Shower Thoughts To Keep You Up All Night #Marathon

So here are shower thoughts that everyone asked or... right? Well, at least some people asked for it. But you know what? No one has probably ever asked, "Where are you?" in sign language before. Actually, the phrase "Where are you?" was probably rarely used until relatively recently. You couldn't really talk to someone unless you were in the same vicinity as them. But wait, don't get too close! Six feet, remember?

We wash our clothes pretty often; usually only wear things a few times before we throw them in the wash and get them cleaned up. But you know how often we sit on couches and furniture and touch other things that we just never wash? On a similar note, isn't it crazy how we essentially had to have a global pandemic that affected millions of people with a never-before-seen disease just to get everyone to start washing their hands? To grasp the most basic form of hygiene there is? If washing your hands is a new thing to you, then how disgusting has the rest of the world been before this?

I miss going out to restaurants, but then I realized the utensils we use have been in the mouths of thousands of other people. And now realizing that so many people weren't washing their hands? I don't know if I miss it anymore. Coronavirus has really changed the world if you think about it. Since we're all wearing masks, we're all probably yawning a lot less since we can't see other people yawning. Actually, a lot less people are probably wearing lipstick too, huh?

But the idea of makeup made me think: when an identical twin gets plastic surgery, does the other twin get offended? They're kind of saying, "You're ugly." They might even get pretty sad. But I just tell them, "Go to bed; you'll feel better in the morning." That's basically the human version of "Did you turn it off and back on again," right? Honestly, I just tell them that because when people get sad around me, I don't really know what to do. It's awkward.

And speaking of awkward situations, why is it so awkward walking back after you bowl? Just watch. Oh yeah, these are shower thoughts. I actually just bought a cat like last week. This is him! But while I was thinking of names, I realized that since we name our pets, your pet may have named you too. Actually, the fearful animal or whatever makes a specific noise whenever you come around them. That's pretty much naming you, right?

Your senses are kind of crazy. Your eyes can detect nuclear fusion happening trillions of miles away. We can detect the air pressure changes caused by a paper clip hitting the floor from across the room. And my nose can detect the smallest cat hairs making me sneeze all day long. But you know, it's fine; I'll just think about something else and move on with my day. But I was wondering, can you really think of nothing? Like, actually sit there and try to think of nothing? Thinking of an empty black room? Well, that's still something. You usually can close your eyes and see nothing, but you're actually just looking at the back of your eyelids, and that's still something.

So how do you think of something that by definition is the lack of anything? How can you mentally grasp the idea of nothing? Space, though, is full of mostly nothing. And since we're talking about space, the International Space Station is about 220 miles above the surface of the Earth. But isn't the Earth itself an International Space Station? Or a universal space station, if you will? Or maybe you're one of those people that believe space doesn't exist or something. I don't know, something stupid. You know, the same conspiracy theorists that believe low-quality footage of UFOs are the same people who don't believe HD footage of rocket landings.

But there's still so much fake stuff that happens. That's still entertaining though, right? So what's the point in calling it reality TV if almost everyone in the world knows it's fake? We should probably get this fixed ASAP. Now most people use ASAP to mean "as soon as possible," but it could also definitely be "as slow as possible." Great! That's definitely an unpopular opinion, though. But a lot of times, unpopular opinions aren't really unpopular opinions. They're just the least frequently openly talked about ones.

I have a popular opinion, though, for sure, and it's that I don't think anyone in the world likes being sung "Happy Birthday," and no one really likes singing "Happy Birthday." So why do we even do it? Also, I hate CAPTCHAs. They're actually so annoying. Why is the robot asking me if I'm not a robot? The great thing about artificial intelligence is that it does exactly what you wanted it to do. But the bad thing about artificial intelligence is that it does exactly what you want it to do.

Technology can be frustrating, especially when it doesn't work the way you want it to. You know, even if phones and other electronics became waterproof, most of us will still probably subconsciously avoid getting anything wet, just out of habit. Water isn't scary, but you know what is? The ocean! All things considered, being scared of deep water is just like being scared of heights. But in water, if you're scared of heights, you probably don't want to live in a high-rise.

If elevators hadn't been invented, all the CEOs and important people would probably have their offices on the first floor as a sign of status instead of the highest floor. It's kind of funny. The most massive glass towers in the world are, in a way, the world's tallest sandcastles. They're mostly owned by big businesses. It's weird if a small business is family owned; people see it as friendly. But if a large company is owned by a family, it smells like corruption.

Speaking of family, if you have brothers and sisters, they're just alternate versions of what could have been you. Fun fact: No Amish person has ever been cyberbullied. Alright, anyway, has anyone ever seen a taxi at a gas station before? Because I swear I've never seen one. Maybe I'll see it one day when I'm older. They say life is short, but that phrase usually encourages people to do things that'll probably make their life shorter. Life is confusing!

Even your birthday itself can be confusing. Like if you say you're born on the last day of February, it doesn't actually reveal your birthday if you think about it. Speaking of confusing things: math time! I like math for some reason, so let me give you a tip that you might not know: percentages are reversible. For example, 80% of 30 is equal to 30% of 80. 16% of 25 is the same as 25% of 16, or 4. Seriously, just try it out. When you go to school, though, you probably wrote with a pencil on paper on a wooden desk. Or in other terms, you used a dead tree to hold a dead tree that you then used another dead tree to write on.

