15 Things to Avoid During the Holidays

Hey there, relaxer. Wherever you're watching this, you know, you're probably celebrating some sort of holiday, whether you're religious or not. It's still a time when the year comes to an end. It's a closing chapter for most people around the world. A time of reflections, connections and protecting your peace. And to do that today, we're bringing you 15 things to avoid during the holidays. Welcome to LAX.

First up, toxic friends and family members. This is the time when the friend miss celebrations will throw you into the lion's den with that friend you haven't spoken to very much this year. It's the time when you have to face that uncle, sibling or grandparent who's never seemed to get you. If it's too much for you and causes you too much anxiety or stress, well, that's your sign to avoid them. You don't have to be there just because you've always been there. If there is a chance for you to be there but avoid them, then do that if you can. But don't force an uncomfortable situation onto yourself. It's been a long year. You don't have to feel guilty for protecting your peace.

Overspending on gifts. Well, avoid overspending on anything really, but especially gifts. Consumerism and consumption is at an all-time high, and nobody really needs more than one gift. One of the biggest stressors during the holiday is finances. It can induce major anxiety. And why? For a gift that someone might forget about a month from now. It's just unnecessary. Keep the gifts small and reasonable. If you want to go extravagant, make sure you've got the means to do it, but also make it meaningful to that person. At the end of the day, monetary value really has nothing to do with how meaningful it is.

Overcrowded malls. Overcrowded malls should be avoided at all costs. Malls have been sold to us as this wonderful all-in-one experience. The reality is it's a hot mess most of the time, especially during the holidays. If you've got children, this is the last place you want to be. It's a place full of stressed people rushing around and bright lights and loud noises that activate a sensory overload. Go to smaller local shops if you can because spending your money there makes a really big difference.

Volunteering to make most of the food. Volunteering to help out in this way might seem like a good idea when everyone's arguing about who should do what and nobody wants to take responsibility. But the stress and cost that comes with managing all the food for your family can affect your entire holiday. This is a time for lots of dinners, lunches, and nightcaps. It's rarely just one big event. Offer to make a few dishes, but avoid taking on the full responsibility for the entire thing. If your family's large enough, you can spread out the work across multiple people.

Totally isolating yourself from all of the holiday events might seem like too much for you. They can be overwhelming, and your natural reaction might be to want to hide under your pillow and avoid everything. While going to everything isn't great and can be exhausting, totally isolating yourself isn't great either. Humans are social creatures. We thrive with connection. If big groups aren't your thing, at least try to make one-on-one plans with friends or family members that you're close to.

Crime-ridden areas. You're definitely going to want to avoid crime-ridden areas, which obviously you want to do anyway, right? But this is especially important during the holidays. Crime rates skyrocket around this time of year. Unfortunately, many people are more desperate, and they know there is a little more money going around. So there's an uptick in muggings and robberies. Be extra vigilant, responsible, and stay safe.

Constant parties and events. On the flip side of totally isolating yourself is saying yes to every event. This might be fun throughout the rest of the year, but there's so much going on over the holidays that attending everything will deplete your budget and energy quicker than you can say Happy New Year. Schedule breaks for yourself in between those times. Give yourself and your wallet some time to recuperate.

Last minute work meetings. The last minute work meetings are gonna come up, so avoid them as much as you can. In the past, we would end emails and meetings with a nice, "We'll circle back to this in the New Year." But after remote work showed the bosses that we could be constantly online, people seem to want answers and meetings even after you're supposed to be on holiday. This is your break. If you've got time off, take the time off. Put that out-of-office message on and take this time to enjoy yourself and relax.

Overeating or restrictive eating? Eating good food is such an integral part of holiday celebrations, like all of them. It should be something that we enjoy, something we can regulate without thinking too much about. And yet, unfortunately for so many people, this is an area they struggle with. The abundance of food can lead to overeating and overthinking, but we can get to a place where we trust ourselves and our bodies to know when we've had too much and to balance that out in the following days. If restrictive eating has been a problem in the past, quietly let those voices rest so you can enjoy yourself without thinking about every little bite.

Arguing with family. Avoiding this one can be a lot easier said than done with some families. You know your family members well enough by now, and you know the same arguments come up again. So what's the point? They're not going to change; you're not going to change. The constant bickering and arguing is draining, especially if you're only spending a few days with them. Stand up for yourself. Make your boundaries and limits clear, but then don't continue engaging with people who are going to push past them. Instead, remove yourself from the situation and find something peaceful to do.

Don't give them the satisfaction of engaging. Too much alcohol. Alcohol heightens those feelings of frustration and anger. If you're around people that you usually avoid, you tend to forget promises you made to yourself and other people. Overall, the person who gets too trashed ends up ruining the time for everyone else, and you definitely don't want to be that person. It's not fair, and it's an unnecessarily messy way to end and start a year.

Trying to please everyone. You might think this is the easiest way to keep the peace between everyone, but often what ends up happening is that some people take advantage of your kindness. Others become very critical of the things you're doing while going the extra mile. You become resentful of taking on more mental load than everyone else. Help out where you can, but if it's too much for you, don't do it. There's no reason for you to be the one making all of the sacrifices for everyone else.

Insensitivity to those who've lost loved ones. Whether it was ten or 20 years ago, whether they lived until a ripe old age or were gone far too soon, the holidays are an extremely difficult time for anyone who's lost family members. It's a reminder that they're not here—a reminder they're not able to share these moments and make new memories. There's no time limit on grief, and it's not linear. It's not something you get over, so be kind to those having a difficult time. You've got no idea how much it's taking for them to put a smile on their face while they're struggling.

Being overly critical. People are going to ask you for all kinds of opinions on the food they cooked, the clothes they got. They're going to ask you if you liked the gift they bought you, whether you like it or not. There's no need to be overly critical. If constructive criticism would be helpful, deliver it gently. Otherwise, suck it up and be kind. It's sensitive for many people, and there's no need to make them feel worse about anything. Don't be that person who disguises rudeness as honesty.

Lecturing without listening. You're probably going to get into or at least overhear some heated conversations. There's a lot going on in the world right now. It's natural to want to shout about all the injustices from the rooftop, but this does not sway opinion. In fact, people become more defensive. If you're going to lecture, make sure you listen, ask questions, and get to the root of their opinions.

You know, holidays can be a great time, or it can be sad and stressful. And it doesn't matter who you are and how little you have. You'll still be hit with those highs and lows where you can guard yourself. Your highs last longer, and your lows don't ruin your time. In the meantime, tell us, my friend. What are some things that you avoid during the holidays to limit your stress, anger, or anxiety? Let us know in the comments and share with the community.

Until next time, my friend. Take care.