15 Life Traps That Keep You Stuck
Life is full of traps, some more obvious than others, and when people find themselves stuck, it's usually because they fell into a trap they didn't even see coming. So you need to be smart about it. Here are 15 traps that keep you stuck in life. Welcome to Alux.
Number one: Comparison. One of the biggest social traps that people fall into is the trap of comparison. We're constantly bombarded with images and messages of success and perfection, and it's easy to compare ourselves to others and feel inadequate. A study published in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology in 2019 found that social media use is associated with increased levels of anxiety, depression, and loneliness among Millennials. The study's authors suggest that social media use may exacerbate existing mental health issues or lead to the development of new ones by increasing feelings of social isolation and self-doubt. They also suggest that constant comparison and pressure to present a perfect image on social media may contribute to these negative effects. But here's the thing: everyone's journey is different, and it's not fair to compare your beginning to someone else's middle or end.
Number two: Perfectionism. Another trap that people fall into is the trap of perfectionism. We want everything in our lives to be perfect, and when it's not, we beat ourselves up. But the truth is, life is messy, and things will never be perfect. So how can you break free from this trap? Well, the key is to let go of the idea of perfection and focus on progress. We've got this saying here that goes, "done is always better than perfect." The quest of searching for perfect, although it might seem heroic, never ends. And while you're busy doing one thing perfectly, others are doing ten things good enough.
Number three: Fear. The trap of fear is one of the most powerful emotions we experience, and it can hold us back from taking action and achieving our goals. But the thing is, fear is only a feeling, and it doesn't have to control us. Actually, this is something we focused on a lot on the Alux app in our daily sessions—understanding and navigating the various fears we all face in life. Go to alux.com/app to get yourself started on there today. Now, when it comes to fear, there's only one quote about it that we actually agree with: "Courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability to act in the presence of it." You will never be fearless; at best, you'll be ignorant of the potential downsides. Look at fear as the cold you feel when you first enter the ocean's water. It's a little bit unpleasant, and you don't want to be there, but you get used to it.
Number four: Procrastination. Procrastination is another trap that can hold us back from achieving our goals. We put things off until later, and before we know it, we've lost valuable time. So how can we break free from this trap? We've got plenty of videos on our channel where we talk about procrastination. We talk about it on the app too, but in essence, procrastination is a signal your body sends you when it overestimates the amount of work in front of you. So, if you want to conquer it, you need to find ways to make that work feel less overwhelming. We suggest checking out our videos on the topic.
Number five: Negative self-talk. Negative self-talk is almost a trend nowadays. People boast about it on TikTok. Millennials have a way of using humor to deal with their problems, and it might work sometimes, but look, don't rely on this. Negative self-talk can mess you up pretty badly. It can make you feel like less than who you are, and it's one of those limiting beliefs that can screw your progress in life. Be your own best friend. There's absolutely no benefit in putting yourself down every day.
Number six: FOMO. Usually, in life, if most people go in a particular direction, it's best to switch course. The fear of missing out, or FOMO, is the fear that you'll be left behind if you don't do what everyone else is doing. You will miss something important, a once-in-a-lifetime event. But in 99% of situations, that is never the case. Leaning into FOMO makes you agitated and, with no direction, you pretty much become a sheep in the herd with no thoughts of your own. So when you see yourself feeling an uncontrollable desire to do what everyone else is doing, take a step back and check yourself.
Number seven: Overthinking. Overthinking is a trap that can lead to analysis paralysis and prevents you from taking action. You end up like a deer in the headlights, not knowing if you should go left or right, and you end up getting hit by the car. The world is shaped by people who take massive amounts of action, not by those who overthink everything. That's because action creates data that can be analyzed and learned from. Overthinking is capped; once you get to an educated guess, there's really no point in turning the problem on every side. Overthinking ironically leads to poor decision-making.
