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Golf Course Camping | Dirty Rotten Survival


2m read
·Nov 11, 2024

As the boy's head deeper into suburbia, Johnny needs to find a legal place to make camp before it gets too late. What is this? We think it is... it's a golf course. What's your stay here? Obviously, this woods is owned by the golf course.

"Look, a fire! Get us permission."

"I'll be right back."

"Get us permission, mate."

"Well, let's, uh, feed that coal a little bit. Way for him to get back. What do you start? Another fire?"

After the earlier run-in with the police, Johnny wants to obtain ironclad permission for the guys to set up camp, so he's headed to the golf course clubhouse.

"Hey! Hi! Can talk."

"Johnny Perry. Little Johnny made it all the way here with November. Now we got a fire, and I could put the insurance policy out and save it for another time. You're gonna think I'm crazy."

"All right, could we possibly just camp out on the outskirts of the course?"

"Can you say that again?"

"Handout? We've got fires in the wood at a golf course. Got this glass bottle full of skanky water. But we're in a pretty good position now; we got a fire going. Now it's time to look at other survival priorities, and boiling water is number one."

"I'm gonna have to ease it into the fire a little at a time because if I overheat it too fast, Donald's gonna break. Gonna be no good."

"We were at the mall, and we did some dumpster diving, and we gathered our soap. Smell dead? That smell, yeah. Is it that bad?"

"All right, water's boiling. We're good to go. Now we're just wasting water; we got to get it off the fire. Can't touch it, obviously, so the way we're gonna do that is with the toggle."

"A toggle? It's just something that we're gonna put on the end of a string that we're gonna drop down inside that's wider than the mouth of the bottle and lift it out. We're really clean, really normal."

"I know this sounds crazy, but when normal... and that's not a little crazy. But I don't see how that's a problem, so that's a yes."

"It's a yes, Harry. Thank you very much."

"Good luck then," contemplated many boys.

"What the hell are you guys doing? Keeping the fire going? Why did you do that with my way? Whispering. I have no idea."

"Well, we got permission to camp here. Can we have a fire? Full stop?"

"Yes, right, ok. So the fire's okay. I'm gonna put my new suit on."

"Oh my God! Hey, you know if it doesn't fit you, I'm a little bit smaller than... you know what? You look like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man."

"I smell better. Outfits? It doesn't smell good."

"Well, you did give him also, thank you. Smell up? Yummy! I'm so proud. It smells like... is this coming from experience?"

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