Oh, and when you mess up, your erasers sacrifice their lives for your mistakes. Since we're all at home, at least you don't have to wake up early for school anymore. Alarm clocks are one of the only devices that make you angry in both scenarios: whether they work or not. Inventions are only created to increase or prevent laziness. Speaking of laziness, most times we want to go to bed to end the day, but at the same time, we don't want tomorrow to come any quicker. Dying in your sleep sounds preferred by many people, but to me, it's kind of scary! Imagine just slipping away from existence without even knowing it.

Sleeping can be kind of hard sometimes though. Some nights I lay there staring at the clock for hours on end. I wonder if there's any times on a clock I haven't seen before. By the way, is blinking the plural of winking? I also have really stupid thoughts before I go to sleep. Like if animals saw us taking off our clothes, would they think we're shedding our skin? What even are our body parts?

Teeth are such a scary and weird concept. There are dozens of bones sticking outside, or inside of your body, and in order to prevent these bones from decaying, we have to scrub them every day. Your eyeballs won't fall out, though, but they also will never actually see each other directly, hopefully. Even your fingers are weird. Your nails are a window into the flesh of your finger. If you do happen to lose a finger, I have some good news for you: cutting your fingernails becomes 10 times easier! I hope you still have your index finger though.

Clicking a computer mouse is literally sending a signal from your brain to your finger, to the computer's finger, to the computer's brain. Roughly a third of all marriages now resulted from online dating, so in a way, that means that computers and algorithms are breeding humans. But hey, shout out to computers! You gave me a job. It can be stressful sometimes; like most jobs. But monitoring incoming nuclear strikes has to be the only job in the world where you're glad it's boring.

Oh, and by the way, on May 30th, two guys rode a dragon into space on the back of a falcon. I guess that job sounds like a little bit more fun, but you need to be smart to be an astronaut. Something I've noticed is that smart people have poor eyesight. Probably because lower graphics make your brain run faster. IQ is just as fast as quick questions. Do any of these shower thoughts even make sense? Comment your shower thoughts, and maybe I'll put them in a video. Or maybe make an entire video with your comments. I don't know, but what I do know is that if you cut the corner off a piece of paper, it gains a corner. A pizza shape is round; it's delivered in a box, and you cut it into triangles.

And the phrase, "A part A and part are apart." But when A and part are no longer apart, they become a part. Ah, yes, the English language comes in again! If you live to be 70 years old, you spend 10 years on each day of the week. You might die soon! But that's okay because each person who has ever lived is still on this planet in some form, and that's pretty cool.

Since we're on the topic of death, I was thinking about the butterfly effect the other day, and I realized you could have potentially caused a string of events that has led to someone, or multiple people's death. So does that make most people accessories to murders? Murders are legal; it's a crime, obviously. Ticking a dog from its owner is a crime, but taking a dog from a family is fine. You've also never actually experienced the present; by the time your brain processes it, it's gone. And as every second goes on, your risk of dying increases.

Now, if you think about it, most sea animals probably don't know that humans exist. So as the risk of dying increases, we could wipe each other out eventually, and the majority of ocean life probably wouldn't even care. With the rate at which we're going, that looks like it could be pretty soon, not gonna lie. The world is kind of funny when you step back and really think about it. In a day and age where everyone takes everything seriously, it's nice to pause and consider the intriguing, and sometimes flat-out just weird thoughts that some of us have but for the most part never share. Some of them are pretty interesting.

Like, the fact that the Earth's population has doubled in the past 50 years, but it took almost 2 million years to get to the 3.7 billion human population in 1971. For every person alive today, there's about 15 dead people throughout all of human history. Or that one day in the far future, someone will be the very last person to die of cancer. Others are honestly just annoying. You normally breathe and blink on autopilot, but now since I just mentioned it, you're doing both of them manually. Sorry, by the way! But the fact that your tongue is probably touching the top of your mouth right now, but no matter where you put it, it just doesn't feel comfortable.

Why do women's pants have fake pockets, but babies' pants have real pockets? These are shower thoughts. Whether you have these thoughts in the shower, or in the car while you're in traffic, or when you're laying in bed for hours at night when you just can't sleep, the location doesn't matter. The Earth is revolving around the sun; the sun is revolving around the center of our galaxy, and our galaxy is in a unique orbit with the nearest galaxy to our own, Andromeda.

So with that being said, every single second, the Earth is moving into a new position in space that it has never been before and will never return to again, ever! Your age in years is how many times you've circled the sun, but your age in months is how many times the moon has circled you. If you could steal just a second of life from everyone on Earth, you'd be able to survive for nearly another 240 years. But did you know that two people can be born at the same exact time, but because of time zones have different birthdays? Or even be born in different years? Maybe there is no reason as to why we're here, or at least that's what we're supposed to think. Maybe we're just characters in a universe-sized video game.

