How to get out of a rut? Mental healing series episode 1

It's literally 4 AM, and I still haven't studied yet. Why is this happening? Just why? I think I'm gonna sleep for years. I misunderstood the meaning of productivity. Being more productive didn't mean I was doing the most important work. It only meant I was reacting to other people's priorities faster.

Being productive didn't mean getting more done; it actually meant making time for things that actually matter to me. For years, I had a misconception that I can only rest if I get my today's tasks done, but it's so wrong and so harmful for my mental and physical health in the long run. I was thinking I can't rest now. I couldn't be tired. I didn't get that much done. How can I be tired? I was comparing myself to my heroes and looking at myself and feeling miserable about myself.

I was telling others that we shouldn't compare ourselves to others, but I was the one who was doing it. I was defining my value according to my productivity, but it's so wrong. I am me; I should find my value no matter what happens to me. I shouldn't define my happiness according to my success and according to how much money I make. After finding myself crying in the shower for no reason multiple times, feeling empty and hopeless, I decided to change.

I decided to be happy. I said in the previous video of mine that I'm gonna do a 30-day challenge, but no limiting ourselves with a deadline when we are trying to heal is not a good idea. I'm gonna take care of myself no matter how long it takes. We're gonna fall; we're gonna fail, but no matter what, we're gonna stand up and follow our happiness, follow our dreams. This is a journey that's gonna continue throughout my life—being happy with myself and not allowing success to define my value.

For the first week, I decided to rest and do nothing. I decided to allow myself to do whatever I want and feel not guilty about it. And here, my good girls, boys, however you want to refer to yourself, is the first episode of my healing. I woke up miserable, feeling guilty about myself, about the decisions that I made. I was so ashamed about being burned out and feeling like a piece of [ __ ].

But I wanted to change. I knew from my past experiences that a little bit of workout always helps me with mental issues. The first workout always feels bad; you feel exhausted. Every single one of your muscles hurts. But even the reality of you getting up and trying is motivating. There are zillions of researches proving the impact of even 5-minute workouts. If you feel stuck, move your body. The mind-body connection: better physical health, better mental health.

Physical and mental health are much more connected than many people realize. The mind-body connection is real. This means that caring for your physical health can help improve your mental health. Unfortunately, I couldn't finish the workout, but at least I'm feeling a little bit better. After my six-minute workout, I took a cold shower and went to the massage salon. After getting a Thai massage, I felt immediately better.

Since I work at my desk for multiple hours a day, I can't explain to you how sore my muscles were. If you can afford it, I would highly recommend getting a massage, but if you can't, no problem. I have a super yummy recipe to relax your body and release tension. If you don't know how to massage yourself, I'll put some links down in the description below so that you can follow through and learn how to do it. I promise it's so good.

Even though I felt so relaxed after the massage, my toxic productive mind was always kept telling myself that I need to study or read or learn new things. But I said no. I said this week is the relaxation week. This week is the week that I allow myself to rest. I edited my video titled "We Need to Talk" so that I can publish it the next day. Editing videos is a fun thing for me. I love it; I enjoy it, so I did that.

I should probably batch film and hire an editor, but I'm not ahead of my uploading schedule yet. But I hope I'll achieve that in the near future. Okay, it's 10:36. It's day two. Good morning! I just released the video titled "We Need to Talk," and the positive comments that I get are so incredible that I'm gonna cry. I hope that we will get better. I think I'll do a bit of meditation and yoga today, maybe before going to bed.

Yeah, I love you guys. I did a quick five-minute workout to pump up my body and feel the endorphins kicking in. It definitely works. I know rolling onto your mat and actually doing the workout is hard, but your body deserves it; you deserve it. Treat your body right. I feel much better right now. I think I'll take a shower, and we'll see.

So I took a very hot shower, and I feel so relaxed right now. I also massaged myself in the bathroom using baby oil. I use this baby oil to massage myself because this is the cheapest one that I can find. But you can use whatever fancy oil that you have in order to massage yourself. I just bought this because it was very cheap.

After releasing the video "We Need to Talk," one of my friends contacted me. She's currently studying psychology at uni, and she recommended me a meditation app, and I fell in love with the app. The app is so good. I'll probably buy the premium version of this. They give you like a seven-day trial. So good. You know what? I'm gonna contact them right now because the app is so good; I definitely want to do some sort of collaboration with them.

I'm currently watching a bunch of random videos of Emma Chamberlain. I really love her videos. It's currently 2 AM. I should probably be sleeping, but you know what? I'm just gonna allow myself to watch some Emma Chamberlain's videos. Peace. It's currently 3 AM. I didn't study, and I also didn't read, but I think I'm gonna sleep. I feel a bit guilty right now because I literally spent my time ah so randomly, but it's okay, I guess? Good night.

Hi guys, it's the third day. I just woke up; it's currently 11 AM. I felt guilty for doing nothing, but I was determined to learn how to rest. I watched some YouTube videos without feeling guilty. I decided to write down my expectations, what I'm having trouble with, and how I can improve my life, etc. So we'll see.

