. Some people enjoy splashing a little extra to take care of the workers who take care of them. Tipping has the ability to make both the customer and the employee feel good, especially in America. It never works to try and tell people what to do with their dollar.
Of course, the pandemic had a significant effect on tipping culture. Some businesses wouldn't have survived without the extreme generosity of their patrons, tipping them for little to no service at all. Otherwise, people wouldn't have been paid, and some of your favorite establishments would have closed their doors. Customers have become so used to this practice that it has continued on post-pandemic, and now it's become slightly ridiculous because it begs the question: what services deserve to be tipped, and who is accountable for making sure workers receive an adequate wage?
First, I think we should differentiate between large businesses and small businesses when it comes to tipping. I think giant corporations should be responsible for ensuring their employees get paid. It seems a little suspicious for chain coffee shops and restaurants with large profit margins to be demanding the customer fork over a little bit extra cash. Small businesses might have more of a right to ask for a tip. They're in a position where every cent matters to their bottom line. Having a devoted customer base that tips might help keep the lights on; tips might help them through when times are tough, and the community would be better for it.
There are also huge issues about what employers do with the money you tip. It's not always the case that your tip goes directly to the person you want it to. Some employers pool tips and divide them equally between the staff. Even those working in a non-customer-serving role can take home a fair chunk of change. Is this fair? I would think those who directly work with the customers might get a bit frustrated. After all, they did make a direct relationship with the customer and would have been the ones who earned the tip. What does having that tip taken and split among your co-workers mean? Then again, you could argue that everyone in the establishment, regardless of their role with customers, is responsible for the overall experience.
Think about a coffee shop. Yes, the barista prepares and serves your coffee, but what about the roaster or the cleaning staff that make the café a pleasant place to spend time? Everybody is involved in making sure you have a good experience. I think it's up to businesses to decide their standards, and it's up to us as consumers to make a well-informed decision every time we step up to the till.
I think the general rule of thumb should be to follow the guidelines set out by the business. If gratuity is covered in the overall price, let it be that way. But if you know that your service worker relies on tips, don't withhold them. I also think it should be up to you to use your discretion. If you're asked to tip at a place where you didn't make an honest connection to the service staff and don't want to tip, then don't tip. I don't think you should feel too guilty when you don't tip in those scenarios. Just remember that the pit in your stomach might be exactly what they want you to feel.
Maybe some businesses and industries rely on the guilty conscience of their customer base. It's important not to fall into that trap. Then your tip comes from a place of insecurity; it's not a genuine reflection of how you felt about the service. While money is money, emotional exchange is also an aspect to consider when tipping. The person on the other side of the counter is just trying their best; treating them with respect and dignity is essential.
You don't want to use your money as a tool to make you feel better about yourself. In the sense of tipping, use your money honestly. Also, when it comes to tipping, people might spend too much time considering how their actions affect others. When the iPad swivels around, and you don't feel like the service provided warrants a tip, just let it be. Really, in the grand scheme of things, although the service worker might be upset for a minute, they will most likely forget this interaction. Don't let the awkward moment cloud your better judgment; your wallet will thank you for it.