5 Signs You're Dealing With An Evil Person | Stoicism

[Music] It's a harsh reality, but some people in our lives take pleasure in causing harm and chaos. Think about it: you could be sharing moments and trusting someone only to discover they are the very source of your turmoil.

Today, we dive deep into a topic that's as fascinating as it is frightening: recognizing the signs you're dealing with an evil person. Whether it's a colleague, a friend, or even a family member, these individuals can be masters of deception, hiding their true nature behind charm and charisma.

Today we're not just exploring the dark side of human behavior out of curiosity. Understanding these signs can be life-changing. The Stoics believed in the power of perception and the importance of living a life guided by reason and virtue. By identifying and understanding these toxic traits, we can protect our peace of mind and cultivate healthier relationships, staying true to the Stoic principles of wisdom and self-control.

Stay with us as we uncover five telltale signs of an evil person. After watching this video, you'll be able to identify these behaviors and adopt strategies to protect your mental health. And if you appreciate what we're doing here, a simple free favor I'll ask from you is to hit the subscribe button and please don't skip any part of the video. You won't want to miss our special bonus section, where I'll share an effective strategy for setting firm boundaries with these individuals.

Let's embark on this journey of self-awareness and resilience together. When we talk about people who seem charming and charismatic at first, it's important to remember that appearances can be deceiving. These individuals often have a way of lighting up a room, making everyone around them feel special and valued. They know exactly what to say to make you feel like you've just made a new best friend.

At first glance, they seem like the perfect person: witty, engaging, and seemingly interested in your life. It's easy to get swept up in their charm, thinking you've found someone truly special. However, the Stoics teach us to look beyond the surface and seek the truth through rational thought and observation.

Over time, you might start to notice little cracks in their facade. Maybe they always need to be the center of attention, overshadowing others in social settings. They might talk over you, interrupt you, or even subtly put you down in front of others. These aren't just quirks or signs of an extroverted personality; they're red flags.

The Stoics would advise us to observe these behaviors with a clear mind unclouded by the initial excitement of their charisma. Imagine being at a party where this person is the life of the event, telling jokes and captivating the crowd. At first, it feels wonderful to be in their orbit, but as the evening progresses, you realize they're dominating every conversation, making everything about themselves.

When you try to share something about your life, they quickly redirect the topic back to them. This is where the Stoic principle of ataraxia, a state of being undisturbed by external things, comes in handy. By staying emotionally balanced, you can see through their charming act and recognize the self-centered nature underneath.

It's also crucial to pay attention to how they react when things don't go their way. A person who is genuinely kind and caring will handle disappointments and disagreements with grace and understanding. But someone who is merely playing a role to gain your trust might quickly become angry or defensive. They might lash out or try to manipulate the situation to regain control.

According to Stoic wisdom, such reactions are clear indicators of a lack of virtuous character. Marcus Aurelius reminds us to be wary of those who display signs of anger and manipulation, as these are not the traits of a rational and virtuous person.

The key here is to take your time and trust your instincts. The Stoics believed in the power of observation and the importance of not rushing to judgment based on first impressions. Epictetus taught that we should carefully evaluate the character of those we allow into our inner circle. So, if someone seems too good to be true, give yourself the space to observe their actions over time.

Notice how they treat others, especially when they think no one is watching. True character is revealed in how a person behaves when they aren't trying to impress anyone. Remember, not everyone who seems charming and charismatic has noble intentions; some people use their charm as a tool for manipulation.

By staying grounded and mindful, you can protect yourself from being taken in by a superficial facade. Stay true to the Stoic principles of wisdom and discernment, and you'll be better equipped to navigate these complex social interactions.

Another crucial sign to watch out for is a lack of empathy. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It's what allows us to connect deeply with those around us, to offer support when it's needed, and to create meaningful relationships. However, there are individuals out there who seem to completely lack this essential human trait. They care nothing about how their actions or words affect others, which can be devastating.

The Stoics believed in the importance of compassion and understanding as fundamental virtues. Marcus Aurelius frequently spoke about humanity's interconnectedness and the need to consider the well-being of others as part of our own well-being. So, when we encounter someone who shows a blatant disregard for the feelings of others, it's a serious red flag.