Sleep could be a save point, which is why we really don't know what happens between the second we fall asleep and when we eventually regain consciousness some hours later. We also trust our bodies enough to just go unconscious and continue breathing so we don't die. If you think about it, it's actually healthy and recommended to sleep for four months a year. But in order to bring us back, our alarm clocks are made for the sole purpose of being annoying enough to shake humans into consciousness. You might want to smash it and break it, but don't! Every analog clock that no longer works actually shows the time on it where it died.

If you order a new clock to be delivered to you and it arrives safely, your time has arrived. Speaking of being conscious humans, there's a lot that goes on inside our bodies. Your brain makes your heart work and your heart makes your brain work. It's really quiet given the things that are going on inside us right now. Like imagine if you could hear blood gushing through your veins or if every time we blinked, it made a noise. But wait, if everyone on the planet blinked at the same exact time, nobody would be able to tell that it just happened.

We have eyes to see, we have a nose to smell, we have ears to hear, and hands to feel, and we have a mouth to taste. But is this every sense that there is? Could there be other senses that we just can't perceive because we don't have the means to? We just haven't evolved to need them because it's not needed on Earth. But what about on other planets? When we colonize Mars, will the future humans evolve to have different senses than we do today? Evolution is an interesting idea.

The voice inside your head has also evolved with you over time. Do you remember if it was the voice of a kid when you were younger? If you heard your eight-year-old voice today, would you recognize it? Being able to record things digitally is something that we all overlook. We view old writing like The Wealth of Nations or the Bible or the Epic of Gilgamesh, and we see them as some of the most influential pieces of writing to ever exist. But in the year 3000, we'll be able to look back at thousand-year-old videos and recordings just like we view old writing today.

If you're watching this by the way, hello! But due to deep fakes and people getting really, really good at editing and faking things, there's only going to be a very brief period in human history where videos can actually be trusted as evidence. People see glasses as a sign of intelligence for some reason, even though we all failed a test in order to get them. But you know, Antarctica is probably the smartest and most educated continent on Earth, considering it's populated almost exclusively by scientists.

Science has taught us a lot about the universe, about the planet we live on, and even what goes on inside our bodies. One of the most interesting things that we figured out, though, is that the brain is the only organ that knows it's actually an organ. And on top of that, it actually named itself. But the brain takes time to process information. It’s very, very quick, but not instantaneous, so technically your body is living ever so slightly in the future.

We live in a society, and we set up and made rules that everyone should follow in order to keep things going smoothly, but some of them were just kind of funny. For example, parking tickets are just speeding tickets for going zero miles per hour. We have cars that can go upwards of 200 miles an hour, but there's almost nowhere where you're legally allowed to go that fast in them. In life, people always tell you to stay in school and don’t do drugs, but when you get sick, the best advice you get is to be told to do drugs and stay out of school.

You never truly appreciate the fact that you can breathe through your nose until you're sick and suddenly lose half the ability to keep yourself alive. Everyone has taken medicine and seen a warning label to not operate heavy machinery while on the use of it. Now they're probably talking about cars and such, but almost everyone immediately thinks of like a forklift or a crane or a caterpillar 797F. Speaking of cranes, though, have you ever actually seen a crane being built? They kind of just show up out of nowhere and then disappear randomly.

Language is just weird. I made a whole video about it a couple of weeks ago. Try to think of another English word that ends in "mt" other than "dreamed." I more closely represent the letter "X" as a math variable as opposed to it being a real letter. It's just a fake "C." Anyway, "crane" is the 9618th most used word in the English language, but you really don't need to know that many words to speak English well. Learning the top 100 words in most languages will usually contain at least 50 percent of the words you use in everyday conversation.

Bring this up to 500 words and you'll get to around 80 percent. This should allow you to go out in public and order food without an issue. But when you're at a restaurant and you're waiting for a waiter, you become the waiter. On the topic of food, food also doesn't really go bad. Just something else starts eating it before you do. Bacteria!

Also, I was in a public restroom the other day, and it had one of those touch-free soap dispensers. I don't really get the point of those, though, because as long as the soap does its job, like to remove the bacteria from my hands, does it really matter if I touch the dispenser or not? But one of the nastiest things there is out there is what you might be watching this video on right now: a phone! Most people check their phones nearly a hundred times a day, and I don't remember the last time that I thoroughly washed off my phone.

There's so many things that you can do on a phone. There's almost unlimited possibilities. Cell phone providers take advantage of this and sell unlimited minutes, unlimited texts, and unlimited data for any given month. But in reality, you're actually only getting 44,600 minutes a month at most, so they're kind of lying, but not really. There's about 730 hours in a month. If you work a full-time job, you're going to be working at least 40 hours a week or 160 hours a month. It's all worth it, though, whenever that check comes in. But sometimes you spend money you don't have.

In a way, debit cards pay for things with the past hours of your life, and credit cards pay for things with the future hours of your life. But if you don't pay your taxes, you'll get thrown in jail. But jails are typically funded with taxpayer money, so if you go to jail for tax evasion, you're living off of taxes because you didn't pay taxes. Taxes are like a subscription fee to your country that you can't cancel, even if you don't like the service.