Number eight: Failure. Now, failure can mean different things to different people, but we all fear it in some way, shape, or form. Nobody wants to fail, but from this point forward, things get more interesting. It's being constantly said that you should never fear failure because it's a natural part of the process. But look, okay, let's be honest: whoever in the history of humankind ever justified it like that? We came to the conclusion that you should always have a fear of failure, but with a caveat. Let us explain: for some, the fear of failure is stronger than their confidence in themselves. It cripples them into taking no kind of action. But you see, this is not a fear problem; it's a confidence problem. A healthy dose of fear of failure is always a good thing. If you jump out of a plane, the fear of failure is going to make you triple-check your parachute, which is good. If you start a business, the fear of failure will make you plan for the scenario where things don’t work out, which is good too. In every scenario you can think of, the fear of failure is good, but it's extremely important to have more confidence than you have fear. You need a balance of both.
Number nine: Seeking validation. Nobody cares about you the way you should care about yourself. The only validation you need is from yesterday you. It's your own life; you play your own game. You are the main character in your own movie. Now just a quick note on the "your own movie" part: you shouldn't force your way into becoming the main character in someone else's movie. But back to the point—seeking external validation is a sign that you don't hold your own opinion very highly. You need to have more respect for yourself and trust yourself more.
Number ten: Fear of change. Sticking to familiar patterns is what kept us alive thousands of years ago. It's so ingrained into our DNA to follow the safe and familiar path. People would go out of their way to keep things the same rather than to change. But the world is changing, and it doesn't care about how you feel about it. You can complain about it all you want; you can keep telling yourself that the good old days were better, and you will become a relic of the past in the process. Those good old days you're referencing? They're gone, long gone. Now you can make the new days happen, or you could stay stuck in the past.
And speaking of number eleven: your past. Hanging on too tightly to your past is one of the most common traps that keep people stuck. People take a snapshot of one intensive moment from their past and carry it around with them everywhere they go. It doesn't matter if that moment was good or bad. You're not the same person as you were five years ago. If you were a failure five years ago, that doesn't make you a failure now. And also, if you were a success story five years ago, same thing; it doesn't make you a success now. Toss away all of those snapshots you keep with you and make new ones. Who are you now? What do you do? What kind of person are you trying to become? These are the important things to figure out.
Number twelve: Holding grudges. Life is too short to hold grudges. You can't have people living rent-free in your head. The only thing that holding grudges does is consume you from the inside out until you let it go.
Number thirteen: Comfort is good; too much comfort is not. That's why even those who become financially free still look for some kind of challenge to overcome. Despite what you see on Instagram, you need something to strive for, and it needs to be just a bit outside of your reach to make you move your ass. You need to stay active, curious, and educated. When you get used to being too comfortable, you'll find it really hard to do anything that requires minimal effort.
Number fourteen: Mistrust. When you believe everyone will lie to you, eventually you start avoiding other people. You expect them to betray you; it's only a matter of time. And the worst thing you can think of is someone mistreating you. But this is a trap you fall into after a couple of bad experiences. You can't act like this forever with everyone; that's not how people are, generally only how you perceive them. Think about this the next time you ever see the popular "trust no one" quote; it's bullshit.
Number fifteen: Dependency. This may be a bit of a generational thing, but statistically, this generation of 30-year-olds is the most dependent in history. They leave their home later, they need constant help, and they can't seem to figure it out on their own. And yes, we get it, okay? Bad economic conditions make everything harder, but it also creates a sense of dependency on other people where you feel like it's impossible for you alone to handle your own shit. But when you're in this position, it's impossible for your true potential to ever come out. And if it feels like this for you, this might be something worth diving into more.
And lastly, as a bonus for sticking with us until the end: Bias. The standards you hold yourself to are extremely high, and they usually revolve around money, status, and power. Even more so, you're willing to sacrifice health, your well-being, and your relationships. And on top of this, you project these standards onto other people and believe that those who are not interested in status the same way you are make them lesser, like they haven't really realized what's important in life. People who work really hard on their success usually fall into this trap. They sacrifice a lot; they are unhappy. They see other people who are happy, and they get upset, so they need to find a way to justify it. But in reality, Aluxer, you play your own game while others play theirs. Just because you found some kind of purpose in a particular thing doesn't mean that all must agree with you. If this is you and you find yourself in this trap, you need to find a balance, okay? Or else you'll end up equal parts successful and miserable.
And hey, Aluxers, that's it for today! We hope you found this video valuable. We'll see you back here again tomorrow.