Imagine you're sharing something deeply personal with a friend, hoping for some comfort or understanding. Instead of showing any genuine concern, they brush off your feelings or even mock your vulnerability. This lack of empathy can make you feel isolated and misunderstood. In addition to not supporting you in hard times, they don't share in your joy or celebrate your successes.

A person who lacks empathy won't cheer for your achievements. They might even undermine them or take credit for themselves. This behavior is not just limited to personal relationships. Consider a boss who pushes their employees to the brink, showing no concern for their well-being. They may insist on long hours without providing fair compensation, disregard requests for time off, or publicly criticize employees in a manner that aims to humiliate rather than provide constructive guidance.

This creates a toxic work environment where people feel undervalued and stressed. The Stoics would advise us to maintain our inner peace and integrity in such situations, recognizing that the lack of empathy in others is a reflection of their character, not ours.

Furthermore, a lack of empathy can lead to more sinister behaviors. People who cannot empathize with others may engage in actions that are outright cruel or without any sense of guilt or remorse. They might lie, cheat, or even inflict physical harm without a second thought about the pain they're causing. The Stoic philosopher Seneca emphasized the importance of kindness and justice, teaching that our actions should always reflect our inner virtue. When someone lacks empathy, they're fundamentally disconnected from these values.

A lack of empathy is also evident in smaller, everyday interactions. For example, you might notice that someone constantly interrupts conversations to talk about themselves, shows little interest in what others have to say, or fails to offer help when it's clearly needed. These might seem like minor annoyances at first, but they add up to a pattern of behavior that reveals a deeper issue.

The Stoics would remind us to be observant and discerning, understanding that these small signs are indicative of a person's true character. If you find yourself dealing with someone who consistently lacks empathy, it's important to set boundaries to protect your own mental and emotional health. The Stoics believed in the importance of maintaining our own well-being and not allowing the negativity of others to disturb our peace.

You have the right to distance yourself from those who drain your energy and bring you down. Manipulation is another major sign of an evil person. Manipulation is when someone uses deceitful or cunning tactics to control or influence others in order to get what they want. It's a subtle, often insidious behavior that can be incredibly damaging to those on the receiving end.

Manipulators are skilled at twisting situations, making you question your reality and bending your will to suit their needs. This can leave you feeling confused, powerless, and unsure of your own judgments. Let's think about manipulation from a Stoic perspective. The Stoics valued clarity of thought and the ability to see things as they truly are. They taught that our perceptions should be grounded in reality and that we should remain steadfast in our principles, no matter the external pressures.

When someone manipulates you, they are attempting to cloud your perception and distort reality, making it difficult for you to stay true to these Stoic ideals. A common form of manipulation is gaslighting, where the manipulator tries to make you doubt your own memory, perception, or sanity. They might deny that certain events happened, or they might twist your words and actions to make you feel at fault.

For example, let's say you confront a friend about something hurtful they said. Instead of acknowledging it, they might turn the tables, accusing you of being overly sensitive or misremembering the situation. You may lose confidence and become dependent on the manipulators' reality.

Manipulators are also adept at playing the victim. They might guilt trip you into doing things you don't want to do because they make you feel responsible for their happiness or well-being. A friend may complain about their problems and expect you to drop everything to help them, but they never help you. Instead, they might say things like, "If you were really my friend, you'd do this for me," making you feel obligated to comply.

The Stoics, especially Epictetus, emphasize the importance of understanding what is within our control and what is not. We cannot control others' actions or emotions, only our responses to them. Consider how a manipulator might use flattery or charm to get their way. At first, this can feel great. They might shower you with compliments and make you feel special.

But over time, you might notice that their praise comes with strings attached. They might compliment you when they want something from you or when they need you to do something for them. This can make you feel like you owe them something or that you need to live up to their expectations in order to maintain their approval. The Stoics would remind us that true virtue and self-worth come from within, not from the fleeting approval of others.

Manipulation can also be a form of isolation. A manipulative person might try to cut you off from your friends and family, making you more dependent on them. They might say things like, "Your friends don't really care about you," or "Your family doesn't understand you like I do." This strategy makes you more dependent on them for support and validation, making it easier to control you.

The Stoics believed in maintaining strong, supportive relationships with others, recognizing that we are social beings who thrive in community. Isolation goes against these principles, as it weakens our support network and makes us more vulnerable to manipulation.