The only reason we want or feel the need to make money is to get rid of all of it in the end. For a very brief second, every 19-year-old is the oldest teenager in the world. In the same way, every single person alive was at one point the youngest person in the entire world. But even more interesting than both of these is the fact that for the smallest period of time, you were exactly pi years old. Walking is just you continuously screwing up your balance so you fall into your other leg, and the process repeats until you reach your destination.

Knocking on someone's door is basically punching their house until they give you attention. Similarly, clapping is just giving yourself a high five for someone else's hard work. Clapping is universally a pretty good thing. It's a way to show your appreciation for something without someone having to see you face to face. Facial expressions are something that we kind of just don't notice day to day, but they're pretty interesting. Your skull doesn't change shape at all; your skin, your flesh just warps and bends in ways to form a smile, or a frown, or anything else.

Actually, you've never even truly seen your own face before. You've only viewed it in pictures or in reflections. The rich used to pay the poor for their entertainment, but today the poor pay the rich for entertainment. Now, you don't always pay; like YouTube is a thing. But YouTube itself is older than some people watching this video! Watching videos, though, is just being entertained by super tiny pixels changing colors and turning on and off. So to be honest, existence is just really weird.

There are only two days in your entire lifetime that aren't 24 hours long: the day you're born and the day you die. So hurry those showers up; you're using all my hot water! What if your entire life is flashing in front of your eyes but you're already dead? If you're not dead but alive, everything is trying to kill you constantly. Your stomach is constantly trying to kill you; feeding it makes it stop. You need to drink as well; being hydrated is a necessity. Drink your water!

Normally, you empty your drink from the top, but when you use a straw, you empty it from the bottom. Your lungs are also constantly trying to kill you; breathing resets that timer too. We really take for granted the fact that most of our body's processes are automated. Aging is a disease with a 100% mortality rate. Maybe that's why aliens aren't visiting us. Maybe they should visit Antarctica, though, because Antarctica is statistically the best place to have a baby. Because all 11 babies born there lived, making it have a zero percent infant mortality rate.

It's pretty cool to think about that there are only 365 different birthdays for nearly 8 billion people. You live to be around 80, and you spend a third of your life sleeping! But when you sleep, you're just looking at the back of your eyelids for eight hours straight. And to be honest, sleep is just a free trial of death! So we're all dead?

Here's some more shower thoughts! A lot of TV shows have those fake laugh tracks in the background, so you know when to laugh at the really bad jokes. But what you don't really think about is for the really, really old shows, while you're sitting and watching and listening to it, you're also at the same time probably listening to a bunch of dead people laughing.

Related? One day, there's going to be more dead people on social media than there are living people if they still exist! Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, YouTube even will be a graveyard of content and information from people who lived hundreds of years ago. It will become the biggest source of information for any event. You'll be able to see how people reacted to presidential elections, to the death of their idols, to the spread of new diseases, to everything there is.

You won't be able to see how the world reacted to sliced bread, though—bread is just a loaf of dough! So by that logic, cheese is just a loaf of milk, and an ice cube is just a loaf of water. Speaking of ice, something I find kind of interesting is that there have been entire civilizations who never knew that water had a solid form. The money you earn is never actually yours; it's just your turn with it.

Everyone works to survive, and all of the money that you earn actually belongs to someone else. There's a lot of jobs and businesses that bank off of the fact that things in your life can go wrong. Doctors only make money because you get sick. Mechanics make money because your car breaks down. Lawyers make money because you messed up really, really bad. Like maybe you robbed a bank! But if you do try and rob a bank, you shouldn't have any problems with rent or food bills for the next 10 years, regardless of whether or not you're successful.

A jail and a prison are basically the same thing, but a jailer and prisoner are completely different. The company Bic is known for making lighters and pens; both of these happen to be things that are frequently stolen, which is kind of a pretty good business model, if you think about it. Teachers make money off of the fact that you don't know how to add numbers together or speak a language properly.

And speaking of language, you ever just take time to think about letters and words? They're weird and confusing, but kind of cool! It takes more letters to spell the word "short" than it does to spell "long." Also, all the e's in the word "Mercedes" are pronounced differently. When you say the word "forward," your lips move forward—when you say the word "back," your lips move back. When hurricanes form, the most dangerous part is the eye. It destroys everything in its path; it's right in the middle, which also happens to be where the letter "i" is—in the middle of the word "hurricane."

It's kind of cool; hurricanes are deadly! Everyone tends to talk about and consider the question that is: where do we go when we die? And it's a pretty good question! But no one ever asks, "Where are we before we were born?" The world hasn't changed much over the past 700 years. Today, we take pictures of food and put it on Instagram, and a lot of people get super frustrated by this. But during the Renaissance, people would sit around for weeks on end painting a table full of food.

You know, you've probably walked past someone that you've played video games with online before and just didn't realize. Similarly, you see people every single day that you will never see again in your entire life. Out of every event that has happened, everything led you both to the same place at the same time, only to veer off path and never meet again.

On a similar note, you've probably seen someone on the last day of their life, and you could have never known. To make this more fun, though, your future wife is probably telling her boyfriend that they'll be together forever. How cute! You often hear that life is a roller coaster, and I get it, it feels like it.

