Why Ellen May Never Be on Shark Tank!

All right, who here watches Shark Tank? Do you like that show? Shark Tank? I love that show! I love that show! It's on tonight, and if you haven't seen it, it's where inventors pitch their products to investors.

A few weeks ago, they asked me to be a guest shark, and here's what happened next.

"Into the tank is Roger Sullivan with an eye-opening new product."

"My name is Roger Sullivan. My company is Wired Waffles. Basically, we've taken an energy drink and we put it into a waffle. Think about it. People walk into a convenience store and they grab an energy drink or a shot for their energy, but they still need a snack to satisfy their hunger. The Wired Waffle does both. I brought some samples for you guys to try. Sir, there you go! So who wants to shake on a deal and make some money?"

"Along these last in my car, it lasts for 30 days on the shelf. How much caffeine is in this? Is this like making 5 cups?"

"It's about a 20-ounce premium cup of coffee, but it's really like four or five cups of coffee, isn't that right, Dr. Greene?"

"It's about me!"

"So if I ate two of these, what would happen?"

"I'll tell you what would happen is you'd be excited! It's what you'd be! Your big toe? Fly? You can fly, right? Right, huh? You'd just be excited, like how you hearty. If you have one bite, that's a lot of caffeine, and it's sweet, so kids are gonna get their hands on it, and I think that's very problematic."

"We have a best waffles I've ever had!"

"I usually cannot believe the taste sensation that is happening right now, not only in my mouth but in my entire body. I feel like I can taste things, like my fear."

"Excited? No, man, it's good! I just think it's a bit of a life record."

"Final question, I'm thinking about giving you the money because it gave us the energy. I have a question. Each waffle, how much is each waffle to buy? How much is it? Ten pack or like a 20 pack for like a hundred? Like having it?"

"How many? How much is a hundred of them?"

"About a thousand dollars. I don't really know people to eat cold waffles!"

"I love cold waffles! There's my offer: absolutely 1 million dollars for two hundred percent of your company!"

"Oh really? I didn't get him to take my offer, but I did bench press Mark Cuban eight times. Oh, that was fun!"

"We'll be right back."