Financial manipulation is another tactic used by evil people. They might borrow money and never repay it, or they might control your finances to limit your independence. For instance, a partner might insist on managing all the money in the relationship, making you ask for permission to spend anything. This control over finances can make leaving the relationship or asserting your independence difficult.

The Stoics would encourage us to seek self-sufficiency and independence, ensuring that we are not unduly influenced or controlled by others. Seeing manipulation can be difficult, especially if you care about the person. The Stoics teach us to be vigilant and discerning, to see things clearly, and to act with integrity.

If you suspect someone is manipulating you, consider stepping back and assess the situation objectively. Do they consistently prioritize their own needs over yours? Do they make you feel guilty or unsure of yourself? Are they trying to control aspects of your life or isolate you from others?

It's important to set firm boundaries with manipulators and stand your ground. Communicate clearly and assertively about what you will and will not tolerate. Remember, you have the right to your own thoughts, feelings, and actions. The Stoics remind us that while we cannot control how others behave, we can control how we respond.

By maintaining our inner strength and clarity, we can protect ourselves from the harmful effects of manipulation and stay true to our values. Controlling behavior is one of the most obvious indicators of an evil person. This goes beyond mere preferences or quirks; it's about someone who seeks to dominate every aspect of your life, leaving little room for your own autonomy and decisions.

Controlling individuals often disguise their behavior as concern or care, but underneath, it's about power and control. The Stoics, who valued personal freedom and self-control, would see this behavior as fundamentally opposed to living a virtuous life.

Controlling behavior can manifest in many ways. For instance, you might have a friend who insists on always choosing where you go and what you do together. While it might seem harmless at first, over time, you start to realize that your preferences and opinions are consistently ignored or overwritten. They might say things like, "I know what's best for us," or "You'll have more fun if you just listen to me."

This isn't about mutual decision-making; it's about one person exerting their will over another. In relationships, controlling behavior can become even more dangerous. A partner may track you, demand updates, and set restrictions on who you see. They might look through your phone, check your messages, or insist on knowing all of your passwords.

This kind of surveillance and micromanagement can make you feel trapped and anxious, constantly walking on eggshells to avoid conflict. The Stoics, particularly Epictetus, emphasize the importance of maintaining your own inner freedom and autonomy, regardless of external pressures.

Control can also come in the form of financial manipulation. A controlling partner or family member might take charge of all financial decisions, do out money as they see fit, and keep you financially dependent on them. They might say, "I handle the money because you're not good with finances," or "It's easier if I just take care of everything." This can strip you of your financial independence and make it difficult to leave the relationship or assert your own choices.

The Stoics believed in self-sufficiency and managing your own resources wisely, viewing financial control as a form of enslavement that must be resisted. Another way controlling behavior manifests itself is through isolation. A controlling person might try to cut you off from friends and family, claiming that they are the only one who truly understands you or cares about you.

They might criticize your loved ones, saying things like, "Your friends don't really care about you," or "Your family is toxic." Over time, you might find yourself increasingly isolated, relying solely on the controlling person for support and companionship. The Stoics recognize the importance of community and supportive relationships, seeing isolation as detrimental to both personal growth and well-being.

Controlling individuals also often use threats and intimidation to maintain their power. They may threaten to hurt themselves or hurt you if you don't comply. This creates an environment of fear and anxiety, making it difficult to think clearly or make decisions that are best for you.

The Stoics, especially Seneca, taught that we should face our fears and not allow others to intimidate us into submission. True courage and wisdom lie in standing firm against such threats and reclaiming our own power.

It's important to understand that controlling behavior is about more than just wanting things done a certain way; it's about fundamentally undermining your ability to make your own choices and live your own life. The Stoics would advise us to recognize these behaviors for what they are: an attack on our autonomy and a violation of our personal freedom.

By staying true to our values and maintaining our inner strength, we can resist the influence of controlling individuals and reclaim our right to live freely. If you find yourself dealing with someone who exhibits controlling behavior, it's crucial to set firm boundaries and assert your independence.

Communicate clearly about your needs and limits, and don't be afraid to seek support from others who understand your situation. Remember, the Stoics teach us that we cannot control others, but we can control our own reactions and decisions. By staying grounded in our principles and valuing our autonomy, we can protect ourselves from the harmful effects of controlling behavior and live more authentic, fulfilling lives.