But when you're on a roller coaster, aren't the downhill parts the most fun? You also often hear things that are so easy a caveman could do it. The problem is that cavemen were able to start fires without lighters or matches and were able to kill animals that were three to four times their size. So is it really that easy?

If you've been using technology like computers or cellphones for years, as most of us have, you've probably scrolled for hundreds or thousands of miles. But honestly, you scrolling doesn't mean you've actually moved anything. When you scroll on your phone, nothing changes except for the color of the pixels on screen; nothing is moving. It just seems like it. When your laptop overheats, it freezes.

No British king would have this issue, though, because no ruling British king has ever used the internet before. The question "Where are you?" was probably never asked. Eventually, when you're ordering something or sending a letter or something, you may have to put Earth as a part of your address. Maybe when you can live on the moon, you've seen more of the surface of the moon with your own eyes than you will ever likely see of Earth!

Actually, if you think about it, about half of the universe is in your field of view at all times. But for now, humans are on Earth. But we're weird and a little broken. Brushing your teeth is really the only time you ever clean your skeleton. Cleaning is just rearranging dirt!

Speaking of cleaning, you should probably really clean your glasses right now; they're disgusting! You really can't clean something without making something else dirty. You also can't move your top teeth! Go ahead and try! You can't hum while holding your nose shut either. Go ahead, try this one too, and while you're at it, you also can't snap your fingers inside your mouth.

Humans cut down birdhouses to make birdhouses! If you've ever clapped your hands before, you never actually stopped. There's just a really, really, really long pause between claps. We do have some redeeming qualities, I guess. We live a lot longer than most animals. If you're over the age of 30, you are alive before every single dog that is currently on Earth.

We argue a lot, though, over really, really stupid issues like whether or not we should eat other animals, even though we are animals ourselves. But if vegetarians don't like each other, is it still considered beef? Let's flip a coin and decide! Flipping a coin isn't really a 50-50 thing, though. It's random in a vacuum. A robot can flip a coin millions of times and get heads every single time. Humans only really use it to make decisions less stressful.

Machine learning is becoming a bigger and bigger part of our lives every day, but you observe machine learning all the time! Your brain, your brain is really, really good at learning things. This is shown in your dreams! Your brain can recreate scenarios with people you've known for years and just have full-on conversations with them that your brain made up on the spot, even with people you just met! And it can all feel so real!

But no one has ever dreamed about popcorn until it happened. And honestly, the person who discovered popcorn had to be super confused when it happened. You ever think about how arms on chairs are just like chairs for your arms? Also, if two mind readers are reading each other's minds, whose mind are they actually reading?

It's weird, but what's also weird is that blue is usually seen as cold, while red is usually seen as hot. But blue fire is hotter than red fire! It's likely that another kid is going to grow up in your childhood home and have a lot of the same experiences that you did while growing up there. You'll use every room, toilet, staircase, and light switch that you did! But why are they called light switches? At the same time, they're also dark switches.

Almost everything you have ever owned is still on Earth somewhere. Unless you're Elon Musk. Then send your car into space! All of the materials needed to create today's technology have existed since the beginning of the earth; it just wasn't in the right form or put together yet. You're living in an age where you can be smarter than almost anyone in the past two million years. You can be smarter than almost all 100 billion people who have ever lived!

You have the world's information at your fingertips, but you'd rather sit here and listen to me tell you what I think about in the shower. I'm flattered, really, but please get out of my house before I call the cops! Wow, another shower thoughts video? Who would have guessed? Not like the last two got a million views or anything.

Look, I'm just trying to make people smile or something, you know? People say that a child's laughter can light up your home, unless it's 3 a.m. and you don't have a kid. But you can't escape reality sometimes, even in your dreams! For some reason, while we're asleep, our brain makes up stories only to get scared of them and then wake us up, which seems really counterintuitive in nightmares. How does your body replicate the feeling of falling from a building when you've never actually fallen like that before?

I talk about dreams a lot and how much weird stuff happens in them, but have you ever really considered the thought that you've probably done some really weird stuff in somebody else's dream at some point? They probably don't remember it, though! I mean, I really don't remember any of my dreams. How many dreams can you actually remember right now? You've lost thousands of days of your memory, and that information will most likely never return to your mind. So is what you actually remember about your life the true story? It all boils down to information, data, numbers!

Speaking of numbers, 11 is both one percent and ten percent more than ten percent. The 60s were now 60 years ago. We're also as close to the 70s in the past as we are to the 70s in the future. What is saying "I'll be there in 18 minutes" sounds super specific, but saying "I'll be there in 15 minutes" sounds super generic? Your parents are more closely related to monkeys than you are.

Something cooler, though, is that every single one of us has ancestors who are alive at the same time as every other human that has ever existed. We've fallen off a bit, though. You know, us being attracted to people that wear glasses is kind of backwards when you consider natural selection. But you know, it doesn't really matter. Humans aren't immortal; the heart is basically a timer counting downwards until your death.

