JERRY BLOOP!!! Uninformed Video Game Reviews

[Music] [Applause]

Vsauce! Michael here with a special treat for you today. It's a guy named Jerry Bloop, who's never played a video game in his life, but yet reviews them anyway. Played by a real person named Kevin, who does play video games and has a great channel right over here. He's already made a few uninformed video game reviews, so check this one out! It's the first one he made; he made it back in June. I hope you enjoy.

Greetings all in the internet realm! Jerry Bloop here with uninformed video game reviews, the series where I review video games that I've never played because I have no money of my own, and I don't know where my mom is. Today is June. Since this is the first video of uninformed video game reviews, there might be a few kinks to work out, so bear with me while I figure this out.

All right, first of all, I forgot I got pants! All right, now that I have pants on, let's get the uninformed reviews started. The first game is Mario Galaxy 2, which is for the Nintendo Wenus Penis machine. It's also known as Mario 8 and contains all the plumbing action that you've loved since you were wearing diapers last year.

In this game, you get to collect coins and stars, and you get to jump on mean turtles. You have to kill the main turtle, who's a demon king turtle, and save the Queen of Peaches. Luckily, you get your own nice turtle to ride on named Sushi. It's a great game that you should play and let me know how it is because I don't have it.

The next game is called Blur, and it's multi-console. It's for the Sony 3 and also the Ice Box 360. It's a car game where you play as Gary the car, and you have to destroy the evil cars, as deemed by the great car council, and save all C Town. I've never driven a car before, but I did drive my neighbor Jeffy's Power Wheels once. I crashed it into his dad's real car, and I'm not allowed over there anymore.

Another brand new game to video game land is Trauma Team, which has come out for the Nintendo Wenus Penis. You play as a team of doctors who have to fix body parts, mostly boobs. I don't know much about boobs, so why don't you tell me about Trauma Team, but actually talk about boobs? That way my mom won't figure out we're talking about boobs, and I won't get in trouble. Actually, she's usually drunk, so she won't know the difference anyway.

So play the game, tell me about it, but mostly let's talk boobs. The final game this month is Red Dead Redemption. It's made by the same guys who did Grand Theft Auto. It's on Sony 3 and uh, Ice Box, and it's an amazing game. It's the first cowboy video game in forever! Oock!

In this game, you can shoot people, which is scary. You can ride horses, which is scary, and you can talk to girls, which is a nightmare made out of nightmares. It looks like a great game, and I'd love to play it, so why don't you tell me about it instead? 'Cause I can't!

All right, now it's time for the part of the show called "Game life is real life," where I try out something from a video game to see if it really works. Today, I'm going to try eating mushrooms like Mario to see if I get bigger, 'cause I can't ride on roller coasters. Luckily, I found some mushrooms underneath my sister's mattress, so I'll eat these and see if it works. Here we go!

Oh, these are disgusting! Mario likes gross food. Oh, I don't feel so good. [Music] Oh, there's coins down there! I can get coins! I can buy all the video games I want! All right, coins, here I come!

Well, the mushrooms didn't work. I didn't get bigger, but I sure got smellier. That's it for this month's episode! Keep playing video games because I can't. Goodbye, internet realm!

Ah! [Music] [Applause]

Banana vau! Thank you so much for watching the first episode of uninformed video game reviews. It's kind of a weird show, but that's what I'm all about. So come and check out my channel and then subscribe! Pat yourself on the back, 'cause you just won the Olympics of the internet. I got to go!

[Music]