Pathological lying is another unmistakable sign of a bad person. This goes beyond the occasional white lie that most people tell. Pathological liars deceive constantly, often without any apparent reason. They fabricate stories, manipulate facts, and distort reality to suit their own needs or to gain an advantage over others.

This behavior can be incredibly damaging to relationships, eroding trust and creating a web of deceit that's difficult to untangle. The Stoics valued truth and integrity above all else. They believed that a virtuous life was grounded in honesty and that deceit was a fundamental betrayal of one's character.

Marcus Aurelius emphasized living in accordance with nature, which means aligning our actions with truth and reason. When someone lies pathologically, they are living in direct opposition to these principles, creating a false reality that benefits only themselves.

Pathological lying can take many forms. It might start with small, seemingly harmless lies, such as embellishing a story to make themselves look better or more interesting. Over time, these lies can escalate, covering up mistakes or wrongdoings, and manipulating others to achieve their goals.

A pathological liar might claim to have accomplished things they haven't, falsely take credit for others' work, or make up stories about their past to gain sympathy or admiration. This constant dishonesty creates a distorted view of reality, where you can never be sure what's true and what's fabricated.

Consider how a pathological liar might operate in a workplace. They might lie about their qualifications, exaggerate their contributions to projects, or spread false rumors about colleagues to sabotage them. This can create a toxic environment where trust is undermined and people are constantly on edge, unsure of who to believe.

The Stoics would advise us to remain steadfast in our own integrity, not allowing ourselves to be swayed by the deceitful actions of others. Epictetus taught that we should focus on what we can control: our own thoughts and actions—and not be disturbed by the dishonesty of those around us.

In personal relationships, pathological lying can be even more destructive. Imagine being in a relationship with someone who constantly lies about their whereabouts, their past, or their feelings. This behavior can make you feel insecure, anxious, and constantly question your own perceptions.

You might find yourself doubting your memory or second-guessing your instincts, which is exactly what the liar wants. They thrive on creating confusion and instability, keeping you off balance so they can maintain control. The Stoics would remind us to trust our own judgment and not be swayed by the manipulations of others.

Seneca taught that true peace comes from within, and we should not allow the deceit of others to disturb our inner tranquility. One of the most insidious aspects of pathological lying is that it's often difficult to detect at first. Pathological liars can be incredibly convincing, telling their lies with such confidence and detail that it's difficult not to believe them.

They might mix truth with lies, making it even more challenging to discern what's real. This is where the Stoic principle of vigilance comes into play. We must remain observant and critical, not taking things at face value, but instead seeking the truth through careful consideration and evidence.

When you catch someone in a lie, pay attention to how they react. Do they become defensive or aggressive? Are they trying to turn the tables and blame you, or do they offer a plausible explanation that appears to make sense, even if it's just another layer of deceit? A genuine person will admit to their mistakes and strive to correct them, while a pathological liar will double down on their falsehoods, weaving an even more intricate web of lies.

Stoics advise us to calmly and rationally recognize such behavior and not let it provoke us. It's also important to consider the long-term impact of pathological lying. Over time, it can erode the very foundation of trust that any relationship is built upon.

Once trust is broken, it's incredibly difficult to rebuild it. You might find yourself constantly suspicious, always wondering if you're being lied to again. This can lead to a toxic cycle of mistrust and resentment. The Stoics believed in the importance of building strong, honest relationships based on mutual respect and understanding.

When dealing with a pathological liar, you must decide whether it's worth trying to rebuild that trust or whether it's healthier to distance yourself from their toxic influence. If you find yourself entangled with a pathological liar, it's crucial to set firm boundaries and protect your own mental and emotional well-being.

The Stoics would advise us to remain true to our values and principles, not allowing ourselves to be dragged down by the deceit of others. Be clear about what you will and will not tolerate, and don't be afraid to walk away from a relationship or situation that is built on lies.

Remember, your peace of mind and integrity are more important than maintaining a connection with someone who consistently deceives you. Now, how can you protect yourself from these harmful behaviors while maintaining your peace and integrity? Setting boundaries is one of the most crucial skills you can develop when dealing with difficult or toxic people.