Someone, somewhere is listening to the last song they'll ever hear or watching the last movie they'll ever watch or getting the last haircut they'll ever receive. And there's really no way of knowing. There's a chance that the last picture of yourself you took could also end up being the one that is used for your obituary. Your life could end at any moment.

It's not super often that you publicly hear about hitmen. So this either means that there aren't many of them or that they're really, really good at their jobs. You know how famous do you have to be to actually be assassinated as opposed to just being murdered? Like, am I not important enough? What if you are murdered? Don't worry; someone thought you were important enough to not exist anymore! So you really did mean something to someone.

You lived a great life—or maybe you didn't. Some people are optimists, others are pessimists. You know, they usually ask, "Are you a glass-half-empty or a glass-half-full person?" Well, the easiest way to answer it is this: did you pour water in or out of it? Or maybe it wasn't even filled with water to begin with. If things are going bad, a drink always helps. When you're drinking any alcoholic drink, both you and the drink get drunk.

No matter how many failures you have in life, you're still on track to become the world's oldest person. And once you claim that title, you keep it for life! If you want to stay in the running to become the world's oldest person, you need to be healthy. But isn't being healthy technically just the slowest possible way of dying? You know, you spend your entire life collecting people for your funeral. You have no idea if you've lived 20% of your life or 90% of your life.

It's weird to think about if you're closer to your birth or your death right now. Life isn't really a journey; it's more of a mission. Birthday cakes explain life pretty well. You start off not knowing what a birthday cake is, and then you figure it out. So you start getting excited for the days where you get birthday cakes! But then eventually, you realize you can go out and buy your own birthday cake whenever you want! But then you realize you should probably stop eating so much cake because it's pretty unhealthy for you, until one day you forget when your own birthday is, and cake is the last thing on your mind.

You know, birthdays seem pretty simple, but they can get kind of confusing. Your first birthday is technically your second birthday, and since a baby's age is only counted after being born, is a fetus that is still inside the womb technically a negative age? Anyway, you know 3D printers. You know you have to model what you want on a computer screen, make sure everything looks good, and then eventually you go and print it out.

Well, when someone's pregnant, you go from being viewed on an ultrasound monitor to being printed in the operating room, pretty much! Humans are literally 3D printers! Humans are much different from the technology that we use. I mean, we made it! Your bed is just a wireless charger that takes anywhere from five to ten hours to fully recharge.

The specific model of human. A lot of people have the same alarm set that you do. So there's tons of people that have the same exact reaction as you do every single morning at the same time. Your alarm is technically your life's theme song because it starts every new episode every day. But not gonna lie, how often do you actually wake up fully recharged? Phones and computers work perfectly fine when they're on like 30% battery. It would be really nice if humans worked the same way, but we don't! We're different!

Humans are the only species that decided that water was too boring of a beverage to keep us alive. We need food to survive, just like so many other animals. By the way, when you bite down on something, you're actually biting up! Have you ever thought about the fact that your belly button is technically your old mouth? Maybe you have! But I bet you've never thought about the fact that you can go the rest of your life without eating, or you could just eat something you're extremely allergic to! A lethal dose, if you will!

A lethal dose of something is also technically a lifetime supply if you think about it! Like if you're allergic to peanut butter, just eat a bunch of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches! But wait! The definition of sandwich is just an item of food consisting of two pieces of bread with some filling in between. So by definition, loaves of bread that you buy are really just massive bread sandwiches! We literally have to do it, but somehow we've turned liking to eat into a personality trait! Just like everything else.

The most obvious example is hair. Hair is annoying, though. You've probably never thought about the fact that we can't hear our hair growing. We can't hear music, though. Sheet music is just a sound recipe! Music remixes are kind of like sound photoshops, if that makes sense. Just like turning up the volume on something is kind of like zooming in, but with sound! Our senses have turned out to be pretty useful. You can shut your eyes, close your mouth, cover your ears, pinch your nose, but you can't block out your sense of touch!

Your senses are meant to protect you, and your sense of touch helps prevent you from doing things that cause harm to your body, like cutting off your limbs! No one will ever be able to chop off both of their hands with a knife. Please don't try it! Here, try this instead, okay? How would you pronounce this? You probably said 0.6, but in reality, it's 0.60! But no one ever says that.

You know, we take the easy way out a lot. We put in the least amount of effort needed into things, especially talking—texting in specific. If "yours" is commonly written as a year, then shouldn't "your" be written as "your"? Has communication gotten better or worse? We're more connected than ever, but for some reason, we put the least amount of effort into communicating with each other. You know, we can't communicate with our future selves in many ways: notes, videos, and so on. Except we can't actually see ourselves!

However, we can see our past selves! Except we can't communicate with them in any way! It kind of frustrating! Speaking of the past, remember Flappy Bird? That was seven years ago! God, I'm old! Anyway, since we're talking about the past, you're still it from a game of tag like 10 years ago! But let's go back even further than that—like really far!

Since a meteor killed off a dominant species on Earth millions of years ago, aren't we technically living in a post-apocalyptic world right now? The same thing could actually happen again! NASA is tracking tens of thousands of near-Earth asteroids that could cause harm to the entire planet. But you're more likely to die from your cat than an asteroid! But I'm sure you'll still think they're super cute. If cats go meow and dogs go woof and ducks go quack, what's the generalized sound that humans make?

