Weight Loss: Simple Science Until Our Emotions Intrude | | Big Think

People always want to sell something when it comes to weight loss and health, right? So they reinvent the wheel for that reason. I'm sure you've seen a variety of fad diets, whether it's, "Oh, you know, right now we're going vegan," "Wait, no, we're going paleo," "Wait, no, it's thirty-thirty-forty equal portions of everything," "Wait a second, we can do everything but eat beans." It just, it always, it goes on and on and on.

The reality is that weight loss, weight maintenance, is simple science: it's eat less, move more. The food that you consume has calories, and calories are units of energy. Energy that does not get burned gets stored as fat; fat is stored energy. Then, obviously, use common sense with your food choices. We all know not to eat things in our food that is not food: fake fat, fake flavor, fake sugar, and so on.

So in reality, if it is this simple being healthy, why do so many struggle with it? That's because people utilize food for a variety of emotional reasons, whether it's a coping mechanism, or whether it's affording them a deeper connection with another individual in their lives. That’s what we have to get to the bottom of.

I remember somebody once said to me, "People are fat because they want to be fat." I remember going, "What an a-hole you are!" And the more I thought about it, the more I realized it was true. The more I began to work with people who were overweight, the more I began to see what it meant to them. It could have been a connection with the parents; it could have been a connection to grieving the loss of somebody, and feeling like if you stop eating like this, you've moved on with your life, and you're no longer connected to them.

It could be a sense of control. It could be a defense mechanism against being vulnerable and getting hurt in relationships. But that is one of the reasons that losing weight or getting healthy is so difficult, because it requires us to give up something that has been providing comfort and a defense against hurt for a very long time. It's not because people are weak, or stupid, or lazy, or genetically fat.

It's funny, I ask people a lot of times, right? And if I was to ask you right now, "Why is it that you want to be healthy?" I would always ask contestants on The Biggest Loser, first day, right? They would show up, and they would get on the scale, 'cause they would get on the scale before they ever had their first workout. They would be like, "I'm changing my life! I'm never gonna see this number again! I'm changing the world! I'm changing my neighborhood, my school, my family, my partner," and so on and so forth, right?

Five minutes into the first workout, they're rolling on the floor, they're crawling for the door, they're crying, they're throwing up. In that moment, I was like, "Okay, so now why did you come here? Why did you want to come to this place?" This place is not easy; being healthy is hard work. What is it? And they would say, "Well, I want, I just want to be healthy." I would go, "Great! What does that mean to you?"

And then I would get like the Scooby Doo: "It was work!" People don't think about it. They really don't know. If I was to ask you right now, "What does health look like in your life?" What's your answer? Is it, "I want to wear a two-piece instead of a one-piece this spring break because I'm 22?" Or is it, "I want to see my grandchildren graduate from college because I'm 62?" Or is it, "You know what? I want to have sex with the lights on," which by the way, I think is tremendously overrated, but nevertheless, it's not dark all the time.

Whatever your motivation is, that's what's critical. It could be that you're a new mom; it could be that you want to wear skinny jeans; it could be that you want to run a marathon. You need to think about what ways health will improve the quality of your life.

Because I'm gonna tell you right now that getting healthy usually is dis-pleasurable. Most of us would rather be watching our favorite TV show than sweating it out at the gym. Most of us— not all, but most— would prefer pizza to grilled salmon. So in order for these behaviors in the moment that are less than pleasurable to become manageable, you've got to have perspective and a long-term goal that's worth it.

We call that finding your why. There's a great quote, if you have a why to live for, you can tolerate the how. And the how is the work and the sacrifice associated with the goal. So this is where you need to ask yourself some really powerful questions of what is it that I want for myself in detail? What do I want for my future? How do I see this improving the quality of my life?

You might find in the beginning you draw a complete blank, and the reason for this is because so many of us live in the way that we think we should that we've forgotten what it is we really want. So I have an exercise for you. I want you for the next two weeks to set your alarm on the hour every hour, waking hours only— I'm not a complete monster— and when it goes off, I want you to ask yourself what you're doing right now in the moment, and then subsequently how does it make you feel.

By teaching yourself to become present, you're better able to start identifying the things that you do want, that you are passionate about, and that will help you start to cultivate your why.