Definitions of what you will and will not accept in relationships are crucial for mental, emotional, and physical health. The Stoics, who emphasize the importance of personal integrity and inner peace, would see boundary setting as a fundamental practice for maintaining a virtuous and tranquil life.

First and foremost, it's important to recognize that setting boundaries is not about being harsh or unkind; it's about respecting yourself and ensuring that others also respect you. The Stoics believed in the importance of self-respect and living in harmony with our true nature. By setting clear boundaries, you're not only protecting yourself but also fostering healthier interactions with others.

When it comes to setting boundaries, clarity is key. You need to be specific about the behaviors you will not tolerate and communicate them clearly and assertively. For example, if you have a friend who frequently belittles you or puts you down, you might say, "I appreciate our friendship, but I won't tolerate being spoken to in a disrespectful manner. If this continues, I will have to distance myself."

This approach is direct and leaves no room for misinterpretation. According to Stoic principles, this kind of clear communication helps maintain order and respect in relationships. Another important aspect of setting boundaries is consistency. It's not enough to state your boundaries once and expect others to adhere to them without reminders.

You must consistently enforce your boundaries, even when it's uncomfortable or difficult. The Stoics, particularly Epictetus, emphasize the importance of discipline and perseverance. By consistently upholding your boundaries, you demonstrate self-respect and teach others how to treat you.

Recurring boundary violations indicate that someone doesn't respect you or your limits, so the relationship may need to be examined. It's also important to remember that setting boundaries is not a one-time event but an ongoing process. As relationships evolve, your boundaries may need to be adjusted.

For instance, in a work environment, you might need to set boundaries around your availability and workload to prevent burnout. You could say to a colleague or supervisor, "I am happy to help with this project, but I cannot take on additional tasks beyond my current responsibilities."

The Stoics would advise us to balance our duties and not overextend ourselves to the detriment of our well-being. One of the most challenging aspects of setting boundaries is dealing with the pushback or resistance you might encounter. People who are used to getting their way, especially manipulators, may not like your growing assertiveness.

They may react with anger, guilt trips, or even attempts to undermine your confidence. The Stoics teach us to remain calm and steadfast in the face of such challenges. Marcus Aurelius wrote about the importance of maintaining our composure and not being swayed by the negative emotions of others.

When you encounter resistance, stay firm and remind yourself that your boundaries are necessary for your well-being. In some cases, setting boundaries might mean making difficult decisions, such as distancing yourself from certain individuals or even ending relationships that are toxic or harmful.

This can be a painful process, but it's essential for preserving your mental and emotional health. The Stoics would remind us that our primary responsibility is for our own virtue and well-being. Seneca often spoke about the importance of choosing our associations wisely, recognizing that the company we keep can significantly impact our character and happiness.

By distancing yourself from those who consistently violate your boundaries, you are making a powerful statement about your self-worth and commitment to living a virtuous life. It's also helpful to seek support from others when setting boundaries.

This could mean talking to trusted friends, family members, or a therapist about your experiences and getting their input and encouragement. Sharing your struggles and successes with boundary setting can provide you with valuable perspective and strengthen your resolve. The Stoics valued community and the support of like-minded individuals.

Marcus Aurelius often reflected on the interconnectedness of humanity and the importance of mutual support. Utilizing your support network can help you maintain your boundaries and well-being. In addition, practicing self-care is crucial when setting and maintaining boundaries.

This includes taking time for yourself, engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, and nurturing your physical and mental health. The Stoics believed in the importance of self-care as a foundation for a virtuous life. Epictetus advised us to take care of ourselves so we can serve others and accomplish our duties.

By prioritizing self-care, you reinforce the message that your well-being is important and deserving of protection. Remember that setting boundaries is a form of self-respect and self-love. It's about recognizing your own value and refusing to allow others to diminish it.

The Stoics teach us that our worth is not determined by external factors but by our own actions and integrity. You are living in accordance with these principles by setting and maintaining boundaries, fostering a life of peace, virtue, and resilience. Remember, your peace and integrity are worth protecting, no matter who tries to undermine them.

Setting boundaries is not just a defense mechanism; it's a declaration of your self-worth and commitment to living a virtuous life. Thank you for joining me today and contributing to Stoicism insights. If you found this helpful, make sure to check out one of the suggested videos on the screen for more insights.

Stay strong, stay wise, and keep living your truth. [Music]