Dogs are able to legally pee in more places than we are, which is funny! But here's the most depressing thing in the entire video: most dogs have siblings they'll never see again. There's a lot that we humans don't see, though. There are probably areas of Google Earth that no one has ever really zoomed into. Also, if you look at yourself in a mirror from five feet away, aren't you technically seeing yourself from 10 feet away since light takes time to travel?

You're also technically looking at yourself slightly in the past. Being able to see the future would be great! Actually, do caterpillars know they're going to become butterflies or do they just put themselves in a cocoon while having zero clue what they're doing? Most of us really don't even know what we're doing. We're just out here trying to survive!

Your survival in today's world depends on whether or not you can convince people to give you money! Saying, "I sold an hour of my life for 15" sounds a lot worse than "I make 15 an hour," but that's the reality of the situation! Everything in life just depends on how you look at it! Like, yeah, smoking can be pretty bad! But if cigarette companies cured cancer, cigarette sales would probably increase, which makes everyone happy in the end.

You could view stealing as bad, but torrenting things is the most socially acceptable form of stealing, and people do that all the time! Anyway, here's something that blew my mind. You know when people have an audition for something and their friends tell them to "break a leg"? I just realized they say that because they hope you end up in the cast! It all makes sense now!

It's crazy how things can be interpreted differently just based off of how you say it! Saying "Have a nice day" to someone sounds super friendly and is pretty normal, but saying "Enjoy your next 24 hours" sounds threatening and will probably have them on edge for the rest of the day. Just a few words can cause a person to go from being completely calm to driving them insane!

Like this: the entropy of the universe is always increasing! This means that things tend to go from being ordered to being disordered. Once you clean your room, it's basically guaranteed that it's going to eventually end up dirty again. So even though there's chaos on earth, like almost having another world war or the Amazon burning down— that everyone just forgot about—or the fact that there was an entire continent on fire, the fact that there's a new plague again, it actually all makes sense because nothing was supposed to stay orderly to begin with.

Alright, maybe I'm thinking too much at this point and I forgot to bring a towel. So I made this video in the English language! Last year, I double-checked and yep, it's still weird! Like when you scratch something out of your notes, you're just noting to yourself that that note no longer needs to be noted! And like, why do horrible and horrific mean the same thing but terrible and terrific mean the opposite?

To make matters worse, the phrase "this blows" and "this sucks" are both opposite and identical at the same time! A lot of our phrases don't even make that much sense to begin with! Slow and steady wins the race works for a lot of things, actually, but the one thing it doesn't actually work in is in an actual race!

Are you going to stay nice with someone? It's mostly a bad thing, but breaking the ice is usually a good thing! People usually put "gone but not forgotten" on their tombstones, but for most people after like three or four generations, that's really just not true at all! Anything is possible! Then isn't it possible that some things are impossible? In the same way, I guess when people say "we're not perfect," doesn't that make us perfect at not being perfect?

I'm just going to confuse myself if I keep going! Why do we have fingertips, but not toe tips? Like, we can tiptoe, but we can't finger tip! You also don't really know how the word "red" is red unless it's red! And the more I light my lighter, the lighter my lighter gets until it's too light to light! The word "separate" is written altogether! But the words "altogether" are written separately! Extraordinary and ordinary are antonyms!

You know, it's crazy what a single space can do. But remember every single time you press the space bar, there are six million other people pressing it at the same exact time as you are? Speaking of space, in the last shower thoughts video, I mentioned reality television. I double-checked this too, and yeah, it still sucks! But don't you think a really good show would be flying flat earthers into space and watching them react to it? Sure, it'd be expensive now, but in like 20 years, maybe not so much!

Commendable to space! Congratulations! You're casually floating around in the void now! If you just randomly started peeing, you would actually cause an acceleration. It worked the same way that a rocket does! This wouldn't work if you're dehydrated, though. Drink your water! But even then, we don't buy water! We rent it! We use it, then return it. It's cleaned and then sold back to you again!

Life is crazy! In other water-related news, fire trucks are just water trucks! You know, shout out to water through condensation and precipitation for almost 4 billion years! It's been traveling all around and throughout the planet, only to end up in my shower! You know the deal by now. These are shower thoughts!

Changed a lot over the course of history. There were people alive in their 90s that were born before the world's population hit 2 billion! When the world's oldest person, Kane Tanaka, was born 117 years ago, the global population was just 1.6 billion! In just one person's life, we've gone from 1.6 to 8 billion! Countries are constantly changing; the majority of superpower countries in the world have been around for thousands of years! And most of the cities in the world are probably older than the countries they're in!

If you're 25, you've been alive for over 10% of the United States history! That's kind of insane when you think about the position the country has gone through over the past 250 years—the good, the bad, and even the ugly. Okay, maybe a lot of ugly. Anyway, you know they say it takes 10,000 hours to master a skill, but I've been alive for way more than 10,000 hours, and I've yet to master the skill of life!