Okay, so I'm gonna write down the things using Notion. Let's create a page called "Mental Breakdown Guide." It's basically kind of like a thing that I used to do. I think I read it in some sort of productivity book. It was basically saying that every single time you have a problem, you keep asking yourself why. For example, what is my problem? So I'm currently having a mental breakdown.

I kinda feel stuck, and I kinda feel burned out, but I don't know the reason. So I just wrote, "I'm feeling stuck," and then I ask myself why. I have super high expectations from myself, and I don't know how to rest. And then you ask once more why? I don't know how to care about my mental health. Why? I actually know it, but I didn't do it. Why? Kind of lazy. Why? Because I don't build the habit or system to make me do it.

By asking yourself, by keeping asking yourself why and why and why, you actually understand your deep thoughts. I don't really realize that much. I'm really bad at emotions; I don't really realize my emotions, so I always ask myself why. And during that process, I find out the reason. And now we find out the reason. The reason was basically I wasn't even allowing myself to feel burned out because I was telling myself that I don't have even like permission to burn out, because you don't do that much, so you cannot burn out right now.

That was a toxic mindset that I had back in the day, but now I realize that I actually do a lot of things. Like why I thought that way? When you're in the process, when you have a toxic relationship with something, it doesn't have to be with productivity; you can be in a toxic relationship with your partner or with your friends or maybe with your family.

When you're in that toxic relationship, you don't realize that. When I look back at the mindset that I had, it was very toxic, and now I can realize it. But at that time, I couldn't realize it. But since we realize it right now, I just wrote out all of the expectations that I have from myself. I categorize all the expectations that I have into five categories, and they are studying, YouTube, fun, physical health, and mental health.

Yeah, so these are my goals. So today, I think I really want to focus more on exercising, because I haven't been exercising for a very long time. Today's goal—the only goal—is basically exercise for five minutes. In order to make my exercise session a little bit fun, I decide to walk to a café and chill there. I used to study at cafés pretty often when I was in high school, but I never chilled alone by myself. So I decided to go to a café and do whatever I want.

Guys, oh my god! The half-Japanese, half-Turkish video hit 1 million views. I'm so thankful to you guys, and like that video really changed my life! I'm not going to cry today. Why do I look so different there? I don't know. This is the video that changed my life. Before going to bed, I did 20 minutes of meditation to relax and chill. It really works; even if you don't have mental issues, I would highly recommend you to try it. The best way to stay healthy, physically and mentally, is by preventing things.

Hey guys, it's currently 8:38 AM. I think we're making pretty good progress. I messed up my makeup; it looks weird. But anyways, I got my second dose of the vaccine, and my arm starts to hurt so freaking much. I started to feel really tired because of the vaccine, but I think it's okay. Also, I have a meeting in 30 minutes.

I had a meeting with the meditation app team, and I explained how much I liked the app, and we discussed the terms and sponsorship deals. We had to delay the sponsorship to next Sunday because I wanted you guys to get a long trial of the premium version. They needed a little bit of time to create the special link/code dedicated to people who come from my channel. So stay tuned for the app reveal!

After I watched some YouTube videos while trying to feel no guilt, an hour or later, I went to bed to sleep because I was feeling a bit tired because of the vaccine. Hi guys, it's me. Hi guys, it's me editing! While I was editing day 5 and day 6, I realized that my camera's audio wasn't recording.

So every single footage that I took doesn't have any audio recorded because my mic was turned off. So we need to end this vlog right here. I'm so sorry for that. I'm currently using a different microphone; I hope that it works.

Anyways, let's summarize this week. The only thing that I tried this week is to do nothing, and it really worked, as I feel so refreshed right now. I just feel so energized right now. You might realize from my energy, but I feel so ready for the other weeks to tackle and do more stuff, but rest at the same time, learn about more mental health, and learn about things.

I also decided to work through the weekdays. So from Monday to Friday is basically my work day, where I study and do a bunch of productivity stuff, and Saturday is the YouTube day. So I'll be only focusing on YouTube—like making videos, writing scripts, responding to emails, dealing with the sponsorships, answering your guys' comments. On Sundays, I decided to take a full rest. It basically means that I'm not gonna do anything; I'm just gonna do the things that I want to do, such as reading, chilling, watching anime, caring about myself—doing some self-care, skincare, etc.

So I decided to do that. So yeah, I feel so good after taking a long break—a whole week. I am finally back and finally back with the energy that you signed up for. Ah, I feel so good right now; I feel so good. Meditation really helps. Exercising really helps. But sometimes, the only thing that you need is to give yourself time and take care of yourself and rest.

So that's the thing that I would recommend. From week two, I will introduce you guys to some productivity tips, and we will incorporate those steps into our lives without stressing ourselves. If you like this video, stay tuned for next week's episode. Bye guys!