Networking for the networking averse - Lisa Green Chau

Transcriber: Andrea McDonough
Reviewer: Bedirhan Cinar

It's that time again. You need another internship to bolster your college applications. Last year you worked at a local art museum, helping organize their collection and giving tours to visitors. This year, it's going to be much more difficult. You want to work on an organic farm across the country in California. That's your real passion.

Unfortunately, your friends' list of contacts doesn't include organic farmers. The same for your parents' group of friends. They want to help you, but they simply don't know of any internships in agriculture. The school counselor, she just laughed.

To make your farming dreams come true, you're going to have to press beyond your strong ties, people like your family and closest friends, and try tapping into your weaker ties. Weak ties are a broader network, your friends of friends of friends. They're important because they have access to resources that your strong ties don't have.

This works in both directions, by the way - you have access to resources that they don't have. Let's say most people speak to three close friends on a regular basis. Each time you reach beyond the next degree of contacts, you have access to three more people, like a tree that branches out three times per node, so you can look beyond your closest circles.

During the last family get-together, didn't you hear that your aunt's friend studied lighting with a nature photographer on the West Coast? In fact, you recall this because you saw a recent image by said photographer on the front cover of The New York Times. So, you email him and learn that the photographer's wife's cousin publishes a sustainability magazine, which employs a staff writer who pitches on a local baseball team with an umpire who, wait for it, is an organic farmer. Bingo!

Get ready to trade in those cuff links for some apple seeds, all because you reached out to your weak ties. That's your key, remember? Every conversation is an opportunity. Moreover, don't wait for opportunity, make it happen.

Take Kathryn Minshew for example. She went from not knowing anyone at Yahoo to three warm introductions to major executives in 30 days. Here are her suggestions for three steps to networking.

1 - Always say yes to invitations, even if it's not clear what you'll get out of the meeting. Many of Kathryn's most productive relationships resulted from a meeting or call without a clear agenda.

2 - When you want something, broadcast it to everyone you meet. That doesn't mean you beg everyone for help as soon as you meet them, but talk about what you're trying to do. Be excited, ask for feedback, and try to get them excited too.

3 - Show up and often. Be at the forefront of other's minds when opportunities arise. You don't want to be that person who only shows up when he needs something. Be the one that people think of and want to reach out to when a new opportunity presents itself.

So while networking may not be the most intuitive, or even for some of you introverts, the most comfortable skill, it's a helpful tool to have as you think about getting a job, going to school, or most importantly, learning from others. Good luck!