When you're a kid, you think adults somehow know everything and have their lives together. But once you grow up, you realize that many people genuinely have absolutely no clue what they're doing! Sometimes also, when growing up, you realize how absurd daily life is. We paid the zoo to look at a bunch of stolen property! Most of us have dead bodies in our freezers! And your lap only really exists when you're sitting; when you stand up, it just becomes your legs again!

I don't make the rules! Okay, life is frustrating! And something that's been frustrating me lately, more than usual, is that we have wireless chargers that are actually more restricting than just normal wired chargers. It's fine, though! No one is texting me anyway! Most of the time, having the last word in an argument means you've won! But if that argument is over text, getting left on red kind of feels like you've lost!

Oh, and by the way, if you didn't know, your fingers don't have muscles in them. Whenever you move your fingers, your palm and forearm are doing 99% of the work! Your handwriting is actually just your hand's accent! So I guess slurring your words when you speak is just talking in cursive! Remember, though, you don't get paid on how hard you work; you get paid on how hard you are to replace!

Life isn't fair, but at least we're trying, right? Birth certificates are usually the first participation award people get in life! It's kind of weird welcoming a child into the world since they've already been here as long as everything else has, just in a different form of matter! I guess it's just like celebrating the temporary collection of atoms that make you, you! Wow, I think I actually just described birthdays!

Death certificates are pretty much like saying thanks for playing! We passed the anniversary of our death every year without knowing! Who knows? It could even be today! Death is a movie! Nightmares are just the trailers! They say that life flashes before your eyes when you die, so what if every time you blink, you're actually just taking screenshots to show yourself before you die?

The last person in your friend group will go to all of your funerals, but no one will go to theirs! Don't feel sad, though; this just means that they're the last friend to hatch their skeleton. Most video games prevent you from sleeping when danger is nearby. Think about that the next time you can't fall asleep at night for no reason! Remember, everyone, if you can't sleep, just know that if you lay down with enough force, you'll fall asleep instantly!

Are you scared of fights? A lot of people are and miss out on things like parachuting. But there's no reason to worry if your parachute doesn't open! You have the rest of your life to fix it! You're not afraid of falling; you're just afraid of hitting the ground! You don't really know that you've forgotten something until you can't remember it! Think about how many things you've actually forgotten!

Oh wait, you can! But speaking of forgetting things, the center of gravity is the letter "V" and it's pointing down! And I couldn't fix that parachute. You're a murderer, you know that, right? You've murdered trillions of bacteria in the shower! Fun fact: cannibalism can solve both the issues of overpopulation and world hunger at the same time! Two birds with one stone!

Alright, so plastic dinosaurs are made of plastic, and plastic is made of oil, and oil comes from fossil fuels from actual dinosaurs! So technically, dinosaurs never left! We're just turning them into plastic! We've always been told that an asteroid killed the dinosaurs, but what if the asteroid was just a spaceship, and we're the aliens? "Take me to your leader" is just the alien version of "Let me speak to your manager!"

For some reason, we've been branding aliens as Karens all along! We've been looking for extraterrestrial life for decades, but we can't really find anything! Most of us just completely dismiss UFO abduction stories because, well, they're usually insane and made up! An animal who was captured from the wild and studied by human biologists would probably tell the same story! Because of this, life is seen as rare! But think about it! The rarest animals on Earth might not actually be rare! They might just be really good at hiding from us!

It's the same principle! Now that I mention it, the principle of YouTube itself is interesting to say the least! It feels like whoever you're watching is talking directly to you, and you never think anything of it. But in reality, I'm here in my room by myself talking to myself! I'm lonely! Everyone loves to comment "first!" like they're proving something! But if you really want to be special, being last is a lot more impressive!

I can understand it, though! The first person to do anything is usually the one that's remembered for it! But since we don't remember pretty much anything from when we were babies, can you even remember the first time you started gaining consciousness? Maybe that's exactly what our first memory really is. You really have zero idea of when you were born! You just take everyone else's word for it!

Fruit, just like humans, have belly buttons where they were plucked from! And your belly button is technically just your old mouth! So now that I think about it, the fruit we grow is essentially eating away at the sun every single day! And we eat that fruit, so in a sense, the sun doesn't really taste that bad! I know that can be a lot to take in, so just relax for a second!

But wait! If you're laying on an open field, that kind of makes the entire Earth your backpack! So you're pretty much carrying the weight of the world! People usually say things like, "I'm six feet tall," but that's only when you're standing! If you're laying down, you're six feet long! So technically, tall people sleep longer! When you hug someone, so like once a year for most of us, they're the closest person in front of you! But at the same time, they're also the furthest person on Earth behind you!

I know it's sad, but hey, you've survived 100% of the things you've ever encountered in life! You're undefeated! Every person you know knows a different version of you! It's like you're a video game and everyone you know is at different save points! The only thing is you're the only one who can finish it! But remember, the person you see in the mirror and the voice you hear in your own head is not the same person that the rest of the world sees and hears!

The only person who truly knows you is yourself! And you don't even know yourself that well! You've forgotten most days of your life just as everyone else has, and you'll continue to forget! So for now, for the time being, even if the world is falling apart, just try and remember the good! And uh, by the way, the letter "W" definitely starts with a "D."